'It has been a week since my last Confession"

[fivegoldenrings]

God gave me a devout, holy traditional priest with whom I began to see for weekly Confession, interspersed with a more liberal priest, who nonethless tolerates weekly Confession. Everything was great until we got a "progressive"pastor who sent my devout priest back to Africa. The pastor discourages weekly confession, as does the pastor of a nearby parish. I am not scrupulous, as my tolerant confessor (and my African one) never implied it. In fact, my African priest even warned me at my last confession with him, that other people (did he mean other priests?) would criticize my devotion to receiving this sacrament. My question to you: What can you say instead of those words “It has been a week since my. . .” I think that when some priests here them, they immediately think that the penitent is scrupulous. (The two priests who discouraged frequent confession had never met me before, and my sins were at a similar level to what my usual priests had heard. ) Anything I can say besides “a week?” Recently I saw the pastor again in Confession, said “a few weeks,” and he was just fine with that! Yes, it was deceitful of me and I am remorseful, but it was a disaster the one other time I saw him. I feel that if I could just avoid saying “a week,” the priest could relax and hear my confession without worrying that he has a scrupulous penitent, and I could continue on in striving for holiness, without worrying that the priest will be annoyed that I’m wasting my (or his) time!

 

[JesusSaves17]

God gave me a devout, holy traditional priest with whom I began to see for weekly Confession, interspersed with a more liberal priest, who nonethless tolerates weekly Confession. Everything was great until we got a "progressive"pastor who sent my devout priest back to Africa. The pastor discourages weekly confession, as does the pastor of a nearby parish. I am not scrupulous, as my tolerant confessor (and my African one) never implied it. In fact, my African priest even warned me at my last confession with him, that other people (did he mean other priests?) would criticize my devotion to receiving this sacrament. My question to you: What can you say instead of those words “It has been a week since my. . .” I think that when some priests here them, they immediately think that the penitent is scrupulous. (The two priests who discouraged frequent confession had never met me before, and my sins were at a similar level to what my usual priests had heard. ) Anything I can say besides “a week?” Recently I saw the pastor again in Confession, said “a few weeks,” and he was just fine with that! Yes, it was deceitful of me and I am remorseful, but it was a disaster the one other time I saw him. I feel that if I could just avoid saying “a week,” the priest could relax and hear my confession without worrying that he has a scrupulous penitent, and I could continue on in striving for holiness, without worrying that the priest will be annoyed that I’m wasting my (or his) time!

“My last confession was last week.” Who knows, that could be 7 days or 13 days.

 

[katy]

I have forgotten to say how long it was, and the priest never asked. Maybe just leave it out?

 

[DB_AND_ALI]

God gave me a devout, holy traditional priest with whom I began to see for weekly Confession, interspersed with a more liberal priest, who nonethless tolerates weekly Confession. Everything was great until we got a "progressive"pastor who sent my devout priest back to Africa. The pastor discourages weekly confession, as does the pastor of a nearby parish. I am not scrupulous, as my tolerant confessor (and my African one) never implied it. In fact, my African priest even warned me at my last confession with him, that other people (did he mean other priests?) would criticize my devotion to receiving this sacrament. My question to you: What can you say instead of those words “It has been a week since my. . .” I think that when some priests here them, they immediately think that the penitent is scrupulous. (The two priests who discouraged frequent confession had never met me before, and my sins were at a similar level to what my usual priests had heard. ) Anything I can say besides “a week?” Recently I saw the pastor again in Confession, said “a few weeks,” and he was just fine with that! Yes, it was deceitful of me and I am remorseful, but it was a disaster the one other time I saw him. I feel that if I could just avoid saying “a week,” the priest could relax and hear my confession without worrying that he has a scrupulous penitent, and I could continue on in striving for holiness, without worrying that the priest will be annoyed that I’m wasting my (or his) time!

Goodness me…don’t we sin during the week !!! Actually i sin less on the weekend , hence i know come SATERDAY i should be in the ’ box ’ However i can see your concern with this issue and all i can say is that no priest will ever turn you away…after all a priest cannot really tell if you are remorseful or not. As i read things at the moment the church is doing everything in its power to get folks back into attending confession on a regular basis…it has certainly been a massive help to me on my earthly pilgrimage. Keep striving…!

 

[batteddy]

Maybe just leave it out?

Yeah, that’s what I’d probably suggest.

Even then…he might start remembering. But if you keep switching between two…who knows…they might think you go every 2 weeks and might find that more palatable.

It isn’t essential to confession to say how long it has been, and lots of Novus Ordo priests probably dont even expect it.

It’s nice to have a good, gentle, devout priest who can hear how short a time it has been and not judge (either condemningly, or worrying that you are scrupulous) and who knows how to use the information to monitor your spiritual growth wisely…

But if it is going to just make it more awkward and you’ve learned that particular statistic isn’t going to help him help you any better…then I’d just leave it out.

 

[wynd]

Why not just go to another parish for confession?

 

[RosalieM]

When I first returned to the Church, I wanted to confess once a week until a priest got angry with me. He scolded me with, “What could you have possibly done in a week?” This happened twice; so I started going once a month, then once every 3 weeks, then 2 weeks. When I went to the same priest after two weeks, he tolerated it.
I love the sacrament of reconciliation and the grace it gives me not to seriously mess up. I work in a super-secular law firm in super-secular san francisco and I do so need the grace! We’re encouraged to confess our venial sins and faults, after all, even though it may not be pressing. I also love to make confession as one of the requirements in receiving plenary indulgences.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

In support of your practice, the following [emphasis added] is from the book Frequent Confession: Its Place in the Spiritual Life by Benedict Baur, O.S.B. (Scepter Publishers):

In a famous passage of the 1943 encyclical on the Mystical Body of Christ … Pope Pius XII warned about “the opinions of those who assert that little importance should be given to the frequent confession of venial sins.” He stated in very clear words that “to ensure more rapid progress day by day in the path of virtue, we will that the pious practice of frequent confession, which was introduced into the Church by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, should be earnestly advocated.” He cited some of the benefits to be derived from it: “Genuine self-knowledge is increased, Christian humility grows, bad habits are corrected, spiritual neglect and tepidity are resisted, the conscience is purified, the will strengthened, a salutary self-control is attained, and grace is increased in virtue of the sacrament itself.” …

In one of his homilies Monsignor [Saint Josemaría] Escrivá de Balaguer said: “… To win the battles of the soul, the best strategy often is to bide one’s time and apply the suitable remedy with patience and perseverance … Our all-powerful and merciful Lord has granted us the precise means with which to conquer. As I have already mentioned, all we have to do is to use them, resolving to begin again and again at every moment, should it prove necessary. I would like to see you going to the holy sacrament of Penance, the sacrament of divine forgiveness, every week, and indeed whenever you need it, without giving in to scruples. Clothed in grace, we can cross mountains (cf. Ps 103:10), and climb the hill of our Christian duty, without halting on the way.”

So you have both a Pope (speaking for the Church) and a saint on your side.

I am sure you are aware that if you keep your confessions brief and to the point, you will avoid the risk of “wearing out” your confessor or wasting his time. Counseling sessions should be done by appointment.

 

[Catholig]

God gave me a devout, holy traditional priest with whom I began to see for weekly Confession, interspersed with a more liberal priest, who nonethless tolerates weekly Confession. Everything was great until we got a "progressive"pastor who sent my devout priest back to Africa. The pastor discourages weekly confession, as does the pastor of a nearby parish. I am not scrupulous, as my tolerant confessor (and my African one) never implied it. In fact, my African priest even warned me at my last confession with him, that other people (did he mean other priests?) would criticize my devotion to receiving this sacrament. My question to you: What can you say instead of those words “It has been a week since my. . .” I think that when some priests here them, they immediately think that the penitent is scrupulous. (The two priests who discouraged frequent confession had never met me before, and my sins were at a similar level to what my usual priests had heard. ) Anything I can say besides “a week?” Recently I saw the pastor again in Confession, said “a few weeks,” and he was just fine with that! Yes, it was deceitful of me and I am remorseful, but it was a disaster the one other time I saw him. I feel that if I could just avoid saying “a week,” the priest could relax and hear my confession without worrying that he has a scrupulous penitent, and I could continue on in striving for holiness, without worrying that the priest will be annoyed that I’m wasting my (or his) time!

Fivegoldenrings,

The amount of time between confessions should be mentioned. It is important, because it helps the priest decide what penance is necessary and helps him learn about your soul. Just as a doctor needs to know how long since your last check up &c so does the priest.

And also I feel bound to tell you that considering the importance of letting the priest know the exact time between confession you shouldn’t have said a “few weeks” that was 1) a lie and possibly sacrelige, because it was the holy spirit that you were deceiving. You may not have known this, so that lessens the gravity of the sin, but if feel that it would be prudent to assume that you at least meant to deceive. And I kind of think that that would invalidate your last confession.

My humble opinion is that you should go to confession as soon as possible and confession lying about how long it had been since your last confession. And from there you could tell the priest that you feel that weekly confession is good for your soul. Don’t ultimatum the priest or anything, but explain honestly your position. Then I’d reconfess my last confession & I would include any “new” sins.

Also if I think it may be prudent to abstain from receiving until you have made this confession.

Catholig

 

[Catholig]

When I first returned to the Church, I wanted to confess once a week until a priest got angry with me. He scolded me with, “What could you have possibly done in a week?” This happened twice; so I started going once a month, then once every 3 weeks, then 2 weeks. When I went to the same priest after two weeks, he tolerated it.
I love the sacrament of reconciliation and the grace it gives me not to seriously mess up. I work in a super-secular law firm in super-secular san francisco and I do so need the grace! We’re encouraged to confess our venial sins and faults, after all, even though it may not be pressing. I also love to make confession as one of the requirements in receiving plenary indulgences.

Rosalie, again I’d just explain your situation w/ charity and go weekly. The priest doesn’t have to like that you come weekly - he just has to listen, and absolve you of your sins (providing of course that he doesn’t think you insincere or anything).

Catholig

 

[Catholig]

“My last confession was last week.” Who knows, that could be 7 days or 13 days.

Again, I wouldn’t recommend this. When you are in the confessional you are talking to your creator, you should talk to him sincerely and not try to misrepresent yourself to him or to the priest.

Catholig

 

[JesusSaves17]

Again, I wouldn’t recommend this. When you are in the confessional you are talking to your creator, you should talk to him sincerely and not try to misrepresent yourself to him or to the priest.

Catholig

so if it’s been 5 days since your last confession, you recommend we should say “it’s been 5 days” instead of “my last confession was last week”? They’re both true.

 

[LilyM]

so if it’s been 5 days since your last confession, you recommend we should say “it’s been 5 days” instead of “my last confession was last week”? They’re both true.

You’re talking to God - it behooves you to be very honest, regardless of what the priest may think of you. If you shy away from rightly naming the number of days, are you going to sugarcoat some of your sins too?

I too have had one or two experiences with priests who don’t like weekly confession. I stuck up for myself and was at least tolerated.

A nice comment to make to your confession-shy priest might be something like ‘you wouldn’t tell me to brush my teeth or shower less than once a week, would you? Isn’t the state of my soul more important than my body?’ or some such.

 

[StephanieC]

You may have already read this, but in one of Karl Keating’s e-letters he addresses a similar issue; that of a priest asking him “Why are you wasting my time?” when Mr. Keating was confessing “only” venial sins.
I thought I would include it here b/c his response to the priest & explanation in the e-letter would also seem appropriate for your situation.

 

[thechrismyster]

don’t hide who you are.

say what you want and forget what people ‘think’ about you. Peoples opinions are among the least important things in our lives.

Confession is between you and God.

 

[JesusSaves17]

I don’t even do it as a way of “hiding” anything, I’m just talking about the simplicity of saying “a week” or “last week” instead of counting the days.

 

[Catholig]

I don’t even do it as a way of “hiding” anything, I’m just talking about the simplicity of saying “a week” or “last week” instead of counting the days.

Then you are being honest and meaning it not to deceive but to “simplify”. To suggest the OP to do it to deceive or (just as bad) to get into a habit of doing it for simplicity with the “added bonus” of misleading his confessor is wrong.

Catholig

 

[Petergee]

The pastor discourages weekly confession, as does the pastor of a nearby parish.

Good grief! Do they also discourage those people who can from coming to Mass each day, because they only HAVE to come on Sundays?
Have they actually said to you that weekly confession is too often, or is thas just the vibe you feel from them? Or have they told you that they think you are scrupulous?
The Servant of God John Paul II confessed each week. If a saintly man like him can benefit from the graces of this sacrament each week, I’m sure the rest of us could also benefit.

I feel that if I could just avoid saying  "a week," the priest could relax and  hear my confession without worrying that he has a scrupulous penitent, and I could continue on in striving for holiness, without worrying that the priest will be annoyed that I'm wasting my (or his) time!

Don’t worry about him being annoyed. His sacred duty is to make himself available regularly for confessions.

 

[DB_AND_ALI]

When I first returned to the Church, I wanted to confess once a week until a priest got angry with me. He scolded me with, “What could you have possibly done in a week?” This happened twice; so I started going once a month, then once every 3 weeks, then 2 weeks. When I went to the same priest after two weeks, he tolerated it.
I love the sacrament of reconciliation and the grace it gives me not to seriously mess up. I work in a super-secular law firm in super-secular san francisco and I do so need the grace! We’re encouraged to confess our venial sins and faults, after all, even though it may not be pressing. I also love to make confession as one of the requirements in receiving plenary indulgences.

Wow and i thought the church had changed…??? Perhaps you should come and live here in Africa , because i can assure you if a priest was out of line out here [on this issue] he would be asked to explain himself ! I can’t think of any priest in our area who would even dream of asking a remorseful soul why he/she insists on attending confession once a week…they are full of love and compassion and have really helped people to want to go to confession. Keep looking until you find the priest you deserve…

 

[fivegoldenrings]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! A great blessing in this, besides meeting you humorous and consoling folks, is that when I spoke to my “tolerant” Confessor about it, I found out that he is more supportive of what I’m doing than I originally thought. God bless you all!