It has been a while

  • Thread starter Thread starter MotherofMany
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

MotherofMany

Guest
hello!
i havent been here in ages…last time i posted, i had just become a member of the catholic church. well, sad to say that i havent attended in a long time. shortly after easter, we found out that our youngest child was disabled…we found out he is deaf, mentally retarded, and we had to eventually get a feeding tube put in due to his oral aversions/inability to eat solid food. he also has a sleep disorder that basically means that he is up most of the night, and then off and on after that…its like having a newborn for the past 2 and a half years. he has been diagnosed with moebius syndrome, but they also think he has other genetic issues going on, but we dont know yet. i was so upset. you see, every time i had taken rcia, something bad happened without fail. i was joking with our priest about how we got through this unscathed, and i just lost it when we found all of this out. we knew that he was a bit delayed, but we had hoped it was nothing major. i went into a horrible depression and i am still struggling with it to this day. honestly, any encouragement would be welcome, and advice on how to start attending mass again maybe? its just been so hard. i just feel so sad for my little boy and my husband and i arent getting along either.
here is a picture of my sweet little francis.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
I have prayed for you. Please keep the Faith. You and your husband are heroes.
 
One of the great things God offers us, if we keep our Faith in Him, is the the strength to endure. The more things are difficult, the more we need God.

Attending Mass, receiving the Holy Eucharist, and frequent Confession are quite essential to keeping our Faith in Him.

Perhaps you can work out a schedule where you get that 2 hour break to attend Mass (get there, Mass, come home) every Sunday alone or with just one or two of the older children. Trying to attend every Sunday with all nine in the family may be too much and very little peace for you.

Talk with your husband and then a priest and see what can be done to maintain your Faith.

LIke others, I will also keep you in my prayers.
 
Awwww, what a sweetie! I love the blue glasses.

I will add you to my prayers. Don’t give up, Francis needs you to be his advocate!

And Welcome Home!!!

:love:
 
God bless you for returning to CAF, and thankyou for posting!

I feel so much for you and the saga with your little boy - at first there was some concern, and before you got used to that, there was more concern, and then more… Sadly, worries and sorrows sometimes come to us like this. 😦

Sometimes, it seems the only way forward is to to just trust that God loves us, and he loves the ones we care about too.
 
He is a little precious child. Please keep in mind the following verses as you meditate. Your child has a special gift to do the Lord’s work, and to be innocent like the Lord, and glorify the Lord through him.

[BIBLEDRB]John 9:1-3[/BIBLEDRB]
 
Dear OP, I hope you can get back to Mass, it will give you strength, and your church family should be a help to you in your life. If I lived nearby I would be glad to watch Francis or any of your other children while you and your husband go to Mass. I hope there are people who will help you in whatever way you need.
 
The_Scott said:
He is a little precious child. Please keep in mind the following verses as you meditate. Your child has a special gift to do the Lord’s work, and to be innocent like the Lord, and glorify the Lord through him.

[BIBLEDRB]John 9:1-3[/BIBLEDRB]
Click to expand...
Beautiful…👍

Peace
James
 
Dear one,
I have started several thoughts and sentences…My heart is so full of Love and admiration for you and your family. Yet I don’t want to give the “same old advice” or encouragement that you have heard many times before. Not is it bad, just repetitive…yes?

Something caught my eye in your post…about every time you started RCIA something happened bad happened. I thought…the devil must really not have wanted them to come into the Church…but then, when you described your son and shared the picture, there can be no doubt but that he is a blessing to you…even though his care is also a cross.

It is amazing how God’s grace can turn something bad into something so precious and memorable and sanctifying to those with the hutzpa to embrace it. I know this because I too am a caregiver - in my case to my wife who has dementia.
As caregivers we have the opportunity to learn more about Love, patience, forbearance, forgiveness and many other virtues, than we could learn in a lifetime of “normal” living.

I note that your little guy has 5 siblings…I bet he is the joy of them all…

The only advice I can give is to do all that you can to fill your home with Love and laughter. Nothing lightens a burden like laughter. Even laughter at things that only the family would understand…and that most other people would not find funny…Care giving affords many of those sorts of opportunities…It’s not unloving…It’s uplifting.

Also - as someone else mentioned, please do try to get back to Mass. The graces available through the Eucharist are tremendous.

Peace
James
 
Please, go to Mass again.

Do it for the sake of your little one.

Confess and receive the Holy Eucharist, and offer yourself and all you are feeling to God for the sake of your little ones, especially of Francis.

I know you always want to do the best for your family and your little ones, even if this means a huge sacrifice. So I know, in the bottom of my heart, that you will be soon receiving the Holy Eucharist again.

Remember, sister, that this life is so short…and the soul, the soul is what truly matters…that infinite, eternal soul, in the image and likeness of God Almighty…and the soul of your baby is pristine and pure, after Baptism, like that of the Blessed Virgin…I would bend my knee before little Francis…and we know that the body shall be glorified in the Resurrection and delivered from all imperfections…I can already see him, one day, before the very throne of God Almighty, greater than many of the greatest saints in glory and honor!
 
Run back to Mass like a jet-propelled arrow!

It is the closest we can get to Heaven while still on earth.

Jesus knows exactly what you are going through. I don’t; I can’t because I’m not you. But Jesus does. He saw it and felt it on the Cross. Run to Him in the Sacrament!

“…every time i had taken rcia, something bad happened without fail.” Satan attacks those who want to be Catholics - just ask me! I used to get sick, nasty sick, every Saturday afternoon, in time to miss the Vigil Mass - and it would clear up right after the last Sunday Mass was over.

No, satan didn’t send you your sweet little Francis (who I want to hug!). But he’s sure to use the circumstances to try to pull you away. So tell him to go play in traffic.

I suggest the St. Michael prayer:
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
Click to expand...
It works for me!

Praying for you and yours,
 
thank you all so much, and thank you for those verses!!!
im just so overwhelmed…i feel like im grieving. i love my francis so very much, but its so hard. he is like an infant…every month he falls further behind, and im just so angry!! its silly, but i just feel so guilty. i am going to mass this sunday, and of course frank will be there…we took him to the blessing of the sick and dying to be blessed by our bishop, and it made me feel even more sad, somehow! ugh. i hope i can get through this. this has to be the hardest thing ive ever dealt with…never ever have i had this level of sadness in my life. what makes it harder is that he doesnt even have something that is common, like down syndrome…then i could at least relate to other people, and have something in common…he is a mystery to the geneticist, and to us. the moebius syndrome explains a lot, but he doesnt even have the typical moebius syndrome.
sorry for rambling, i just had to get this off my chest…thank you all SO VERY MUCH.
 
JRKH;9907391 said:
nope, he has 6!!! 😃

and thank you for your words…i am sure you can relate to this, for sure…it just seems so hard, sometimes!!
Click to expand...
 
MotherofMany said:
thank you all so much, and thank you for those verses!!!
im just so overwhelmed…i feel like im grieving. i love my francis so very much, but its so hard. he is like an infant…every month he falls further behind, and im just so angry!! its silly, but i just feel so guilty. i am going to mass this sunday, and of course frank will be there…we took him to the blessing of the sick and dying to be blessed by our bishop, and it made me feel even more sad, somehow! ugh. i hope i can get through this. this has to be the hardest thing ive ever dealt with…never ever have i had this level of sadness in my life. what makes it harder is that he doesnt even have something that is common, like down syndrome…then i could at least relate to other people, and have something in common…he is a mystery to the geneticist, and to us. the moebius syndrome explains a lot, but he doesnt even have the typical moebius syndrome.
sorry for rambling, i just had to get this off my chest…thank you all SO VERY MUCH.
Click to expand...
Thankyou for rambling! Keep it going… 🙂

You might find some consolation in the story of how Ugo Festa was crippled with multiple ailments, and was healed by praying to Sr Faustina and the Divine Mercy.

Praying for you and Francis, and your family.
 
MotherofMany said:
thank you all so much, and thank you for those verses!!!
im just so overwhelmed…i feel like im grieving. i love my francis so very much, but its so hard. he is like an infant…every month he falls further behind, and im just so angry!! its silly, but i just feel so guilty. i am going to mass this sunday, and of course frank will be there…we took him to the blessing of the sick and dying to be blessed by our bishop, and it made me feel even more sad, somehow! ugh. i hope i can get through this. this has to be the hardest thing ive ever dealt with…never ever have i had this level of sadness in my life. what makes it harder is that he doesnt even have something that is common, like down syndrome…then i could at least relate to other people, and have something in common…he is a mystery to the geneticist, and to us. the moebius syndrome explains a lot, but he doesnt even have the typical moebius syndrome.
sorry for rambling, i just had to get this off my chest…thank you all SO VERY MUCH.
Click to expand...
I have never been through what you are going through. But I have heard from others who have had a child with serious disabilities, that this phase passes eventually. You have to grieve for the child you expected, and pretty much grieve over every part of life that he WON’T experience. It takes some time. But once you more or less finish, then you can accept and love and enjoy Francis as he is, with no expectations of a “normal” life. At least that is what I have been told, by parents who have gone through it. I am hoping one of those parents will find this thread and talk to you about it.

You are NOT alone in this, even if it seems so! Aren’t there parent support groups for Moebius Syndrome on-line? I know it’s rare but thank God for the internet! Or, there are agencies that support parents of very seriously disabled children. Use every resource you can!

God bless you dear sister in Christ. You and your family will be in my prayers.
 
MotherofMany said:
thank you all so much, and thank you for those verses!!!
im just so overwhelmed…i feel like im grieving. i love my francis so very much, but its so hard. he is like an infant…every month he falls further behind, and im just so angry!! its silly, but i just feel so guilty. i am going to mass this sunday, and of course frank will be there…we took him to the blessing of the sick and dying to be blessed by our bishop, and it made me feel even more sad, somehow! ugh. i hope i can get through this. this has to be the hardest thing ive ever dealt with…never ever have i had this level of sadness in my life. what makes it harder is that he doesnt even have something that is common, like down syndrome…then i could at least relate to other people, and have something in common…he is a mystery to the geneticist, and to us. the moebius syndrome explains a lot, but he doesnt even have the typical moebius syndrome.
sorry for rambling, i just had to get this off my chest…thank you all SO VERY MUCH.
Click to expand...
I’m so glad that our words have been an encouragement to you. It seems to me that this is one of the reasons Christ founded a “church”, that is a community, so that we don’t have to go through such things alone.
So you come and “get it off your chest” as often as necessary.
MotherofMany said:
nope, he has 6!!! 😃

and thank you for your words…i am sure you can relate to this, for sure…it just seems so hard, sometimes!!
Click to expand...
oops…my bad. Six siblings. I hope that each and every one embraces their blessed brother for this little one can be the locus of so much learning and sharing and growth in Love and family…
Yes I can relate, though I would not be so foolish as to say I “understand”. To have such a little one cannot help but be heart wrenching.

Some years back I saw a movie called Shadowlands. A line from that movie stuck with me…“The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
It struck me because it speaks to the totality of our experiences in this world. Yes we suffer and get angry and we ask why, and we we want to lash out…to DO something…even though we are already doing all we can.
But…we must be careful not to lose the totality of the experience. The joys the laughter - the Love - exchanged within the whole of the family.
Happiness and sorrow, joy and pain, are interconnected and all work for the Glory of God when seen in the totality of God’s Love.

Peace
James
 
All I can say, MotherofMany, is how very, very proud I am of you for sticking to it, joining the Church, and just…being a mom. My mom is the strongest and best person I have ever known, and she’s gone through a lot and suffered a lot of sad times and depression, like you. Please, don’t give up. I will be praying for your entire family, ma’am.

Super-proud of you. You remind me of my Mom, and I can give you no higher praise.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top