It is the faith--not the institution--that is important

[fastenatingguy]

So I posted several days ago that my best friend (divorced) is getting remarried without seeking an annulment. He is concerned about the message that the annulment could send to his two daughters, that they might think of themselves as illegitimate or “of less value” because of his “do-over”.

I have contacted his favorite priest who was one of our teachers back in high school and who concelebrated his wedding thirty years ago. I hope that he can be helpful in this situation.

In the meantime my friend said that he and his bride-to-be will eventually search for a NCC church that is as close to RC as possible, but where their marriage can be accepted.

He already knows that leaving the Church and the sacraments is wrong, but said “the faith is more important than the institution” to which I said “they are inseparable”.

HELP! How can I guide him, or should I?

 

[GusIsAGirl]

How old are the daughters? My answer will be based on whether they are minor children or not.

 

[Lancer]

CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
SECOND EDITION

II. THE CHURCH - BODY OF CHRIST

The Church is communion with Jesus

787 From the beginning, Jesus associated his disciples with his own life, revealed the mystery of the Kingdom to them, and gave them a share in his mission, joy, and sufferings.215 Jesus spoke of a still more intimate communion between him and those who would follow him: "Abide in me, and I in you. . . . I am the vine, you are the branches."216 And he proclaimed a mysterious and real communion between his own body and ours: "He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him."217

788 When his visible presence was taken from them, Jesus did not leave his disciples orphans. He promised to remain with them until the end of time; he sent them his Spirit.218 As a result communion with Jesus has become, in a way, more intense: "By communicating his Spirit, Christ mystically constitutes as his body those brothers of his who are called together from every nation."219

789 The comparison of the Church with the body casts light on the intimate bond between Christ and his Church. Not only is she gathered around him; she is united in him, in his body. Three aspects of the Church as the Body of Christ are to be more specifically noted: the unity of all her members with each other as a result of their union with Christ; Christ as head of the Body; and the Church as bride of Christ.

**“One Body”
**
790 Believers who respond to God’s word and become members of Christ’s Body, become intimately united with him: "In that body the life of Christ is communicated to those who believe, and who, through the sacraments, are united in a hidden and real way to Christ in his Passion and glorification."220 This is especially true of Baptism, which unites us to Christ’s death and Resurrection, and the Eucharist, by which "really sharing in the body of the Lord, . . . we are taken up into communion with him and with one another."221

791 The body’s unity does not do away with the diversity of its members: "In the building up of Christ’s Body there is engaged a diversity of members and functions. There is only one Spirit who, according to his own richness and the needs of the ministries, gives his different gifts for the welfare of the Church."222 The unity of the Mystical Body produces and stimulates charity among the faithful: "From this it follows that if one member suffers anything, all the members suffer with him, and if one member is honored, all the members together rejoice."223 Finally, the unity of the Mystical Body triumphs over all human divisions: "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."224

"Christ is the Head of this Body"

792 Christ "is the head of the body, the Church."225 He is the principle of creation and redemption. Raised to the Father’s glory, "in everything he [is] preeminent,"226 especially in the Church, through whom he extends his reign over all things.

793 Christ unites us with his Passover: all his members must strive to resemble him, “until Christ be formed” in them.227 "For this reason we . . . are taken up into the mysteries of his life, . . . associated with his sufferings as the body with its head, suffering with him, that with him we may be glorified."228

794 Christ provides for our growth: to make us grow toward him, our head,229 he provides in his Body, the Church, the gifts and assistance by which we help one another along the way of salvation.

795 Christ and his Church thus together make up the “whole Christ” (Christus totus). The Church is one with Christ. The saints are acutely aware of this unity:

Let us rejoice then and give thanks that we have become not only Christians, but Christ himself. Do you understand and grasp, brethren, God’s grace toward us? Marvel and rejoice: we have become Christ. For if he is the head, we are the members; he and we together are the whole man. . . . The fullness of Christ then is the head and the members. But what does “head and members” mean? Christ and the Church.230
​

Our redeemer has shown himself to be one person with the holy Church whom he has taken to himself.231

Head and members form as it were one and the same mystical person.232

A reply of St. Joan of Arc to her judges sums up the faith of the holy doctors and the good sense of the believer: "About Jesus Christ and the Church, I simply know they’re just one thing, and we shouldn’t complicate the matter."233

 

[EasterJoy]

So I posted several days ago that my best friend (divorced) is getting remarried without seeking an annulment. He is concerned about the message that the annulment could send to his two daughters, that they might think of themselves as illegitimate or “of less value” because of his “do-over”.

I have contacted his favorite priest who was one of our teachers back in high school and who concelebrated his wedding thirty years ago. I hope that he can be helpful in this situation.

In the meantime my friend said that he and his bride-to-be will eventually search for a NCC church that is as close to RC as possible, but where their marriage can be accepted.

He already knows that leaving the Church and the sacraments is wrong, but said “the faith is more important than the institution” to which I said “they are inseparable”.

HELP! How can I guide him, or should I?

If he is Catholic, he needs to instruct himself and his children about what it does and does not mean when a good faith attempt at marriage does not result in a valid marriage. What on earth message he could think that a decree of nullity sends that is somehow worse than the message sent by his unfortunate divorce, I don’t know. I would guess, however, that he has some misconceptions around the issue, such as the common misconception that the children of a marriage that was later found null are illegitimate. That is not true.

He ought to learn the truth, and then he’ll know what kind of message he’s *really *sending. Having him talk to the priest is a good idea!

 

[fastenatingguy]

How old are the daughters? My answer will be based on whether they are minor children or not.

Thank you for responding. His daughters are 24 and 21 and live independently of their parents
in two different states.

 

[fastenatingguy]

If he is Catholic, he needs to instruct himself and his children about what it does and does not mean when a good faith attempt at marriage does not result in a valid marriage. What on earth message he could think that a decree of nullity sends that is somehow worse than the message sent by his unfortunate divorce, I don’t know. I would guess, however, that he has some misconceptions around the issue, such as the common misconception that the children of a marriage that was later found null are illegitimate. That is not true.

He ought to learn the truth, and then he’ll know what kind of message he’s *really *sending. Having him talk to the priest is a good idea!

EJ,

Yes he is a cradle Catholic, still attending mass, but not receiving Communion. His bride to be is also cradle Catholic, attends mass with him, and she has never married.

 

[fastenatingguy]

Lancer:
Lancer,

I think this means you agree with me that Faith and the Catholic Church are inseparable.

FG

 

[DAML72]

Thank you for responding. His daughters are 24 and 21 and live independently of their parents
in two different states.

Have you asked him why he divorced his wife? Isn’t that the bigger question here?

Never mind - I read the story. The fiance is pregnant? What a mess. Honestly, I think that you should point out the teaching of the church on marriage and just let it be. I’m sorry to say, but I think that he’s going to have to figure this all by himself in his own time. Just pray for him - he’s going to need it!

 

[fastenatingguy]

Have you asked him why he divorced his wife? Isn’t that the bigger question here?

Never mind - I read the story. The fiance is pregnant? What a mess. Honestly, I think that you should point out the teaching of the church on marriage and just let it be. I’m sorry to say, but I think that he’s going to have to figure this all by himself in his own time. Just pray for him - he’s going to need it!

I will pray for him, and thank you