It just didn't feel right

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Catholic_Wife

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Please forgive me if I sound crazy, but I just have to get this off of my chest before I explode. :o

Last Wednesday afternoon, I felt drawn to stop by the chapel at our parish and pray before the tabernacle for a while. I didn’t have a headscarf with me like I do when I know I am going to Mass, and things just didn’t feel right. I was distracted and felt uneasy the entire time. I got cancelled at work this past Saturday night, so I wore “real” clothes to Mass instead of a uniform. Although I wore my hair braided and bunned, I didn’t wear a headscarf as usual since all of my headscarves coordinate with my uniforms and I have none that go with my “real” clothes. Again, I was distracted and felt uneasy. Although I was modestly dressed both times (long pants, shirts that showed no cleavage and were down to my elbows, etc.), I somehow felt “naked”. Covering my head is something I’ve been doing since the beginning of the year.

Has this become some sort of habit (not that kind of habit), or could that uneasy feeling be God’s way of telling me to keep doing what I’m doing? Has anyone else ever felt like this???

BTW, I now have a plain black headscarf in my car … just in case.
 
Catholic_Wife said:
Please forgive me if I sound crazy, but I just have to get this off of my chest before I explode. :o

Last Wednesday afternoon, I felt drawn to stop by the chapel at our parish and pray before the tabernacle for a while. I didn’t have a headscarf with me like I do when I know I am going to Mass, and things just didn’t feel right. I was distracted and felt uneasy the entire time. I got cancelled at work this past Saturday night, so I wore “real” clothes to Mass instead of a uniform. Although I wore my hair braided and bunned, I didn’t wear a headscarf as usual since all of my headscarves coordinate with my uniforms and I have none that go with my “real” clothes. Again, I was distracted and felt uneasy. Although I was modestly dressed both times (long pants, shirts that showed no cleavage and were down to my elbows, etc.), I somehow felt “naked”. Covering my head is something I’ve been doing since the beginning of the year.

Has this become some sort of habit (not that kind of habit), or could that uneasy feeling be God’s way of telling me to keep doing what I’m doing? Has anyone else ever felt like this???

BTW, I now have a plain black headscarf in my car … just in case.
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I think you are overreacting.

You’ve done nothing wrong. You chose to wear a head scarf because YOU wanted to; not because the Church requires you to. Yours was an impromptu visit and you were unprepared in your attire.

If it concerns you that much, keeping a spare head scarf in your car is a good idea. But I don’t think you’ve done anything that warrants confessions.
 
If this is the only problem you have. Your probably overreacting.
 
I think it’s perfectly normal to feel “naked” when you’re accustomed to a very particular item in a very particular setting and circumstance.

Not to detract from your experience, when I was younger for a while I wore a baseball cap everywhere I went. Always. And I distinctly remember when I stopped wearing it, how I felt very similar feelings to what you experienced.
 
I wear a veil when I go to adoration. Let me be clear. I am one of the last women in the world you would expect to wear one. But, for a period of many months a few years ago, I felt strange when I whenever I was in adoration. Like there was much light shining on me even though it is fairly dark in there. I finally gave in and started wearing a veil and was much more at peace.

I do not wear one to mass, but will if and when I fell the need to do so. I think it is the proximity to our Lord when in the chapel that makes me feel this way. Some time later I read Isaiah 6:2 where he speaks of how the angels cover their faces and feet when in the presence of the Lord. That spoke to me as to the reason I felt compelled to wear the veil.
 
I think the other posters are correct, you did nothing inherently wrong.

Having said that, why did you choose to start wearing a head covering? If you made a private vow to God to wear it, or if you offered to wear it as a “gift” to him (I’m doing this for you Lord), maybe the feeling of discomfort was a gentle nudge from him (or your own conscience) reminding you of your offer. I may be way off track, but that’s just an idea that came to me when I read your post.
 
Two things come to my mind as I read this.

It may be God’s way of confirming that He has led you to wear a veil. Not to make you uncomfortable when you don’t have one with you, but to encourage you to continue.

The second thing is something I read a while back from a woman who had felt led to wear a veil and did it faithfully. But one day she stood outside the sanctuary, wanting to go in but she felt unable/unworthy to because she didn’t have her veil. A priest was nearby and encouraged her to enter but she said, “I can’t! I don’t have my veil!” The look on his face told her that she was placing too much importance on the veil, placing it above being in His presence when she clearly felt compelled to go.

Just some thoughts … saying a prayer for the LORD to help you discern!
 
Many years ago when I was just a young child my parents and I went to the New York Worlds Fair.
While in New York we did sight seeing other than the world fair. One of the places my protestant parents took me was St. Patricks Cathedral. Now, this was before Vat. 2 and a woman’s head had to be covered.
It was very common for the women to put kleenex on their heads as a covering since those of us prots didn’t own a veil or a head covering of any kind. And no, it was not disrespectful, thousands of people went there daily and there was no way the cathedral could provide head coverings for everyone.

I guess my point is this, you don’t need a veil or a piece of lace to put on your head, most anything will work. It doesn’t have to coordinate with your clothes. And it can be disposable or used as a temporary head covering, a piece of cloth etc.

And knowing that women no longer have to cover their heads when in the Catholic church, I think you are putting way too much into a head covering.
I’m not saying never wear one, that’s fine, but if you don’t have one with you, it doesn’t make you any less close to God or any less respectful of God or Jesus.
Lighten up and go with the flow.
 
Let me add a couple of things. First, I believe the first three responses you received were from men. I think it is unlikely that a man would have such an experience. Second, I agree that it is likely the Lord was trying to tell you that he approved of your headcovering. I also agree with the others who have said that you should not let lack of a headcovering prevent you from going to mass or adoration. I have found myself in that situation before – where I felt compelled to go into adoration but, because it was unplanned, I didn’t have a veil with me. I felt strange, but I went anyway and said: “I am sorry my Lord that my head is not covered, but I felt that I needed to see you today even though I don’t have my veil. Please forgive me”. The feelings passed. As others have noted, it isn’t a sin not to wear a veil. But, I do believe the Lord asks some of us to do this. I am not sure why, but in my case I believe it has to do with the need to show my love through obedience.

I have heard of the kleenex thing before, but I don’t think I could bring myself to do that. I am pretty sure that would attract unnecessary attention in my parish! 🙂
 
Yes, I do believe the first posters may have been men. It has taken me several hours to come back to respond because I felt as if they were treating me like some sort of hysterical female by saying I was “overreacting”. :mad: Maybe this is a matter that my husband - and other men - just don’t understand… 🤷

Just to be clear (yes, I am shouting): :okpeople:
NO, I DO NOT BELIEVE I WAS SOMEHOW SINNING BY NOT WEARING A HEADSCARF AS I TYPICALLY DO TO MASS, NOR DO I BELIEVE THIS IS A MATTER THAT I NEED TO TAKE TO CONFESSION.

I felt called by God to cover almost 15 years ago. I did for the longest time, until I became a cantor a few years ago (something that God also spoke clearly to me about). When I started cantoring, my pastor at the time asked me NOT to cover as he thought it was a distraction to the congregation. I hated having to choose between two things I felt called to do, but out of obedience to my priest I stopped covering when I cantored. However, I felt like a hypocrite because I didn’t cover all the time, so I stopped wearing my headscarf to Mass altogether. Does this make sense??? 🤷

I asked our new pastor last year whether he would mind me wearing a headscarf when I cantor or help distribute Communion. He said he doesn’t mind - and since I still feel called to cover as well as cantor - I have become comfortable being able to do both since the beginning of the year. At first, it was going to be just an “Advent / Christmas thing” - a gift of sorts to God. Then it turned into a “Lent thing”. However, our pastor asked in one of his homilies around Ash Wednesday if the changes we were making for Lent were just temporary or if we planned to make them more permanent changes in our lives. It was kinda like God asking if I was ready to make this permanent.
WaitingForJesus said:
I also agree with the others who have said that you should not let lack of a headcovering prevent you from going to mass or adoration. I have found myself in that situation before – where I felt compelled to go into adoration but, because it was unplanned, I didn’t have a veil with me. I felt strange, but I went anyway and said: "I am sorry my Lord that my head is not covered, but I felt that I needed to see you today even though I don’t have my veil. Please forgive me"
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This is almost verbatim what I said last week when I stopped by the chapel. I won’t let a lack of a head cover keep me from going; but it sure makes it awkward and uncomfortable for me, so I will keep a plain headscarf in my car … just in case.
I do believe the Lord asks some of us to do this. I am not sure why, but in my case I believe it has to do with the need to show my love through obedience.
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I sure wish God would explain it to me…
 
gh4 said:
I guess my point is this, you don’t need a veil or a piece of lace to put on your head, most anything will work. It doesn’t have to coordinate with your clothes.
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And it can be disposable or used as a temporary head covering, a piece of cloth etc.
If you knew me, and what it was like for me in my childhood, you would know this is not true. Some things are so deeply ingrained that they take a lifetime to get rid of, and I’m not dead … yet. :cool:
And knowing that women no longer have to cover their heads when in the Catholic church, I think you are putting way too much into a head covering.
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I’m not saying never wear one, that’s fine, but if you don’t have one with you, it doesn’t make you any less close to God or any less respectful of God or Jesus.
Lighten up and go with the flow.
Is there anything that you feel called by God to do? If someone told you that you need to “lighten up and go with the flow” when it comes to the Sunday obligation (or whatever you feel led by God to do), how would you feel???

Please do not discount my beliefs and feelings. Just as some feel it’s disrespectful to God to wear anything less formal than a suit and tie, or a “nice” dress, to Mass, it does feel disrespectful - to me - for me not to cover my head during Mass and adoration. I feel that I should have my head covered when I come before the Lord in the Eucharist. (And, no, I do not believe this is for all women.)
 
Catholic_Wife said:
If you knew me, and what it was like for me in my childhood, you would know this is not true. Some things are so deeply ingrained that they take a lifetime to get rid of, and I’m not dead … yet. :cool:

Is there anything that you feel called by God to do? If someone told you that you need to “lighten up and go with the flow” when it comes to the Sunday obligation (or whatever you feel led by God to do), how would you feel???

**Pretty much, no. 🙂 **

Please do not discount my beliefs and feelings. Just as some feel it’s disrespectful to God to wear anything less formal than a suit and tie, or a “nice” dress, to Mass, it does feel disrespectful - to me - for me not to cover my head during Mass and adoration. I feel that I should have my head covered when I come before the Lord in the Eucharist. (And, no, I do not believe this is for all women.)
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Didn’t mean to be disrespectful to you at all.
I went to a VERY small parish and only one person has recently taken to veiling about half way through mass. No one quite understands why she is doing this, but hey, it’s no one’s business so they just let her do what she feels that she needs to do.

Again, I am sorry if I stepped on your feelings. Please forgive me.
 
gh4 said:
Didn’t mean to be disrespectful to you at all.
I went to a VERY small parish and only one person has recently taken to veiling about half way through mass. No one quite understands why she is doing this, but hey, it’s no one’s business so they just let her do what she feels that she needs to do.
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I would imagine she is veiling right before the consecration. It is during the consecration that Christ becomes present with the priest at the alter. There are some women who will veil at this time and for communion.
 
Catholic_Wife said:
Yes, I do believe the first posters may have been men. It has taken me several hours to come back to respond because I felt as if they were treating me like some sort of hysterical female by saying I was “overreacting”. :mad: Maybe this is a matter that my husband - and other men - just don’t understand… 🤷

…I felt like a hypocrite because I didn’t cover all the time, so I stopped wearing my headscarf to Mass altogether. Does this make sense??? 🤷

I sure wish God would explain it to me…
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Well one thing I know for sure is that the Lord isn’t going to ask a man to wear a veil. :rotfl: It’s funny that they had an opinion. Anyway, other than your husband and pastor, I wouldn’t pay any attention. Does your husband give you a hard time about the veil?

I understand what you are saying about feeling like a hypocrit being a part time veiler. I had the same thoughts as well. Why only at adoration and not at mass too? But, there was an incident that clarified all that for me. Funny, but I had been keeping my favorite veil in the car and it was lost! I don’t have time to write about it now and am not sure I want to post publically. I will send it to you later today or tomorrow via PM. Anyway, it was important to be obedient to your former pastor.

What I know is that the Lord love us no matter what we are wearing…veil or no veil. And while he wants us to honor and respect him, what he wants the most is for us to love him with our whole hearts. We should trust him unconditionally like children and be obedient to his requests, which are sometimes made through another person. If he says to me one day, come to adoration and I have got no veil, I will go. If he says to me one day, I want you to start veiling at mass, I will. For me responding to his request that I veil in adoration was a small step in learning to respond to his prompts in many more important areas of my life.

I would ask him to clarify this in prayer if you are unsure what he wants.
 
No worries, gh4.

I agree that the lady in your parish is probably covering for the Liturgy of the Eucharist. You could always ask her why she does it, why she does it then, and why it’s important to her. Maybe you can be her supporter and advocate and help others in the parish understand her and her actions. For most women who cover, it’s a personal devotion they feel called to, much like praying the rosary or the divine office, etc., but few people understand why a woman would choose to cover since we are no longer obligated to do it. 🤷
 
WaitingForJesus said:
Well one thing I know for sure is that the Lord isn’t going to ask a man to wear a veil.
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:rotfl: It’s funny that they had an opinion. Anyway, other than your husband and pastor, I wouldn’t pay any attention. Does your husband give you a hard time about the veil?
Ain’t that the truth! My husband thinks my headscarves are “cute”, but he doesn’t get it, either. It seems most people don’t understand it…
I would ask him to clarify this in prayer if you are unsure what he wants.
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I feel confident I know what He wants, just not why. Maybe it is “just” an issue of obedience since that has been a source of problems in my past.
 
Catholic_Wife said:
Ain’t that the truth! My husband thinks my headscarves are “cute”, but he doesn’t get it, either. It seems most people don’t understand it…

I feel confident I know what He wants, just not why. Maybe it is “just” an issue of obedience since that has been a source of problems in my past.
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Something that keeps coming to mind as I read your posts is this: “Does she know how much HE loves her”? It really doesn’t matter what other people think or if they get it. This is between you and HIM. 🙂

I would pray about the why. Do it when things are quiet. Tell HIM you aren’t understanding and you wish to be enlightened. What comes into your mind when you ask that question? If you don’t get anything, don’t worry about it and try again on another day. Usually these things become clear with time. I’ll PM you later. God bless!
 
Many of the above answers are very good responses. I’d like to offer a different point of view, ‘devil’s advocate’, so to speak.

It could also be that Satan is trying to make you feel unworthy in any way possible, and keep you from going in. He can be sneaky like that. It also accomplished something in distracting you from prayer and from wanting to be there without your headscarf. The devil loves it when we feel unworthy enough to abstain from praying or attending Mass or drawing closer to our amazing Creator, our Lord our God.

I don’t know if that’s it; it could entirely be that God is showing you His approval by ‘reproving’ you when you don’t have it. Just another perspective to think about.
 
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