"It's So Hard to Find a Practicing Catholic Spouse" --A Post and What Catholics Said in Response

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When a person starts off within the first 10 words saying “I’m not ugly, not short” I have to roll my eyes and laugh.

Women are NOT that shallow. To say that just tells me there’s an attitude issue.

Catholic Match does a pretty good job filtering out those with beliefs. It took me a few years on CM to find my husband. I went on Ave Maria, too, but I found some of the men extremely radical. There were a few nice guys, but none of those dates panned out to much.

We had a name for people who felt that they should have a spouse because they were well-groomed and knowledgeable and just a grrrreat catch…so who wouldn’t want them. The “I’m too sexy club”…because, like the song, they seemed to lack all self-awareness of the level of cringe they induced.
 
Whoa there, Xanthippe. I think jumping on the guy and saying he has an attitude not only emphasizes what he is trying to say in the first place, but it also isn’t trying to offer him the support he has come on here for. That’s not right! You are NOT a man and you have NO idea how the women behave on places like CatholicSingles, etc. I don’t know how men behave, so I won’t go there. I have been on Catholic Singles, and this guy has a point. There is a good degree of shallowness out there - whether you are willing to believe it or not! I’m not even going to go into my experiences. But I do want to support mdgspencer.
All I can say is, trust God and let him run the show. Nothing wrong with how you started your post. It is hard to find people out there, and sometimes it’s hard to figure out where some people are coming from. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and trust Him. When the time is right, you will find the woman He has for you. One last thing I can mention, and I really believe this. Sometimes things progress in life in a really strange way. You see things happen that you really can’t explain, and you wonder what the odds are. I’ve come to believe this is God at work. He is going to keep you moving in the direction he has planned for you – as long as you trust Him to take that role. Trust and pray, and watch God do the unimaginable for you!
 
Spencer likes to post articles. I doubt very much he is speaking of himself.
FWIW, I met my husband on Catholic Singles. He was born in 1964.
 
Bob1963 said:
Whoa there, Xanthippe. I think jumping on the guy and saying he has an attitude not only emphasizes what he is trying to say in the first place, but it also isn’t trying to offer him the support he has come on here for. That’s not right! You are NOT a man and you have NO idea how the women behave on places like CatholicSingles, etc. I don’t know how men behave, so I won’t go there. I have been on Catholic Singles, and this guy has a point. There is a good degree of shallowness out there - whether you are willing to believe it or not! I’m not even going to go into my experiences. But I do want to support mdgspencer.
All I can say is, trust God and let him run the show. Nothing wrong with how you started your post. It is hard to find people out there, and sometimes it’s hard to figure out where some people are coming from. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and trust Him. When the time is right, you will find the woman He has for you. One last thing I can mention, and I really believe this. Sometimes things progress in life in a really strange way. You see things happen that you really can’t explain, and you wonder what the odds are. I’ve come to believe this is God at work. He is going to keep you moving in the direction he has planned for you – as long as you trust Him to take that role. Trust and pray, and watch God do the unimaginable for you!
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When you open with two EXTREMELY shallow things, it’s laughable.

It’s pure hubris to open with physical attributes when talking about something that is so innately spiritual. Why not open with, I’m a faithful Catholic who attends Mass and Holy days and volunteers for CCD? Leading with physical features is just going to attract the kind of vapidness he claims to hate.

Like it or not, he is adhering to a stereotype that is wholly undesirable and even mocked.

And wait? Did you just say to the WOMAN who was on CM for a decade and Ave Maria for nearly the same that I have no idea how women behave?

Yes, yes, I ABSOLUTELY DO have an idea how women behave. And I know what women had to deal with more than you, as a man, do. Perhaps you view some of the women as shallow, but I mean both Ave and CM addressed the most common mistakes on a man’s profile which was, without a doubt, touting what a great catch they were, and on a woman’s profile which tended to be the demur “I a good girl and don’t contact men first” and other demur nonsense. On both services. Again that was from both services directly.

There is plenty of weirdness on the parts of both genders.

“ugliness” and “height” are not mitigating factors for most women. (Although cruddy pictures are, as stated by both CM and Ave)
 
Okay, I’ve read your comment over three times. And all I can say is, we have differing ideas. All good and well. But whether or not you are willing to believe this, the comments in both your posts add an incredible amount of credence to what Spencer says. Think carefully about what you are saying, please, from one Catholic to Another. You are saying HE has an attitude problem, you roll your eyes at his post…! Really! Is that what Christ would do? And to top it off-- please listen to me on this – you actually state that what he wrote was shallow:

“When you open with two EXTREMELY shallow things, it’s laughable.”

We are here, on this site, and as God’s servants, to help and support each other, not to ridicule.

I wish you the very best, but I have to think you are in attack mode. I’m not sure why, but it is what it is. Do you really think any of what you said really helps Spencer?

If someone else wants to chime in on this, please do.
 
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Wait! Are you saying this original poster is not who he claims to be? What’s the story here?
 
Bob1963 said:
Okay, I’ve read your comment over three times. And all I can say is, we have differing ideas. All good and well. But whether or not you are willing to believe this, the comments in both your posts add an incredible amount of credence to what Spencer says. Think carefully about what you are saying, please, from one Catholic to Another. You are saying HE has an attitude problem, you roll your eyes at his post…! Really! Is that what Christ would do? And to top it off-- please listen to me on this – you actually state what he wrote as shallow:

“When you open with two EXTREMELY shallow things, it’s laughable.”

We are here, on this site, and as God’s servants, to help and support each other, not to ridicule.

I wish you the very best, but I have to think you are in attack mode. I’m not sure why, but it is what it is. Do you really think any of what you said really helps Spencer?

If someone else wants to chime in on this, please do.
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Spencer isn’t the Reddit author. He’s not even in the same generation as the Reddit author. Spencer is basically like a CM news bot. He re-posts interesting stories and occasionally coments on threads.

Look, if the first two things a Catholic woman wanted was a tall, good-looking guy, who took care of themselves they’d head down to the local roadbike club or gym or whatever. Catholic women are on CM to meet Catholic men.

I do think that the Reddit poster would do well to consider that he’s approaching the matter from a completely ill-advised position. One that regularly gets made fun of with Catholic women. It is cringe-inducing, eye rolling and just plain goofy that a man who wants to tout their Catholicness feels the need to open with their physical attributes.
 
Interesting! Not sure what else to say about that guy then. But my advice to Xanthippe still holds.
 
Code: 
 While I am the original poster, I didn't write the opening post. I simply posted what
someone else wrote in the hopes it would begin a discussion on something of concern to some Catholics.
 
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My thoughts would be that he is confused that there hasn’t been any attention
(I’m not ugly,I’m not short) That’s how I’d read it as a woman
 
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