I've Completed One Year of Seminary and Need Some Advice

[BHUIKG]

Thanks for all of the replies. I normally don’t go looking to the Internet for advice, but Catholic Answers was very helpful to me several years ago as I was learning more about our faith and then more recently as I entered the seminary, so I thought I’d post my situation and see what kind of responses I would receive.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Thanks for all of the replies. I normally don’t go looking to the Internet for advice, but Catholic Answers was very helpful to me several years ago as I was learning more about our faith and then more recently as I entered the seminary, so I thought I’d post my situation and see what kind of responses I would receive.

You and ocean321 are in my prayers.

 

[Lamentation]

This is a conversation for you, your Rector, and the Vocations Director of your Diocese.
** Not internet strangers.** We can’t begin to know or understand the dynamics at play here. …] But really, speak to someone who can actuality advise you in a knowledgeable way.

Which is exactly why he’s asking on the CA forums, in hopes that there is someone like that; more often than not (and as has been expressed in the OP), all other local avenues have failed in that regard. Using this post (and not you personally) as an example, I really cannot stand this (and the vague “find a spiritual director”) throwaway advice that is most often given on this particular subforum. :banghead:

[Also, one does not simply speak to one’s bishop, nor really the vocations director after you’ve entered, unless it involves something of a very VERY serious nature, or you’re leaving/transferring. I know how …professional… of a relationship that sounds, but it’s been true of my experience in multiple dioceses.]

I don’t know how one has to operate in a seminary in regards to what I’m about to say so stay with what is appropriate for a seminary. But, in an environment where things get around, NEVER tell someone your personal struggles, i.e. “feeling lonely”. It will ALWAYS come back to haunt you. Good Luck, it sounds like you would make a great priest!

Honesty is the best policy - not only for one’s sanity, but also for the prudent determination of one’s suitability by the Church in virtue of her formation staff. I know what you’re saying, but it’s been the cause of more than a few problems. Priesthood is a life, not a job.

That being said, I do agree with you in premise - the vocations director is not someone to confide in.
Your 1:1 formation director? Yes, but professionally.
Your spiritual director? ** Totally.**
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To the OP:
Your experiences, unfortunately, are par for the course in my (admittedly diverse) seminary experience(s). Without being too dour, it’s part of what our generation needs to work on, as I believe you’re rightly found examining Pope Francis’s ideals through the lens of the current lived reality.

I once knew a guy who felt that those he ministered to at a psychological hospital were easier to relate to, even with their struggles, than his peers at the seminary; and while his presentation was a bit more extreme than others, I find that many are of that same mind.

Is that everywhere? No.
Is that at your place? Sounds like it.
Do you have a choice? Probably not, other than leaving.

What’s more disturbing to me is the blatant homosexuality, which I have not experienced, but have heard of from one of our international guys. The recent document on priestly formation has actually clarified this point, and your experiences very clearly go against that.

All in all, I think you are handling it well, although I will agree with earlier discussion that you do need to be more prudent about who you share what with, so long as you’re being honest. Not everything should be shared with everybody.

As to friendships… You make those by being you, and treating every seminarian with respect. Believe me, it might take a while, but friends made in the seminary are often friends for the long haul; even if they leave.

If you have any specific concerns/stories/question, feel free to PM me. :compcoff:
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To Everyone Else:
Why do we have to be so critical when others ask advice on these forums? Again, having now read the other replies, why do we even respond if it’s not constructive? We’re so cynical of other’s questions… Personally, I’m happy to see that the vocations forum has become a place to ask questions again, and not simply resembling a VISION magazine with never-ending advertisements for communities (though itself a good work, not the original purpose of these forums).
**
Can we please respect the dignity of others, and assume that they have done their due diligence before coming here, at least until proven otherwise?**

 

[AdamP88]

It sounds like this seminary is not a fit for you. As someone who has spent time in a religious house (dominican) discerning that way of life, I think it’s possible you might find the type of friendship you are talking about in religious life. Just a thought. feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

OP, this is an interesting story that you tell.

I wonder at times if they are trying to form normal parish priests or robots programmed for precise liturgical precision who only appreciate Latin. There is a faction of students who vocally hate the Novus Ordo and question the legitimacy of Pope Francis. This brings up a larger point about how a notable amount of men at this seminary don’t talk about their desire to serve God’s people, but instead plot ways to change practices that have been in place for around half a century. This mindset starts at the top with our rector-president.

You tell of what seems to be an ultra-traditionalist seminary, which, none the less, tolerates a significant homosexual group. That would seem really odd to many people, but perhaps does represent a certain subculture.

I cannot advise you about what to do next year. I do hope very much that you continue to explore the priesthood, as the Church very much needs priests. Most priests do get great satisfaction out of their vocation, despite the sacrifices that it entails.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Which is exactly why he’s asking on the CA forums, in hopes that there is someone like that; more often than not (and as has been expressed in the OP), all other local avenues have failed in that regard. Using this post (and not you personally) as an example, I really cannot stand this (and the vague “find a spiritual director”) throwaway advice that is most often given on this particular subforum. :banghead:

As a priest who has been a formator across the many years, there is scarcely better advice that laity – who are obviously neither clergy nor theologians – on a forum could offer to this question posed by a seminarian than “find a spiritual director” since, in point of fact, the matter calls for the assistance derived from specific knowledge and experience…not the musings of people who know not anything about the matter, as it is in actual reality.

[Also, one does not simply speak to one’s bishop, nor really the vocations director after you’ve entered, unless it involves something of a very VERY serious nature, or you’re leaving/transferring. I know how …professional… of a relationship that sounds, but it’s been true of my experience in multiple dioceses.]

A statement which proves the point I just made…very few people, who not are formators or who have themselves completed formation for priesthood and/or Religious life, understand how formation actually is accomplished – or even the structure in place to facilitate it.

To Everyone Else:
Why do we have to be so critical when others ask advice on these forums? Again, having now read the other replies, why do we even respond if it’s not constructive? We’re so cynical of other’s questions… Personally, I’m happy to see that the vocations forum has become a place to ask questions again, and not simply resembling a VISION magazine with never-ending advertisements for communities (though itself a good work, not the original purpose of these forums).
**
Can we please respect the dignity of others, and assume that they have done their due diligence before coming here, at least until proven otherwise?**

Frankly, the original post left me with many questions, as a priest who has done formation work…not least being why the original poster is seeking advice here, on an internet forum populated by laity, and not turning instead to the priests of his own diocese since they have the benefit of knowing him, of surely having some relationship with him, of knowing the seminary in question, of knowing the presbyterate, of knowing the diocesan curia, as well as some level of knowledge of this seminarian upon which to base the counsel they would give.

This seminarian has looked for advice in the wrong place.