I've done somethig very wrong and don't see any way to fix it

[Abira]

Hi,
I’m not too fussed about this being a personal issue discussed… but I don’t really know how to put it. I don’t mind discussing the vague issues in case I start rambling and don’t make any sense

Firstly I’m not Catholic… so I don’t go to confession etc.

But basically I’ve done something very wrong, and even though I am sorry I don’t feel as if I’ve been forgiven…does that make sense?

I’ve been struggling with a few issues for a time and a few weeks ago I gave into them and really feel as though I let myself down.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how I can ‘square’ things up and clear my concience.

 

[Abira]

lol…sorry, I forgot to say thanks for reading me

 

[Kevin42]

Well, my first advice would be to come to the Church so you can receive confession!

However, that still takes time, and I’m not sure if you even want to enter the Church, so besides that, my advice would just be to pray for forgiveness and healing. Remember, Jesus died for all sinners, and for all sins. No sin is too great to be forgiven.

“Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

Pray, pray, and pray some more. If you feel like it, maybe find some penance to do. Maybe do something for charity, donate your time to a good cause, show compassion to others, fast, or spend extra time in prayer. I will also pray for you. Peace!

 

[carol_marie]

I am sorry that you are not Catholic, because speaking from personal experience, it does help me to feel totally forgiven. Not because of anything the Priest says - he isn’t the one forgiving me… but because God has.

But, since you’re not Catholic, I would say that you should pray and ask God to forgive you… pour out your heart to Him and truly repent - ask His help so you can avoid the circumstances that made you sin. And then trust that His love and mercy are suffient for you. Satan loves to tell us that we aren’t “good enough” for God… that is not true. He loves us depite our shortcomings…

The fact that you feel guilty is a wonderful thing… so many people today don’t…

Oh, and if it’s another person you’ve wronged, don’t forget to ask their forgiveness also.

God Bless,
CM

 

[Della]

Just to add to the others fine advise, and to take a different tack, if this sin is one that you have trouble avoiding, then you need to keep yourself out of the circumstances that make it easy for you to do it. In Catholic terms this is called avoiding the “near occasion of sin.” Find ways to take your mind off it or make it hard to do it. Remember Jesus said: “If your eye offends you, pluck it out; it is better to enter the kingdom blind than to go to hell with both eyes.” He was using a bit of hyperbole there, but the idea is to avoid whatever causes you to sin. I will remember you especially in my prayers today. God bless!

 

[Abira]

Satan loves to tell us that we aren’t “good enough” for God… that is not true. He loves us depite our shortcomings…

God Bless,
CM

Thanks Carol…

well the person I wronged didn’t mind me wronging them…

I think your quote hit the nil on the head in a way. I think the things that I’ve been thinking about over the past few years have meant I have not felt comfortable going to church…and when I do go I feel like I should not take communion while I’m doing stuff wrong…I think it took me about a year to pray again, and even now the only prayer I use is the rosary because its like I don’t have to deal with my personal issues… I can just focus instead.

I think I should take your advice start going to church again some time…sometime soon

take care.

 

[carol_marie]

Thanks Carol…

well the person I wronged didn’t mind me wronging them…

I think your quote hit the nil on the head in a way. I think the things that I’ve been thinking about over the past few years have meant I have not felt comfortable going to church…and when I do go I feel like I should not take communion while I’m doing stuff wrong…I think it took me about a year to pray again, and even now the only prayer I use is the rosary because its like I don’t have to deal with my personal issues… I can just focus instead.

I think I should take your advice start going to church again some time…sometime soon

take care.

Your post gave me chills. I DO hope that you’ll come back to Church. God is waiting for you with open arms and all of Heaven would rejoice. (and me too!)

God Bless you,
CM

 

[Abira]

Just to add to the others fine advise, and to take a different tack, if this sin is one that you have trouble avoiding, then you need to keep yourself out of the circumstances that make it easy for you to do it.

thanks Della…

It is getting easier but I find it’s not a sin that comes from any circumstance, it’s more something in my nature… and that’s what makes it harder to engage with as it’ll always be in my surrounding circumstances…sort of

It scares me how fast you guys quote things back at me that make sense lol

 

[dafalax]

thanks Della…

It is getting easier but I find it’s not a sin that comes from any circumstance, it’s more something in my nature… and that’s what makes it harder to engage with as it’ll always be in my surrounding circumstances…sort of

It scares me how fast you guys quote things back at me that make sense lol

Concupiscence pulls everyone differently. Just remember that God’s love and mercy are infinite and there’s nothing He can’t forgive. Resolve to never fall into that sin again and avoid what might tempt you. Since you say it seems like something in your very nature, i assumed that it is something you battle often. Any sinful habit can be overcome with prayer. Realize that you can’t do it on your own, but God can give you the grace to change any habit in word, thought, or deed. I feel like a hard-hearted jerk who misses the entire point of my faith so much. It’s hard for me to love others as God loved me. But God doesn’t create jerks, jerks are made. So i must unmake the jerk and let God recreate me into a being of love, 'cause otherwise i’ll be miserable forever.
Anyway, i feel God’s love pulling me in some instances where charity actually becomes my first response instead of hard-hearted judgment, so i know He is trying to help me overcome this. I hope you never stop trying because God will never give up on you.
Also, come back to the Church. The sacraments told me they miss you.

 

[Della]

thanks Della…

It is getting easier but I find it’s not a sin that comes from any circumstance, it’s more something in my nature… and that’s what makes it harder to engage with as it’ll always be in my surrounding circumstances…sort of

We all struggle with what is called a “besetting sin,” which is one we are particularly prone to committing. But, there is a way out through God’s grace. No one has to remain as s/he is–that the secret joy of believing in Christ. He can make us into exactly the person he wants us to be, if we let him. Not to be pedantic, but that is why he established the 7 sacraments of his Church, as the main means of receiving his grace to combat the evil that lies within our fallen nature.

It scares me how fast you guys quote things back at me that make sense lol

A lot of us have been at this for some time, so we’re old hands at answering questions. Sometimes it scares me too!

 

[IsMiseSteise]

Lastly, please know that we are praying for you!

God bless!
Stacie

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Thanks Carol…

well the person I wronged didn’t mind me wronging them…

I think your quote hit the nil on the head in a way. I think the things that I’ve been thinking about over the past few years have meant I have not felt comfortable going to church…and when I do go I feel like I should not take communion while I’m doing stuff wrong…I think it took me about a year to pray again, and even now the only prayer I use is the rosary because its like I don’t have to deal with my personal issues… I can just focus instead.

I think I should take your advice start going to church again some time…sometime soon

take care.

Abira:

The Apostle St. Paul battled similar "demons:

*For sin, finding opportunity in the commandment, deceived me and by it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and just and good. Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, working death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure.

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Romans 7:11-25 RSV*

In your case, this has been made even more difficult because you have forsaken the assembly of the brethren and the aid and comfort in the time of need that can come from from receiving the Sacraments given to us by our Lord, hearing the word of God and having your brothers and sisters pray for you in those times of need.

Christians have never been made to “go it alone”. We have always been begotten in the waters of baptism so that we made members of a family.

In your case, your sin and your recognition of it isan invitation for you to come home o the family, and the Family who have been waiting for you as the father in the in the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

Please, do not hesitate for another minute.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael

 

[Abira]

Do you think it’s ok to go back to church and not take communion? I don’t know why but I’d feel a bit bad taking it… but then I don’t want to get into the cycle of not taking it as I’d never know when I felt like I should… does that make any sense?

thanks x

 

[Della]

Do you think it’s ok to go back to church and not take communion? I don’t know why but I’d feel a bit bad taking it… but then I don’t want to get into the cycle of not taking it as I’d never know when I felt like I should… does that make any sense?

thanks x

If you were a Catholic and had committed a grave sin you would be expected to go to confession first. I don’t know if you have confession in your particular denomination, but if you do it might be helpful to you, psychologically, at least.

From a Catholic perspective, though, your holy communion is only a symbol, so it hardly matters if you receive it or not as far as being in sin is concerned. I think it significant that you sense that you ought to have some type of forgiveness before receiving even a symbol of holy communion. Kind of tells us that the real thing must exist in the Church, doesn’t it?

 

[Abira]

I think it significant that you sense that you ought to have some type of forgiveness before receiving even a symbol of holy communion. Kind of tells us that the real thing must exist in the Church, doesn’t it?

lol Della, please don’t burden me with the idea of transubtiation lol lol, I’m still finding it hard to take on board the ideas on marian devotion and intercession lol… one thing at a time

 

[StCsDavid]

Hi,
I’m not too fussed about this being a personal issue discussed… but I don’t really know how to put it. I don’t mind discussing the vague issues in case I start rambling and don’t make any sense

Firstly I’m not Catholic… so I don’t go to confession etc.

But basically I’ve done something very wrong, and even though I am sorry I don’t feel as if I’ve been forgiven…does that make sense?

I’ve been struggling with a few issues for a time and a few weeks ago I gave into them and really feel as though I let myself down.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how I can ‘square’ things up and clear my concience.

It seems to me what you are really seeking is absolution. Christ has already forgiven you for your sins. If you want to see how, simply look upon a crucifix and see the price paid for your sin. He did that because he really does love you. I would challenge you to prayerfully examine the lacking you’re feeling. It’s not Christ who hasn’t forgiven you. True, you haven’t forgiven yourself, but I suspect there is something even deeper going on.

 

[tptram]

Hi Ariba

Talk to a priest (from a different church if you want).
Go to a confession booth so that you still be anonymous .
Tell him your story, circumstances, struggle.
This is the first step you must take.

Also spend sometime before Jesus and talk to him.

The Holy Spirit is prodding you

Good luck

Tak

 

[Abira]

thanks a lot guys. I’ll put it in my new years resolution pile

do you not think though, more generally… that if God has forgiven you, then you wouldn’t still feel burdened? lol… I sometimes wish I never hada conscience

take care,

S x

 

[M-Dent]

do you not think though, more generally… that if God has forgiven you, then you wouldn’t still feel burdened? lol… I sometimes wish I never hada conscience

Feeling burdened “may” indicate you haven’t changed your surroundings (or routines) that makes temptations really hard to avoid? What some people call, the near occasion of sin.

But be glad you have a conscience.

31 The days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.
32 ** It will not be like the covenant I made with their fathers** the day I took them by the hand to lead them forth from the land of Egypt; for they broke my covenant and I had to show myself their master, says the LORD.
33 But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD.** I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts**; I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
34 No longer will they have need to teach their friends and kinsmen how to know the LORD. All, from least to greatest, shall know me, says the LORD, for I will forgive their evildoing and remember their sin no more.

Jeremiah 31

In such times, we Catholics do understand our duty to visit the Sacrament of Penance because it offers just what God stated above. Kinda like our part of the covenant. heh

Have a Happy New Year!

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Do you think it’s ok to go back to church and not take communion? I don’t know why but I’d feel a bit bad taking it… but then I don’t want to get into the cycle of not taking it as I’d never know when I felt like I should… does that make any sense?

thanks x

Abira:

Of course it is. You would still hear the Scriptures and pray with the People of God and be able to have a Spiritual Communion with our Lord. And, Afterwords, you could see if one of the priests of the parish would have time to hear your Confession and to bring you into the Sacramant of Reconciliation. Even if he couldn’t do it then, he could schedule a time when you could come in and confess your sins and hear of the wondrous forgiveness of God.

If you didn’t do it yesterday, do it someday this week or next Sunday.

“Come now, let us reason together,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.”
Isaiah 1:18 NIV

Your Brother in Christ, Michael