I've fallen for a Jewish girl and I'm feeling very conflicted

[AClaire11]

Also, the “wife her up” comment seemed incredibly crass. Like you need to mark your territory or something.

 

[MrGallagher88]

Are you really open to the (name removed by moderator)ut of other Catholics?

Why would you need to “wife” her before some other guy does? I am sure she is a wonderful girl, but I know many beautiful, wonderful Catholic girls as well.

I am married to a Jewish man and can share my thoughts if you are open to it.

‘Wife her’ is just the guys saying she has other admirers so don’t wait to commit. It’s just the ‘slang’ term that’s in right now in our age group. The girls are telling each other to cuff guys up so they’re both pretty silly un-pc terms.

Yes I would be open to your thoughts.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I was raised in a traditional Irish Catholic household. I admit to not following Catholic teaching 100%. However, I have always made an effort to respect my Catholic upbringing. /…/

[T]his summer the most beautiful girl I have ever seen started coming in. The problem is she’s Jewish. She told me on our first date and I said it wasn’t an issue at all. And it wasn’t at the time. Now that our relationship is progressing I’m wondering about the implications of our different backgrounds.

Silly thoughts are keeping me awake at night: would she go to ‘our’ heaven?, could we be buried together, would God accept us as a married couple. That’s not to mention how my family might react. I’ve briefly mentioned to my mother over the phone that I’m seeing somebody. I’ve never introduced my family to a girl before so I don’t think my mother took me too seriously but I’m going home for Christmas soon and I want to tell my family I’m just nervous that they won’t approve and don’t want to upset anyone at Christmas. Everyone else is married to another Irish-Catholic so I do not know how they would react. They have made slightly derogatory comments about Protestants over the years so a Jew might be just too much of a bomb to drop.

My girlfriends family are ‘culturally’ Jewish according to her. They live in a very Jewish neighborhood and her parents are involved with Jewish groups and charities but they don’t go to temple. Her ex-husband (they were married less than a year) was not Jewish so her parents don’t have issues with a gentile spouse. They do want to meet me before giving us their blessing /…/ I hope to meet them soon. I’ve spoken to her parents on the phone and they’ve been very accepting. /…/ She’s made it clear that she would never convert and she wants to share her culture with me. So far she’s made me Jewish food and taught me some Yiddish. Nothing religious or that I wasn’t okay with.

In some ways I feel in over my head. I’ve been googling Jewish beliefs and many of them are far from what I was raised to believe. /…/ [edited for length]

I think it is wonderful that you are seeking the advice and counsel of others in this matter. I’m sure you do feel in over your head…many young people do as they confront the prospect of marrying.

It is, often, when we confront major life-changing events that we think about religion and reflect on its role in our lives, as also about our cultural heritage, and about family…especially when there is the prospect of starting a family and blending that new family into two existing families – all the more so when they are of different faiths and different cultures.

As a priest, however, I would suggest that rather than seeking advice from strangers on the Internet about your relationship – which is relatively unique and comes with many singular issues, as you yourself acknowledge – that you reach out to a priest there in Ireland, who is of your own culture, with whom you could meet and work through the various permutations this relationship could take. He could help you understand what would be the implications from our own faith tradition as well as how canon law and particular law for this marriage would be in Ireland. Most responding here are from the United States.

Of course, one should know and understand the young lady’s faith tradition as well and perhaps her family can help you to visit with their rabbi.

Several things to know:

1. She would not have to convert for you two to be married in the Church. You must not think your only option is a civil wedding. You are also not in a situation in which you must choose your faith or her. Since she is non-Christian, a wedding ceremony by a priest would not include Mass and would be a much simpler ceremony.
2. Pope Francis has just enacted new expedited procedures for consideration for declaration of nullity – for which she would qualify, actually, based on what you have related.
3. Obviously, I cannot predict how your family will react. I can only say, as you of course already know, that the tensions between Protestants and Catholics in Ireland is for very distinct historical reasons that are particular to that dynamic and that transcend religious issues to cultural and political realities. The priest with whom you visit could put you in touch with other young Catholics who have married outside their culture as well as their faith – and those people could be a wonderful resource for you.
4. Personally, I would suggest reaching out to a priest who serves as a university chaplain or to contact your diocese’s chancery to make contact with a priest who works with issues of inter-religious and inter-cultural dialogue. Such a priest would be best positioned to help you address the implications you are already foreseeing and those you and the young lady may not have thought of, as yet.
5. The priest can help you to think about, perhaps in new lights, how Catholicism is part of who you are and the richness it can bring by its presence in your life and in this relationship.
6. It is also an opportunity for you to explore through resources available to you there her faith and to come to understand it better since it would be part of her and therefore part of any marriage.
7. As for what is keeping you up at night: There is only one Heaven, assuredly you could be buried together, and yours can be a marriage blessed by God and filled with His loving presence.

You are welcomed to send me a message but I prefer not to delve into this delicate matter further except in a private discussion directly with you. I would be happy to address your concerns with you. I am not willing to debate my responses to you with other posters, however.

I assure you of my prayers for you and for her and for both of your families. Happy Christmas! I hope the time home with your family will help you as you seek the way forward.

don Ruggero

 

[MrGallagher88]

That’s a wonderful response. Thank You. I’m not in Ireland though. I’m from an Irish Catholic family but born and raised in The Bronx. My girlfriend is from Brooklyn but we’re both living in California.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

If you reject the church in the sacraments (marriage) at the very least, I fail to understand just why you consider yourself Catholic other than the happenstance of another sacrament (baptism). How can the church be right on some but not all?

 

[Winter_Warlock_1]

MrGall,

I understand your concern. I am the product of a Jewish Mother and a Catholic Father. Both were not practicing their faiths. Growing up I knew of both faiths but did not follow either of them. Only until I was older (25) did I choose the one that was right for me, the one that I felt spoke the truth. And being on this forum, yes I am Catholic.

My family on my Mother’s side which is Jewish accepts my choice, as my Mom states she is just happy that I have chosen to accept God. Regardless of way that we as Catholics show our love, or the way that Jewish people show their love for God. He is the same God of us all, and we are all His children.

Also my Mom likes to point out that “Jesus was a Jewish boy that spoke God’s word that everyone could understand”.

May God grant you peace and happiness – and for your future Wife also. Remember Love God always – even if you and your wife show your Love in different ways.

Winter.

 

[UbiCaritas]

One quick side note: depending on how recently your family came here from Ireland, the anti-Protestant remarks may have less to do with faith differences, crazy as that sounds, as much as the past Catholic/Protestant history in Ireland, especially as pertains to the Troubles. Neither Catholic nor Protestant religious leaders would dream of sanctioning, say, the bombing of innocents in order to make a political statement or torturing/“disappearing” people for ditto, but it did happen, and there are still, as you might imagine, cultural ramifications from that in the people who either lived through the Troubles or had family who did. In short, they might be rather more accepting of a non-Catholic than you might think.

(That’s leaving aside the interfaith marriage issues, of course, which I’ll get into more in a bit if I have time, but I did want to throw that out there.)

 

[white_sheep]

Dating a Jewish girl means that you are planning on teaching a Jewish woman’s children that Jesus is God, is present in the Eucharist, etc. It’s going to be awkward.

 

[EasterJoy]

That’s a wonderful response. Thank You. I’m not in Ireland though. I’m from an Irish Catholic family but born and raised in The Bronx. My girlfriend is from Brooklyn but we’re both living in California.

Have you talked to your pastor? There have to be Catholics in the situation you are contemplating in his parish. He can tell you what sort of issues cause the most serious problems. Jumping in without both of you understanding what could be coming is one of them.

I have two relatives who married previously-married Protestants, and both were able to obtain decrees of nullity and marry according to the laws of the Catholic Church. The rules for what is expected of the non-Catholic party have also changed since WWII. The non-Catholic party does have to be willing to undergo that investigation, and not everyone wants to do that.

The first thing to do is to talk to the woman you are seeing. Is she at all interested in getting married? If she is not, not even in theory, then the conversation is moot. If she is interested, is she willing to do the work involved to research a) if you two can marry according to the laws of the Catholic Church and b) to investigate what you each feel about what you’d do about children.

I would not worry so much about whether the object of your affections is going to go to Heaven as whether you are going to go to Heaven if you are if you willingly neglect your duties as a Catholic. Learn what those are, OK? You do not want to show up at the Pearly Gates with the wrong answer to the question, “How important was it to you to actually do the will of God while you were on earth? Did you try to learn what that was?”

 

[anthrogirl]

I was raised in a traditional Irish Catholic household. I admit to not following Catholic teaching 100%. However, I have always made an effort to respect my Catholic upbringing and deep down figured I’d meet a Catholic girl some day and settle down like all my other relatives.

I work in a gym and this summer the most beautiful girl I have ever seen started coming in. I asked her out to dinner, she said yes and we’ve been inseparable ever since. I have never felt like this about any girl and feel like the luckiest man in the world. The problem is she’s Jewish. She told me on our first date and I said it wasn’t an issue at all. And it wasn’t at the time. Now that our relationship is progressing I’m wondering about the implications of our different backgrounds.

Silly thoughts are keeping me awake at night: would she go to ‘our’ heaven?, could we be buried together, would God accept us as a married couple. That’s not to mention how my family might react. I’ve briefly mentioned to my mother over the phone that I’m seeing somebody. I’ve never introduced my family to a girl before so I don’t think my mother took me too seriously but I’m going home for Christmas soon and I want to tell my family I’m just nervous that they won’t approve and don’t want to upset anyone at Christmas. Everyone else is married to another Irish-Catholic so I do not know how they would react. They have made slightly derogatory comments about Protestants over the years so a Jew might be just too much of a bomb to drop.

My girlfriends family are ‘culturally’ Jewish according to her. They live in a very Jewish neighborhood and her parents are involved with Jewish groups and charities but they don’t go to temple. Her ex-husband (they were married less than a year) was not Jewish so her parents don’t have issues with a gentile spouse. They do want to meet me before giving us their blessing which I understand and I hope to meet them soon. I’ve spoken to her parents on the phone and they’ve been very accepting. I should note that my girl is also culturally Jewish and she’s very proud of her background. She’s made it clear that she would never convert and she wants to share her culture with me. So far she’s made me Jewish food and taught me some Yiddish. Nothing religious or that I wasn’t okay with.

In some ways I feel in over my head. I’ve been googling Jewish beliefs and many of them are far from what I was raised to believe. I need some (name removed by moderator)ut from other Catholics. Do you think a Jewish/Catholic marriage could be compatible in the long run. All my friends tell me Id be a fool to let her go and that I need to wife her up before some other guy does. We are so compatible in every way except our religious backgrounds. She’s incredibly beautiful and I’ve never been happier but this would all have been so much easier if she had been Catholic too.

Look. You got a load of issues here. Obviously, your Catholic identity drove you to ask the questions you did. It may be helpful to get into a room with the your girlfriend, a priest and a rabbi. I know this sounds like the beginning of a joke, but we both know it’s not. It’s a way for you to ask your questions together, openly. Then the two of you can walk away from the meeting with things to discuss and consider. Better to go into a marriage with eyes wide open.

Keep in mind these few things:
1 - Love is a gift from God and while we’d all like to think it’s disposable, it’s not. We aren’t guaranteed this gift, so when we do receive it, we must take great care.
2 - Every person is equal in the eyes of God, regardless of their religion. A Jewish girl is just as blessed and beloved by God as any Catholic girl. And children, regardless of their faith, are also beloved by the Father. Religion is a human construct, developed to help us understand and follow God. All religions, even ours, are imperfect because they are of humans. Just look at the debates occurring inside the Catholic Church hierarchy itself. Sometimes our Magisterium looks more like a group of whiney old men rather than leaders/teachers of the flock. Remember, your religions, hers and yours, are in service of God. They are a means, not an end.
3 - The Holy Spirit lives inside of you. It’s your direct conduit to God and it’s the perfect moral compass. No person’s opinion, no words (including mine), can act as substitute for that connection. It is THE most powerful thing we’ve got because God supersedes everything and everyone else. Many people poo-poo free will but free will is the tool of Holy Spirit. It guides you, giving you the ability to navigate all of the challenges life will throw at you, including this one. What bridge do you think lasts longer? One built to move a little with the wind or one that has no mechanism to absorb that energy? Listen to your priest, listen to her rabbi, listen to your girlfriend and then, after you’ve heard everyone else, listen to the Holy Spirit inside your heart. If you do that, you can’t go wrong.

God Bless and Good Luck!

 

[CompSciGuy]

Also many Catholics who aren’t practicing, which it seems you are not at the moment, suddenly reevaluate their situation when marriage or kids come in the picture and begin seriously practicing their faith.

This is something very important to consider. I would say this is the bottom line. A lot of Catholics who don’t really practice their faith will very often want to come around later in life. This may happen to you. Maybe right now you are OK with following the Church’s teachings halfway, but what if you change your mind later? You will be in a world of hurt.

My mother in law raised my wife Catholic but was married to an agnostic man who, very much like the OP, had already been married for a very brief time. The marriage lasted weeks. My mother-in-law became very involved in her church later in life and more accepting of Church teaching. She was informed on a retreat about divorced and remarriage and annulments, and as a result has not taken communion in probably four or five years. She has tried to go to annulment workshops, etc. but has had very little success. The diocese unfortunately has fallen short in this area. On top of that, there have been a lot of difficulties in her marriage due to their difference in beliefs.

In general, if you consider Catholicism to be important to you at all, then I would say you are going to face difficulties, possibly major ones. And like others here have said, there is the matter of how you bring up the children. Because of the mixed background, it is very likely that your kids will grow up indifferent to religion. That is usually just how it goes. You can’t form a solid religious foundation for your kids if you and your wife aren’t on the same page. You should ask yourself if you are OK with this.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Here are some points to think about.

You are considering a life partner that opposes…

1. God has revealed himself as a Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The sign of the cross, so basic to our faith, she will oppose. When you sit down at a meal, or tuck your kids into bed, the sign of the cross will be opposed by someone who lives in your house day in and day out.
2. Jesus, the second person of the Trinity, took on flesh and dwelt among us. How incredible is this? And yet your life partner will oppose it.
3. Jesus established Peter as his Prime Minister and his successors are the Popes through the century. She would disagree.
4. Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you cannot have life within you. She will say nonsense. How can you communicate these things to your children if momma rolls her eyes at such a thing? How can they absorb that truth?
5. Our Holy Mother. She is a powerful intercessor! The Rosary, which has moved mountains, changed the course of history. Your partner will disagree.
6. Jesus set up the Church, and priests hear our confessions to reconcile us to God. She would disagree and not support this. This tremendous gift which pours out graces upon us, and she will not participate.

You are considering marrying someone, I’m not trying to be harsh but speak plainly, who is anti-Christ. How can this be your life partner? The person who will raise your children? If you decide to go that way, you are building your life on sandy ground, and when the wind and rains come, great will be the loss.

What I wish to encourage you is to consider what a Catholic life partner will bring into your life. The 2 of you can pray together, go to the sacraments together. Something that isn’t talked about much but a believing couple can bring down powerful graces upon their family, their communities, their cities. Together they can, with God in their midst, open doors that no one can close, close doors that no one can open. I wish that you go from strength to strength! Consider what the wise thing is, the smart thing. The grace I wish all of us in this walk in life! God bless and guide you today.

 

[StGerardMajella]

In some ways I feel in over my head. I’ve been googling Jewish beliefs and many of them are far from what I was raised to believe. I need some (name removed by moderator)ut from other Catholics. Do you think a Jewish/Catholic marriage could be compatible in the long run. All my friends tell me Id be a fool to let her go and that I need to wife her up before some other guy does. We are so compatible in every way except our religious backgrounds. She’s incredibly beautiful and I’ve never been happier but this would all have been so much easier if she had been Catholic too.

These are difficult choices. Here are my observations:

1.) First, there is nothing to fear concerning the Jewish faith. Most of our Catholic prayers and traditions are of Jewish origin. Jesus was a Jew, as were his parents and the large majority of his earliest followers. Christ was a devout Jew, keeping the Sabbath, and attending the Jewish feasts. He preached in synagogues, and at the Temple in Jerusalem. If you carefully study Catholicism, the roots of our faith coming from Judaism are very clearly evident.

2.) Many Jews are very devout, religious people, and are to be respected and admired. The Jewish culture emphasizes education, hard work, independence, and strong family values. You’ve obviously fallen in love with a wonderful woman, so your decision is not to be taken lightly. But you couldn’t have chosen a better culture and religious identity from which to consider.

3.) The Church has, in many ways, lost much of its earliest Jewish cultural identity as it appealed to a broader spectrum of non-Jewish believers all over the world. The early Church was very Jewish in outlook, customs, and theology. All of this naturally evolved and changed considerably over time.

4.) Incidentally, there are Hebrew Catholics that are Jewish by ethnicity, but Catholic by faith and still in communion with the Church. Just as there are Polish, Irish, and Italian Catholics, there are also Hebrew Catholics - mostly in Israel. Hebrew Catholics, interestingly enough, also are allowed to keep their Jewish cultural traditions - such as celebrating Passover, wearing phylacteries, etc.

5.) Ultimately, marriage involves raising children, which opens all kinds of questions, many of which are far down the road:

Will the child be baptized?
Will your young boy have a bar mitzah or a confirmation?
Where would you want to send the child to school?
What will you teach your child about Jesus?
How will you celebrate Christmas, or will you celebrate Hanukkah?

You get the idea. You could continue down this line of questioning for some time. These are all difficult questions. Think long-term and play out these future scenarios and try to come to terms with what you would accept, and what you would not.

6.) While love does conquer all, and all is fair in love and war, inter-faith marriages are by their very nature much more challenging. Not impossible, but challenging. The upside is that a Catholic background and a Jewish background have a lot of overlap. Both value family and respect life. Both have strong traditions. There are differences, but there is much in common.

7.) Do you enjoy Jewish culture? Do you find, for example, Jewish music appealing and interesting? How about Jewish food? Would you ever have an interest in visiting Israel? I think part of your decision involves your level of interest in the rich traditions of the Jewish culture. A lot of your time in marriage will be spent with your wife’s family - for marriages, funerals, birthday parties, etc.

8.) Lastly, I would agree with the other posters that I think you need professional consultation. In this case, I would consider consultation from a qualified Catholic priest. Your future wife may also want you to meet with their family’s rabbi, and I would respect her request.

Personal opinion - The Jewish faith is fascinating, and much is to be admired. The same is certainly true for the Catholic faith. Both have amazing positive aspects, but each is different in its own way. At the end of the day, however, we are all God’s creatures, and He loves us whether we are Catholic, Jewish, or any other faith.

God put this woman in your life for a reason. Pray, think long and hard about your decision, and seek professional counsel. These are difficult decisions, but these are also good decisions - life-changing, but wonderful either way at the same time as you make this journey. God bless. Pray.

 

[UbiCaritas]

One quick point:

I teach infant baptism classes at my church, classes which parents are required to take before they get their kids baptized. A theme I hear over and over and OVER again from the parents is that while as young adults and young married couples they didn’t really take their faith seriously, the birth of that first kid was like a switch flipping…BAM. Suddenly, they want to get their kids baptized and raised in the Church and want them to have the faith and structure they had as kids. This often works out very well. When it doesn’t, though, it’s when the parents are in an interfaith marriage, and both of them, having not really discussed how they are going to raise their kids beforehand (or just having not cared before), suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to raise the kids in their faith. It can get really nasty.

Now, if your girlfriend wasn’t really raised to be religiously Jewish in the first place, this might not happen to her. And there are certain Jewish religious/cultural celebrations that it’s perfectly acceptable to celebrate as Catholics–take Chanukah, for example. However, it is definitely something you want to bear in mind and discuss at length, and as others have suggested, probably with a counselor to assist you.

 

[PennyinCanada]

God put this woman in your life for a reason.

This line makes me very uncomfortable. It is implying that God has a hand in this and maybe they have some God ordained destiny to fulfill. There are other powers at work in the universe and they are working hard to take a Catholic away from the Church and sacraments and if they can accomplish taking children and grand children out of the Church too, even better. Temptation is always appealing or it wouldn’t be a temptation. Certainly when it comes to finding a life partner it’s good to enter into a relationship soberly. When a person says “I will honor you and love you all the days of my life” it should be said to God first. Often a person enters a dating situation and there’s red flags that come up but, for whatever reason, they continue on and their heart gets involved. They fall in love. Then what? They spend a lot of energy trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It’s a tough lesson to learn. Future children and grandchildren are involved. It’s hard to make a smart choice once your heart is involved pulling you down a road that maybe shouldn’t have even started on.

 

[angelic06]

Thank you, Penny. I agree wholeheartedly about other spiritual forces being out there, wanting our souls.

I am a very firm believer that Catholic Christian marriage should be open to children (if of childbearing age) and that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach their children the Holy Faith…so that at the Last they may see their children on another Shore. To the OP: I mean this very respectfully, but is this important to you? To your Jewish girlfriend?

 

[pwlj_christ87]

Firstly, there is only one heaven, and only one Lord Jesus Christ in that heaven. She wont go to a different heaven because shes one creed or another. Secondly, is your faith, and its importance over something that is beautiful. Your faith is the most important thing to you because when you die, it is going to be that very thing which decides where you spend eternity and believe me you do not want to go to hell for the rest of your life. I would work out your faith first, and if she wants to join you in it and go further with you to eternal paradise, then take her along, but if you are falling for something that looks desirable or looks good over your salvation, then you have a problem too. I also dated a girl at a gym for a long time and didn’t practice and got caught up in all sorts of sins with her, and after leaving her I am so glad that i learned from it because it was taking me down a deep empty pit.

 

[StGerardMajella]

This line makes me very uncomfortable. It is implying that God has a hand in this and maybe they have some God ordained destiny to fulfill.

The Creator does put people, places, and circumstances in our life. He is the Master of the Universe, after all. Sometimes these situations are to test us, and sometimes they are to help us.

We don’t know enough about the particular situation in the original post to make judgments about whether this is a test, or a positive development. Typically, people grow in their faith as they grow older.

I give the prospective bride the benefit of the doubt. The fact that she would teach the original poster Yiddish, is a sign of a religiosity - or at least deep spiritual roots in the Jewish faith.

Your faith is the most important thing to you because when you die, it is going to be that very thing which decides where you spend eternity and believe me you do not want to go to hell for the rest of your life.

Presupposing that dating or marrying a Jewish woman would lead to eternal hell fire is a bit of a stretch. That doesn’t mean that the original poster shouldn’t show prudence or caution, but being Jewish doesn’t presuppose eternal hell fire.

After all, Christ was a Jew, as was Mary, Joseph, and most of the earliest saints. Christ lived in Israel, and taught in synagogues.

There are other powers at work in the universe and they are working hard to take a Catholic away from the Church and sacraments and if they can accomplish taking children and grand children out of the Church too, even better.

Agreed. However, the poster is not a practicing Catholic. Marrying a holy Jewish woman - or any holy woman for that matter - could be better for a secular man than not practicing the faith at all.

We just don’t know enough about the situation to provide proper counsel.

 

[Live_with_heath]

If fresh divorced woman can’t tell if ex is alive? He’s Muslim, moved back to Lebanon

 

[Mulligan2]

These are difficult choices. Here are my observations:

1.) First, there is nothing to fear concerning the Jewish faith. Most of our Catholic prayers and traditions are of Jewish origin. Jesus was a Jew, as were his parents and the large majority of his earliest followers. Christ was a devout Jew, keeping the Sabbath, and attending the Jewish feasts. He preached in synagogues, and at the Temple in Jerusalem. If you carefully study Catholicism, the roots of our faith coming from Judaism are very clearly evident.

2.) Many Jews are very devout, religious people, and are to be respected and admired. The Jewish culture emphasizes education, hard work, independence, and strong family values. You’ve obviously fallen in love with a wonderful woman, so your decision is not to be taken lightly. But you couldn’t have chosen a better culture and religious identity from which to consider.

3.) The Church has, in many ways, lost much of its earliest Jewish cultural identity as it appealed to a broader spectrum of non-Jewish believers all over the world. The early Church was very Jewish in outlook, customs, and theology. All of this naturally evolved and changed considerably over time.

4.) Incidentally, there are Hebrew Catholics that are Jewish by ethnicity, but Catholic by faith and still in communion with the Church. Just as there are Polish, Irish, and Italian Catholics, there are also Hebrew Catholics - mostly in Israel. Hebrew Catholics, interestingly enough, also are allowed to keep their Jewish cultural traditions - such as celebrating Passover, wearing phylacteries, etc.

5.) Ultimately, marriage involves raising children, which opens all kinds of questions, many of which are far down the road:

Will the child be baptized?
Will your young boy have a bar mitzah or a confirmation?
Where would you want to send the child to school?
What will you teach your child about Jesus?
How will you celebrate Christmas, or will you celebrate Hanukkah?

You get the idea. You could continue down this line of questioning for some time. These are all difficult questions. Think long-term and play out these future scenarios and try to come to terms with what you would accept, and what you would not.

6.) While love does conquer all, and all is fair in love and war, inter-faith marriages are by their very nature much more challenging. Not impossible, but challenging. The upside is that a Catholic background and a Jewish background have a lot of overlap. Both value family and respect life. Both have strong traditions. There are differences, but there is much in common.

7.) Do you enjoy Jewish culture? Do you find, for example, Jewish music appealing and interesting? How about Jewish food? Would you ever have an interest in visiting Israel? I think part of your decision involves your level of interest in the rich traditions of the Jewish culture. A lot of your time in marriage will be spent with your wife’s family - for marriages, funerals, birthday parties, etc.

8.) Lastly, I would agree with the other posters that I think you need professional consultation. In this case, I would consider consultation from a qualified Catholic priest. Your future wife may also want you to meet with their family’s rabbi, and I would respect her request.

Personal opinion - The Jewish faith is fascinating, and much is to be admired. The same is certainly true for the Catholic faith. Both have amazing positive aspects, but each is different in its own way. At the end of the day, however, we are all God’s creatures, and He loves us whether we are Catholic, Jewish, or any other faith.

God put this woman in your life for a reason. Pray, think long and hard about your decision, and seek professional counsel. These are difficult decisions, but these are also good decisions - life-changing, but wonderful either way at the same time as you make this journey. God bless. Pray.

That is good post.

One thing I would add is that the OP should find out what his Jewish girlfriend thinks about circumcision. An increasing number of new Jewish parents oppose ritual genital cutting, as the following link illustrates: beyondthebris.com/2011/07/brit-shalom-alternative-naming-ceremony.html. However, for the majority of Jewish baby boys, they are still cut when they are 8 days old. If you plan to have children, this could become a very serious point of contention in your relationship if you want to keep your baby boy intact and she (and her family) want him cut.