I've had enough of scrupulosity

[TravisandJill]

Hi just popping in to send prayers and let you know you aren’t alone. I’m going through a pretty bad spell right now (as usually happens when I make a step up in the spiritual life) and what is helping a little is reading a book about Discernment of Spirits. I think the devil likes to mess with us spiritually when he sees us progressing towards God. Maybe get some holy water to use daily also. I know how you feel about the constant questioning. It’s definitely a hard thing to go through and what makes it worse is how people don’t really understand or call it OCD.

 

[justcatholic997]

On the issue of priestly obedience, I have one more question. As it has been stated in this thread, I should obviously obey my priest in whatever he tells me about sin. My question is: How do you get rid of the apprehension when obeying? In my case, I’ve held myself to a high standard in terms of the AMV’s listed above, while my priest advised me to stop worrying about it. I’ve spent so long convincing myself of these ‘sins’ that it makes me feel anxious and guilty if I try and live with the lower standard, even though I know that I should have no qualms about obeying.

 

[roseofshannon]

On the issue of priestly obedience, I have one more question. As it has been stated in this thread, I should obviously obey my priest in whatever he tells me about sin. My question is: How do you get rid of the apprehension when obeying? In my case, I’ve held myself to a high standard in terms of the AMV’s listed above, while my priest advised me to stop worrying about it. I’ve spent so long convincing myself of these ‘sins’ that it makes me feel anxious and guilty if I try and live with the lower standard, even though I know that I should have no qualms about obeying.

I can’t find the source, but I remember reading about St. Therese. She had suffered with scruples because she wanted to please Jesus so badly and was a bit of a perfectionist in the beginning. She would offer up many sacrifices every day and keep track of them with little beads.

After returning from a long walk with her sister she was parched and got a glass of water to drink. Her older sister was preparing Therese for her First Communion and told her that she wanted her to offer up the water as a sacrifice. So Therese went and sat on a chair in the living room and worked through the feelings of disappointment and thirst. She came to acceptance of it and offered it up, feeling good about the sacrifice.

Then her sister came in and told her she now wanted her to drink the entire glass of water. This was somewhat difficult at this point because she didn’t want to undo the sacrifice she had just made. Her sister told her she was teaching her obedience and so Therese gave in and drank the water.

Also, here is a little quote which I found helpful in dealing with scruples:

For, as Saint Philip de Neri so well expresses it: the harder we sweep, the more dust we raise.

 

[porthos11]

On the issue of priestly obedience, I have one more question. As it has been stated in this thread, I should obviously obey my priest in whatever he tells me about sin. My question is: How do you get rid of the apprehension when obeying? In my case, I’ve held myself to a high standard in terms of the AMV’s listed above, while my priest advised me to stop worrying about it. I’ve spent so long convincing myself of these ‘sins’ that it makes me feel anxious and guilty if I try and live with the lower standard, even though I know that I should have no qualms about obeying.

Strangely enough, you get rid of the apprehension when obeying by obeying.

 

[Bookcat]

On the issue of priestly obedience, I have one more question. As it has been stated in this thread, I should obviously obey my priest in whatever he tells me about sin. My question is: How do you get rid of the apprehension when obeying? .

See the quote I sent ya from St. Thomas More…

 

[TruthSeeker92]

Forgive me, but I disagree.

Scrupulosity is often tied to things like OCD, but it should be kept in mind that there is, IMHO, a spectrum of scrupulosity.

Some cases are clearly psychological — for example, driving over a pot hole in the dark, but convincing oneself that the “pot hole” was actually a person who was struck dead. Unfortunate folks like this might absolutely drive themselves to despair worrying about this, despite all advice and reassurance, despite whatever their priest might tell them, despite all evidence to the contrary of their fears.

But other cases are just an inability to distinguish mortal from venial sin, coupled with a fear and anxiety and a pattern of interpreting one’s behavior as negatively and harshly as possible.

Obviously, there’s a psychological component here, but it’s also very, very spiritual, because one of its root causes is just a simple lack of trust in Jesus. It’s also a matter of ignorance: I think a lot of scruples are just a poorly formed conscience that doesn’t know how to look at behavior with the mind of the Church. For example, I take people who ask is this a sin? quite at their word — they don’t know if the act is sinful or not, while many people simply call them scrupulous. I think that’s an abuse of the term.

Anyway, my long-winded point is just that instantly invoking things like OCD can be a bit limiting, especially if a person exhibits no other traits of OCD in other aspects of their life.

Hi,

OK. Whether the OP has OCD or simply scrupulosity I don’t know. The reason why I mentioned OCD is because it is important to explore all the options.

 

[RedBasket]

I was in Confession once, and couldn’t remember all the things I was going to confess, and Father just told me to confess what really stuck out in my mind. I thought that was kind of him.

Praying for you. I went to a retreat a few months ago that radically changed me and my scrupulosity has withered to almost nothing. If you ponder on the life and death of Christ, and believe that He is all loving and all forgiving, then you never need to worry about whether or not you remembered to confess every sin you committed, if something that you thought, said, or did was a sin, if you were living a life honoring God, etc. Why? Do you believe our God is merciful, loving, forgiving, and all knowing? Would you say that to someone suffering and in anguish? Then say it to yourself and believe it.

God knows our inadequacies but he also knows our hearts and true desires to please Him. He forgives us long before we ask for forgiveness because He loves us. Even if we don’t think that we’ve met His expectations, He knows our fervent desire to do so and our continued strife to grow closer to Him.

Overall, I was short-changing God which was the furthest thing from what I wanted to do. I still have my moments but I remember that He knows who I am - He created me, He loves me, and He forgives me. It gives me strength.

I hope you can embrace this relationship with our God and that this has helped in sone small way. Also, if you can attend Euchariatic Adoration - give it a few tries. It is a beautiful opportunity to spend time with Him.

 

[justcatholic997]

TruthSeeker92:

Hi,

OK. Whether the OP has OCD or simply scrupulosity I don’t know. The reason why I mentioned OCD is because it is important to explore all the options.

Compared to other people’s scrupulosity posts here, I think I’m unique in that aspect. Unlike other people with these worries, I use my objective knowledge of sin to stop myself from going over the top with it. However, I am a perfectionist, and fear of hell leads me to worry over things I know aren’t bad. I can objectively know that something isn’t sinful, but worry and fear prevent me from having peace on the issue.

 

[porthos11]

Compared to other people’s scrupulosity posts here, I think I’m unique in that aspect. Unlike other people with these worries, I use my objective knowledge of sin to stop myself from going over the top with it. However, I am a perfectionist, and fear of hell leads me to worry over things I know aren’t bad. I can objectively know that something isn’t sinful, but worry and fear prevent me from having peace on the issue.

Flip side of the same coin. The solution is the same:

1. Obey your confessor unconditionally; and
2. When plagued with fear and doubt, proceed with the assumption that it is not sinful.

 

[TruthSeeker92]

Compared to other people’s scrupulosity posts here, I think I’m unique in that aspect. Unlike other people with these worries, I use my objective knowledge of sin to stop myself from going over the top with it. However, I am a perfectionist, and fear of hell leads me to worry over things I know aren’t bad. I can objectively know that something isn’t sinful, but worry and fear prevent me from having peace on the issue.

Maybe reading books specifically about scrupulosity will help you (if you haven’t already)