Ive lost all faith

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Big_Ben

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This saturday i attended the Easter Vigil at my church. i dont go to church often but when i do something usually reaches me, makes me think, makes me believe more. This time nothing happened. i found myself sitting through the entire service wondering if any of it was true.

The reason i feel this way: I fell in love in august of 08 with a native american girl, Lakota to be specific. I was going to propose to her and i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. In february we were forced to break up, both of us still very much in love, because of her culture. She had been promised to her chief’s son. I love this girl but i cant be with her. I just cant believe in a God who promises eternal happiness when the one woman that i would be happy to spend all eternity with has been torn from me. i want to believe, i just cant anymore
 
Big_Ben said:
This saturday i attended the Easter Vigil at my church. i dont go to church often but when i do something usually reaches me, makes me think, makes me believe more. This time nothing happened. i found myself sitting through the entire service wondering if any of it was true.

The reason i feel this way: I fell in love in august of 08 with a native american girl, Lakota to be specific. I was going to propose to her and i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. In february we were forced to break up, both of us still very much in love, because of her culture. She had been promised to her chief’s son. I love this girl but i cant be with her. I just cant believe in a God who promises eternal happiness when the one woman that i would be happy to spend all eternity with has been torn from me. i want to believe, i just cant anymore
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**Why is it that God gets blamed for everything. Do you think that God meddles in all aspects of our lives like that? That he somehow has us all on a chess board and moves us and our circumstances like pieces on a game board? Things happen in our lives because they happen, sometimes as results of our bad choices, sometimes because of others bad choices. God gave us FREE WILL and He wants us to be free to choose our paths. If you go to church as if you were attending a circus and expecting for the show to be a spectacle that makes you jump in your seat or just to be inspired, you don’t belong in church. We go to the house of God to worship and adore Him, to spend time with Him, not to see what He is serving for dinner or if He is a good party host. As a Catholic I believe my Lord is PRESENT AND ALIVE in the tabernacle. When I step inside the church, I am stepping on HOLY GROUND. If you Big Ben knew the Lord personally as you should, you would believe in eternal happiness and you would not be so sour. You would not have to go to church to be inspired and the loss of a girlfriend would not be the end of the world. **
 
Big_Ben said:
This saturday i attended the Easter Vigil at my church. i dont go to church often but when i do something usually reaches me, makes me think, makes me believe more. This time nothing happened. i found myself sitting through the entire service wondering if any of it was true.

The reason i feel this way: I fell in love in august of 08 with a native american girl, Lakota to be specific. I was going to propose to her and i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. In february we were forced to break up, both of us still very much in love, because of her culture. She had been promised to her chief’s son. I love this girl but i cant be with her. I just cant believe in a God who promises eternal happiness when the one woman that i would be happy to spend all eternity with has been torn from me. i want to believe, i just cant anymore
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Hello,

My condolences, however, I believe you are looking for the wrong thing from God.

To paraphrase one of the Marian apparitions; we are not promised “the happiness of this life, but of the next.” The next life is forever. And while we should certainly appreciate what we are given in this one, we are not promised or guaranteed any of it. Even if the relationship you longed for had been fulfilled, death would one day separate you again.

Think of the ONE whom the Easter Vigil was about: a perfect human being, who gave up his whole self to death, which he did not deserve. HE had all your pain, and then some.

It is ok to “not feel anything” during worship. It’s not meant as an emotional experience. But ask HIM sometime to help you with your pain. It won’t hurt any less, a priori, but you will understand, and be able to move ahead.
God Bless, G EDDIE
 
Big_Ben said:
I just cant believe in a God who promises eternal happiness when the one woman that i would be happy to spend all eternity with has been torn from me. i want to believe, i just cant anymore
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What is your idea of “eternal happiness”? If what you call “eternal happiness” lies in having someone or something that is in this world, then you will be frustrated because everything in this world will come to an end. It is only God who is eternal. If you love God then you will be sure that you will have eternal happiness. If He will be the object of your love then you will be truly happy in this world and the next. Do not love anything or anyone more than Him.

Many people search for things in this world that they think would make them happy. Their concept of God is someone who will give them whatever they want to be happy, and if God doesn’t give what they want, they hate Him. Many people say they love God, but they love God only for their own sakes. How many of us asks God to give us this and that for us to be happy? A lot. But very few are those who ask God “What can I do to make You happy?”, even if that means enduring so much suffering and sacrificing a lot.

True happiness can be found only in uniting your will with God’s Will. A soul that truly loves God sees His Will in everything that happens in his/her life and does everything he/she could to accept it, knowing that it is God who he/she seeks to please and not his/herself or anyone else. In that way the soul learns the virtue of humility and at the same time experiences true happiness and peace.

Desire nothing for yourself, because in doing that, self-love weakens and you will grow from the contemplation of self to the contemplation of God. Only then you will begin to know Who Love really is. Only then you will know what eternal happiness means.

God bless you! 🙂
 
First and foremost i dont look at church as a spectacle or circus. The reason this ‘nothingness’ phased me was because whenever i go to church i to feel that presence of God, and this time i didnt. Also the loss of a girlfriend isnt the end of the world and i know this. I suppose im just left wondering why God would put this girl who i love so much into my life and, in his plan for me, we are made to be apart. I realize that God didnt do this, but for some reason i feel somewhat abandoned (for lack of a better word). As for my relationship with God i take mild offense to the fact that im being told my relationship with Him is weak. Ive always had a strong relationship with God and, although i may not go to church every week, i do do my best tto worship him in the things i do each day. I thank God for everything that i have and relaize that without him nothing is possible. Ive always turned to God during tough times and doing so has helped me immensley. But as i said,why would God would put this girl who i love so much into my life and, in his plan for me, we are made to be apart? i apologize for my stuborness, Im only trying to make sense of this separation i feel from God.
 
Big_Ben said:
First and foremost i dont look at church as a spectacle or circus. The reason this ‘nothingness’ phased me was because whenever i go to church i to feel that presence of God, and this time i didnt. Also the loss of a girlfriend isnt the end of the world and i know this. I suppose im just left wondering why God would put this girl who i love so much into my life and, in his plan for me, we are made to be apart. I realize that God didnt do this, but for some reason i feel somewhat abandoned (for lack of a better word). As for my relationship with God i take mild offense to the fact that im being told my relationship with Him is weak. Ive always had a strong relationship with God and, although i may not go to church every week, i do do my best tto worship him in the things i do each day. I thank God for everything that i have and relaize that without him nothing is possible. Ive always turned to God during tough times and doing so has helped me immensley. But as i said,why would God would put this girl who i love so much into my life and, in his plan for me, we are made to be apart? i apologize for my stuborness, Im only trying to make sense of this separation i feel from God.
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O Big Ben, worship Christ, Christ Himself called to the Father, ‘Remove this bitter cup from Me’; still He drank it. Christ Himself died on the cross for us to have eternal life happiness. I believe every human endure the burden and struggle of everyday life. But one day for sure His kingdom come, then all will be well, Big Ben, be strong take heart. Just believe and pray, all will be well. I am headache and so sleepy now. but I prayed for you -
 
There have been numerous such people whining about their loves on this forum even in the short time I’ve been here. If you’ve come for advice on how to ask a girl out, sure, but when things go wrong, just forget her and go after someone else with a prettier face or nicer legs or whatever feature that you like.

About God… have you ever thought that he might have something even better than that girl to give you? Maybe the priesthood? Maybe a better girl? Who knows?
 
my prayers and sympathy are with you, and I realize it is hard to think clearly when love is uppermost in your mind. I would like to offer if I can a thought that may help you put this in perspective. Presumably before writing this, you were or are CAtholic and believed and held all that the Catholic Church teaches. Since falling in love with this lady, you are for whatever reason questioning now these beliefs. From your post it appears that specifically you are questioning the revealed word of God, the Creator of the universe, the great I AM, proclaimed in Easter readings, and in the saving action of Jesus Christ as demonstrated in the Easter sacraments, since your dilemma came to a head at the EAster Vigil. Against this, you are weighing the man-made laws and customs of this young lady’s culture.

You are also weighing the supreme love demonstrated by Christ for all the peoples of the world, past present and future, against the objective love of two human beings for each other, and giving them equal weight. Moreover you admit that this human love is colored at least in part by selfish considerations on the part of each party, not by the standard of Divine Love.

You are also operating under a grave fallacy, that God has created and designated for all time a specific man for a specific woman and vice versa. While that is a nice romantic idea, and may even be true at specific times in history–Isaac and Rebecca, Tobias and Sarah, Mary and Joseph–there is no basis for the belief that this is generally true. Just because I love a person deeply does not mean he is the one and only person God planned for me to marry.

I feel sure that if you return to prayer and the sacraments, even and most especially in this dark time, you will come to find God’s will for you in this matter as in all areas of your life, and wish you well.
 
Ben I am sad to hear that you are feeling so much sadness. Everything seems colourless and you don’t have some of the feelings you used to have before you became depressed. It’s not unusual when you’re in that state not to have normal feelings about other things.

It is sad when you are disappointed in love, but it was people who took this girl away from you, not God. I hope and pray that you find your healing from depression and find someone whom you can love, as it’s a myth that there is only one person we can ever be happy with. You don’t think that it true at the moment. You haven’t accepted that the girl already had been promised to someone else and so cannot be with you. Knowing that she was promised to someone else, it is very sad that she didn’t protect you by avoiding getting involved with you. Effectively she was like a person engaged to someone else already, according to her culture. This shows anyway that she wasn’t in God’s plan for you. You just hoped she was.

As has been said, it was people who decided that she was to marry another, before she ever met you, God did not decide that.

And in heaven it is never just one person that we will love eternally with all our hearts, it will be every person.

I will keep you in my prayers. I hope that you will find healing and hope and happiness with someone who only belongs with you and who loves you dearly.
 
A lot of whats been said here makes sense but let me just say one thing is this girls defense: She didnt know she had been promised to her Chief’s son. Knowing her she would have avoided getting involved had she known. It took me all night to think about this and i realize ive blown this up to be something bigger than it really is. Its goona be the hardest thing ive ever done to get over this girl. I guess i dont blame God, i just wish that there was something he could do.

She actually had a philosophy that she lived by that still comforts me: There are thousands upon thousands of religions, but each religion is simply a different road to the same glorious mountain top.

I believe that and i hope that one were both finally in the Kingdom that i can be with her, maybe not physically but spiritually
 
Big_Ben said:
A lot of whats been said here makes sense but let me just say one thing is this girls defense: She didnt know she had been promised to her Chief’s son. Knowing her she would have avoided getting involved had she known. It took me all night to think about this and i realize ive blown this up to be something bigger than it really is. Its goona be the hardest thing ive ever done to get over this girl. I guess i dont blame God, i just wish that there was something he could do.

She actually had a philosophy that she lived by that still comforts me: There are thousands upon thousands of religions, but each religion is simply a different road to the same glorious mountain top.

I believe that and i hope that one were both finally in the Kingdom that i can be with her, maybe not physically but spiritually
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That’s really sad that she didn’t know either. I’m sure she’s mourning just as much as you are. 😦
 
The first commandment is to love God above anything else, if you lose your faith because of a broken relationship you are placing that relationship above God. Remember Abraham and Isaac, remember Mary and Jesus, nobody’s love should take you away from God.

When we pray the Our father Prayer we say: “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Remember that is God’s will, not ours we pray for.

We may want something (or someone) and we may think that it is the best for us, but we are not as wise as only God can be. I can say from my own experience that when things were not as I wanted God had a better plan for me, and I remember how bad it hurt at that time when I did not understand it, but time proved there was not reason to be mad at God.
 
I can maybe add something.
25 years ago I was engaged to be married. This woman I thought would be my wife suddenly had a change of heart about me and broke the engagement/wedding. I mourned for a couple of years, dated sparingly, but no woman seemed to be the equal of my former fiancee.
Then one day, when I least expected it, I met another woman who was my perfect partner. We have been happily married, faithful, raised a child, and attend Mass every week.
I don’t know why the marriage to the first woman didn’t work out. But I’m thankful that it didn’t. I was probably saved alot of pain.
Don’t give up. Someone is out there for you.
 
thanks all. I had my doubts about making this thread but it helped quite a bit actually. Thanks again and any further advice, should anyone have any, is much appreciated.
 
Peace be with you Big Ben

" Ive lost all faith" From reading you reply , I am ? in those word of your.
If you lost it you would not even be posting this!
God still love you, and waiting for you with all his love and Mercy.
continue praying for you.

God bless.
easter1
 
I pretty much agree with the notion that if you had really lost ALL faith you wouldn’t be so mad at God, so you at least have a mustard seed full left.
As for the girl…if she really had loved you she would have left her parents and she would have come with you, since she didn’t she’s not the right one and that’s that.
It’s time to move on and realize how many beautiful Catholic girls are LONGING to be with
a person like you and it’s your job to seek them out.

Do you know how HARD it is for a woman to find a good man?
 
God bless you, Ben

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners
 
As for the girl…if she really had loved you she would have left her parents and she would have come with you, since she didn’t she’s not the right one and that’s that.
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Actually this is a very naive statement showing you know nothing about arranged marriages. Had you read Ben’s first post you would have seen she is Native American, which also means American Indian, and she was promised to the chieftan’s son. In many arranged marriages, which is still a common practice in India and throughout the Middle East and Asia, there is usually much more involved than just her and him…had she run away with Ben her family would been disgraced at the very least and quite possibly in mortal danger…not often does one dis the tribal cheiftan without suffering the consequences…
Do you know how HARD it is for a woman to find a good man?
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About as difficult as it is for a man to find a good woman…? 😉
TracyJ said:
I pretty much agree with the notion that if you had really lost ALL faith you wouldn’t be so mad at God, so you at least have a mustard seed full left.
As for the girl…if she really had loved you she would have left her parents and she would have come with you, since she didn’t she’s not the right one and that’s that.
It’s time to move on and realize how many beautiful Catholic girls are LONGING to be with
a person like you and it’s your job to seek them out.

Do you know how HARD it is for a woman to find a good man?
Click to expand...
 
maddmaxx1200 said:
Actually this is a very naive statement showing you know nothing about arranged marriages. Had you read Ben’s first post you would have seen she is Native American, which also means American Indian, and she was promised to the chieftan’s son. In many arranged marriages, which is still a common practice in India and throughout the Middle East and Asia, there is usually much more involved than just her and him…had she run away with Ben her family would been disgraced at the very least and quite possibly in mortal danger…not often does one dis the tribal cheiftan without suffering the consequences…

About as difficult as it is for a man to find a good woman…? 😉
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She didn’t love him enough to risk losing her mother and father and tribe, to forsake all others.
Her ethnic background is irrelevant because many women have married “outside” their
group because they loved the man…these things tend to work out. My own bro is a
white American who married a Buddhist Japanese woman and they worked it out.
As soon as the babies started coming her parents forgave her and wanted in on her life.
Now that I think of it, it wasn’t just love, it was trust that he would take care of her as well…
This woman lives in America, not the Mid East, your point would be valid IF she lived in the
Mid East but I haven’t read lately about Native Americans killing off their kids because
they married the wrong person, if you know of any please let me know, I’m all ears and eyes.
Yes, it’s hard for a man to find a good woman but probably worth the effort.
My guess that he has greater base to choose from than she does, but I could be wrong.
 
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