I've sinned, but may not go to confession

[Epistemes]

I’ve sinned again against purity. It’s obvious that I have no real intention to stop as I seem to cause the triggers and gives in to the triggers. Since I’ve walked the walk and talked the talk of abstention, what else is there but the grace of Christ which I am willingly choosing not to rely on? It’s a hard choice because I want to go to confession, but I believe that going would be a farce.

I’m only really typing this so that I can ask for your prayers. Please pray that I find true contrition in my heart, not the opportunistic contrition that I’ve seemingly relied on for so long now, and that I can actually rely on the grace of Jesus to help me.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

My dear friend

God only expects you do your best. If you fail get back up straight away. God is not so fussed with our sins as we think. He just wants to see us struggle and try and He’s pleased with us. He made us this way because He loves us as we are with all our faults. He did not have to create us you know. God is an easy touch. He’ll do anything for you if He thinks you do or will love Him. He is not watching us waiting for the chance to condemn us. He is Love and can only love us. Try to picture God like a little baby full of love smiling at you as you tickle him. This gives an idea of how God sees us. Don’t worry if you think you don’t have enough contrition. True sorrow is in the will, not the emotions. Your desire to do right that you express here is the thing God looks at and wants the most. If you have this you please Him. Hang in there.

I’m for you tp http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL145/2151452/6065200/256491305.jpg dear friend.

May the most pure Mother of God, and our Blessed Mother, comfort you, strengten you, assist you in your struggle, strengten you and bring you home.
John

 

[True_Believer_1]

Good God Man, Get Ahold of Yourself!

I honestly believe that our Heavenly Father will continue to forgive our sins, no matter how many times that we may back-slide, as long as we continue to repent and do not stop trying to improve. After all, did not our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ see all of our sins and accept that yoke? Did He not die so that we could be saved? Did he not rise so that we could believe in and accept the salvation?

Do not stop confessing! There is great grace in that simple act. Do not stop trying, God will help–in His time and in His way, do not presume to be more wise then the Father. He knows you even better then you know yourself and he can see all the good that does exist in you, even if you are having trouble seeing it for yourself.

May the Good Lord Bless You and Keep You, and May You Have the Love of the Blessed Mother in Your Heart and the Steel of the Holy Spirit in Your Spine.

NOT JUST STRONG…CATHOLIC STRONG!!!

 

[withwind]

If you got yourself posting that you have sinned, why not confess to the One who could forgive sins … not just to the ones who can pray.

At this point, Satan works hard to discourage you more than to tempt you. Don’t let this discouragement to stop you from experiencing the love of God.

 

[acadian]

My pastor is fond of saying that “despair is the devil’s sandbox”. And you don’t want to play there!

That feeling of WANTING to go to confession is God’s grace acting in your life. Don’t turn your back on that!

God is big enough to forgive you - again and again and again.

 

[Epistemes]

At this point, Satan works hard to discourage you more than to tempt you. Don’t let this discouragement to stop you from experiencing the love of God.

Ya know, for once, I’m not despairing. I was asked to take a long, hard look at myself, at my true conviction to love and be obedient to my Jesus, and it’s true, I’m all talk, no action. Week after week I commit sins against purity, knowing it’s wrong, knowing what I need to do in order to stop, knowing that I willingly push away the grace which I can feel Jesus give, and I go to confession in order to “take a bath,” so to speak, cleanse off the stink for 36-48 hours, and then get soiled again. I recognize that my sinfulness will cause me to always sin, that I’ll never be above sinning, but the fact of the matter is that I’m not trying, that I’m obviously not expressing true contrition, and that, well, I don’t truly love Jesus (though I don’t doubt his love for me).

 

[Eucharisted]

hug

I know how you feel. I fight against impurity myself, and I fail so much. I pray for Jesus to give me the graces I need and to help me rely on His graces and to cultivate virtue in my soul for my salvation and for His sake and to give me true contrition and hope in the Lord. It is only by God’s Mercy that I am not in Hell right now! May He help me to love Him more and become a saint - not for glory or reward but for He Himself, my life and joy and love. But these words are nothing unless I live them, and I try, but only by the grace of Jesus.

 

[Steave]

True Recipie to Find purity of Heart.

1. GO TO CONFESSION, this is very important, every time you confess your sin you become stronger against it.
2. Go go daily mass. Having the presence of Jesus Christ in you body daily will help give you the grace to find purity.
3. Eucharistic adoration, icing on the cake, not complete without it, in your times between mass go and speak to our lord and find what he has in store for you.

I PROMISE UPON ALLL MY HEART THAT THIS WILL WORK I find myself now in a state of purity after just 5 months, after being an adict as well.

I will pray for you, Glory to God

 

[withwind]

Ya know, for once, I’m not despairing. I was asked to take a long, hard look at myself, at my true conviction to love and be obedient to my Jesus, and it’s true, I’m all talk, no action. Week after week I commit sins against purity, knowing it’s wrong, knowing what I need to do in order to stop, knowing that I willingly push away the grace which I can feel Jesus give, and I go to confession in order to “take a bath,” so to speak, cleanse off the stink for 36-48 hours, and then get soiled again. I recognize that my sinfulness will cause me to always sin, that I’ll never be above sinning, but the fact of the matter is that I’m not trying, that I’m obviously not expressing true contrition, and that, well, I don’t truly love Jesus (though I don’t doubt his love for me).

If I were not far from you, we both could’ve gone to confession at once. From your answer, I could agree with the other poster that you are actually receiving God’s blessing to recognize your sins. God knows you will sin it again, and He is willing to forgive you not just 7 times.

I could agree with you that you might always sins, but with God’s grace, you could avoid mortal sins. If you are not sinning at all, you are a living Saint. Have you met/known anyone who does not sin at all?

 

[MarieVeronica]

Ya know, for once, I’m not despairing. I was asked to take a long, hard look at myself, at my true conviction to love and be obedient to my Jesus, and it’s true, I’m all talk, no action…

“Ep” My humble suggestion would be that you then… offer your weakness to Our Lord and place this in His Merciful Heart.

I’m not suggesting that this action will somehow “excuse” the sin. It won’t. But it sounds like you’re submitting the problem to Him, already. That’s a step in the right direction.

But please, my friend… do not abandon the Sacrament of Penance OR the Sacrament of the Eucharist. Frequent them… OFTEN. For they are truly the conduits of grace… which help us to overcome our sins. Find a priest that you can explain your difficulty to. And work with him. He will understand that you are trying to get past this obstacle… and that you are likely to fall down again. What you need is a really great Confessor. And believe me… they ARE out there.

You remain in my prayers, “Ep”. God bless you.

MV

 

[Epistemes]

hug

I know how you feel. I fight against impurity myself, and I fail so much. I pray for Jesus to give me the graces I need and to help me rely on His graces and to cultivate virtue in my soul for my salvation and for His sake and to give me true contrition and hope in the Lord. It is only by God’s Mercy that I am not in Hell right now! May He help me to love Him more and become a saint - not for glory or reward but for He Himself, my life and joy and love. But these words are nothing unless I live them, and I try, but only by the grace of Jesus.

If I can be honest, I must admit that I don’t fear Hell anymore. What I fear is offending Jesus, taking advantage of him, not loving him properly, etc. - but this is what I do regardless, so, again, I am just talk. Maybe the only thing I actually fear is, being a perfectionist, imperfection.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Ya know, for once, I’m not despairing. I was asked to take a long, hard look at myself, at my true conviction to love and be obedient to my Jesus, and it’s true, I’m all talk, no action. Week after week I commit sins against purity, knowing it’s wrong, knowing what I need to do in order to stop, knowing that I willingly push away the grace which I can feel Jesus give, and I go to confession in order to “take a bath,” so to speak, cleanse off the stink for 36-48 hours, and then get soiled again. I recognize that my sinfulness will cause me to always sin, that I’ll never be above sinning, but the fact of the matter is that I’m not trying, that I’m obviously not expressing true contrition, and that, well, I don’t truly love Jesus (though I don’t doubt his love for me).

My dear friend

Do not worry if your sorrow is imperfect. Just pray for perfect contrition and take what your given and just do your best. When we’re really sick we don’t hesitate to go to the doctor. If we’re sick we don’t say I’ll wait to get better. It’s the same with our soul.We need the soul doctor if we’re spiritually sick - the confessor. A desire to love Jesus is enough. Even if you have no desire, just pray, and do your best. Apart from Him we can do nothing. We rely on God to do any good at all. Try to look at your positives and not just sins. There is a lot of good in everyone and you. God died for you He loves you so much. He died for all us sinners in spite of everything. Just ask for the grace you need in my opinion. Focus on the positives and see the good in yourself and don’t despair if God wants a more humble person. We will be extremely surprised and filled with wonder when we see what God was up to in our lives later I imagine. Just trust God, have a good desire and do your best. God will take care of you and make sure you get to heaven. I’m praying for you.

Holy Mother Mary, Your son is in need, take care of him:thumbsup:
John

 

[Epistemes]

FInd a priest that you can explain your difficulty to. And work with him. He will understand that you are trying to get past this obstacle… and that you are likely to fall down again. What you need is a really great Confessor. And believe me… they ARE out there.

It’s interesting that you say that because part of the reason why I was asked to take a long, hard look at myself was because I tried relieving myself of any guilt by saying that my regular confessors have been somewhat permissive, recognizing the sin as habit, etc. Regardless of whether or not it is a habit, regardless of any actual “history,” the desire is still firmly rooted in my heart. The thing is, I could say all of that to the old priest who sees me week after week, and he’ll just say something on a tangent, tell me I’m a good person, tell me to rely on the holy Spirit, and send me on my way without any penance. I don’t think I’m exagerrating. It’s a shame I live in an area with such a small Catholic presence. There are only 3 parishes where I live.

 

[Joyful_1]

It’s interesting that you say that because part of the reason why I was asked to take a long, hard look at myself was because I tried relieving myself of any guilt by saying that my regular confessors have been somewhat permissive, recognizing the sin as habit, etc. Regardless of whether or not it is a habit, regardless of any actual “history,” the desire is still firmly rooted in my heart. The thing is, I could say all of that to the old priest who sees me week after week, and he’ll just say something on a tangent, tell me I’m a good person, tell me to rely on the holy Spirit, and send me on my way without any penance. I don’t think I’m exagerrating. It’s a shame I live in an area with such a small Catholic presence. There are only 3 parishes where I live.

Do you have a spiritual director? I don’t know where you live, but surely, if you drive far enough and do enough searching, you can find a priest who is able to help you.

Believe me, I am having trouble of a similar sort. I have a sin that I continually fall into and every night I’m on my knees on my bedroom floor asking for the grace to overcome it. I know He hears me and that He is going to help me, but it isn’t like all of a sudden I’m going to wake up one morning perfectly clean. The struggle against sin is one of the hardest struggles in the world because it goes against our nature. We have to be continually putting down our fleshly desires.

I might suggest fasting as a way to train yourself in self control.

 

[Epistemes]

Believe me, I am having trouble of a similar sort. I have a sin that I continually fall into and every night I’m on my knees on my bedroom floor asking for the grace to overcome it. I know He hears me and that He is going to help me, but it isn’t like all of a sudden I’m going to wake up one morning perfectly clean. The struggle against sin is one of the hardest struggles in the world because it goes against our nature. We have to be continually putting down our fleshly desires.

It’s obvious that you’re a much better person than I as I only ask for the grace to overcome it when I’m not tempted or after having already sinned. It seems that I’ve intentionally not learned my lesson.

Do you wanna know something? This exact same issue came up late in 2007, only 6 months after my confirmation, and I just stopped going to Mass, stopped praying, etc., and started hanging out late at nights, getting seriously drunk, and going to strip clubs. I feel the same thing coming over me again. In fact, the urge to just get back to where I was about a year ago, hanging out with my friends at the bars, saying whatever I want to say, doing whatever I want to do, is so strong in me today that I don’t know what’s stopping me – except the expense, perhaps. For someone who feels like he’s 17 years old most of the time, and who doesn’t take responsibility for himself or his actions, what else should I or anyone else expect?

 

[Joyful_1]

It’s obvious that you’re a much better person than I as I only ask for the grace to overcome it when I’m not tempted or after having already sinned. It seems that I’ve intentionally not learned my lesson.

Do you wanna know something? This exact same issue came up late in 2007, only 6 months after my confirmation, and I just stopped going to Mass, stopped praying, etc., and started hanging out late at nights, getting seriously drunk, and going to strip clubs. I feel the same thing coming over me again. In fact, the urge to just get back to where I was about a year ago, hanging out with my friends at the bars, saying whatever I want to say, doing whatever I want to do, is so strong in me today that I don’t know what’s stopping me – except the expense, perhaps. For someone who feels like he’s 17 years old most of the time, and who doesn’t take responsibility for himself or his actions, what else should I or anyone else expect?

I am not a better person than you. I do not repent when I am sinning. I repent after the fact. It makes me very upset when, at the end of the day, I look at myself and see that I am doing exactly what I didn’t want to do. My flesh overrides my spirit. I can tell that I am pushing away grace in order to do what I want to do. In order to fix this, I need to put down my flesh through fasting and penance. I feel like a hypocrit because I tell you what I need to be doing and then don’t do it. However, I feel it needs to be said. It’s really tough, but keep up the fight. It will be worth it in the end, I promise.

 

[Belle10]

Good God Man, Get Ahold of Yourself!

I honestly believe that our Heavenly Father will continue to forgive our sins, no matter how many times that we may back-slide, as long as we continue to repent and do not stop trying to improve. After all, did not our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ see all of our sins and accept that yoke? Did He not die so that we could be saved? Did he not rise so that we could believe in and accept the salvation?

Do not stop confessing! There is great grace in that simple act. Do not stop trying, God will help–in His time and in His way, do not presume to be more wise then the Father. He knows you even better then you know yourself and he can see all the good that does exist in you, even if you are having trouble seeing it for yourself.

May the Good Lord Bless You and Keep You, and May You Have the Love of the Blessed Mother in Your Heart and the Steel of the Holy Spirit in Your Spine.

NOT JUST STRONG…CATHOLIC STRONG!!!

If you got yourself posting that you have sinned, why not confess to the One who could forgive sins … not just to the ones who can pray.

At this point, Satan works hard to discourage you more than to tempt you. Don’t let this discouragement to stop you from experiencing the love of God.

My pastor is fond of saying that “despair is the devil’s sandbox”. And you don’t want to play there!

That feeling of WANTING to go to confession is God’s grace acting in your life. Don’t turn your back on that!

God is big enough to forgive you - again and again and again.

If I can be honest, I must admit that I don’t fear Hell anymore. What I fear is offending Jesus, taking advantage of him, not loving him properly, etc. - but this is what I do regardless, so, again, I am just talk. Maybe the only thing I actually fear is, being a perfectionist, imperfection.

Epistemes, I’m so sorry things are rough for you again. :hug1: What disturbs me most is what you wrote above – that you no longer fear hell. Satan has numbed your feelings here – you **should **fear hell, and if you don’t, that’s not good. It’s good that you fear hurting Jesus…which I guess is more important than fearing hell…maybe that’s what you’re getting at? Anyway, Jesus knows we will keep falling. He fell several times Himself while carrying the cross, remember? He saw us, each of us, in this very moment, from the cross, saw us falling in sin over and over, and still chose to die for us. He chooses to give us forgiveness and grace in Confession over and over, as long as we honestly meet Him there. Don’t avoid Confession (that’s what Satan wants you to do!).

Praying for you friend. :hug1:

 

[Epistemes]

Epistemes, I’m so sorry things are rough for you again. :hug1: What disturbs me most is what you wrote above – that you no longer fear hell. Satan has numbed your feelings here – you **should **fear hell, and if you don’t, that’s not good. It’s good that you fear hurting Jesus…which I guess is more important than fearing hell…maybe that’s what you’re getting at? Anyway, Jesus knows we will keep falling. He fell several times Himself while carrying the cross, remember? He saw us, each of us, in this very moment, from the cross, saw us falling in sin over and over, and still chose to die for us. He chooses to give us forgiveness and grace in Confession over and over, as long as we honestly meet Him there. Don’t avoid Confession (that’s what Satan wants you to do!).

Well, I did go to confession today.

Though, let me just say, I *am *getting tired of going. I think the old priest who is there is also getting tired of seeing me and hearing me go on and on about the same thing week after week. And, well, I’m tired of getting advice that lacks in clarity: I think he sees something within me that I don’t see, but he just isn’t telling me for lack of words or something. It’s frustrating. I really, really wish I had a good confessor and/or spiritual director who would tell me something! (It’s just, what if I’ve been told it all before?)

 

[Belle10]

Well, I did go to confession today.

Though, let me just say, I *am *getting tired of going. I think the old priest who is there is also getting tired of seeing me and hearing me go on and on about the same thing week after week. And, well, I’m tired of getting advice that lacks in clarity: I think he sees something within me that I don’t see, but he just isn’t telling me for lack of words or something. It’s frustrating. I really, really wish I had a good confessor and/or spiritual director who would tell me something! (It’s just, what if I’ve been told it all before?)

I’m so glad you went to confession!

Like others have suggested, hopefully you can find a spiritual advisor to help you on your journey. I have myself sometimes felt like I wanted more specific counsel but I guess the “regular” confessional isn’t always the place/time for it (?)…

Just try to remember that it is Jesus Himself in the confessional speaking through the priest. He told St. Faustina that “the priest is but a screen” for Him, and that He is there. So, if He is not being too hard on you or imposing lengthy penances that *you *think are necessary, try to trust Him. I do think that spiritual direction might be a good idea (based on things you’ve posted in the past) but remember that we are called to go to tHim with childlike trust…

I’m sorry if I’m rambling, it’s late! I’m just happy I’ve had some time this evening to post (I don’t get much time to myself anymore!).

Anyway, prayers friend. :hug1:

 

[Elizabeth502]

Well, I did go to confession today.

Though, let me just say, I *am *getting tired of going. I think the old priest who is there is also **getting tired of seeing me **and hearing me go on and on about **the same thing week after week. ** And, well, I’m **tired of getting advice **that lacks in clarity: I think he sees something within me that I don’t see, but he just isn’t telling me for lack of words or something. It’s frustrating. I really, really wish I had a good confessor and/or spiritual director who would tell me something! (It’s just, what if I’ve been told it all before?)//QUOTE]

Epistemes, I bolded the phrases that indicate despair, and I agree with another poster who described despair as the devil’s sandbox. Sins of the flesh in particular are the devil’s playground, so at the moment he’s winning this game inside you with a two-punch.

Strategy: a 911 call to Mary. She’s Queen of Purity as well as refuge of the desperate. (Just ask Fr. Corapi. ) Approach Mary for help with your despair. It’s the despair that’s refueling the sins against purity. She may indeed lead you to a spiritual director, as others recommend for you. Pray to Mary with confidence, brother. I’ll pray for you today at Mass.