IYO: Are Catholic weak on fellowship?

[Peter_J]

Fixed.

Except you neglected to mention that you’re my *separated *brother. (And in case you’re thinking of saying “No, you’re *my *separated brother” let me preemptively say “No, you’re *my *separated brother.”)

 

[LutheranScholar]

Except you neglected to mention that you’re my *separated *brother. (And in case you’re thinking of saying “No, you’re *my *separated brother” let me preemptively say “No, you’re *my *separated brother.”)

Okay. I’m your Separatist brother. Separated brother. Whatever.

 

[Peter_J]

Okay. I’m your Separatist brother. Separated brother. Whatever.

No, you’re *my *separated brother.

Edit: Shoot, I thought you were going to say “You’re my separated brother.”

 

[LutheranScholar]

No, you’re *my *separated brother.

Edit: Shoot, I thought you were going to say “You’re my separated brother.”

Big week. Times change.

 

[Peter_J]

But getting back to the topic …

Amen to that!

Thanks JD. Anyhow, I think the main answer is, it’s complicated. For one thing, there are some who are simply not interested in e.g. Coffee Hour, or decide that the timing isn’t convenient, then there are some who directly oppose it as a matter of righteousness.

 

[TC3033]

Comparing fellowship in Protestantism and Catholicism is more like apple and orange. In the Catholic church, it is mass and liturgy, where people do not only come to pray but want to be in reverent atmosphere of praying where chit-chatting would neutralize this disposition among the worshippers. The church is deemed as a place of reverence holiness and chit-chatting there is frowned upon or disturbs the others who need the silence and reverence atmosphere.

Also fellowship in Protestant churches may not be as good it appeared to be, while fellowship in the Catholic churches is not as bad as what people deem it to be.

I don’t think that when people are talking about in the midst of mass or in the sanctuary itself.

Personally, I’ve seen it more outside of church than inside. KofC was brought up earlier, the thing about that (and other groups like it), is it excludes the non-Catholic spouses so we (I) don’t have that option anyway. My wife and kids have been invited to church gatherings and festivals, but I’m not. I find that a strange way to fellowship.

From my point of view as a protestant, and experiences as the non-Catholic spouse, what seems to be more of a community of exclusion vs. inclusion isn’t the way I grew up with fellowship. I think that’s one way people say Catholics are weak on it.

But, like what was said up thread, and I agree with it, I’m sure that can depend on where you’re at, how small the church is, and the demographic.

 

[Michael68]

Unsubscribing. I fear this turning in to a bashing thread on those mean old Catholics.

 

[Peter_J]

I don’t think that when people are talking about in the midst of mass or in the sanctuary itself.

Personally, I’ve seen it more outside of church than inside. KofC was brought up earlier, the thing about that (and other groups like it), is it excludes the non-Catholic spouses so we (I) don’t have that option anyway. My wife and kids have been invited to church gatherings and festivals, but I’m not. I find that a strange way to fellowship.

From my point of view as a protestant, and experiences as the non-Catholic spouse, what seems to be more of a community of exclusion vs. inclusion isn’t the way I grew up with fellowship. I think that’s one way people say Catholics are weak on it.

But, like what was said up thread, and I agree with it, I’m sure that can depend on where you’re at, how small the church is, and the demographic.

The post you quoted is similar to things I’ve heard from some Catholics I know. (Well slightly similar anyhow, not word-for-word or anything. Like if asked “Does you parish have a coffee hour?” or “Are you going to stay for coffee hour?” and they respond with a description of what happens during the mass, or say “Coffee hour!? I go there for mass.” or something like that.)

As far as your wife and kids being invited to church gatherings and festivals, and you being excluded … well I think I’ve previously expressed my disagreement with the parish treating you that way, but it bears repeating. And I would add that I’m pretty sure that 9 out of 10 of the parishes in my area would never do that to you.

 

[PJM]

Training
Culture
Desire for privacy

And a displaced dislike for perceived phoniness.

Let me explain that last statement.

My family is an “in your face” loud, talkative, fun loving, expressive and very loving family.

I married into a taciturn (to say the least) family. I always walked around with my foot in my mouth, to loud, to open, to expressive.

It took years for me to learn and understand that my husband’s family is every bit as loving and caring as mine. I have learn to love them on their level and they have put up with me with the same care and love.

In addition to that I grew up in the “fellowship” of a Protestant Church. No one was phony. When I became a Catholic the atmosphere is different - no doubt about it. But, the people are just as kind and just as loving. (I have been working on them too and they also put up with me and my loud mouth with compassion)

GREAT post, thanks1

God Bless you!

 

[PJM]

Having visited many parishes for Mass, Stations of the Cross, and other activities these have been my observations:
– No one knows the person sitting next to them.
– If I introduce myself to the person next to me, they freak out and try to run away.
– A large portion of the congregants do leave before the end of Mass and other activities.
– If I ask why they don’t get to know each other or support each other, my question is met with hostility of “that’s for weak Protestants!” Examples of this sentiment can be found even on this thread.

While I too find this largely and SADLY to be true, I have also seen a great many friendships come through Mass assocuitions, especially at Daily Mass.

The reason for this “seperatness” though has a theological foundation.

Catholic Worship is DIVINE, Godly worship. we are there for HIM, not so much for fellowship… Because Jesus IS really, Truly and substantially PRESENT to us; all eslae is rightly secondary.

.\But I would point out also that the period before Mass, the amountb of TALKING and fellowship used to disturb me; NOT so much any more, for I see it NOW as fellowship with fellow Christians who otherwise might not get the chance to have such.

ALSO e’very Parrish I have been Blessed to eb associated with [15-20] over the years has womens organization and men’s organizations that stress Christian Fellowship OUTSIDE of the Mass., ; so that anyone seeking fellowship has these opportunists {schedules permitting} to get what they seek.

Thank YOU for sharing, truly appreciated

Patrick {the OP}

God Bless you

 

[TC3033]

Unsubscribing. I fear this turning in to a bashing thread on those mean old Catholics.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

 

[PJM]

100% Yes, are we weak on fellowship.

Years ago in my parish, I was encouraged to join the K.O.C. The representative was an hour late, and then balked at the fact I didn’t want to sign up then and there telling me that
," it takes a lot of time to explain all this". I never felt more discouraged in my life. Added, when given an event calendar, there was only a charity 3point basketball contest, and a lone donut sale after a Mass.

Then there is the opposite side of the spectrum with a younger adult group. They meet only once a month at a trendy brewhouse and discuss the Church. However, the conversation is so one-sided with some, plus the fact that people are drinking, well it’s quite a turn off.

Other than that, there is nothing on the horizon.

WOW! Lets pray for them

Please see my post $70

God Bless you, and thanks for sahring

 

[PJM]

I don’t know how big Churches are run but there many ways in my Church to be connected.

Choir
Mission out reach
Soup Kitchens
Helping with the Children

Offering to help keep the grounds beautiful
Be part of the Alter and Rosary Society

There are many internal things that need many hands - like setting up chairs and putting chairs away.

It might take some investigation and often you will run into people who have territorial instincts but if one is tactful they are easy to work around.

Perhaps offer to help with the office with the bulletin or help stuff envelopes. There are lots of mind numbing things secretaries do. They sure enjoy help and company when they are stuffing envelopes and similar chores.

THANKS for the “aseek and you shall find” wittness:thumbsup:

 

[PJM]

yup.

It could be due to the “asian-ness” here (i live in an asian country-chinese,malays,indians etc)-tourists usually tell us that we are too reserved/we don’t talk to people we don’t know

but unless we are in a group (bible study, choir, etc), I personally find it weird to talk to others after mass or something. I usually sit alone in mass and leave alone, nobody really acknowledges each other besides the ‘sign of peace’.

in a protestant church event, I realised how friendly everyone was to people they have never met. It was really nice.

But like the other poster said, it is up to the people.
My parish has started “neighbourhood gatherings” where someone hosts a gathering at his/her place each week but introverts like me won’t bother attending even if they are desperate for fellowship. fellowship happens when the people start trying to make it happen.

AMEN!

God Bless you

 

[PJM]

Catholics also tend to have lots of Catholic Fellowship activities on the diocesan or “regional” level

Here in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia we have Catholic only fellowship / networking groups (just to name a few of them):
Catholic Business Professionals Network
Catholic Professionals
Catholic Lawyers Group
Many lay Third Orders
The PHILO Club (Catholic Philopatrian Literary Institute)
Malvern Men (who meet at the Malvern Retreat Center - a large Catholic Retreat center
The Malvern Retreat Center - which has retreats almost every weekend
The Bonaface Retreat Center
The American Catholic Historical Society of Philadelphia
Serra Club (4 chapters)
Kings Men
A Catholic Men’s Camping Retreat program
Volunteer Corps for the Cathedral and other National Shrines
Many active Catholic High School Alumni Groups
Notre Dame Club of Philadelphia
Sporting events at Villanova, St Joe’s & LaSalle
Galas and boosters for our hundreds of Carholic Schools
Galas and boosters for the Philadelphia Catholic League (the high school varsity sports conference that is just for Catholic High Schools)
Alumni Clubs and Alumni Supports for the 12 Catholic colleges inside the Archdiocese (not to mention the 2 others just across the Archdiocean boarder
Pro Life groups
Even a Catholic 55 and over housing community!

Point is, in larger Catholic areas there are TONS of fellowship for Catholics who want it outside of their parish, let alone what the parishes do.

So again, Catholics have fellowship - but it’s not always on the Parish level

THANK YOU so very much for sharing this list

SEEK and YOU SHALL find. Amen!

 

[PJM]

Btw - in my parish people are far more “chatty” and eager to engage in Fellowship after Daily Mass and / or at weeknight Parish events in the hall.

but not so much on Sundays. A lot of our parish volunteers will gladly prepare food every week for an 8 week Discovering Christ series than do one donut Sunday.

The reason I often hear is that on Sunday’s they need to get home to see their grandkids who come over for brunch every Sunday or things like that.

All of the devout Catholics in my parish would go out of their way go to lunch with you, talk about family, etc. during the week. But on Sunday’s after Mass it’s different, they have family they need to see (who don’t go to our parish or who don’t come to Church at all)

Thanks, THAT"S my experience too

 

[PJM]

I’ve been to quite a few " fellowships" in certain Protestant churches ( Baptist, Presbyterian, Episcopal, Lutheran) and honesty compels me to say " they’re not all what they’re cracked up to be." The Baptists seem to have been the more courageous in seeking out and greeting strangers, with the Lutherans running them a distant second, followed by Presbyterians and tailed by Episcopalians. That is just my own experience, though. People in general tend to gravitate around people they know and friendships that have been fostered outside the walls of the church. I’m not going to get into a lot of detail in my own situation, but I will say that I’ve decided to attend my mother’s Baptist church with her for a few weeks following some distasteful rumor and gossip flowing through a relatively small Lutheran congregation. The Baptist church is a lot larger and I just want to lose myself for awhile, maybe make a friend ( or even two) while I figure out how to handle my situation.

Thanks for the candid sharing:thumbsup:

GBY

 

[phil19034]

I’ve been to quite a few " fellowships" in certain Protestant churches ( Baptist, Presbyterian, Episcopal, Lutheran) and honesty compels me to say " they’re not all what they’re cracked up to be." The Baptists seem to have been the more courageous in seeking out and greeting strangers, with the Lutherans running them a distant second, followed by Presbyterians and tailed by Episcopalians. That is just my own experience, though. People in general tend to gravitate around people they know and friendships that have been fostered outside the walls of the church. I’m not going to get into a lot of detail in my own situation, but I will say that I’ve decided to attend my mother’s Baptist church with her for a few weeks following some distasteful rumor and gossip flowing through a relatively small Lutheran congregation. The Baptist church is a lot larger and I just want to lose myself for awhile, maybe make a friend ( or even two) while I figure out how to handle my situation.

Plus, there is the fact that Protestant congregations tend to be far more heterogeneous than Catholic parishes. Protestants typically attend a congregation that meets their desires. If you want a chatty fellowship community, you attend one. So almost everyone there matches that description.

Catholic Churches are typically based on parish boundaries only, with people from all walks of life.

 

[TC3033]

THANK YOU so very much for sharing this list

SEEK and YOU SHALL find. Amen!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this would be “fellowship” for Catholics, not all of us correct?

 

[Reuben_J]

I don’t think that when people are talking about in the midst of mass or in the sanctuary itself.

Personally, I’ve seen it more outside of church than inside. KofC was brought up earlier, the thing about that (and other groups like it), is it excludes the non-Catholic spouses so we (I) don’t have that option anyway. My wife and kids have been invited to church gatherings and festivals, but I’m not. I find that a strange way to fellowship.

From my point of view as a protestant, and experiences as the non-Catholic spouse, what seems to be more of a community of exclusion vs. inclusion isn’t the way I grew up with fellowship. I think that’s one way people say Catholics are weak on it.

But, like what was said up thread, and I agree with it, I’m sure that can depend on where you’re at, how small the church is, and the demographic.

Some Protestants do not know the difference it seems. There shouldn’t be chit-chatting in the church proper whether during the mass or not because of the reverence being accorded to it. When you understand that there is the Body of the Lord inside and we celebrate that, people tend to be very sombre even as they come out of the mass. You just cannot turn on/off like a switch. Sure there are those who are quite indifferent but the general atmosphere is not for Catholics.

As for your experience, well, one parish does not fit all. If you come to my cathedral, chances are you will tag along if your spouse is in. There is no discrimination.

So like I said, it is not correct to generalize. Some Catholic churches are more chatty than Protestant churches and vice-versa but in different context.

It is the people who make fellowship - sorry for being repetitious there.

For Catholics, obviously not inside the churches or after mass or thing like that but more as church activities. I can only speak for my cathedral, it is just full of activities after ‘church’, daytime or night time. If you should go you would find the car park is always full and you thought a mass is going on, but no, instead there are activities by various groups and movements. It is just full of life.

But I cannot speak for some parishes that probably are dying. They are not the same.