IYO: Are Catholic weak on fellowship?

[Peter_J]

Doesn’t donuts after Mass violate the one hour fast before/after Communion?

This is the first I’ve ever heard of an hour fast after communion.

 

[nora_b]

My take on things: I see shades of fellowship in every service I attend. I’m a revert to the faith and am going to different parishes as I settle down ready to move to a permanent address after a major transition in my life. In the last few months, I have had the opportunity to observe multiple parishes and how the people interact with one another. I notice before Mass in some parishes, people are all chatty, and obviously some people know one another-walking right up to one another, hello how are you, and I can see a semblance of a community. In other parishes, people are more to themselves. In the same parish where people are very social, toward the end, you might see them lined up on the back wall during the Saturday vigil instead of returning to their pews, and yes you see the duck out after communion during any of the services across the board of every church I go to. In one parish, it is sort of a “medium” level of social. The parish in the area I am moving to, seems pretty social too-at the sign of peace, people actually SHAKE each others hands more so than any church I have been. At many of the parishes I visit, people would not shake your hand-it’s the total air wave thing. You all know exactly what I’m talking about. But even there-I still sense some degree of involvement. I always sense something. I always read the church bulletin, and there seems to be plenty going on in any of the churches, so my take on things is that there are fellowship opportunities. The structure may be different than Protestant churches somewhat but I think there are opportunities out there-Lenten soup dinners, Bible studies, Sodality groups-just read the church bulletin. It’s out there. So I think there is plenty going on.

 

[Usige]

Doesn’t donuts after Mass violate the one hour fast before/after Communion?

There is a 1 hour fast before receiving the Eucharist (canon 919), but there is no requirement to fast afterwards. There are pious practices to wait until the Eucharistic Species remains intact before eating or drinking but I’ve always heard this as 15 or 30 minutes. Again that is a pious practice and not a requirement.

 

[Rosebud77]

Shades of meaning, shades of practice…

Some small points…

What can happen is that folk can feel “obligated” to eg coffee after mass. A superficial thing…

One day after Mass in our cathedral, I was lighting candles etc when I noticed two ladies deep in conversation in the side area… After half an hour, the older one left and the other came over to me to apologise for any disturbance. I assured her there had been none and that I knew that many of the old ones linger after mass as they are lonely, it is warm, and a pity we did not offer tea etc after mass, She had been she said then to a church where that was done… great idea…

But there is nowhere suitable; so many linger after mass to pray in that deep silence and i do not think it would be a good thing spiritually… That time after mass is so… holy, As it should be… In the cathedral they dim the lights… utterly silent and … holy…

What has happened a few times is that I have met the same folk a few times and we have gone on after mass to a cafe. That was lovely.

Why not develop that aspect? Like our Station Masses but less formal? Really getting to know folk. No obligation

Wondering how many here do meet fellow parishioners outside church? How real any idea of “community” is?

One friary I know offers this once a week after mass… all the women go and the noise level is … staggering, but then this is Ireland …I only went once…

as many have said, this is not what Mass is about. It really is not. And I am glad it has not taken off here. ald

 

[rcwitness]

There is a 1 hour fast before receiving the Eucharist (canon 919), but there is no requirement to fast afterwards. There are pious practices to wait until the Eucharistic Species remains intact before eating or drinking but I’ve always heard this as 15 or 30 minutes. Again that is a pious practice and not a requirement.

 

[phil19034]

All my life in every parish I’ve been in Children’s Faith Formation (which I still call CCD) has been on Saturday. As a kid it was only on Saturday, by HS it was on Tuesday and Saturday.

The parish I was baptized & confirmed in had CCD on Wednesdays and Sundays (during the 10:30 Mass). I went on Wednesday night in first grade, and then on Sunday the remainder. Most kids in my parish went to CCD on Sunday.

7th, 8th & 9th Grade (9th grade was Confirmation) were on Sunday evenings.

 

[PJM]

Totally agree but its ironic that for example Fundamentalists tend to have a me, the bible and Jesus mentality yet are very community oriented while meeting to worship. Catholicism doctrinally is very community focused yet Catholics not so much in parish life in my experience in general. The community strength of these fundamentalists groups has at their aim fellowship to strengthen and support each other’s relationships and obedience with Christ not to just feel good. Eg Bible studies, outreaches, support groups…Their general attitude towards each other is much more friendly as a whole also which last time I checked is something our Master commands. As far as Fellowship goes I think the typical Protestant finds themselves with more opportunity or at minimum the Catholic must make a greater effort compared to our Protestant brothers and sisters. I have read that some believe this started way back during the Reformation when Protestants focused more on the liturgy of the word and Catholics the liturgy of the Eucharist. Who knows?? One qualifier…my sample size as a Catholic convert 5 years ago is admittedly small therefore could be very biased however I have read books written by Catholics that tend to view this as a major issue regarding Catholics leaving the Church for fundamentalism.

Excellent (name removed by moderator)ut, THANKS and GBY

 

[PJM]

Catholicism has a little different focus. Fellowship is not *the * reason for being there.
That being said, yea many Catholic Churches could do better with fellowship.

TOTALLY AGREE,

THANKS and Amen!

GBY

 

[PJM]

I disagree with this. Less than 25% of Catholics attend Mass every weekend. I argue that the “cultural Catholics” are the ones not attending.

Some of the Catholics attending Mass every weekend might not be fully Catechized or fully Evangelized, but they are doing more than simply “going through the motions.”

While in complete agreement with your reply, nevertheless, the numbers of self IDENTIFIED Catholics has dropped precipitously in the past 40+ years

The reasons for this are MANY, but at its core, is IMO {ME HERE}, poor catechesis

Thanks and GBY

 

[PJM]

Some parishes do, some parishes don’t. When I was a kid, they had coffee and donuts downstairs in the cafeteria after every Sunday Mass. But they didn’t announce it often.

My current parish has a donut Sunday for just one mass, every few months. But they never announce it either. If you are at the mass with the donuts, you will see them after mass. If you are not at that mass, no donuts for you.

One thing is very common for Catholic Parishes and dioceses. No matter how much people want to say we are organized religion, we are not well organized

Every time my parish staff asks for feedback regarding how the parish is doing, the number one thing that keeps coming back from the laity is “better communication.”

People don’t often know what’s going on, and there isn’t a single place to view all the happenings of the parish.

I think this plays a role in “fellowship” issues too. I think it’s more a result of disorganization than anything else.

Thank you

So HERE we see HUMAN failings, not the Church

Thanks and GBY

 

[PJM]

I’m very familiar with those stats. However, a large percentage of that 63% are the people who are not coming every week.

This has been a struggle for “ages” because historically it was the role of the parents to catechise their kids.

Older Church buildings / campus often do not have large meeting rooms, etc. unless they have a school. “Sunday School” was a protestant innovation, which we obviously sort of adopted (I say sort of because some Parishes, like mine, only have Children’s Faith Formation during the week, not on Sundays).

If Adult Faith Formation classes/events are not working at your parish, then it’s most likely an issue of advertising.

Does Father push them from his homilies and/or during announcements? Or is it just in the bulletin or with people standing in the narthex after mass?

Does your parish have a standing Evangelization committee that is focused on simply evangelizing the parishioners? My parish, for example as two committees (1) an Adult Faith Formation & Evangelization Commission made up of volunteers who focus on logistics of planning events and (2) Evangelization Team which is made up of selected parishioners who have a love & talent for evangelization, this team acts as a “think tank” for evangelization.

If your parish has a subscription to FORMED, you need to advertize it AND make sure people understand what it really is. I’m aware of many devout Catholics who never log into their parish’s FORMED account because they think it’s something they have to come into the parish for – no matter how many times they have been told it’s a “Catholic Netflix for them to watch at home”

Does your parish promote Diocesan events and events from other parishes? Big diocesan events, like a diocesan Men’s and Women’s conferences and teen retreats can really be energetic. But if the parish only promotes their own events, it can hurt.

It’s starts for the top. If the Pastor and his staff are very energetic about ALL events (both in & out of the parish) then it helps when your parish is having something.

THANK YOU my friend,

This is one of the most informed replies I have seen in awhile:thumbsup:

The Role of parents in the exodus from the RCC can NOT be over emphasized IMO.

OUR insufficiently TAUGHT Catechism, shares the following

**2223 Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the “material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones.” Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them:

He who loves his son will not spare the rod. . . . He who disciplines his son will profit by him. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

2228 Parents’ respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom

2226 Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child’s earliest years. This already happens when family members help one another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping with the Gospel. Family catechesis precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God. The parish is the Eucharistic community and the heart of the liturgical life of Christian families; it is a privileged place for the catechesis of children and parents**.

Thank you AND CONTINUED bLESSINGS

PJM the OP}

 

[rcwitness]

Thank you

So HERE we see HUMAN failings, not the Church

Thanks and GBY

The Church is comprised of humans. We don’t get away with failing and still expect a perfect record.

I know where you are going with this. But it’s a little cheap. I think we need to acknowledge how our failings do damage to the Church. Good behavior and practice will inevitably result in strong fellowship with God’s people. And bad behavior and practice will result in fellowship with the faithless world. Who do the men and women of His Church have fellowship with?

 

[PJM]

I was just wondering because post Mass coffee/tea/whatever gets brought up on here a lot as a common occurrence, but it seems like the churches where we’re at never do it.

More just curious since I’ve never seen it…

1. Talk to your Pastor
2. Volunteer to DO something about it!

God Bless you

Patrick

 

[PJM]

Doesn’t donuts after Mass violate the one hour fast before/after Communion?

Hmmmmm, Before YES!

After…no such thing

GBY

 

[TC3033]

1. Talk to your Pastor
2. Volunteer to DO something about it!

God Bless you

Patrick

I was just more curious than anything. I’ve gone to a few different Parrish’s around here and none of them do post Mass anything, at least that I’m aware of.

 

[rcwitness]

1 John 1
This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have donuts with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not live according to the truth; but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have donuts and coffee with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
We better get it together and share the good Java and Long Johns!

 

[MooCowSteph]

No. To your idea re me!

I am all but housebound and with mo immune system almost never get to mass in person. ,

My point is that there is no need for what you call vibrancy in a parish ie happy clappy meetings etc. You see not into each soul and life

My faith is not confined to a church. It is a part of my living and breathing, in all do
and am and for many that is so.

Why would any one be called on to defend their beliefs by other Christians? In my more active days that never happened.

Only twice has that happened of late and on both those occasions I have simply spken of the love of Jesus in His words and that has brought peace

For that is all that matters and all that we have,
People these days are fully occupied with work then with family… and living those roles in faith…
But then I believe in faith rather than in religion as you see it… in peace rather than disputation, in love for all rather than opposing others,

I’ve been called on many, many times to defend my Catholic beliefs to Protestants. It’s not rare at all, in my experience. In fact I have several non-Catholic friends who I meet with regularly to debate and discuss theological differences. Many co-workers and friends who are devout Christians have asked me why Catholics do x, y or z. I’ve also has Mormon missionaries to my home several times. All Catholics should have at least a basic understanding of why they believe what they believe, why they are Catholic.

I never insinuated that vibrant parish = happy clappy. I’m really not a fan of contemporary, “happy clappy” Masses, but they do seem to be the best attended in my area.

 

[MooCowSteph]

I’m very familiar with those stats. However, a large percentage of that 63% are the people who are not coming every week.

This has been a struggle for “ages” because historically it was the role of the parents to catechise their kids.

Older Church buildings / campus often do not have large meeting rooms, etc. unless they have a school. “Sunday School” was a protestant innovation, which we obviously sort of adopted (I say sort of because some Parishes, like mine, only have Children’s Faith Formation during the week, not on Sundays).

If Adult Faith Formation classes/events are not working at your parish, then it’s most likely an issue of advertising.

Does Father push them from his homilies and/or during announcements? Or is it just in the bulletin or with people standing in the narthex after mass?

Does your parish have a standing Evangelization committee that is focused on simply evangelizing the parishioners? My parish, for example as two committees (1) an Adult Faith Formation & Evangelization Commission made up of volunteers who focus on logistics of planning events and (2) Evangelization Team which is made up of selected parishioners who have a love & talent for evangelization, this team acts as a “think tank” for evangelization.

If your parish has a subscription to FORMED, you need to advertize it AND make sure people understand what it really is. I’m aware of many devout Catholics who never log into their parish’s FORMED account because they think it’s something they have to come into the parish for – no matter how many times they have been told it’s a “Catholic Netflix for them to watch at home”

Does your parish promote Diocesan events and events from other parishes? Big diocesan events, like a diocesan Men’s and Women’s conferences and teen retreats can really be energetic. But if the parish only promotes their own events, it can hurt.

It’s starts for the top. If the Pastor and his staff are very energetic about ALL events (both in & out of the parish) then it helps when your parish is having something.

You make some excellent points. I am on the Adult Faith Formation committee, and we do have communication and advertisement issues in the parish. We’ve had FORMED for two years and only managed to get 100 people signed up, despite running in the bulletin weekly, two ministry fair exhibits, pulpit announcements, and bulletin board posts.

 

[utah_rose]

Yes. If our Protestant brethren have us beat on anything, its fellowship.

You are so right. People could be a little friendlier after Mass. I’m thinking of the Protestant minister who dressed like a bum and came to a Serbia e where a new minister was supposed to debut. In a word he got shunned. Imagine the congregations surprise at the beginning of the service when he walked up front snd told them who he was!

Some parishes are divided now. We belong to a parish where sadly they’re Spanish cliques and English ones. It’s like two parishes! The English speaking people have coffee after Mass, and the Spanish I think have other things to sell after theirs.

Our pastor has tried to draw everyone in with limited success. He tried bilingual Bible classes but not many turned out. Then he had separate ones and the Spanish wouldnt come. It’s just a clash of cultures and I wish we’d have a TLM Mass sometime when both could attend and learn the Latin together.

On the otherhand the for English only parishes have problems too. Maybe we just need to realize that fellowship is in the Mass, not in activities the Protestant churches have, because they’re missing out on the Real Presence. As my mom used to say, “offer it up”.

 

[utah_rose]

You make some excellent points. I am on the Adult Faith Formation committee, and we do have communication and advertisement issues in the parish. We’ve had FORMED for two years and only managed to get 100 people signed up, despite running in the bulletin weekly, two ministry fair exhibits, pulpit announcements, and bulletin board posts.

Our priest tries really hard to promote things. We have a class now called Mass Confusion about the Mass. The flyers were distributed to all of the parishes and Also noted Iin the Catholic paper, but guess what. Only about 20 people attending and only 4 from a neighboring parish. Our women’s guild will be dissolving as only the older women seem interested. They did start a youth group though snd that seems to be thriving.