Jackie Evancho's transsexual brother

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Jackie Evancho fans, prepare yourselves for a shock. Her latest video is a tribute to her brother, who has “come out” as transsexual. The video features imaginary scenes with two girls trading makeup, and then reality hits and one of the “girls” turns out to be a boy. According to an exchange I had on Wikipedia, Jackie’s family has said that her older brother Jacob is now calling himself “Jay” or “Juliette”.

I couldn’t finish watching the video, but if you have the stomach, here it is.
 
Elizium23 said:
Jackie Evancho fans, prepare yourselves for a shock. Her latest video is a tribute to her brother, who has “come out” as transsexual. The video features imaginary scenes with two girls trading makeup, and then reality hits and one of the “girls” turns out to be a boy. According to an exchange I had on Wikipedia, Jackie’s family has said that her older brother Jacob is now calling himself “Jay” or “Juliette”.

I couldn’t finish watching the video, but if you have the stomach, here it is.
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The sad thing is, I think this song is quite pretty. I am praying for her brother and her family…
 
Please don’t be sick or sad. Please just understand it isn’t as easy as it seems. I guess you’re not really saying that it’s easy, but really. I know it’s hard to imagine. But some of us don’t choose this. We are even reluctant to face it really. But I don’t know. I guess I can’t speak for everyone. I don’t know what it would be like to be trans, but I have a buddy who does and it doesn’t sound like he’s just doing it for kicks. It actually sounds like a burden. I mean I don’t know if it is entirely psychological or a real genetic thing. I’m not smart enough for that. But my good friend lax16 gave me some reading that really spelled out how a guy like me could get started through a series of life events so I don’t know anymore. I’m just saying please have patience with some of us. Some of us who are struggling to understand it ourselves.

It can be a big thing to admit this. You don’t just decide to do this on a whim. Well not usually.

Peace.

-Trident
 
I really hate posting in these types of threads… But I also hate staying silent…

So first, thanks, I now have another artist who I actually like to listen to(how have I never heard of this person before?). Also apologizing now for anything that doesn’t make sense, I am unable to sleep at the moment(ever since starting college, my sleeping schedule is messed up), so my typing may suck.

Now… I guess I am biased, and I also can’t really comment on how it is for this person and her family. But for me, going off a bit of what Trident said… It is REALLY hard to be transgender. I personally have been struggling with it for probably my whole life, but mainly ever since I was able to put a word to my feelings…

I have literally stayed up all night multiple times praying that God would let me just be okay with the way I was born(which I guess, kind of worked, going off the belief that Gid made me transgender for a reason?). I still am struggling now about just telling my parents that I am transgender, and still struggle with accepting it myself, I can’t even imagine coming out to extended family, friends, and posting it out across the Internet with a name that leads back to me off the internet.

I would recommend trying to not instantly judge people, for example, by thinking all gay and transgender people need help, when you probably don’t understand it fully. Also, can you please try using pronouns correctly, just assuming if they have asked for certain pronouns/names yet?
 
Avinia said:
I really hate posting in these types of threads… But I also hate staying silent…

So first, thanks, I now have another artist who I actually like to listen to(how have I never heard of this person before?). Also apologizing now for anything that doesn’t make sense, I am unable to sleep at the moment(ever since starting college, my sleeping schedule is messed up), so my typing may suck.

Now… I guess I am biased, and I also can’t really comment on how it is for this person and her family. But for me, going off a bit of what Trident said… It is REALLY hard to be transgender. I personally have been struggling with it for probably my whole life, but mainly ever since I was able to put a word to my feelings…

I have literally stayed up all night multiple times praying that God would let me just be okay with the way I was born(which I guess, kind of worked, going off the belief that Gid made me transgender for a reason?). I still am struggling now about just telling my parents that I am transgender, and still struggle with accepting it myself, I can’t even imagine coming out to extended family, friends, and posting it out across the Internet with a name that leads back to me off the internet.

I would recommend trying to not instantly judge people, for example, by thinking all gay and transgender people need help, when you probably don’t understand it fully. Also, can you please try using pronouns correctly, just assuming if they have asked for certain pronouns/names yet?
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Thanks for sharing! What would be the best way to support someone who is struggling with the desire to change genders?
 
Love the song and video. I have a few transsexual friends and a video like this is empowering. The mtf is beautiful and she will be just wonderful. I applaud this singer for doing such a wonderful piece.
 
I think her song is beautiful. She obviously loves her sibling and that is what we should focus on. I have a niece that is transgender. It is not something I understand but it has been this way every since she was 2 years old and could express herself clearly. She didn’t learn it from anyone. She didn’t suddenly decide later in life. It was always this way, consistently.
 
Gender dysphoria is an unfortunate self-image disorder similar to anorexia in that the reality of one’s body does not conform to the person’s idea of it. Therefore, an anorexic can be sickly thin but still regards herself as fat. For some reason they do not accept themselves as they are.
I read about a rather famous dancer who was not only not satisfied with her weight but did some plastic surgery on her face to plump up her lips. This convinced me that a fundamental dissatisfaction about oneself is at the core. Otherwise, why would transgendered who already mutilated their bodies have a high rate of suicide disproportionate to the rest of the population?
This phenomenon is sad and troubling but is not helped by those who cheer it on. Hopefully love, counseling and prayer will help people to accept themselves as they are and not get seduced by a false culture that says you can do anything to follow your dream even if it contradicts reality.
 
zamyrabyrd said:
Gender dysphoria is an unfortunate self-image disorder similar to anorexia in that the reality of one’s body does not conform to the person’s idea of it. Therefore, an anorexic can be sickly thin but still regards herself as fat. For some reason they do not accept themselves as they are.
I read about a rather famous dancer who was not only not satisfied with her weight but did some plastic surgery on her face to plump up her lips. This convinced me that a fundamental dissatisfaction about oneself is at the core. Otherwise, why would transgendered who already mutilated their bodies have a high rate of suicide disproportionate to the rest of the population?
This phenomenon is sad and troubling but is not helped by those who cheer it on. Hopefully love, counseling and prayer will help people to accept themselves as they are and not get seduced by a false culture that says you can do anything to follow your dream even if it contradicts reality.
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bold: That’s the most honest and right way of going about these sort of things. Cheering on a disorder because a loved one falls under any of the LGBT (now Q is added) letters is counterintuitive and downright sad as well, though understanding. Sad because there’s no critical thought put into it.
 
Midwest88 said:
bold: That’s the most honest and right way of going about these sort of things. Cheering on a disorder because a loved one falls under any of the LGBT (now Q is added) letters is counterintuitive and downright sad as well, though understanding. Sad because there’s no critical thought put into it.
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It seems to me there’s been more of an epidemic of it than ever lately. I have to wonder if it’s because of the constant, never-ending talking about it and cheering it on. The poster you quoted is right. I agree also. The cheering on is totally wrong. Refusing to recognize it/ accept it as a true illness isn’t right or realistic. I have to wonder, though, how much of it is mere trend, and if many of those who “think” they are “trans” really wouldn’t even have such thoughts if we weren’t living in this day and time right now. It’s no different, to me, than a child saying “I think I have a headache too,” simply because they hear it over and over. Also, making it out to be something to be “proud” of only feeds it. It’s wrong and unrealistic, and it needs to stop, but it doesn’t look like it ever will.
 
roseofshannon said:
This article gives an insightful perspective on the question of whether it has become a trend:

uturnlavern.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/155/

She describes how differently her life would have turned out if she had grown up today.
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She’s under the unfortunate impression that she had a near-trans experience. Having features, mannerisms, or interests that are traditionally considered more appropriate for the opposite sex is not the same thing as being transgender.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
She’s under the unfortunate impression that she had a near-trans experience. Having features, mannerisms, or interests that are traditionally considered more appropriate for the opposite sex is not the same thing as being transgender.
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Perhaps in some cases you are correct.

I know that I had accidentally come upon the Playboy which famously featured Vanessa Williams in sexual poses with another woman when my friend and I were exploring a house being built (probably left there by the construction workers). I was 13 and seeing those photos caused me to feel aroused and curious.

Since I didn’t even know what homosexual was I just assumed the photos were meant to cause arousal in men only and thought no more about it. I chalked my arousal up to being exposed to “naughty” photos and went on my way assuming I was perfectly normal.

(I went on to date men, marry and have 5 kids and never had same sex attraction in real life.)

If I were 13 today and had that experience, I would be plagued by the thought that I was probably gay and would be tormented with thinking about it day and night. I had such close friendships with girls that I might have erroneously thought that I was “in love”. It would have been very confusing, painful and scary.

I’m glad I wasn’t growing up today.
 
roseofshannon said:
Perhaps in some cases you are correct.

I know that I had accidentally come upon the Playboy which famously featured Vanessa Williams in sexual poses with another woman when my friend and I were exploring a house being built (probably left there by the construction workers). I was 13 and seeing those photos caused me to feel aroused and curious.

Since I didn’t even know what homosexual was I just assumed the photos were meant to cause arousal in men only and thought no more about it. I chalked my arousal up to being exposed to “naughty” photos and went on my way assuming I was perfectly normal.

(I went on to date men, marry and have 5 kids and never had same sex attraction in real life.)

If I were 13 today and had that experience, I would be plagued by the thought that I was probably gay and would be tormented with thinking about it day and night. I had such close friendships with girls that I might have erroneously thought that I was “in love”. It would have been very confusing, painful and scary.

I’m glad I wasn’t growing up today.
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I can see the concern that young people are ripe to be labeled as gay or lesbian or whatever, but arousal or having a girl crush is not the same as being SSA. What I see are young people being called gay as a slur whether they are SSA or not. I don’t see young people being convinced by taunting or experimenting that they are gay. That would lend a lot of credence to gender fluidity and the Kinsey scale.
 
I’m just saying that I could have easily convinced myself, that deep down, I knew this was my secret. If I felt the need to rebel from the norm at some point, or saw all the attention and praise for being “courageous” I could receive if I came out with my secret, or if someone I was close to came on to me, I could have perhaps gone down a road that would be nearly impossible to return from.
 
Crown_of_Stars said:
It seems to me there’s been more of an epidemic of it than ever lately. I have to wonder if it’s because of the constant, never-ending talking about it and cheering it on. The poster you quoted is right. I agree also. The cheering on is totally wrong. Refusing to recognize it/ accept it as a true illness isn’t right or realistic. I have to wonder, though, how much of it is mere trend, and if many of those who “think” they are “trans” really wouldn’t even have such thoughts if we weren’t living in this day and time right now. It’s no different, to me, than a child saying “I think I have a headache too,” simply because they hear it over and over. Also, making it out to be something to be “proud” of only feeds it. It’s wrong and unrealistic, and it needs to stop, but it doesn’t look like it ever will.
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In the 19th century, women could suffer from “hysteria”, that Freud himself treated. This was not typically a condition of the lower class but only those who could indulge in it. Anorexia was virtually unknown since the ideal was not to be excessively skinny but to show that one was not that poor as to starve. Similarly, in Japan there is the phenomenon of* hikikomori*, mainly young men who isolate themselves from a very tough demanding society. The estimate today is about 1 million of them shutting themselves in their rooms and having their meals being brought through the sliding door.
The epidemic of trans in my opinion is culturally induced and encouraged. This is not to say that it didn’t exist before, only pressures were to conform to one’s biological gender. I know personally someone whose mother wanted a girl and used to dress her son in girls’ clothes until the age of 4 or 5. His bonding with this father and interaction with the guys on the street put the lie to all that. In the above mentioned article, one can only guess at the various subliminal messages of the parents’ disappointment getting a girl instead of a boy. However, it seemed it turned out OK for her in the end.
In this specific instance, there is one sibling who gets all the lavish attention and praise while the slightly older brother has to stay in the background. Becoming trans would be such a great way of sharing some of the spotlight. I know personally of siblings who carved out their own little niche by being the invalid of their houses. This was a virtual insurance policy for getting attention that went on for decades, but in effect, dysfunctional and self-destructive as I am afraid such a ploy can only turn out in the end.
 
JD1789 said:
Thanks for sharing! What would be the best way to support someone who is struggling with the desire to change genders?
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Sorry, was busy with college stuff… And trying to get some sleep from being up late due to college.

Anyways, I guess, just let them know you care, and try not to instantly judge them because you may not agree with transitioning. Not the best at explaining it though, but pretty much that is all I hope my parents will do, is let me know they care and aren’t going to disown me.

Also, just like I said in my first post, if they ask for you to use a certain set of pronouns, or a certain name, then try to do so.
 
Avinia said:
Sorry, was busy with college stuff… And trying to get some sleep from being up late due to college.
Anyways, I guess, just let them know you care, and try not to instantly judge them because you may not agree with transitioning. Not the best at explaining it though, but pretty much that is all I hope my parents will do, is let me know they care and aren’t going to disown me.
Also, just like I said in my first post, if they ask for you to use a certain set of pronouns, or a certain name, then try to do so.
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If I were a parent of a doubting child, I would first look into myself if I had caused or encouraged it in any way. Beyond that, I would try to find a very good therapist and/or counselor. We are not always aware of the reasons prompting our thoughts and behavior and might use some help sorting them out.
 
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