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Fortunately, you don’t have to!I don’t have a preference for God as a man or a woman.
Just pray that the HS will make you closer to God every day, and that your life will bear the fruit of your relationship. Healing of this kind can take many years.
Ask Jesus to help you have the attitude toward His mother that He wants you to have. Keep putting one foot in front of the other! When you seek first the Kingdom, everything falls into place.