Jesus' will vs my ego

[Graceejou]

I am dealing with a frustrating situation with someone in my RCIA class and need advice because it’s not bringing good into my life. The person is being very inconsiderate of their classmates, their infant (KC) and themselves.

I’ve talked with everyone in the parish who should be involved (director, priest, pastor) and they’ve all spoken to the person but the person refuses to stop bringing their active and VERY noisy (screaming piercing screams, whining, banging, fussing) infant to the two hour class. The person is married, has teenage children, and the spouse is at home during class. Spouse comes to mass on Sunday but sends KC upstairs when the class is excused for Bible study, so another 40 mins of fussing there too. The entire class cringes every single time this child makes a noise because it’s so loud and so piercing (the RCIA classroom is an echo-y basement room, the Sunday during mass class in an upstairs cafeteria type room) .

KC is adorable & sweet and we all love KC, but we love KC more when baby is at home in bed where KC should be late into the evening. KC is screaming because KC is so miserable it makes me sad to listen to KC crying and screaming and fussing like that . But the worst part is there is a person in our class on chemo and KC is now a danger and in danger because of it. KC’s parents are aware, but don’t care. The person has had to leave class and miss it because of KC.

The rest of us can’t hear or learn anything. When first made aware of the man with chemo, KC didn’t come to class twice, she stayed home. The change in the atmosphere of the class was astounding. We could have discussions, it was lively, everyone was cheerful and engaged because there was no screaming baby.

I’m angry about this. It’s mean to the baby, incredibly rude to the classmates and dangerous for the cancer patient. I feel resentful and angry about it and those aren’t the feelings I want to be having when trying to go through RCIA and this close to confirmation. MY human reaction is to escalate to the diocese since it’s not being resolved at the parish level. But it’s Lent and I truly want to do what Jesus would do. But what would that be?

 

[bardegaulois]

Well, you’ve brought it to the DRE and the pastor, and you can bring it up to the diocesan education office AFTER the classes end.

In the meantime, I’d recommend you do what my Catholic parents and grandparents have long advised their children to do under annoying circumstances:

Offer it up.

 

[Graceejou]

Well, you’ve brought it to the DRE and the pastor, and you can bring it up to the diocesan education office AFTER the classes end.

In the meantime, I’d recommend you do what my Catholic parents and grandparents have long advised their children to do under annoying circumstances:

Offer it up.

We haven’t learned this phrase yet but I can guess what it means.

I suppose that’s kind of what I’ve been doing which is what lead me here in hopes of getting some ideas of what to do that is good and positive. But argh, it’s so frustrating! I’ll make a special effort to include the chemo patient because they feel pretty left out and a lot of anger that they’re being sort of excluded cause someone is choosing to bring their baby. And I am dealing with my own serious illness , being around a baby who’s getting vaccinations and lots of cold isn’t that great for me either. But nothing can be done about it I guess. Will have to trust that God will keep us safe from any illnesses will keep KC safe from exposure to the chemo . :-\

 

[bardegaulois]

Nobody ever said life wouldn’t be frustrating, but offering up even just our annoyances bind us but closer to Christ’s priesthood.

Here’s a brief treatment of it: fisheaters.com/offeringitup.html.

God bless.

 

[4love2God]

If someone brings a shrieking Baby to a class you are in, and
that shrieking Baby bothers you, while it is in class with you, then
Talk to the person bringing that shrieking Baby to your class.

This will help, whether or not Baby stops coming.
It will provide you information.

The other people may not have made it PERFECTLY clear how much frustration is being caused in your mind over this shrieking.
Many times, people like directors do not explain things well, OR EVEN explain exactly what the Problem is.

Likely, the Baby will stay Home.
(Or, you will find out why the Baby does NOT stay Home.)

At the very LEAST, this Baby (or rather the Baby’s bringer) will know that a shrieking Baby is ruining the serenity of your class.

And, of course, you ALWAYS have the Option to attend another RCIA class (and hope that the New class does not come pre-equipped with a shrieking Baby).

 

[Graceejou]

If someone brings a shrieking Baby to a class you are in, and
that shrieking Baby bothers you, while it is in class with you, then
Talk to the person bringing that shrieking Baby to your class.

This will help, whether or not Baby stops coming.
It will provide you information.

The other people may not have made it PERFECTLY clear how much frustration is being caused in your mind over this shrieking.
Many times, people like directors do not explain things well, OR EVEN explain exactly what the Problem is.

Likely, the Baby will stay Home.
(Or, you will find out why the Baby does NOT stay Home.)

At the very LEAST, this Baby (or rather the Baby’s bringer) will know that a shrieking Baby is ruining the serenity of your class.

And, of course, you ALWAYS have the Option to attend another RCIA class (and hope that the New class does not come pre-equipped with a shrieking Baby).

I have spoken with baby bringer. So has the instructor/priest. The baby comes because mother wants a break in the evening because her children from her first marriage are with their father and she wants to go out. Mother works part time, dad full time. They work together. The chemo patient has talked with them, explaining the risks, they OK, then baby is back the next class.

It’s not about my serenity. It’s about being able to hear or participate in any way. The room is small but echos like a bathroom and there are 30 of us squeezed in. We frequently have to ask the instructor to repeat 2~3 times. Baby is crying because it’s late, she’s miserable.

I don’t think telling me to quit RCIA when we’re almost done is reasonable. I like babies. I have kids of my own and we have a loud house. But I don’t bring them. The pregnant woman who is with her own screaming kids all day, well I think she’s going to have a nervous breakdown because she doesn’t bring her kids either. We’ve offered to bring teenagers to help out we’ve offered to provide babysitter we’ve offered to walk the baby around he refuses everything and he does it in a way that is defiant, not apologetic.

I don’t expect to not be annoyed in life, that’s not really the point of this post but I can see I’m not presenting the problem well. Thank you to those of you who did respond with helpful advice.

 

[4love2God]

The OP responds to my Post : "I have spoken with baby bringer. So has the instructor/priest. … The chemo patient has talked with them, explaining the risks, they OK, then baby is back the next class.
It’s not about my serenity. It’s about being able to hear or participate in any way."

I do not understand why your Priest is allowing this ridiculous situation to continue.
Talk about uncomfortable situations to try to learn in …

I called my Diocese, and spoke with the Vicar there.
He suggested that your Priest could have someone teach her (alone) at another time or place, where her Baby would only affect the teacher.
This is especially so, because you only have a couple weeks left of RCIA.

He is deeply concerned that this is happening, and suggested that you contact your Diocese, and explain what is happening.
And, that the Vicar of your Diocese, will contact your Priest, and go-over ideas to stop this from happening … Now, and in the Future.

God bless you, and Good Luck in becoming a new member of my Catholic Church this Easter.

 

[Graceejou]

If

The other people may not have made it PERFECTLY clear how much frustration is being caused in your mind over this shrieking.

They’ve made it clear. I think saying “oh, are you tired? Is that why you’re crying? It’s so late to be out” to baby while dad is holding baby would make most parents think. Or loudly saying “could you repeat that Father? I couldn’t hear you over the baby crying.” might. Or saying "do you need you a babysitter, can I provide a babysitter , I could bring my teenager to help out so baby can go rest in the nursery etc. etc. etc. would make most parents wonder if maybe their baby was being disruptive, wouldn’t it?

Maybe I’m/we are completely wrong in being upset. The rest of the group voted for me to come ask this question since none of them have accounts. I don’t think the frustration is only in my mind. I will continue to pray about it.

 

[4love2God]

They’ve made it clear. I think saying “oh, are you tired? Is that why you’re crying? It’s so late to be out” to baby while dad is holding baby would make most parents think. Or loudly saying “could you repeat that Father? I couldn’t hear you over the baby crying.” might. Or saying "do you need you a babysitter, can I provide a babysitter , I could bring my teenager to help out so baby can go rest in the nursery etc. etc. etc. would make most parents wonder if maybe their baby was being disruptive, wouldn’t it?

I must say, you have gone over-and-above the usual response, especially with :** Or saying “do you need you a babysitter, can I provide a babysitter, I could bring my teenager to help out so baby can go rest in the nursery…”**
When you offer an absolutely FREE solution to a Problem, and it is Crushed and Ignored, you have DONE IT ALL.
I am impressed with your actions.

I will remember you in my prayers tonight, and all of the people in your class.