Job interview problem

[johnnyjones]

My cousin who left his high paying job due to stress and family is encountering another problem while going on interviews for a new job… He has had some interviews with companies that had positions that seemed like they fit him perfectly. When they ask him why he left his last job, he doesn’t want to say stress, because that will reflect badly on his ability to due the position he is applying for. So, he says, he had a “family first” situation (which is true) is relation to the care of his child and and that seems to be hurting him too, even though he follows up by saying the family problem has been resolved.

What response can a person use if they left their last job due to stress or family issues that won’t effect the the chances of getting the position they are applying for? One of my friends told him to say, “it was time to move on” or “I wasn’t happy there”. I don’t know if those are good either because it may look like you bail out when it gets too tough or your tired of the work. You can’t make up things like “I was layed off” when it didn’t really happen because they often check on past employers. Suggestions?

 

[1ke]

He needs to tell the truth.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

I think wording his answer as “family first” could be hurting him because they will view him as probably not a hard-working, dedicate employee. I might try, “I had a personal family issue come up in my life, but it has since been taken care of.” It is basically saying the same thing without waving a red flag in the employer’s face of “Your company will always take a back seat to my family.”

 

[coachdennis]

He can also add that while there may have been situations of “family first”, he has reset his priorities so he can be an effective worker.

Of course this has to be true, and he does not have to go into details. this shows a perspective an employer that he recognizes issues or problems when they arise and that he has problem solving skills. Also, he can reassure a potential employer that he is well-balanced and give his best abilities to the new job.

 

[jmcrae]

I think wording his answer as “family first” could be hurting him because they will view him as probably not a hard-working, dedicate employee. I might try, “I had a personal family issue come up in my life, but it has since been taken care of.” It is basically saying the same thing without waving a red flag in the employer’s face of “Your company will always take a back seat to my family.”

He could say (if it’s true) “My child became severely ill, and I didn’t know how long I was going to need off work in order to care for her, so I left my last position to take care of her, rather than leave my employer in limbo about my status. My child has since (recovered/died) and I am ready to return to work, now.”

 

[Hokomai]

Any employer who does not understand that people suffer stress that can impact their performance is too stupid to be inn business for long and you would be wise not to work for them. A good employer will admire applicants with the common sense to take responsibility for stress, manage it, and the self-insight to explain what they did and to project their confidence that what happened in the previous job will not happen in the one for which they are applying. So for purely pragmatic reasons, if nothing else: tell the truth! Employers may be picking up how uncomfortable the OP’s person is in answering the question and this may be undermining their confidence. If necessary find an employment consultant or counsellor and do some training. Get the story true, and straight, and have confident replies to anything someone may ask. Practise the response.

 

[chevalier]

He could say (if it’s true) “My child became severely ill, and I didn’t know how long I was going to need off work in order to care for her, so I left my last position to take care of her, rather than leave my employer in limbo about my status. My child has since (recovered/died) and I am ready to return to work, now.”

+1

Any employer who does not understand that people suffer stress that can impact their performance is too stupid to be inn business for long and you would be wise not to work for them. A good employer will admire applicants with the common sense to take responsibility for stress, manage it, and the self-insight to explain what they did and to project their confidence that what happened in the previous job will not happen in the one for which they are applying. So for purely pragmatic reasons, if nothing else: tell the truth! Employers may be picking up how uncomfortable the OP’s person is in answering the question and this may be undermining their confidence. If necessary find an employment consultant or counsellor and do some training. Get the story true, and straight, and have confident replies to anything someone may ask. Practise the response.

+1

For the record, any semi-professional recruiter will be able to spot an amateur liar if your cousin even attempted it. HR people may even have had training for this type of thing.

Also, it might be a good idea to find some free training or coaching in stress management. And if not, then a book, e-book or some self-taught course. That would be something to tell the recruiter: I had a problem with stress, I could no longer pretend it doesn’t exist, I had to learn to deal with it for real and I did.

Stupid people who will sieve away any candidate that betrays a trace of normal human thinking or emotion (stress, sick child…) are probably not the entry sign of a nice company to begin with.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

He could focus on the positives of the new position while answering that question.

For instance, I left a previous job because the company culture was terrible and the stress at that workplace was driving me crazy. Since I can’t say, “A lot of people at that company were bullies and the company needed an overhaul culture-wise so I got out”, I instead focused on the good things about the new position I was interviewing for, such as, “I like to meet new people and my current/former job has/had me behind a desk where I do not have that opportunity”.

It is all in how you spin it. Rather than focusing on the negatives, look for positive things about the new job and discuss why you want to pursue those new possibilities. It will show the interviewer that you are seeking new opportunities more suited to your talents, rather than escaping a place where you did not excel.

 

[johnnyjones]

He needs to tell the truth.

He does, by saying he had to take care of his child. But it seems when he says that he gets the third degree of questioning in which most infer to him that they can’t believe he couldn’t find a way to resolve it, especially since his last job was such a good one.

I should have stated that security is the position he is applying for. This is not an entry level position. In this field telling the stress part of your previous employer is better left omitted than “telling the truth”. It is the “kiss of death” towards being hired in that field (and many others) to bring up how you couldn’t handle certain stresses. Few employers can identify with that and don’t want to take on “damaged goods”.

 

[johnnyjones]

Any employer who does not understand that people suffer stress that can impact their performance is too stupid to be inn business for long and you would be wise not to work for them. A good employer will admire applicants with the common sense to take responsibility for stress, manage it, and the self-insight to explain what they did and to project their confidence that what happened in the previous job will not happen in the one for which they are applying. So for purely pragmatic reasons, if nothing else: tell the truth! Employers may be picking up how uncomfortable the OP’s person is in answering the question and this may be undermining their confidence. If necessary find an employment consultant or counsellor and do some training. Get the story true, and straight, and have confident replies to anything someone may ask. Practise the response.

Heads of security departments (many who were ex cops) look at stress as a weakness. Although it may be true that they have seen it, that is all the more reason they don’t want to hire someone with that previous issue. The security/law enforcement field does not operate like corporate, retail or trade occupations. I also come from the same field as my cousin, law enforcement. To say you “couldn’t handle the stress” or “it was too stressful” just makes the employer ask , “how are you going to handle the stress at our organization?” I thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut, I don’t mean to come off as your answer was not meaningful or thought provoking.

 

[johnnyjones]

I think wording his answer as “family first” could be hurting him because they will view him as probably not a hard-working, dedicate employee. I might try, “I had a personal family issue come up in my life, but it has since been taken care of.” It is basically saying the same thing without waving a red flag in the employer’s face of “Your company will always take a back seat to my family.”

I like this answer. It is truthful and makes sense. Better wording, better impact, yes. Thank you.

 

[johnnyjones]

He does, by saying he had to take care of his child. But it seems when he says that he gets the third degree of questioning in which most infer to him that they can’t believe he couldn’t find a way to resolve it, especially since his last job was such a good one.

I should have stated that security is the position he is applying for. This is not an entry level position. In this field telling the stress part of your previous employer is better left omitted than “telling the truth”. It is the “kiss of death” towards being hired in that field (and many others) to bring up how you couldn’t handle certain stresses. Few employers can identify with that and don’t want to take on “damaged goods”…

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

What response can a person use if they left their last job due to stress …] Suggestions?

“I left for medical reasons which have since resolved.” (Stress is a medical issue. Had I been in a different province that recognizes it as a workplace illness, I could have gone on WCB and saved my job) When I quit my last job because of stress and anxiety, I made certain that I wrote in my resignation letter that I was quitting for medical reasons.

 

[johnnyjones]

“I left for medical reasons which have since resolved.” (Stress is a medical issue. Had I been in a different province that recognizes it as a workplace illness, I could have gone on WCB and saved my job) When I quit my last job because of stress and anxiety, I made certain that I wrote in my resignation letter that I was quitting for medical reasons.

On my cousins resignation he wrote that he was resigning his last job because of a child care issue that affected the welfare of his child (which was true). He was hesitant to resign for stress (which was also true) because he was concerned that the stress issue would follow him around if new employers contacted his old employer. Good answer though.

 

[Groo]

I have changed careers twice and have gone through many interviews where I had to answer uncomfortable questions.

Whenever I get a question that touches on a sore subject, I take one of two approaches:

1. Give a brief but banal answer. This is sort of like a FB dive in football. Probably won’t gain many yards or score a touchdown, but won’t lose the game.
2. Answer a different question. This is my ‘politician’ approach, and what I recommend here.

I would craft a short little speech about all the wonderful qualities of the previous company. Don’t lie of course, but expound on everything that was good, whether it was the boss, corporate culture, positive attitude, teamwork…whatever. Talk about how much you appreciate your time there and how great a benefit that experience has been to your career, and how you hope to bring that experience to the next phase of your career. Then, after flooding the room with all of this positive energy, briefly touch on the resignation.

Something like, you had reached a point in the company where you had accomplished everything you felt you could. About that time, a family emergency came up, and the timing seemed right to move your career in a different direction.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

On my cousins resignation he wrote that he was resigning his last job because of a child care issue that affected the welfare of his child (which was true). He was hesitant to resign for stress (which was also true) because he was concerned that the stress issue would follow him around if new employers contacted his old employer. Good answer though.

I had to quit without notice. It wasn’t your typical “Stress” but rather life-altering “it’s so bad I should probably check myself into the psychiatric ward for my own safety” type of stress. For the record, I was a temp worker hired to cover on someone off on general leave because of stress. (One of the benefits of being a permanent government employee. There’s a leave for everything.)

 

[EasterJoy]

He needs to tell the truth.

He does not need to do so in a way that seems sure to unfairly convict him, though.

“Well, I thought long and hard about it, because I was making good money and making a good contribution to the company, but in the end it wasn’t a good fit. I felt it was only a matter of time before my health would suffer and the company would suffer, and that I’d do better for everyone involved to look elsewhere before that happened. That is one of the reasons I’m excited at the prospect of coming here…(and then go on to explain why the current job opening does fit both his needs and the needs of the company)…”

The idea is to turn everything back to selling what he can do for the company and that he hopes that the fit of the job to him will give him a far longer and happier tenure than his previous job seemed likely to have done. The "pro"s of the new job description are something that should be a big part of the pre-interview homework, so the interviewer can be persuaded that the applicant does know what he’s getting into, and looks forward to it.

 

[johnnyjones]

Some wise answers. I still believe it can be detrimental to bring up previous issues of health especially in certain fields. That can be a red flag, even if it is legitimate, to many employers because it can look like your a risk to potentially leave or use sick time. A family matter may possibly draw out more understanding, even if left vague. I think much is in the wording and how you present yourself as some have shown on this thread.

 

[Georgevich]

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