Job=Life?

[pumpkinbeast]

I’ve been thinking a bit lately that I might be living in a bit of a fantasy bubble where bosses are reasonable about people not being able to work, and I think I need you people to break it for me, if it needs to be broken.

Honestly, what is this attitude that seems to exude from my parents’ generation that your job is your LIFE, you time belongs to who ever you work for and you HAVE to go in if you get called to cover for someone else and you get in trouble for having to take care of emergencies or having a baby? Is this honestly the way the work world works??? Do people have that little compassion for others? I mean, I can understand being suspicious of someone who comes up with a LOT of reasons to not work, but you’d think more often than not people have legitimate issues that need taking care of. No wonder people get stressed out about work so much, if they’re expected to put their job above their families, and even God to keep them!

Am I just living in Happily-Ever-After land? Give me the run down, people, and don’t spare my feelings. I need to know, since I’ll be out there in that big bad world someday.

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi pumpkin;

Well, some companies don’t understand the personal needs of their employees, those are usually companies with large turnover. My company is the opposite. We work hard, but we have nice benefits packages…sick days…personal days…and above all, the management always wants us putting our families first.

I agree with you, aboutgenerations of old. My sister who is only 13 yrs older than me, (in her 50’s) believes in asking how high, when an employer tells her to jump. God bless her, I would have left where she works long ago. I believe in doing 110% at work…giving my best…but, my work is not my life. And companies that treat employees as property, typically will suffer high turnover, and possibly go out of business.

My company is not perfect, but I have been happy here for 5 years…largely, because they reward their ee’s for going above and beyond…in various ways, not just with money. So, there are other companies like this out there…where mgmt treats their ee’s with respect, and don’t expect them to live there and sacrfice family time.

Maybe*** I*** am the one working in a bubble.

 

[bilop]

I’ve been thinking a bit lately that I might be living in a bit of a fantasy bubble where bosses are reasonable about people not being able to work, and I think I need you people to break it for me, if it needs to be broken.

Honestly, what is this attitude that seems to exude from my parents’ generation that your job is your LIFE, you time belongs to who ever you work for and you HAVE to go in if you get called to cover for someone else and you get in trouble for having to take care of emergencies or having a baby? Is this honestly the way the work world works??? Do people have that little compassion for others? I mean, I can understand being suspicious of someone who comes up with a LOT of reasons to not work, but you’d think more often than not people have legitimate issues that need taking care of. No wonder people get stressed out about work so much, if they’re expected to put their job above their families, and even God to keep them!

Am I just living in Happily-Ever-After land? Give me the run down, people, and don’t spare my feelings. I need to know, since I’ll be out there in that big bad world someday.

Honestly, I think it depends on the type of job.

Certain fields, investment banking, law, medicine are notorious for being unfriendly to your lifestyle. If you want the job, you put in the 80+ hours a week, and get paid accordingly.

Other white collar jobs are quite flexible, b/c all that matters is that your work gets done, you don’t need to be there all the time.

Then you get to shift-work jobs, like factories, police, fire, nursing, retail, where it is a big deal if you don’t show up b/c someone else has to work overtime to cover. They have families too.

You just have to realize this when looking for a job. If lifestyle considerations are important to you, you’ve got to find a job that allows that. Be aware, that job will probably pay less than one with worse lifestyle.

Just like you get paid more for working in a coal mine, you get paid more to put up with undersireable work hours.

God Bless

 

[Lil_M]

I think it depends on the type of job. When I was in school I had a factory gig at Frito Lay (No, I no longer eat Cheetos!). They were verrryyy strict with lateness/days off and if they asked you to work overtime or called you in it was sort of expected. I had to work night shift and then stay up all day for my sister’s wedding. Was I tired! I felt sorry for the people with young kids stuck on afternoon or night shift who only saw their families on weekends.

Then I worked in a group home for deaf-blind residents. MUCH more flexible. They actually discouraged us from coming if we were having some sort of problem because the residents would pick up on it. Obviously you gave plenty of notice if possible. There was lots of opportunity for extra hours but they didn’t make you feel like a criminal if you already had plans.

So basically, it varies. But employers’ policies on these situations is usually very clear from the beginning so it’s not a big surprise.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I think it depends on the industry… and the multiple levels of deadlines.

For example… I work at an electronic component company. We build tiny little (3x3 mm or smaller) devices that are critical to certain electronics.
Start from the top down - say the final product is a military plane, or even a cell phone - each has to have a deadline for completion for one reason or another, and each requires dozens, if not thousands, of insignificant little components like I design. If each individual supplier for these BIG items were to miss a deadline, then the whole project could be delayed. Then the government is blamed for taking too long to develop technologies… or even cell phone companies not being able to compete with the latest and greatest!
But not only am I responsible for my designs… but I have suppliers that send raw materials for me to design from… if it’s not here in time then I’m out of luck! The vertical material requirements for a big product require LOTS and LOTS of ACCURATE planning. A sick family member of a critical person can cause lots of problems!

It can be stressful… but there’s a good reason for deadlines.

 

[SeekerJen]

I’m hoping to be a university professor. I’m a grad student now. I took last Monday off from lab because DH and I had to take our rabbit to the vet to be put down- no problem with my advisor (DH works in biotech industry- he took an unscheduled half-day off and would have taken the whole day if a coworker wasn’t swamped. No problems from management there, either). One of the other students in the lab took a half-day off last Thursday for his son’s birthday party. Again, no problem with our advisor. Right now said advisor is at his daughter’s kindergarten Thanksgiving play. We all work really hard when we’re here and sometimes stay late or work weekends if we need to finish something, but it’s not mandated.

I’ve worked in academic lab research since I finished my bachelor’s degree. I’ve never had a problem getting time off when needed or adjusting my schedule to make life easier. The pay’s not as good as industry, but the benefits are way better.

 

[KCtheMommy]

I think it depends on the type of job. When I was in school I had a factory gig at Frito Lay (No, I no longer eat Cheetos!). They were verrryyy strict with lateness/days off and if they asked you to work overtime or called you in it was sort of expected. I had to work night shift and then stay up all day for my sister’s wedding. Was I tired! I felt sorry for the people with young kids stuck on afternoon or night shift who only saw their families on weekends.

Then I worked in a group home for deaf-blind residents. MUCH more flexible. They actually discouraged us from coming if we were having some sort of problem because the residents would pick up on it. Obviously you gave plenty of notice if possible. There was lots of opportunity for extra hours but they didn’t make you feel like a criminal if you already had plans.

So basically, it varies. But employers’ policies on these situations is usually very clear from the beginning so it’s not a big surprise.

Lil! What’s wrong with CHEETOS???

 

[PaulinVA]

Lil! What’s wrong with CHEETOS???

1600 calories in a ten ounce bag!

 

[SeekerJen]

Lil! What’s wrong with CHEETOS???

Probably she’s seen so many of them that they no longer look like food. I can relate- when I was in undergrad, I worked part-time at a locally-owned ice cream parlor (Melting Moments, for all you MSU alumni out there), which is famous for its chocolate-chip cookie ice cream sandwiches. Since everything there was made in-house, often I was either on cookie-baking detail or sandwich-assembly detail. After a few months those things didn’t even look like food, they were just widgets or something.

 

[Della]

How a person is treated at work depends on various factors, as others have stated, but a person also has to ask what s/he wants out of employment.

People who think of their work as a vocation see their time as a part of the whole. Some people have only one vocation that may have many aspects to it and others may have many vocations. Being married with children is a vocation, so any job a person considers taking has to put the family vocation first. So, you look for work that will allow you to put your family vocation first. A real challenge in a society that puts business before family.

Others just want a job, and will either put up with anything to keep one or keep moving from job to job looking for one that will allow them to do more of what they want on their off hours.

And yet others become so dedicated to their job they will do anything asked because they feel they have to do it. My mom was like that. She was a nurse’s aide who loved caring for her patients, and quite frankly, let the hospital she worked at walk all over her.

Just now it’s an employer’s market, so unless job seekers have a very special set of skills, they have to take what they can get and like it. Those who work for understanding bosses or who haven’t been laid off are lucky indeed these days.

PS: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. All the best to you and your soon-to-be spouse.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Hi pumpkin…I don’t think it’s a scary world, I think the people are scary!! jkjkjk…But seriously I used to work in this cruise company that was fairly new, at least newer than carnival or more established cruise companies, and back then they had a great benefits package, they even had paid maternity leave after 1 year of employment for up to the full maternity leave!!! They were one of the few and first companies to have that they even paid the husband a small portion of their leave for their wive’s maternity leave!! And every 3 months you accumulated for your raise which was every 6 months, and every 3 months you accumulated 3 days of personal/vacation days off!!! And of course full-time got medical insurance at a certain price…medical, dental, vision, etc…

But were super stricted about hours of work, breaks, etc…If you were 1 minute late you got written up so in other words, lets pretend you get in at 7:56 right, and you need to be logged on into the server and answering phones by 8:00 am, but you are pg and having the whole bladder thing, so you run to the bathroom and don’t sign in until 8:00 am on the dot, you were considered late, no kidding!!! And got written up…Let’s say you were at your desk at 7:59 but you were looking at the new material and preparing yourself for your new items that you had to sell and by the time you finished reading the bulletin, newsletter, etc it was 8:05, well you are late again…And again written up!! During my pg working there I was so sick to my stomach, it was my first pg so I had morning sickness to the fullest, and afternoon sickness and night sickness I couldn’t hold anything down and instead of gaining weight the first 7 months I lost weight, and then the last 2 months I trippled!!! And they were not compassionate about my problem…nor situation…One time I had a horrible gas attack, struck me so hard I felt like I was having contractions and started bleeding a bit called the ambulance and everything and my boss was very upset when they said it was a case of gas attack as if I knew!!! Even when I stayed to make up the time it wasn’t enough…And was not acceptable…They despised it if you stayed 5-10 minutes to make up for your late lunch or late morning start…

But when I was on vacation every 3 months with the extra 3 personal days it was nice, I got to take 1 day off paid every month, or save my 3 days every 3 months and let them add up… I think I just let them add up after 6 months working there, it was nice to have 6 whole days paid!! I divided them up during the following 3 months and then for my maternity leave since it was before the year was up, I didn’t get to qualify for the paid maternity leave, so I just used whatever saved days I had plus my 2 weeks paid vacation and had an ok leave!! But as soon as I came back and about 1 month after the babysitter quit working, then I couldn’t find a daycare to watch over my infant because I was terrified and then the nanny I used to leave my daughter with had older children in her home that ended up hurting my 3 month old baby, etc…made things really difficult for me to stay in that job especially when I was getting told off about it…

The job I had before the cruise line was in a claire’s shop, the district manager was a really evil woman, since I was pg during that time and again with the whole morning sickness thing, I was afraid of a miscarriage being my first child and the fact that I would bleed a bit, when I would over work myself, I would try to take it slow and she wouldn’t hear it, she would tell me things like “You do realize that more than 90% of women are employees of this company and most have had children, and most of those have stayed till the day their water broke and no problems in doing their jobs!!!” I ended up answering her “well aren’t you lucky that you don’t know about being pg and having children!! and you know what not everyone is the same!! and different problems arise!!” I ended up being placed in bedrest during my employment in the cruise line, too much problems wasn’t helping the pg…

 

[iluvmybabies]

The point is that I haven’t had much luck with companies that are compassionate about family life…Not at all, and neither have my parents, nor siblings…My bil so far seems to be the only one, his job allows him to use his ot to purchase vacation days, for every 8 hours of ot that he has is = to 1 full vacation day! Of course during peak seasons which occur during summer time, the first 2 years he worked there since his children were a bit small and his wife still had a job, he worked 7 days straight every week for about 6 months straight, the ot he racked up was enough to purchase several weeks of vacation and he sacrificed a lot during the first 2 years and it was painful for my sis because she never saw her hubby but the years after they were enjoying instead of just the regular 2 week vacation and 1 week personal day’s worth of paid time off, they were able to enjoy about a month’s worth each year after that…Because every time he has the chance to do ot he takes it because he turns that into vacation time…and more time for the family!! You can even use your income for it as well, but he just uses his ot for it!

But you might have better luck in finding a great job with a great boss that will always be compasionate to your family and your needs!!!

So the best thing to do is look for work in what you like to do…Even if they are strict about leaving for family time, at least it will be in something you will enjoy getting paid for and worth your time, because when you don’t it adds up to the whole family issue a lot more and you will not enjoy working at all! Another thing if you can read up on a company’s benefits online, regarding any company you wish to work in then it will also help you out in the long run at least you can prepare yourself to certain restrictions or even to have your spouse and yourself get different time schedules to help raise your children on your own instead of depending on a daycare…Another thing a friend of mine does, he doesn’t have much family time either, he works and works and works and he used to work the 3rd shift finally now that his son needs his attention more, he had the chance after 5 years to move to the day shift, it’s been a hard change but he’s managing it, and he gets home about 3 hours after his gf leaves to go to work, so they just have family members or next door neighbors or friends, or part-time day care center take care of their son for those several hours…she has a pt job and gets home within 4 hours after he gets home, and they are not away from home for that much time…

 

[jmcrae]

I’ve been thinking a bit lately that I might be living in a bit of a fantasy bubble where bosses are reasonable about people not being able to work, and I think I need you people to break it for me, if it needs to be broken.

Ultimately, the bottom line for bosses is productivity, which they measure in dollars. If you cost more to keep than you bring in by means of your work, you will be let go - it doesn’t matter where you work, or how nice they are.

If you can get to the point where you’re a profitable hire, then you have to look at company culture. In some companies, it’s just understood that you come in before the boss, and leave after. Some companies ask you to punch a clock, and they do that for a reason - so that they know you’re coming in on time, and not leaving too early. These companies let you know what their leeway is (ten minutes late is okay, 15 minutes late and your pay gets docked a certain amount, with more being docked for every additional 15 minutes late, on top of not getting paid for the time not served. Other companies just ding you the amount that you weren’t present for, and leave it at that, regardless of how late you were or how early you left.

Where I’m working right now, I just keep a log of my hours and say what I did. I can do my work from anywhere in the world, as long as it gets done. I have to show up for all of my meetings (and I would be fired if I didn’t) but that’s it - everything else, I can do from home, or from their office, or from where ever I want.

 

[iluvmybabies]

The company I work for now, I work pt, so I don’t qualify for any benefits…but those that do get the whole enchilada…Depending on the dept they are in they may get a lenient boss that allows you up to 10 minutes of lateness signing in, since they have a nice cafeteria downstairs with some good home made food, many get distracted for about 5-10 minutes getting bkfst so again depenending on your sup you will not get into any problems if you were delayed because you were hungry…There are others that won’t allow you to be even 1 second late, one of my dear friend’s was terminated because she was late 45 seconds every morning, instead of 8:00 am on the dot she was there at 8:00 with 45 seconds and after 3 months of them monitoring her and seeing how it varied from 45 seconds to 15 seconds to 1 minute to 30 seconds etc they told her she had to leave!! I kid you not! Even after lunch she would come back to her desk, put her bag in her desk lock the desk back up punch her card and go to the bathroom to wash her hands and teeth then would log back in, she would be 3 minutes late even though her punchcard was on time, the computer was not and they wouldn’t tolerate that!! So they fired her!! And this woman was NEVER LATE!! She was always 15 minutes early at work and even 5 minutes early back from lunch every day, very sad how some areas do that to people! And she had worked for this company over 10 years!!

Anyhow, but like I said depending on your sup you will have some nice benefits with respect to lateness or even breaks and family time! They might even allow you to work from home in given emergencies, again depending on the boss you have! Since I am pt I get to have whatever days I need off, no pay but if my kids have an accident I don’t get written up for it…

Many of the ft get to have that as well, but with the promise of making their time up or using personal pd days…but at least they don’t get written up!!

 

[puzzleannie]

.

Honestly, what is this attitude that seems to exude from my parents’ generation that your job is your LIFE, you time belongs to who ever you work for and you HAVE to go in if you get called to cover for someone else and you get in trouble for having to take care of emergencies or having a baby? Is this honestly the way the work world works

I can’t speak for your parents, only me and my parents. once you punch the clock or go in the office, your time does belong to your employer. You need to make reasonable arrangements for child care and other necessities if you plan to work. That is simply a fact of life. Most if not all employers have a policy for sick leave or other emergency time off, and for maternity leave. Find out what it is before you take the job, and if it is not going to work for you, get another job. Bear in mind that when you are not on the job, somebody else has to cover for you, and maybe they are called away from their family to do it.

 

[Catholic90]

I’ve been thinking a bit lately that I might be living in a bit of a fantasy bubble where bosses are reasonable about people not being able to work, and I think I need you people to break it for me, if it needs to be broken.

Honestly, what is this attitude that seems to exude from my parents’ generation that your job is your LIFE, you time belongs to who ever you work for and you HAVE to go in if you get called to cover for someone else and you get in trouble for having to take care of emergencies or having a baby? Is this honestly the way the work world works??? Do people have that little compassion for others? I mean, I can understand being suspicious of someone who comes up with a LOT of reasons to not work, but you’d think more often than not people have legitimate issues that need taking care of. No wonder people get stressed out about work so much, if they’re expected to put their job above their families, and even God to keep them!

Am I just living in Happily-Ever-After land? Give me the run down, people, and don’t spare my feelings. I need to know, since I’ll be out there in that big bad world someday.

Well, once you start the job, the hours you are hired to work DO belong to the people you work for. That is what you are being paid for.

As far as if you HAVE to go in, that should be defined in whatever contract or work agreement is signed when you begin the position. If you sign on the dotted line agreeing to cover for others when necessary, then YES, you do HAVE to generally go in when called.

Places are in business to 1) provide a product or service and 2) make money. If you are not there to do your part, they fail on both accounts.

 

[pumpkinbeast]

Well, once you start the job, the hours you are hired to work DO belong to the people you work for. That is what you are being paid for.

As far as if you HAVE to go in, that should be defined in whatever contract or work agreement is signed when you begin the position. If you sign on the dotted line agreeing to cover for others when necessary, then YES, you do HAVE to generally go in when called.

Places are in business to 1) provide a product or service and 2) make money. If you are not there to do your part, they fail on both accounts.

I should clarify: obviously, the hours you work do belong to the company, but I was speaking more to ALL your hours of your life belong to the company, hence being expected to drop everything and come cover someone… again, if you agreed to, that’s understandable, but what about if you didn’t? It seems to me that you’re still expected to come in, even if you have things to do elsewhere.

I am thinking about all your points, thank you so much, keep them coming!

 

[Cat]

I think it depends on whether you have a job, a career, or a vocation.

A job is not a “life” but it is only a way to earn money. I have a job. When I was young and foolish, I thought it would be a career, but after doing lab work for over 20 years, I now think of it as a job. I do it only for the paycheck. My paycheck has never been used to pay for necessities in our family, but for luxuries: figure skating ($12,000/year per child and husband), private prep school ($10,000/year per child), and college ($40,000/year per child.) Now that my kids are grown up, my paycheck is being used to pay off the college debts and other family debts.

Careers and vocations are different. Many people would do them for free. And yes, they do consume your life and often compete with your family for your time and energy. I think it’s very difficult for a woman to have a career and a family. A job, yes. But a career–that’s hard.

 

[danimay]

Yes. My job is my life. My bosses never understand any of my problems or limitations…I’m on call 24 hours a day and I NEVER get a day off.

I’m a SAHM.

 

[Just_wondering]

Where I’m at, there’s a balance between work and life - but the boss has a lot of leverage.

I’m a teacher at a private academy - we don’t have access to substitute teachers, so days off and sick days are not really accepted. When the students are in the classroom, I have to be there, full stop. This would not be a job to have when you have a family - my coworker has two sons and is constantly stressed out.

I don’t feel as if my boss owns my time - my boss owns 36 hours of my time a week. Of those, the preparation hours I can decide on my own - sometimes I come in early so I can go home early, and other times I wander in only an hour before class instead of my usual two hours.

At the same time, my boss is trying to run a business (the academy is for-profit) and I understand and respect that. If the business goes under, I lose my job. I could find another one, but that would be inconvenient. When my boss wants me to do something above and beyond my contracted duties, I often agree to do it for the sake of the business. For example, next week I’m covering classes for a teacher on vacation. My hours will increase by 40%, and I won’t get overtime for it - but there are no substitute teachers available, I don’t want students to drop out, and it makes me popular with the boss so I can ask for what I want next time.

The girl going on vacation thinks I’m crazy. She demanded this vacation and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She won’t do anything that isn’t spelled out in her contract, and wants to negotiate overtime pay for times when she doesn’t finish marking at school and needs to take the papers home. I don’t think she’ll be long for this workplace - you’ve got to give a little to get a little.