Join us--wear a head covering to Mass Oct 2

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Hi Forest-Pine,

I think you’ve got my wife down as a yes, but I’ll bet the ranch she won’t.

You see, she is just too afraid of the social backlash. If I were her, I personally wouldn’t care, in fact I would tend to do it, perhaps less for the right reasons and more for the wrong ‘in your face’ reasons.

She will take the wait and see position. She won’t be the first, so there would have to be many more that did it before she would. I don’t understand the dynamics of female relationships, so I’m not going to push anything.

I have decided to discretely ask any new hat, veil, mantilla wearers I see next Sunday if they are CA junkies, after I praise and encourage them for what they did.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
 
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Forest-Pine:
Netmil(name removed by moderator)my,
How is the snood coming along? Any pictures yet?
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_14_13.gif
http://home.inreach.com/marthac/snod3514.jpg
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It’s not going very quickly. Working with thread on something this size is like doing an afgan!
I will not be at my parish on the second. That would have been easy because some women wear veils there. I will be at a Blessing of the Polish Dance troops in one of our downtown parishes. This church is beautiful but it’s a big handholding, Orans congregation. I am going to look REALLY out of place. Oh well!
Although I would have loved to have finished the snood, I think a scarf may be what I fall back on. Or maybe my chapel cap as I wear at my own parish. In my parish, the snood would have been different. At this one, the lace will stand out.
If this becomes an annual event, I’ll have it done for next year!
 
I have a wide peach colored headband I use when I give myself a facial mask. I don’t think that will do. Do you have more inspiring suggestions or thoughts?
[/quote]

There are lots of good one’s on this thread,

What I do is this…
Take a square scarf and fold it in half like a triangle.
Start to roll it at the point.
When you get to the other end, you have a headband.

I tie it with the knot to the top and tuck the ends in, but I have also done it with the knot at the neck for a straight look.

For ladies with slippery hair. Try the silver snap clips, shaped like triangles. They work in my daughter’s baby fine hair.

I got my chapel cap at a local bookstore for 3.75.
 
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rcn:
I think I’ll wear a football helmet.
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Somehow I thought you were male.
Anyway, Lady I bet you’ll get more stares in that football helmet than any of these other gals in scarves. Good!
And I guess if a football helmet is your thing, God Bless you!
 
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rcn:
Instead of referring to my points as “wonderful”, which I sense to be just as sarcastic as the day is long, maybe someone could actually respond to them. To the points, that is, and not to “me”, and not to any perceived “hostility”.
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I did.
See post 24.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
It’s not going very quickly. Working with thread on something this size is like doing an afgan!
I will not be at my parish on the second. That would have been easy because some women wear veils there. I will be at a Blessing of the Polish Dance troops in one of our downtown parishes. This church is beautiful but it’s a big handholding, Orans congregation. I am going to look REALLY out of place. Oh well!
Although I would have loved to have finished the snood, I think a scarf may be what I fall back on. Or maybe my chapel cap as I wear at my own parish. In my parish, the snood would have been different. At this one, the lace will stand out.
If this becomes an annual event, I’ll have it done for next year!
Click to expand...
When you finish your Snood, wear it to Mass!! Also, take a pic of your Snood and post it. We’d love to see it!
 
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Forest-Pine:
Khoria,

Do the Eastern Catholics usually wear a head covering? Does it depend on the parish or which ritual church?
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When I was Antiochian Orthodox, 90% of the women wore some variety of head covering, before that, in the Greek Orthodox it was around 50% (this in the parishes I attended.) I understand that it’s less common in the more Westernized (4th and 5th generation parishes).I’ve only been on this side of the Tiber less than 2 years. In my current parish (way out in the boonies), it’s common and certainly accepted. However, I was surprised how few wore head coverings when I went to the national convention of the eparchy last year, but I didn’t get any of the negative vibes I get when in the western church. Just my experience.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
It’s not going very quickly. Working with thread on something this size is like doing an afgan!
I will not be at my parish on the second. That would have been easy because some women wear veils there. I will be at a Blessing of the Polish Dance troops in one of our downtown parishes. This church is beautiful but it’s a big handholding, Orans congregation. I am going to look REALLY out of place. Oh well!
Although I would have loved to have finished the snood, I think a scarf may be what I fall back on. Or maybe my chapel cap as I wear at my own parish. In my parish, the snood would have been different. At this one, the lace will stand out.
If this becomes an annual event, I’ll have it done for next year!
Click to expand...
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_14_14.gif
I am still working on it, too… ha ha ha.
 
I am ashamed to say that I went to a Mass this last weekend and I didn’t have the courage to wear a headcovering.

It was my aunt’s funeral, and considering that EVERYONE was family, you’d think I would have been comfortable.

But it was obviously a very “progressive” parish with the tabernacle reserved far to the right of the altar and, now that I think if it…in the dark.

What I found REALLY odd was that although my entire family is Catholic and although the foundation of my family, the 14 brothers and sisters and their resultant progeny of theri marriages are mostly Catholic…no one seemed to know when to stand or when to kneel! :eek:

I always seemed to be the first to do anything, and while I’m happy to say it is now second nature (likely due to daily mass), I find it disturbing that my elders seemed lost during the Mass.

When I went forward to recieve Communion on the tongue as I do at every Mass, my aunt was the EMHC, and she seemed confused. I had to “prompt” her.

I know without a doubt that my wearing the veil would have stood out in this instance and so as I sensed this somehow (weird feeling before I even arrived), I did not want to take any attention away from my beloved aunt and my uncle who is suffering so much.

Yet, even so, I felt naked and I feel somehow like I betrayed God because I did not do what I feel called to do in no small part due to fear.

I have to say that the hostility on these forums did influence my fear…had I not read these posts, (in the various threads) maybe I woudl have had the courage. But the idea that my family may react like the strangers here, and I’m the black sheep of the family anyway…well, it was too much.

It is not so much that the culture needs to change to accomodate…it needs to change to accept that some of us really feel this call and need the freedom to respond.

Why does this have to be so hard.? Why are some people so hostile?
 
Khoria Anna:
When I was Antiochian Orthodox, 90% of the women wore some variety of head covering, before that, in the Greek Orthodox it was around 50% (this in the parishes I attended.) I understand that it’s less common in the more Westernized (4th and 5th generation parishes).I’ve only been on this side of the Tiber less than 2 years. In my current parish (way out in the boonies), it’s common and certainly accepted. However, I was surprised how few wore head coverings when I went to the national convention of the eparchy last year, but I didn’t get any of the negative vibes I get when in the western church. Just my experience.
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Thanks for the info! It is nice to know!
 
Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your aunt.

This might help you to put things into perspective: there are two people who have been vocally against veils on this thread. One of those is now suspended for some reason, so she apparently was not a happy camper about much. One happily supports those wearing veils but not being told that she must. (Thanks again for your support, Bear!) At least 15 and nearing twenty have stopped by to say that they will be wearing veils or support you doing so.

If you are concerned about the appearance of a veil, you could choose another style of headcovering that is less obvious.

If you knew that it would be highly divisive during a family funeral, it would not have been the time. Don’t beat yourself up over that! We will all be going through the same thing this coming Sunday TOGETHER and though it might be scary, this thread is proof that our fears are unfounded. Two complainers. Tons of well-wishers and support.

Catholicism is such a wonderful and beautiful faith because it allows for our personal expressions of faith. You know, I read in the Eastern forum the other day that in the Eastern Catholic churches, it is not uncommon to see people bow and cross themselves and even prostrate themselves during the services. It was compared to an “Amen” in a Protestant church, done whenever the Spirit moves you. No one looks down on you if you do. No one looks down on you if you don’t. We each are called to different expressions of faith, and Catholicism accomodates them all.

If you are worried about people knowing you, you could always visit a different parish for the day. Not knowing you, they’ll just assume you always wear a head covering and are there visiting. And, like I said before, it needn’t be a veil.
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JCPhoenix:
I am ashamed to say that I went to a Mass this last weekend and I didn’t have the courage to wear a headcovering.

It was my aunt’s funeral, and considering that EVERYONE was family, you’d think I would have been comfortable.

But it was obviously a very “progressive” parish with the tabernacle reserved far to the right of the altar and, now that I think if it…in the dark.

What I found REALLY odd was that although my entire family is Catholic and although the foundation of my family, the 14 brothers and sisters and their resultant progeny of theri marriages are mostly Catholic…no one seemed to know when to stand or when to kneel! :eek:

I always seemed to be the first to do anything, and while I’m happy to say it is now second nature (likely due to daily mass), I find it disturbing that my elders seemed lost during the Mass.

When I went forward to recieve Communion on the tongue as I do at every Mass, my aunt was the EMHC, and she seemed confused. I had to “prompt” her.

I know without a doubt that my wearing the veil would have stood out in this instance and so as I sensed this somehow (weird feeling before I even arrived), I did not want to take any attention away from my beloved aunt and my uncle who is suffering so much.

Yet, even so, I felt naked and I feel somehow like I betrayed God because I did not do what I feel called to do in no small part due to fear.

I have to say that the hostility on these forums did influence my fear…had I not read these posts, (in the various threads) maybe I woudl have had the courage. But the idea that my family may react like the strangers here, and I’m the black sheep of the family anyway…well, it was too much.

It is not so much that the culture needs to change to accomodate…it needs to change to accept that some of us really feel this call and need the freedom to respond.

Why does this have to be so hard.? Why are some people so hostile?
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P.S. Their not knowing when to stand or kneel might be the result of their doing things differently back home. I know of several parishes that got rid of kneelers and with them entirely got rid of kneeling. I know of a priest who is also proud of his “sit-down” masses. The only standing is during the Our Father and then through recieving communion. The rest is sitting. I did not know that the GIRM existed until coming here and they might simply think such things are the norm if they come from a parish like that. The average Catholic isn’t put in a situation of comparing church policies on a regular basis, much less of knowing what THE Church policies are.
 
👍 :clapping:

YEA!! I’m so happy to see so many of you trying this. I know you will all look so beautiful. I however, won’t be joining you. I am a greeter and help w/the offering…so I already feel “visible”. I really admire the woman (yes folks that is singular) that veils at my parish. She is a mom w/ 4 young boys under the age of 7 or 8…how does she keep that mantilla on anyway. :hmmm:

Anyway, I will say a prayer for all of you on Sunday and hopefully someday I will join you.
 
Hey Cradle! Glad to welcome you to our
INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED event!!

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Yes:
Forest-Pine
grotto
Brenda V.
netmil(name removed by moderator)
BlestOne
athanasiusrc’s wife and daughters
Lorrie
Detroit Sue
tadly’s wife
Helen HansenPye
JCPhoenix
Pug
soonersvi
Cathy
MamaBear7
Cradle
Maybe
snow_white
paramedicgirl
CarolAnnSFO
the phoenix
rayne89
RosaryLady
 
Please move me from the MAYBE to the YES column.

It looks like my parents won’t be coming in this weekend, so that frees me up to make the drive to the indult Latin Mass downtown this Sunday.

It’s actually about time that mantilla of mine be put to better use than just being stored away in a drawer as a treasured keepsake.

~~ the phoenix
 
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Forest-Pine:
Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your aunt.

If you are concerned about the appearance of a veil, you could choose another style of headcovering that is less obvious.

If you are worried about people knowing you, you could always visit a different parish for the day. Not knowing you, they’ll just assume you always wear a head covering and are there visiting. And, like I said before, it needn’t be a veil.

P.S. Their not knowing when to stand or kneel might be the result of their doing things differently back home. I know of several parishes that got rid of kneelers and with them entirely got rid of kneeling. I know of a priest who is also proud of his “sit-down” masses. The only standing is during the Our Father and then through recieving communion. The rest is sitting. I did not know that the GIRM existed until coming here and they might simply think such things are the norm if they come from a parish like that. The average Catholic isn’t put in a situation of comparing church policies on a regular basis, much less of knowing what THE Church policies are.
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Several things I have to comment on:

Firstly, I realize you don’t know me at all, but I wear a headcovering at every Mass I attend at my parish, I wear it in the adoration chapel. It’s not real common, but common enough so that it does not really attract attention. As I am a creature of habit and tend to inhabit the same places in genearal at Mass, I am not noticed by those who are around me.

One woman refused to offer me the sign of peace once. That was just weird.

Going to a different parish is not the answer here…I am USED to wearing the veil…it is my extended family that would have an issue.

Anyway, as far as my family goes…as far as I ever knew they were educated by habited nuns, and so grew up as devout Catholics. Catholicism runs deep in my family, and yet, as I attended this particular Mass celebrated mostly with family, nobody seemed to know what to do and I KNOW the structure they grew up with!

So you can see how this shocks me.

Their structure seems to have disintegrated and their parish, the one the funeral was in…well…not the church they grew up with. Very sad to see.

I do think there is an issue similar to the one I grew up with where the faith was so ingrained that it was taken for granted, and in spite of the education of the “strict” nuns, it didn’t “take”. When heterodoxy was introduced and the culture changed, followed by the various parish practices, I think my family just got caught up…and now they don’t know where they are supposed to kneel.

I love my family dearly…but had I worn a veil or headcovering of any type I have doubts I would have experienced much “love” coming from their end. It wasn’t about me, anyway, so I chose not to have that battle. I have worn my veil when my Mom, brother, and ultra-liberal-buddhist almost sister in law was with me…and I cringed in waiting for the comments.

My Mom actually covered her head also last Easter, and my brother was actually respectful and willing to understand why I did it.

It’s not an issue of lack of knowledge in my family…it’s an issue of laxity in general in our larger Church.

Sorry, didn’t mean to digress. :o
 
the phoenix:
Please move me from the MAYBE to the YES column.

It looks like my parents won’t be coming in this weekend, so that frees me up to make the drive to the indult Latin Mass downtown this Sunday.

It’s actually about time that mantilla of mine be put to better use than just being stored away in a drawer as a treasured keepsake.

~~ the phoenix
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**Yes:
**Forest-Pine
grotto
Brenda V.
netmil(name removed by moderator)
BlestOne
athanasiusrc’s wife and daughters
Lorrie
Detroit Sue
tadly’s wife
Helen HansenPye
JCPhoenix
Pug
soonersvi
Cathy
MamaBear7
Cradle
the phoenix

Maybe
snow_white
paramedicgirl
CarolAnnSFO
rayne89
RosaryLady
 
Forgot to say…

I have often considered wearing a hat, but the only thing I have that goes with anything else I wear is a baseball cap…and I just don’t consider it to be appropriate, even with JPII and “totuus tuus” written all over it!

I have 2 lace mantillas…a white one and a black one. I normally wear the black one as it blends better with my clothing, and since my hair is dark it doesn’t stand out so much anyway.

I’m willing to wear a simple cloth covering,b ut I haven’t been able to find anything. I will check out Target to see if they have the hats locally described in an earlier post.

I have a friend who wears a cute littel straw hat, round-brimmed, and just looks adorable. She and her mother both. (They are both married adults).

I would look ridiculous in those hats.

sigh

In general, I don’t look good in clothes. The only saveing grace I have is that I loook worse without them! 😛 :o

So I find it ironic that I go to Mass and cover up the only thing I look good in …my hair! 😛
 
I definitely look forward to doing this and thanks to Forest Pine for bringing this up, encouraging us and being so supportive!

I went to the Cathedral here this past Sunday (where I’m a member at). I like to get there early so I can say the rosary that the deacon leads. After we finished I was waiting on my mom to arrive (while saving her a seat). While looking around for her I didn’t notice anyone wearing a head covering of any kind. Wait, there is a female usher we have and she always wears beautiful hats (I’ve never seen her without one). Besides that there was no one else. This has made me decide to go to a different Church next Sunday (one that actually has a few women wearing head coverings and such).

Of course the most important thing is that I’m going to do it, maybe one day I can “graduate” and actually wear one at my own parish. I just truly don’t want to stand out/bring attention to myself. The only head covering type of item I own is a black lace mantilla (shoulder length). I don’t think I could ever wear something with bold colors or anything flashy as that is defeating the purpose (in my opinion).

I really look forward to doing this and I might do it sooner since I’m going to Mass tomorrow night at 6:00 at the Church I plan on wearing it at next Sunday.

I must add that I understand the other point of view some people are trying to make here. Just please try and keep an open mind and realize that we all aren’t alike. Certain women are obviously being called to do this and its ok. Why the big deal? Some of us maybe aren’t as confidant as you, maybe we are quite insecure when it comes to trying new things (even if it is solely for God). We live in a world where most of us are (or at least feel) like we are under a magnifying glass. A lot of us are so concerned with what others think, its sad but true. As long as we can have the attitude of “I see you are doing something different (as long as its not offensive), its not something I would do but I won’t judge you for it” issues like this wouldn’t be such a big deal.

I’m not above anyone else nor am I a more devoted Catholic than others, its just something I feel is right for me. Its not offensive to the Church and most importantly its not offensive to God, that’s all that matters.
 
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