Joing MENSA

[mdleagedguy]

Hi everyone,

I’m not sure if this is the right place for this thread, so if it’s in the wrong place, I apologize.

Anyhow, I don’t know if anyone knows anything about MENSA, but I’ve always been told by psychologists that I’m highly gifted, and it hit me that this might explain my problem with not being able to make friends/dating etc., so I’m thinking about taking a test to join MENSA. Does anyone know what it’s like? Is it good? Or is just a waste of time? The problem I have is that many gifted people tend to be somewhat anti-religious, and I really want to meet other Catholic people, but it still might be worth a shot.

Plese don’t take this as bragging, by the way, I’m really looking for an honest opinion,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

Being gifted does present some social difficulties. I was a gifted child, and I had to deliberately use smaller words so I could be understood by other children. I learned to read at two. I had the highest score on a standardized math test in the whole school district. You get pigeonholed as “the smart kid” in school. I recently completed an MBA program with a 4.0 GPA. I never felt the need to join MENSA. Here’s why. It gets easier. Gifted people make the mistake of thinking relationships are about facts and logic. But that’s not true. It’s about how you are making the other person feel. How do people feel around you? Act in ways that make them know you are a loving, caring individual who will be loyal and supportive, and you will find friends. You will fall flat on your face a lot, and that’s okay. It’s a numbers game. If you have only a 5% success rate and make the effort with a hundred people over a couple of years, you will have five good friends out of it. I am often frustrated as well, by the people who don’t get me, but when I look around I see a lot who accept and love me whom I might sometimes take for granted. I made it a point to meet a lot of people, never decline an invitation, stop “being right”, and taking an interest in what other people do that may not be what I do. It worked. My wife flunked out of community college, but I became her friend. She’s a great person, who brings a fun-loving aspect to our relationship that I would have completely lacked if I hadn’t met her. So what if she isn’t good at math? I was busy looking for all of the characteristics of “a date” when she was sitting under my nose the whole time. As a gifted person I had my own wrong ideas about friendship and love. It’s not about you, or how smart you are. It’s about how you make others feel, so concentrate on creating positive emotional experiences with other people. Don’t analyze it. Just do it, and understand it takes time and you’ll make some mistakes. Mistakes are okay. That’s how you grow, so its a good thing. Make people happy by being kind, supportive, and loving. This is what matters. A lot of time it won’t be appreciated, and that’s okay. You don’t need it to be appreciated. I’ts not about the 95% who won’t appreciate it, but the 5% who do. Over time, enough people will appreciate it that you will find yourself with friends and perhaps a spouse out of the deal. Good luck, and God bless!

 

[Kount_C]

By the way, for Kount C, I recommend a book my husband was reading with our kids last summer:

books.wwnorton.com/books/978-0-393-31152-5/

It’s called “Why Buildings Fall Down.”

Great stuff.

No thank you; I only read books filled with facts.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

This thread is fun to watch…

Paid membership in a group you can study for…

Well, you will meet the same people who wish to pay for ego as well. So there will be things you have in common…

 

[GEddie]

This thread is fun to watch…

Paid membership in a group you can study for…

Well, you will meet the same people who wish to pay for ego as well. So there will be things you have in common…

Hey! Leggo my ego!!!

 

[Xantippe]

No thank you; I only read books filled with facts.

I believe you will find it in the non-fiction section.

 

[signit]

I was a member, back in the 90s. I had high scores on college entrance exams. I didn’t see much benefit in it, and when the president of Mensa made a public statement that abortion should be legal post womb for two years for people who had mentally challenged children, I immediately dropped my membership.

Just to jump in here for a moment, that wasn’t the belief of the organization. Mensa has no opinions. This was one person in one local group. I remember when the story broke and it was repeated by Rush Limbaugh. I’ll try to find a link if you like.

I would suggest joining a Christian organization if you want to meet like minded people. I met my husband at Catholic Adult Singles Together–CAST.

There’s also an association of Catholic Alumni Clubs (CACs) for Catholic single adults, generally college graduates (not a dating service). The group in my area has a monthly newsletter with local get-togethers put on by members.

caci.org/index.php

 

[Micpray]

Just to jump in here for a moment, that wasn’t the belief of the organization. Mensa has no opinions. This was one person in one local group. I remember when the story broke and it was repeated by Rush Limbaugh. I’ll try to find a link if you like.

I agree it wasn’t the belief of the organization. My point was if that’s the type of people, who feel superior just because of I.Q., then it wasn’t for me. To each his own, but I didn’t want to be affiliated with people who thought in those ways.

 

[petitfleur]

If the fees are within your budget and it won’t harm you financially if you don’t like it, why not? It’s worth a shot anyway. There is also something called meetup.com people start groups based on interests, some examples are museum goers, hiking, movies, people who like board games, artists… People meet in public places, you don’t need to go to all the activities in a group. It seems like a reasonable way to meet people. I also agree about actively working on social skills. It does not
Come naturally for everyone, including me.

 

[felsguy]

…so I’m thinking about taking a test to join MENSA. Does anyone know what it’s like? Is it good? Or is just a waste of time?

As a member of American MENSA (and the volunteer responsible for administering the admission test in my local area) let me provide you with some facts as well some opinions based on my own experience and observations.

FACT: as stated in its constitution, Mensa has three purposes:
“To identify and foster human intelligence for the benefit of humanity.
To encourage research into the nature, characteristics and uses of intelligence.
To provide a stimulating intellectual and social environment for its members.”

OPINION: Just like joining any other club or organization individuals become members for all kinds of reasons. Just to name a few, for some it may be the validation, the challenge, or the ego boost; others may like to engage in stimulating even contentious discussion on a particular topic (sound familiar, CAFers?); others may enjoy meeting new people, performing service projects, or participating in the social activities, often centered around hobbies or dining out regularly with a group.

FACT: The only qualification for membership is scoring in the top 2 percent of the general population on a standardized intelligence test.

OPINION: Qualification does not in itself mean that one is wiser, better educated, likely to be more successful, of higher morals, more politically astute, more reasonable, more open to discussion, or more socially adept, although as in any organization there are individual Mensans who give that impression of themselves (again, sound familiar here?).

Again, these tests simply measure one’s natural ability in logic and deductive reasoning. Therefore there really isn’t any way to study for them. I always tell folks the only preparation you can do is get is a good night’s sleep prior to testing.

Also, the sample tests found on line are for information purposes and can serve as an indicator of how one may do on the actual qualification test but they have no bearing on whether or not one may sit for the qualification test.

FACT: As far as political, social or religious issues, MENSA as an organization does not take a stand, as stated in it’s constitution:

"Mensa as an organization shall not express an opinion as being that of Mensa, take any political action other than the publication of the results of its investigations, or have any ideological, philosophical, political, or religious affiliations.

Members or groups of members may express opinions as members of Mensa, provided their opinions or actions are not expressed as being those of Mensa as an organization."

OPINION: I realize that this approach may not set well with everyone but I point out that MENSA has 120,000 members from 100 different countries. And there are several forums where individual Mensans can and do debate such issues, often vigorously. It’s the old story: put 10 Mensans in a room and you’ll have 11 different opinions. And will some of these be “anti-religious”? Of course.

OPINION: So, will you make new friends, meet other Catholics, find someone to date, in general enjoy being a member of MENSA? Maybe!! It will be like joining a local club for people who are left-handed or green-eyed or survived a lightning strike. As others have pointed out above, it will all depend on who the other members are, the qualities, personalities, and attitudes they posses, and how well you mesh with them.

(I can’t believe I wrote this much )

 

[MaryCA]

Latinitas,

I qualify for MENSA by my Otis Lennon, Stanford Binet, PSAT, SAT, and GRE scores. My IQ is around 150-155 by the tests. That means that I am good at taking those tests.

I have below-average musical ability, average mechanical ability, average artistic ability, average kinesthetic ability and below-average ability dealing with animals. The standardized tests only measure certain types of abilities. I have friends who are above average in those other areas that I mentioned: musical, artistic, mechanical, kinesthetic, etc… If I look at various abilities and not just those assessed by standardized tests, then I am average.

I appreciate the fact that I have friends with various abilities and talents. I learn from them, even though those friends would not qualify for MENSA based on their test scores. There is more than one type of intelligence. I don’t go around telling people my test scores. A good way to make friends is to be interested in other people–what are their interests and concerns? I learn from my friends. I can’t discuss politics, religion, or history with my workout buddy, but we have fun talking about lighter things. I have a great friend who also has a high IQ by the tests, but she would be a terrible workout buddy. My friend who knows how to work with animals has taught me a lot through the years, although this person did not go to a 4 year college. I have a friend who makes wonderful Black Forest cakes. It is good to learn to appreciate people for who they are.

I never joined MENSA. I see people all around me who are highly gifted with a wide variety of abilities. I did not need MENSA to meet these amazing people–they are all around me. It was up to me to discover their gifts and abilities. Their gifts and abilities are different from mine.

  I have "brainy" friends, too.  That is useful for when I want to discuss religion, politics, or history in depth.  However, I don't want to sit around discussing religion, politics, and history all the time.  I enjoy going to concerts with my musical friend.  I enjoy viewing art with my artistic friend.

Take a close look at the people around you. Don’t assume that they are not gifted just because they don’t do as well on the tests. Don’t tell people around you that you are “highly gifted”–that can be a turn-off. (I only told about my scores here since people probably won’t connect this with the real me). There’s also interpersonal intelligence, and that helps with making friends and getting dates. Joining various organizations can help with making friends, but it is ultimately up to you. Making friends is good, but also learn about keeping friends. The best way to keep friends is to care about them.

 

[Xantippe]

Latinitas,

I qualify for MENSA by my Otis Lennon, Stanford Binet, PSAT, SAT, and GRE scores. My IQ is around 150-155 by the tests. That means that I am good at taking those tests.

I have below-average musical ability, average mechanical ability, average artistic ability, average kinesthetic ability and below-average ability dealing with animals. The standardized tests only measure certain types of abilities. I have friends who are above average in those other areas that I mentioned: musical, artistic, mechanical, kinesthetic, etc… If I look at various abilities and not just those assessed by standardized tests, then I am average.

I appreciate the fact that I have friends with various abilities and talents. I learn from them, even though those friends would not qualify for MENSA based on their test scores. There is more than one type of intelligence. I don’t go around telling people my test scores. A good way to make friends is to be interested in other people–what are their interests and concerns? I learn from my friends. I can’t discuss politics, religion, or history with my workout buddy, but we have fun talking about lighter things. I have a great friend who also has a high IQ by the tests, but she would be a terrible workout buddy. My friend who knows how to work with animals has taught me a lot through the years, although this person did not go to a 4 year college. I have a friend who makes wonderful Black Forest cakes. It is good to learn to appreciate people for who they are.

I never joined MENSA. I see people all around me who are highly gifted with a wide variety of abilities. I did not need MENSA to meet these amazing people–they are all around me. It was up to me to discover their gifts and abilities. Their gifts and abilities are different from mine.

  I have "brainy" friends, too.  That is useful for when I want to discuss religion, politics, or history in depth.  However, I don't want to sit around discussing religion, politics, and history all the time.  I enjoy going to concerts with my musical friend.  I enjoy viewing art with my artistic friend.

Take a close look at the people around you. Don’t assume that they are not gifted just because they don’t do as well on the tests. Don’t tell people around you that you are “highly gifted”–that can be a turn-off. (I only told about my scores here since people probably won’t connect this with the real me). There’s also interpersonal intelligence, and that helps with making friends and getting dates. Joining various organizations can help with making friends, but it is ultimately up to you. Making friends is good, but also learn about keeping friends. The best way to keep friends is to care about them.

Yes.

There’s also the issue that when an adult person says that they are gifted, the natural response is to say, “gifted at what?” If one has high test scores but is not otherwise performing in any notable way elsewhere, what good is all the potential?

I was a “gifted child” (although nobody used that terminology at the time) as a kid, skipped two grades in K-12 and started college at 16 and graduated before I turned 20, but I keep that quiet in normal life, as I prefer to look like a normal person, rather than as a fizzled gifted kid.

I have to say, though, that although I can’t say I’ve had an impressive career since college, that there have been advantages to all that skipping and precocity. I was able to finish a double major in college, work abroad two years and finish almost a full year of grad school before getting married at 22, which certainly has had advantages. My husband, coincidentally, also skipped 2 or 3 grades–can’t remember which. In his case, the advantages of precocity were even more marked, because he was able to finish his second graduate degree and have a good academic job by 28 years old, which is very unusual and put us in a much better position to raise a family than age peers that were still in graduate school at that age. A lot of people are just finishing up their doctorates around 40.

 

[petitfleur]

Latinitas,

I qualify for MENSA by my Otis Lennon, Stanford Binet, PSAT, SAT, and GRE scores. My IQ is around 150-155 by the tests. That means that I am good at taking those tests.

I have below-average musical ability, average mechanical ability, average artistic ability, average kinesthetic ability and below-average ability dealing with animals. The standardized tests only measure certain types of abilities. I have friends who are above average in those other areas that I mentioned: musical, artistic, mechanical, kinesthetic, etc… If I look at various abilities and not just those assessed by standardized tests, then I am average.

I appreciate the fact that I have friends with various abilities and talents. I learn from them, even though those friends would not qualify for MENSA based on their test scores. There is more than one type of intelligence. I don’t go around telling people my test scores. A good way to make friends is to be interested in other people–what are their interests and concerns? I learn from my friends. I can’t discuss politics, religion, or history with my workout buddy, but we have fun talking about lighter things. I have a great friend who also has a high IQ by the tests, but she would be a terrible workout buddy. My friend who knows how to work with animals has taught me a lot through the years, although this person did not go to a 4 year college. I have a friend who makes wonderful Black Forest cakes. It is good to learn to appreciate people for who they are.

I never joined MENSA. I see people all around me who are highly gifted with a wide variety of abilities. I did not need MENSA to meet these amazing people–they are all around me. It was up to me to discover their gifts and abilities. Their gifts and abilities are different from mine.

  I have "brainy" friends, too.  That is useful for when I want to discuss religion, politics, or history in depth.  However, I don't want to sit around discussing religion, politics, and history all the time.  I enjoy going to concerts with my musical friend.  I enjoy viewing art with my artistic friend.

Take a close look at the people around you. Don’t assume that they are not gifted just because they don’t do as well on the tests. Don’t tell people around you that you are “highly gifted”–that can be a turn-off. (I only told about my scores here since people probably won’t connect this with the real me). There’s also interpersonal intelligence, and that helps with making friends and getting dates. Joining various organizations can help with making friends, but it is ultimately up to you. Making friends is good, but also learn about keeping friends. The best way to keep friends is to care about them.

I don’t think OP is assuming others around her are not gifted, or worthy. They are just looking for social situations. Not everyone is good at making new friends. I know people say things like find friends at church and get involved. Not all parishes have active social opportunities. I tried to sighn up for several classes at my parish. They were all cancelled due to not enough interest. I go to the rosary group on occasion, some daily Mass(I realize consistancy is important) I have tried the women’s group… I have felt like a fish out of water.
We have a new priest, I have hope that things will change. He is very conservative and also very engaging with the parishioners. I do t know why, but there seemed to be a negative attitude toward our last priest. I don’t think there was anything wrong with him, but I do think he was an introvert and a bit socially awkward.
I think lots of people feel unconnected. Doing things you enjoy in a social setting is a good way to meet people.

 

[white_sheep]

I had an internship one summer for four months that was far away from everyone I knew and I considered joining. I looked into what they do and it didn’t seem appealing to me so I never joined. You just have to look at what they do and see if it interests you.

 

[Kount_C]

What does the IQ test, dictate? I didn’t go to high school, and am finishing 2 engineering degrees now. I was bidding on houses cash at 29, when most of my friends where smoking dope.

One of my good friends didn’t finish high school, he owns 4 houses out right, and always keeps 200k cash in his gun safe.

What standard does the IQ present ? Education is so much of a scam, it makes it fairly confusing to hear about these standards; I’ve seen genetically gifted engineering students; on a golden pedestal getting strung out on addies or cocaine and cutting every corner.

 I personally wanted to get tested for ADHD at one time. As I can only hyper focus on overly complicated things, like thermodynamics or differential equations

I fail miserably at “simple” things in school; that most people tend to tackle outside of the hard core STEM topics. I do not exceed at the overly complicated subjects. I’m a B student. But; I have enough focus to receive a dopamine release if I am interested.

I’ve had such a dopamine release with calculus and other engineering topics that I can no longer concentrate on simple tasks.

I know this is outlining the topic, but I thought I would throw it out here. Since there was a bunch high scoring college grads posting here.

Anyway … Cheers!

 

[petitfleur]

What does the IQ test, dictate? I didn’t go to high school, and am finishing 2 engineering degrees now. I was bidding on houses cash at 29, when most of my friends where smoking dope.

One of my good friends didn’t finish high school, he owns 4 houses out right, and always keeps 200k cash in his gun safe.

What standard does the IQ present ? Education is so much of a scam, it makes it fairly confusing to hear about these standards; I’ve seen genetically gifted engineering students; on a golden pedestal getting strung out on addies or cocaine and cutting every corner.

 I personally wanted to get tested for ADHD at one time. As I can only hyper focus on overly complicated things, like thermodynamics or differential equations

I fail miserably at “simple” things in school; that most people tend to tackle outside of the hard core STEM topics. I do not exceed at the overly complicated subjects. I’m a B student. But; I have enough focus to receive a dopamine release if I am interested.

I’ve had such a dopamine release with calculus and other engineering topics that I can no longer concentrate on simple tasks.

I know this is outlining the topic, but I thought I would throw it out here. Since there was a bunch high scoring college grads posting here.

Anyway … Cheers!

I don’t think anyone is saying that people who score higher on IQ tests are any more important or successful or better than anyone else.

 

[baliano]

I did belong to Mensa, once for a few years during the seventies, quit and rejoined about 2009 and quit again. By and large the groups to which I belonged were comprised of people who either were non-religious but courteously tolerant to a large contingent who were down right anti religion. Most were well to the left politically and intolerant of any opinion they did not share.

I joke about being sufficiently smart that I knew better than to pay someone for the privilege of proclaiming it.

I wish you well on your membership journey. Keep smiling and don’t let them provoke you to anger.

 

[DakiniArtist]

I don’t think OP is assuming others around her are not gifted, or worthy. They are just looking for social situations. Not everyone is good at making new friends. I know people say things like find friends at church and get involved. Not all parishes have active social opportunities. I tried to sighn up for several classes at my parish. They were all cancelled due to not enough interest. I go to the rosary group on occasion, some daily Mass(I realize consistancy is important) I have tried the women’s group… I have felt like a fish out of water.
We have a new priest, I have hope that things will change. He is very conservative and also very engaging with the parishioners. I do t know why, but there seemed to be a negative attitude toward our last priest. I don’t think there was anything wrong with him, but I do think he was an introvert and a bit socially awkward.
I think lots of people feel unconnected. Doing things you enjoy in a social setting is a good way to meet people.

Wow. I totally could have written this! What PF says.

I enjoyed our MENSA group in the '90s. I met a diverse group (I was in a bigger city.) I learned a lot, got turned on to some other writers, authors, books, music, movies… It was great. For me, socially, it was a boon.