Joining an order in widowhood

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ok its a bit early to be thinking about it as we arnt yet married but…

my (future) husband is 30 years older than i therfore concevably i could be a widow at 45 i dont fancy living on my own and am thinking of becoming a nun upon justins death .

i have aproached th sovereign milatary order of malta as i ahve worked for st johns ambulance since i was small and my farther in law is a brother knight in the order , however they have disolved all their covenents and no longer see a place for nuns in the order.

dose anyone know of another order that is open enough for me to see my children (should we be blessed) i dont mind if their contemplative or active .

any advice is greatfully received .
 
Congratulations on your engagement!

You are embarking on a spousal relationship. Another spousal relationship is that of being a sister betrothed to Jesus Christ through the vows. If you feel called to give your body and soul to Jesus Christ, why not do it now before getting married? If you don’t have that spousal gift to Jesus Christ alone, then the religious life is probably not your vocation, now, or ever.
 
I agree with SerraSemper. In addition,
my (future) husband is 30 years older than i therfore concevably i could be a widow at 45 i dont fancy living on my own and am thinking of becoming a nun upon justins death .
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Not wanting to live alone may be a reason to get a roommate or a pet. It’s not a reason to join a religious order.
 
not wanting to be alone is my reason for wanting to join a covant .

i am aware that getting maried would prevent me from taking my solem vows as there is no sutch thing as a confrare sister which is why i was wondering if i could do so at a later stage (why men have the oppertunity to have a family and join a monastic order yet women do not i shall never undertand)

as strange as this might sound justin got together through monstasim .

we teach children about the order of the knights hospitaler and christianity and we pray the office of the hours (3am 6am 9am 12pm 3pm 6pm 9pm 12am) and cellerbrate mass everyday i also care for the elderly in the comunity we both see our selves as married to god .

apart from the vow of chasticy we effectivly live a monastic life
(even our house is not ours we have donated the land to the sovereigh milatery order of malta ((kights hospitalar)) and any money we make goes straight to them )

i do feal i have a calling to monastasicm but i am also in love and in my eyes bringing a child up in the faith with a man just a strong in faith as i am is the higher good.

feal free to corect me if i am wrong in my thinking . in the past two years i have found god through the advice on this website and justins encouragement i have found a love of christ which i had previously denihged, i am currently going through my cattecism and i sincerly wish to devote my life to god . isnt the highest form of praise love ? to concieve a child and bring it up in his love knowing him isnt that the greatest gift i can give to the lord?

im not sure im making myself verry clear .

i wish to walk wholely in the footsteps of the lord but i wish to do so hand in hand with this wonderful human being .
 
You would have to look around, but there are orders that accept widows. Whether, when the time comes, they would discern that you have a calling to their order is another matter.
 
Being a widow would not preclude your entering nor would having children. My advice would be stay involved in the church… and should circumstances happen that you did become a widow then contact a vocation director at that time.
Many orders accept mature vocations… it would just be a matter of being called… Perhaps in the meantime you might get to know various rules or ways of life as a secular [Carmelite or Franciscan or Dominican to name a few]… then should it happen that you were widowed you would have contacts.

Most importantly enjoy the state of life to which you are presently called…And do be in contact with your spiritual director… he or she might give you further guidance for your present journey as well as future plans.
Peace :angel1:
seeking_light said:
not wanting to be alone is my reason for wanting to join a covant .
[Not wanting to live alone is not the best of reasons to join… but again talk to your spiritual director]
i am aware that getting maried would prevent me from taking my solem vows as there is no sutch thing as a confrare sister which is why i was wondering if i could do so at a later stage (why men have the oppertunity to have a family and join a monastic order yet women do not i shall never undertand)
[Married Men don’t join a monastic order… Widowed Men is a different Matter though]
as strange as this might sound justin got together through monstasim .

we teach children about the order of the knights hospitaler and christianity and we pray the office of the hours (3am 6am 9am 12pm 3pm 6pm 9pm 12am) and cellerbrate mass everyday i also care for the elderly in the comunity we both see our selves as married to god .
[What a wonderful way to meet and a wonderful witness the two of you provide]
apart from the vow of chasticy we effectivly live a monastic life
(even our house is not ours we have donated the land to the sovereigh milatery order of malta ((kights hospitalar)) and any money we make goes straight to them )

i do feal i have a calling to monastasicm but i am also in love and in my eyes bringing a child up in the faith with a man just a strong in faith as i am is the higher good.

feal free to corect me if i am wrong in my thinking . in the past two years i have found god through the advice on this website and justins encouragement i have found a love of christ which i had previously denihged, i am currently going through my cattecism and i sincerly wish to devote my life to god . isnt the highest form of praise love ? to concieve a child and bring it up in his love knowing him isnt that the greatest gift i can give to the lord?
[Yes Marriage is a wonderful vocation…how lucky you are to have found a devout soul mate]
im not sure im making myself verry clear .

i wish to walk wholely in the footsteps of the lord but i wish to do so hand in hand with this wonderful human being .
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thank you all for your kind words

however …

“[Married Men don’t join a monastic order… Widowed Men is a different Matter though]”

im sorry poor clair tobe but in that respect you are wrong . my father in law is a confare brother of the sovereighn milatary order of malta and receives his scapula in december (im not sure how long that represents posably 5 years ) he is married and has 4 children his wife is verry mutch still alive and kicking as are all his children . the only diference between a confrare brother and a monk is the vow of chastacy and as they have familys they live in comandaries not convents.

proof in the picture attached
View attachment 3674
the picture above is 3 years old if you whish i will provide more uptodate pictures when we next visit in 2009
(he lives in australia so visits are few and far in between)
 
seeking_light said:
i do feal i have a calling to monastasicm but i am also in love and in my eyes bringing a child up in the faith with a man just a strong in faith as i am is the higher good.
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Seeking light,
You may very well have a vocation to marriage. However, I just wanted to note that the Church teaches that the consecrated life of celibacy is a higher calling than marriage.

You may read more information on this here; religious-vocation.com

May the Blessed Virgin guide you in your discernment.

Blessings.
 
The Order of Malta is a religious Order comprised of both religious and lay members. It sounds like your father in law is a lay member. Your future husband could only be a lay member as he could not be married and religious. In short, it is like being a Third Order member.

If you should want to be a member of the Order, you can see whether you qualify, and whether someone would be willing to sponsor you. Check out the regulations in your country. The annual membership fee amounts to about $1,000 here in the United States as the knighthood is not just an empty title but requires works of charity and charitable donations.
 
SerraSemper said:
The Order of Malta is a religious Order comprised of both religious and lay members. It sounds like your father in law is a lay member. Your future husband could only be a lay member as he could not be married and religious. In short, it is like being a Third Order member.
[Thank you Serra… you stated it much more clearly than I did]
If you should want to be a member of the Order, you can see whether you qualify, and whether someone would be willing to sponsor you. Check out the regulations in your country. The annual membership fee amounts to about $1,000 here in the United States as the knighthood is not just an empty title but requires works of charity and charitable donations.
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Good luck on your search seeking light… whether it ends in marriage or a consecrated vocation instead of or after marriage… May your life be full of blessings!
 
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