This is my last off-topic post in this thread. Presuming grandiosa reads it while not logged on, or gets another account. And I’ll add something on-topic near the bottom too
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Or it allows people to project more easily upon those people what they want to be true, without any real-life interactions getting in the way.
Yes, people lie in real life. Eventually they get caught out because the people who see them in real life start to realize things aren’t adding up. Only the most accomplished con-artists can get away with big lies for very long.
Not everyone on the internet is a liar, though. I have been honest with those I feel I can trust, and from what I gather, they have been honest with me. There’s no reason to lie when you discuss interests that you both have, for instance. There’s no point.
I know things about my friends because we got to know each other slowly, in a natural way. Getting closer over a long period of time. And every time something happened that would verify or disprove what they told me, it was clear that I had been told the truth. Everything fit. No, I don’t know everything for sure is 100% true, but I have never had reason to believe they are lying to me. I can read their body language at the time they speak to me, and there are a lot of good indicators of truthfulness (or not) there.
The same can be said about chatting with someone. Keeping up a long term lie online can be quite hard. One can easily forget their persona and give a different place they live, for instance, or some other error. And in the same manner as you- everything does fit with everyone I have talked to. I have no reason to believe I’m being lied to just because we’re typing and not talking.
If my teenage child’s only “close” friendships were online, I would worry about him or her and encourage interacting with real people. If I thought it was bad enough, I might even turn off my internet. Neglecting the formation of face-to-face, day-to-day relationships, in which one has obligations to the other person, in favor of nebulous online “sharing” that has the appearance of depth and gives a false feeling of intimacy is one of the unhealthiest things I can imagine. It’s a large part of the reason why our culture is failing on so many levels. People are living in sanitized fantasies over which they have total control, instead of learning how to deal with the sometimes messy, but ultimately more rewarding push-and-pull, give-and-take of real relationships with real people who are in their lives all the time.
I’m 19, not really a teenage child. And as a writer whose work revolves around things that aren’t ‘real,’ the statement amuses. “Obligations” to people? That sounds so strict. As for false feelings… we have false feelings over people in real life as well. All of what you say can be given a RL example. And even more so, in real life you can be manipulated to do things for other people that just want to use you- “watch my kids for me” “hey, can you drive them all to school today?” etc. Which seems much worse than procrastinating on homework to talk to someone for an hour.
And if my daughter’s boyfriend was someone who lived across an ocean, and whom she claimed to be “dating” for three years after spending only 12 days together, probably in several small blocks… I would be crying over her at night and terrified for her future.
Twice- once for three days in Poland, and I was in London for nine-and-a-half over New Years. And claimed? Ooh, dating is in quotations too.
Yes, we’re dating. We love each other, and all that other fun cliche teen stuff that you hear on TV. For three years, committed, in constant contact online and over phone. Met twice.
I’m sorry, but that just is not real. How could it possibly be? He could literally be doing anything with anyone, and you would never know. Ditto to him, with you.
I do not understand this.
Thank you very much for implying both my love and I are cheaters because we don’t live in the same neighborhood. As for real… how is it not real? How is being faithful and trusting to someone that gives the same to you, a lie?
I don’t understand the automatic distrust.
Now on-topic! I agree with SBTheresa: She might have bragged about you being a missionary, and then had to take it back. And adding “it was just a joke” makes it seem like you may not take missionary work seriously- which may have hurt too. As said before, wait a bit, pray a bit, and hopefully it’ll smooth out.
