Joy of Christ

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PelagiathePenit

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I never feel happy being a Christian. I just feel like it is whole lot of waiting, rules, and regulations. In the end, God is supposed to promise you happiness for living life His way. I do not see it that way.
It may sound bad. I am tired of waiting to have sex til marriage. I am not getting younger or prettier. I know the bible says whatever there is more value to a woman than her looks. Most men value women on their looks.
Supposedly life is worth enjoying, I do not see it that way, though. Don’t worry, I am not suicidal or anything. It just feels like with Christianity, I must be perfectly every moment. I cannot stand it. I do not see how life is always that great. There always something wrong with you, some sin you must address, some way you did something wrong to apparently offend God. Ah, Whatever.
 
These rules are meant to help us to be happy. You may not be happy abstaining right now, but wait until your wedding night, when God will show you true joy. If you give yourself before then, it just won’t be the same.

Following God’s way is not easy, but it is SO worth it, in this world and the next.

And while you are waiting, remember that you are abstaining for your future spouse. This is your gift to him. I wish I had waited for my husband. It’s one of my biggest regrets.

I’ll pray for your perseverance and wisdom. God bless!
 
I never feel happy being a Christian. I just feel like it is whole lot of waiting, rules, and regulations. In the end, God is supposed to promise you happiness for living life His way. I do not see it that way.
My advice would be to simply pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy or Rosary.

How to pray the Rosary
Jesus to Catalina:
Praying the Rosary - loveandmercy.org/Eng-PR-Reg.pdf

**"…with the Rosary in your hands, even though your minds are blank, I will enter the depths of your hearts. You will feel My presence through the love that will be penetrating you…

"I ask you to renew your life from day to day; to be meek in your praying; learn to ask with simplicity, with the same naturalness that children ask their parents. I do not want forced words and phrases for your brothers to hear you; I want simple words but modulated with the heart.

"Each decade of the Holy Rosary that you repeat, the angels gather and place as an offering at the feet of My Holy Mother.

“When you pray the Rosary for someone, every bead is a drop of My blood and those drops fall on the person for whom it is offered.

"I greatly approve of humble prayer, that is, prayer that is based on your inability to understand and desire what is the right thing, what is pleasing to Me.**
How to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy

Jesus to St. Faustina -

"Oh, what great graces I will grant to souls that say this chaplet; the very depths of My tender mercy are stirred for the sake of those who say the chaplet" (Diary, 848).

"At the hour of their death, I defend as My own glory every soul that will say this chaplet; or when others say it for a dying person, the indulgence is the same" (Diary, 811).
"Jesus to Catalina:
The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf

In prayer the soul is fortified for the most difficult things and God communicates with it and advises and inspires it even if the soul does not feel it.
If you get a chance, I also believe meditation on Christ’s Passion will help much, especially the following book -

The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ - Anne Catherine Emmerich - jesus-passion.com/DOLOROUS_PASSION_OF_OUR_LORD_JESUS_CHRIST.htm
It may sound bad. I am tired of waiting to have sex til marriage.
May I ask, do you plan to marry someday? and if you do, may I ask what advice you would give to your future husband if these same thoughts were rolling around in his head?
It just feels like with Christianity, I must be perfectly every moment. I cannot stand it. I do not see how life is always that great. There always something wrong with you, some sin you must address, some way you did something wrong to apparently offend God. Ah, Whatever.
Please take the advice above, by praying those prayers and reading even a chapter of the book above and I believe you will feel completely different.

God Bless, I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
The thing is that Christianity, going against societal norms, can be really hard. Definitely.

But don’t buy into the allusion that something like premarital sex is always fun. There’s the momentary pleasure, and maybe in the best case scenario it helps you find someone who wants to be with you, but there’s so much to consider objectively. Aside from the sinful nature itself, there are real obvious consequences like unwed pregnancy that can be really hard. Being used in relationships, STDs etc.

Think about Christian sacrifice like diet and exercise. It’s hard work and commitment for a reason. When you go off your diet a little it’s that much extra work to get back to wear you were.

Actually think about more as like avoiding sugar for a diabetic. I think that’s more accurate. Idk prayers for you. It is hard. Don’t sell yourself short there. My spouse and I waited for marriage and we dated for several years prior. Very difficult. I just know I want to do everything I can to avoid hurting God by sinning. I am imperfect but I keep trying. Hang in there.

God and His church has rules to protect and guide you and give you the ultimate freedom of grace and not being slaved to sin.
 
… I am not getting younger or prettier. I know the bible says whatever there is more value to a woman than her looks. Most men value women on their looks.
…
While it is true that you are not getting younger, I do not agree with your self-assessment that you are not getting prettier. I don’t know about “most men,” but among the sort of men that you might like to be with, beauty has a lot to do with confidence, kindness, thoughtfulness, and many other personal traits. I have often told my daughter, who thinks she needs makeup to look pretty, that a natural smile works much better.
 
… I just feel like it is whole lot of waiting, rules, and regulations. In the end, God is supposed to promise you happiness for living life His way.
…
It just feels like with Christianity, I must be perfectly every moment. I cannot stand it. I do not see how life is always that great. There always something wrong with you, some sin you must address, some way you did something wrong to apparently offend God. Ah, Whatever.
In many ways, righteousness helps you even in this life. For example, if you are honest, others will develop trust in you, and you will benefit from their trust. If you respect yourself and others, then others will respect you.

You don’t have to be perfect to get some benefit. For example, if you forgive only small offenses, even that will improve your friendships and other relationships (for example, the way you work with others in the workplace). It is more difficult to forgive great offenses, but if you can do it, it will bring you greater inner peace and may even turn an enemy into a friend.

At every point in your life, be as virtuous as you can reasonably be, look for ways to improve, but do not be discouraged when you fall short of perfection. All of us, all the time, fall short of perfection. God loves us anyway.

As for chastity and waiting until marriage, I have to agree this is difficult, but try to envision the joy that it will bring you and your future spouse to have waited for the right time.
 
Hi there

I came back to the church last year and it is the best decision I ever made. I lived with my husband before marriage, used contraception etc and these are things I now really regret.

Don’t make the same mistakes I made! Yes. There are many rules but these rules are there to make your life richer.

Living according to christian values can be very difficult but it is also very rewarding.
 
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