Judaism or Catholicsm?!

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lostandconfused

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I have a weird dilemma.

I have become very confused and lost (thus the name!)

In the past year or so I have gotten extremely distanced from Christianity. I have a lot of problems with how things are viewed.

My boyfriend comes from an agnostic/atheist home and he however, has an interest in judaism. So we started researching it together. There is so much I agree with, but my biggest dilemma is the cultural aspect.

I have been going to a synagogue, and I just get the feeling sometimes that I’m such an outsider. I’m not a “real” Jew, and the whole culture is so overwhelming.

I get very lonely for my culture, I’m Italian, Roman Catholic raised.

My boyfriend and I may become engaged very soon, so I think of this now because when I marry, I want to marry on some moral grounds, I want God to be apart of it from the start. I want to know where I stand, but I feel extremely confused. I dont even really feel like I can pray any more.

I dont know how to talk to my boyfriend about this, because I know that he really feels no connection with the Catholic faith. I dont know how to express my concerns, and I dont really know how to even deal with this confusion right now.

I like Judaism because of its emphasis on life, and making the world a better place and bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth…Christianity’s emphasis on “you have to die to get to the good part” is very unnerving to me.

And Jesus as the Messiah is very difficult for me. How is it that God became three, became incarnated, and killed himself when God is supposed to be ONE?

I feel like running back to the Church but the thing is, I know when I get there, I’ll still be confused.

Thoughts?! (this is a really vague question I know!)
 
Have you thought about joining a class? My church has adult conformation class’s anyone can go to without having to commit themselves to the church or conformation. Making a appointment to talk to a priest might help also. The questions you have are about Church teachings so you will not find your answers from the outside looking in or an a individual mass. The mass is centered on the Eucharist not teaching.
 
Christianity,more specifically Catholicism is the conclusion or continuation of Judaism.The first Christians were Jews.The rest just haven’t caught up yet…but they will.

The Trinity is,as the nuns taught me, a Mystery which cannot be successfully comprehended with our finite and empiricle minds.God did not become three-He is was and shall be always one.There are three persons within this one God which is as I said impossible to imagine with minds chained to earth.Don’t bother TRYING to fathom it.It’ll only give you a headache.Accept this Mystery in Faith.

Jesus did not commit suicide nor did God MAKE it happen,but He knew it would.Pilate,the Pharisees,the Roman soldiers all had free will.Jesus,like the pascal lamb of passover was sacrificed(and consumed;) )as the only possible sufficient act of reparation to God’s Justice for the sins of Mankind.

If you feel like running back to Church,RUN!!!It’s probably your Guardian Angel who is prompting you.Talk to a priest and tell him its an emergency.I also recommend any book by Rosalind Moss who is a convert from Judaism and is now also,I think,a nun.Prayers to St Edith Stein,Martyr and Saint asking for her prayers for you to our Lord are also recommended.🙂 .

I will pray for you and your boyfriend.

God brought you to Catholic Answers for a reason;)
 
Stop, take a moment and clear your mind. You are considering a man to marry that has no interest in your religion, yet, perhaps takes an interest in a different one, maybe???
When people fall away from the church it is for 2 reasons,
  1. they lack the full understanding of Christs teachings
    or
  2. they marry into another faith and lack the full understanding of Christ and disregard his gift and just go with the spouses religion.
In both cases the problem lays with lack of knowledge. with knowledge comes power, with power comes strength, with strength comes the ability to overcome . Thus what Jesus did for us. He over came evil when he died on the cross.
Right now, during the season of lent gives us a great opportunity for spiritual soul searching.
If you decide to marry and realize in 5 years that your heart belongs in the Catholic church will you feel lonely if your spouse doesn’t join you for Mass? What about kids?
(This is why Pre-canna is a must). You have a lot of thinking to do.
 
Have you spoken with a priest about this? How about a rabbi? 🙂
 
I think I will try to make an appointment with a priest soon. I have spoken with a Rabbi, and he was nice, but they’re traditionally not exactly welcoming to converts, so its kind of a weird feeling. I understand where they are coming from, but it makes an interested person like me feel a little alone in the whole process.

I think I just need to work through my problems and understand what it is thats going on. I need to really figure out if I do truly believe in Jesus Christ, maybe I have just gotten out of touch lately but its still within me as “the truth”. I might just be so turned around from searching that I lost the destination.

You have to understand, I love this man very much and I want to marry him, hes an incredible person, and I want him to come to know and understand God’s love. I know hes open to that, and with his interest in Judaism, it excites me that we’re one step closer, but I am not sure if I am truly meant for Judaism or not, or if I am meant to stick with what I was born into. He’s a blank canvas, I am imprinted forever.

Thank you so so so much for your replies so far. Theyre extremely helpful.

kennewickmike…is that by any chance a reference to kennewick man? That would be awesome if it was. woo archaeology.
 
kennewickmike…is that by any chance a reference to kennewick man? That would be awesome if it was. woo archaeology.

Close… I am from Kennewick. They found the skeleton in the park right down the street from me. Just remember that you reaching out like this is because God has reached out to you. That is why you are curious. God love you
 
lostandconfused said:
I think I will try to make an appointment with a priest soon. I have spoken with a Rabbi, and he was nice, but they’re traditionally not exactly welcoming to converts, so its kind of a weird feeling. I understand where they are coming from, but it makes an interested person like me feel a little alone in the whole process.

I think I just need to work through my problems and understand what it is thats going on. I need to really figure out if I do truly believe in Jesus Christ, maybe I have just gotten out of touch lately but its still within me as “the truth”. I might just be so turned around from searching that I lost the destination.

You have to understand, I love this man very much and I want to marry him, hes an incredible person, and I want him to come to know and understand God’s love. I know hes open to that, and with his interest in Judaism, it excites me that we’re one step closer, but I am not sure if I am truly meant for Judaism or not, or if I am meant to stick with what I was born into. He’s a blank canvas, I am imprinted forever.

Thank you so so so much for your replies so far. Theyre extremely helpful.

kennewickmike…is that by any chance a reference to kennewick man? That would be awesome if it was. woo archaeology.
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You must remain true to yourself, it doesn’t sound like you are so much convinced by Judaism as you are placating your soon to be husband. Also, ask your boyfriend what he specifically has against the Catholic Church, and once he has given the specifics, go to a priest or for that matter research your childhood faith for yourself (Catholic Answers is a great way to learn the faith). I would suggest doing both however, and confronting your boyfriend with your findings. By the way, what form of Judaism is he interested in - orthodox, reform, conservative. . . etc.
Just remember to put God first, no matter how much you love your boyfriend. If you do this I promise things will work out. And lastly, pray, pray ,and pray.

Oh by the way, I am an Italian who was raised Catholic too, so I understand how attached you may be to your cultural background.

P.S. I forgot to mention reading the Bible, and rent if you can the Passion of the Christ and watch it together. Go to Mass and bring him along. Do everything you can to regain the faith you think you are losing.

God Bless, and I will be praying for you!
 
Youre right, I need to pray a lot more. I think thats my biggest problem. I have gotten afraid to talk to God because I am unsure, I feel weird praying and being unsure, I dont want to be disrespectful. I know thats totally backwards.

If I am completely and totally honest with a priest, they will be okay with me doing that, right? I dont want to be disrespectful to a priest by saying anything negative, I know how they feel about it, I dont want to seem like some negative person.

Thank you for your replies, once again, they are kind, helpful, and exactly what I need. Thank you for not telling me I’m ridiculous for not believing in Jesus or something, I know how you feel, I know that you feel I should follow Jesus, and I want to if thats whats right in the end for me and what happens in my life, but I am extremely touched and grateful that you are being so patient and kind, in many situations, people would just attack me.

I have been very fearful of being honest with people because I fear just getting a lecture about “youre going to hell if you dont believe!” And we all know, that doesnt help when your heart is genuinely trying to understand!

So thank you!
 
lostandconfused said:
I
And Jesus as the Messiah is very difficult for me. How is it that God became three, became incarnated, and killed himself when God is supposed to be ONE?
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God is one in substance. There have always been Three persons.

We believe in progressive revelation, the Trinity was only revealed to us when the incarnation of the Son as jesus happened.

However the Trinity existed before the incarnation, we just didnt know about it.

In the same token one could ask the question, why did god have different laws for hebrews before moses and different ones after?

Because revelation is progressive, and God has to reveal things in a linear format.
 
lostandconfused said:
Youre right, I need to pray a lot more. I think thats my biggest problem. I have gotten afraid to talk to God because I am unsure, I feel weird praying and being unsure, I dont want to be disrespectful. I know thats totally backwards.

If I am completely and totally honest with a priest, they will be okay with me doing that, right? I dont want to be disrespectful to a priest by saying anything negative, I know how they feel about it, I dont want to seem like some negative person.

Thank you for your replies, once again, they are kind, helpful, and exactly what I need. Thank you for not telling me I’m ridiculous for not believing in Jesus or something, I know how you feel, I know that you feel I should follow Jesus, and I want to if thats whats right in the end for me and what happens in my life, but I am extremely touched and grateful that you are being so patient and kind, in many situations, people would just attack me.

I have been very fearful of being honest with people because I fear just getting a lecture about “youre going to hell if you dont believe!” And we all know, that doesnt help when your heart is genuinely trying to understand!

So thank you!
Click to expand...
It’s never ridiculous to have doubts, it’s ridiculous to think however that God will love you less because of it. As for disrespectiing the unsuspecting Priest you plan to talk to, don 't be afraid (I highly doubt he will act in such a manner), I think you have more faith than you currently feel, why else would you be posting on the largest Catholic forum on the Great Wide Web. 😃 As I said before put it all in God’s hands and pray with fervor. Tell it straight from the heart, He will listen and answer all your questions (remember He already knows what you’re feeling might as well be honest with him about it). Ask him to take away the fear it usually helps me when I’m feeling anxious about something. And keep praying without fail.
 
Well, there’s no conflict between being Jewish and Italian – half my family have been doing it for centuries.

It does seem as if you’ve been trying to square too many circles in too much of a hurry. Falling out of love with one religion doesn’t mean that you have to, or even can, fall in love with another immediately or, indeed, ever – especially when both of them are so infused with traditions and ways of seeing and doing over and above their religious understandings of God and the world.

Without trying to sound patronizing, it sounds almost like a child who is doing a jigsaw puzzle by biting bits off the pieces to ‘make’ them fit - you find yourself with an intended husband is on his own course and you’re trying to ‘fit’ yourself to it but doing so by trying to transform your own doubts about Christianity into positives in his world.

Perhaps what you really need is time and to deal with each issue on its own merits?
 
lostandconfused said:
I have a weird dilemma.

I have become very confused and lost (thus the name!)

In the past year or so I have gotten extremely distanced from Christianity. I have a lot of problems with how things are viewed.

My boyfriend comes from an agnostic/atheist home and he however, has an interest in judaism. So we started researching it together. There is so much I agree with, but my biggest dilemma is the cultural aspect.

I have been going to a synagogue, and I just get the feeling sometimes that I’m such an outsider. I’m not a “real” Jew, and the whole culture is so overwhelming.

I get very lonely for my culture, I’m Italian, Roman Catholic raised.

My boyfriend and I may become engaged very soon, so I think of this now because when I marry, I want to marry on some moral grounds, I want God to be apart of it from the start. I want to know where I stand, but I feel extremely confused. I dont even really feel like I can pray any more.

I dont know how to talk to my boyfriend about this, because I know that he really feels no connection with the Catholic faith. I dont know how to express my concerns, and I dont really know how to even deal with this confusion right now.

I like Judaism because of its emphasis on life, and making the world a better place and bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth…Christianity’s emphasis on “you have to die to get to the good part” is very unnerving to me.

And Jesus as the Messiah is very difficult for me. How is it that God became three, became incarnated, and killed himself when God is supposed to be ONE?

I feel like running back to the Church but the thing is, I know when I get there, I’ll still be confused.

Thoughts?! (this is a really vague question I know!)
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I think you misunderstand Christianity when you say “you have to die to get the good part.” Some Christians think this way, but many of us don’t. We hope in the resurrection because we have already to some degree begun to feel the power of Christ in our lives now (and because there are historical reasons to believe that Jesus rose from the dead, but those wouldn’t be enough on their own).

To me the real question is whether you believe in the Incarnation. Do you believe in a God who remains utterly transcendent, or a God who has become one with His creation? (Or do you find some of the Jewish accounts of how God is one with creation–Kabbalah, for instance, in its authentic Jewish form and not some weird new-age version–more convincing?)

Edwin
 
lostandconfused said:
Youre right, I need to pray a lot more. I think thats my biggest problem. I have gotten afraid to talk to God because I am unsure, I feel weird praying and being unsure, I dont want to be disrespectful. I know thats totally backwards.

If I am completely and totally honest with a priest, they will be okay with me doing that, right? I dont want to be disrespectful to a priest by saying anything negative, I know how they feel about it, I dont want to seem like some negative person.

I have been very fearful of being honest with people because I fear just getting a lecture about “youre going to hell if you dont believe!” And we all know, that doesnt help when your heart is genuinely trying to understand!

So thank you!
Click to expand...
My bet would be that a Priest would speak to you much like those on this forum have.

And as for God? There are many many examples of people in the Bible and outside of it that yelled at God. Pick a Psalm. chances are it will be one that someone is yelling at God and their own unbelief.

I asked God to reveal Himself to me. I yelled at Him for all the **** in my life. He’s big enough… He can take it. LOL

in Christ
Steph
 
Kaninchen said:
Well, there’s no conflict between being Jewish and Italian – half my family have been doing it for centuries.

It does seem as if you’ve been trying to square too many circles in too much of a hurry. Falling out of love with one religion doesn’t mean that you have to, or even can, fall in love with another immediately or, indeed, ever – especially when both of them are so infused with traditions and ways of seeing and doing over and above their religious understandings of God and the world.

Without trying to sound patronizing, it sounds almost like a child who is doing a jigsaw puzzle by biting bits off the pieces to ‘make’ them fit - you find yourself with an intended husband is on his own course and you’re trying to ‘fit’ yourself to it but doing so by trying to transform your own doubts about Christianity into positives in his world.

Perhaps what you really need is time and to deal with each issue on its own merits?
Click to expand...
Worth thinking about.
 
lostandconfused said:
I think I will try to make an appointment with a priest soon. I have spoken with a Rabbi, and he was nice, but they’re traditionally not exactly welcoming to converts, so its kind of a weird feeling. I understand where they are coming from, but it makes an interested person like me feel a little alone in the whole process.

I think I just need to work through my problems and understand what it is thats going on. I need to really figure out if I do truly believe in Jesus Christ, maybe I have just gotten out of touch lately but its still within me as “the truth”. I might just be so turned around from searching that I lost the destination.

You have to understand, I love this man very much and I want to marry him, hes an incredible person, and I want him to come to know and understand God’s love. I know hes open to that, and with his interest in Judaism, it excites me that we’re one step closer, but I am not sure if I am truly meant for Judaism or not, or if I am meant to stick with what I was born into. He’s a blank canvas, I am imprinted forever.

Thank you so so so much for your replies so far. Theyre extremely helpful.

kennewickmike…is that by any chance a reference to kennewick man? That would be awesome if it was. woo archaeology.
Click to expand...
yes, i believe that if you come to the faith, your husband will to. it happened to me.

i believe that God is calling you back to the Church.

here is something for you to read in the meanwhile. this gave me faith.

zuserver2.star.ucl.ac.uk/~vgg/rc/aplgtc/hahn/m3/4mrkc.html

pray the Rosary.
 
Kaninchen said:
Well, there’s no conflict between being Jewish and Italian – half my family have been doing it for centuries.

It does seem as if you’ve been trying to square too many circles in too much of a hurry. Falling out of love with one religion doesn’t mean that you have to, or even can, fall in love with another immediately or, indeed, ever – especially when both of them are so infused with traditions and ways of seeing and doing over and above their religious understandings of God and the world.

Without trying to sound patronizing, it sounds almost like a child who is doing a jigsaw puzzle by biting bits off the pieces to ‘make’ them fit - you find yourself with an intended husband is on his own course and you’re trying to ‘fit’ yourself to it but doing so by trying to transform your own doubts about Christianity into positives in his world.

Perhaps what you really need is time and to deal with each issue on its own merits?
Click to expand...
I am a muslim. And i would say that this is one of the best posts on this thread. Kanin is trying to tell you that you should separate your love life from your faith quest . And their cant be a more truthful advise. Don’t convert left or right for a man . Seek God independantly. If both of you will end up in faith . There are some ladies who also fall in love with a muslim and convert but they havent gone through to the faith themselves . Then they have a crisis later on.

Contarini is a very well educated Christian whose advise i recomend also when it comes to Christianity.

dont let emotions cloud your judgement. I wish you the best in life.

meedo
 
meedo said:
I am a muslim. And i would say that this is one of the best posts on this thread. Kanin is trying to tell you that you should separate your love life from your faith quest . And their cant be a more truthful advise. Don’t convert left or right for a man . Seek God independantly. If both of you will end up in faith . There are some ladies who also fall in love with a muslim and convert but they havent gone through to the faith themselves . Then they have a crisis later on.

Contarini is a very well educated Christian whose advise i recomend also when it comes to Christianity.

dont let emotions cloud your judgement. I wish you the best in life.

meedo
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Contarini may very well be a well educated Christian, but there are many others here who are extremely learned in the Catholic faith. After all, it is a Catholic forum, no?
 
OneTrueCathApos said:
Contarini may very well be a well educated Christian, but there are many others here who are extremely learned in the Catholic faith. After all, it is a Catholic forum, no?
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I didnt mean to belittle any one here in no shape or form. From my discussions with him before , he seemed able to give good advise and have good discussions.

I do not by any way say that the rest here are not learned or not knowledgable.

Forgive me if i miswritten my words, my english isnt that good.
 
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