Judging versus Fraternal Correction

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I find that sometimes when one attempt to correct or speak of an evil, one is accused of being uncharitable or of trashing your brother. Trads seem to be often accused of being judgmental.

I have both been accused of such and I have accused others of such as well.

What is the difference between brotherly correction and being judgmental?

There are verses in the bible that seem to speak against judging:
Matthew 7:1-5
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
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I also found a passage from St. Teresa’s Spiritual Testimonies that seems to frown down on judging (sorry, I typed it from a book - couldn’t find anything to link to).
If in some persons I see things that clearly seem to be sins, I cannot come to the conclusion that they have offended God. And if I stop somewhat to consider them, which happens hardly or not at all, I never reach that conclusion, although I may have seen the sins clearly.
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There are tons of verses on not judging.

Yet at other times, it seems that we must correct our brother and how shall we correct without seeing a fault, in other words – judging.

The Catholic Encyclopedia says:
Fraternal correction is here taken to mean the admonishing of one’s neighbor by a private individual with the purpose of reforming him or, if possible, preventing his sinful indulgence. This is clearly distinguishable from an official disciplining, whose mouthpiece is a judge or other like superior, whose object is the punishment of one found to be guilty, and whose motive is not so directly the individual advantage of the offender as the furtherance of the common good. That there is, upon occasion and with due regard to circumstances, an obligation to administer fraternal correction there can be no doubt. This is a conclusion not only deducible from the natural law binding us to love and to assist one another, but also explicitly contained in positive precept such as the inculcation of Christ
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What is the difference in judging and fraternal correction as mentioned in this verse?
Galatians 6:1-6
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. .
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How do we correct without a Pharisaical attitude like that below?
James 1:26
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
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These verses say to me that we should correct our brothers if he is in error but we should do it charitably.

So although we have to be oh so careful not to judge, we should care about each other enough that we do offer fraternal correction. And I don’t believe one has to be a saint to do so.

How do we explain to someone that we believe they are in error without being uncharitable or without appearing holier than thou?

How do we reconcile “judge not” with correction? Should we all walk with our eyes focused on heaven and ignore the things that are happening around us?

I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this.
 
TrueLight said:
What is the difference in judging and fraternal correction as mentioned in this verse?
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One big difference is that fraternal correction is not generally done by complaining anonymously about something on the internet. 🙂
 
I don’t know the answers to all these questions. But one thing I can offer from my own life is that God places us in times and places, and gives us authority over certain people and places us subordinate to others. He gives us children and parents, aquaintances and friends and coworksers. And sometimes he puts people in our lives for a short time and other’s for a long time.

The centurion said in reply, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a person subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith. (Matthew 8:8-10)

It is important for us to understand who God has placed in our life and who he has not, our sphere of influence if you can call it that. Certainly parents understand this. I think that when we are willing to risk loosing these relationships, that we are close.

-Tim-
 
TimothyH said:
I don’t know the answers to all these questions. But one thing I can offer from my own life is that God places us in times and places, and gives us authority over certain people and places us subordinate to others. He gives us children and parents, aquaintances and friends and coworksers. And sometimes he puts people in our lives for a short time and other’s for a long time.

The centurion said in reply, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a person subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith. (Matthew 8:8-10)

It is important for us to understand who God has placed in our life and who he has not, our sphere of influence if you can call it that. Certainly parents understand this. I think that when we are willing to risk loosing these relationships, that we are close.

-Tim-
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Tim, are you saying that one should only judge or correct those who are subject to us? As parents, we understand that we are to guide our kids.

How about our brothers and sisters in Christ? If I saw my blood sister about to do something that can be harmful to her, of course I would tell her. She may choose not to listen.

How about our Christian brothers and sisters?
 
MarkThompson said:
One big difference is that fraternal correction is not generally done by complaining anonymously about something on the internet. 🙂
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Everyone’s path is different.

I daresay I have learned a lot more on CAF than I am learning by attending a parish on Sundays. Sometimes someone complaining opens another person’s eyes to error. So in a way, that is fraternal correction over the internet.

I wouldn’t underestimate the amount of influence a site such as this can have on lives. And I don’t see that as wrong.
 
Fraternal correction is, I think, one of the highest forms of charity in and of itself.
 
Matthew 18:15-18 Give advice on fraternal correction. "But if thy brother shall offend against thee, go, and rebuke him between between thee and him alone. If he shall hear thee, thou shallt gain thy brother.

And if he will not hear thee, take with thee one or two more: that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may stand.

And if he will not hear them: tell the church. And if he will not hear the church, let him be to thee as the heathen and the publican."

I don’t think the Church would become involved in this day and age. Maybe we should substitute “authorities” there. I do believe that people today are too quick to go to authorities with a problem they are unwilling to discuss face to face with someone.
 
I think to correct without judgment is probably best done when you see someone headed in the wrong direction but not quite enveloped in the sin and gentle advice is given that there might be a more preferable path. Or especially if someone comes to you for advice (that seems to happen to me a lot), you can be very mindful of how you advise them. Also, how you are viewing and thinking about the action can be illustrative of whether your judging or correcting.
Being judgmental is probably one of my more confessed sins. I think it’s natural for people to judge others. The best advice my priest has given me is to pay attention to what you are allowing to pass through your mind. Be aware of feeling judgmental and stop it when you recognize it. But if it does get away from you, and it will sometimes, tell God you’re sorry, confess and try to do better next time.**
 
I think that when we judge we feel superior to that person and make assumptions about the state of their soul. This is quite different from being aware of sin, without false sentimentality of pretending that everything is ok and that the persion in question is just fine. So when we see sin for what it is we should try and help the sinner. Of course, people are free to not listen and continue in their ways, and their choice is not our responsibility.

I think I can give an example of when I was corrected about a sin. My good friend told me that she understood my attitude about a particular sin but that she also believed I knew deep inside what I was doing and that I was aware it was wrong to do so. She left it up to me to continue the conversation and did not push it. She was direct and did not cushion what she was trying to say, but still did not make me feel like filth. And that made me think, I knew she was right. It took me a while to act upon it but in the end I did and to this day I am grateful to my friend.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
I think that when we judge we feel superior to that person and make assumptions about the state of their soul. This is quite different from being aware of sin, without false sentimentality of pretending that everything is ok and that the persion in question is just fine. So when we see sin for what it is we should try and help the sinner. Of course, people are free to not listen and continue in their ways, and their choice is not our responsibility.

I think I can give an example of when I was corrected about a sin. My good friend told me that she understood my attitude about a particular sin but that she also believed I knew deep inside what I was doing and that I was aware it was wrong to do so. She left it up to me to continue the conversation and did not push it. She was direct and did not cushion what she was trying to say, but still did not make me feel like filth. And that made me think, I knew she was right. It took me a while to act upon it but in the end I did and to this day I am grateful to my friend.
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That’s a good example.

Now let me give another. One of the more obvious sins involves sexual sins. Those are easier to spot and as a consequence folks tend to be more judgmental.

What if you knew a friend was living with her boyfriend (and not as brother and sister) and continued to receive communion. And let’s assume the friend knew it was against Church teaching, but chose to continue anyway.

Would it be wrong to tell her that she is not in a state of grace and that she was receiving unworthily?
 
TrueLight said:
What if you knew a friend was living with her boyfriend (and not as brother and sister) and continued to receive communion. And let’s assume the friend knew it was against Church teaching, but chose to continue anyway.

Would it be wrong to tell her that she is not in a state of grace and that she was receiving unworthily?
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I think in a case like this, where we know for sure that the person in question is in mortal sin, it is necessary to say something. In your scenario the friend knows she goes against the church teaching but chooses to do that anyway. Perhaps saying what she already knows will not change her mind and her actions, but dissaproval can generate some kind of a response. People do react to that, even if it is not immediately obvious.

I suspect discussing other people’s sins with a priest is not the way to go. On the other hand, the priest could refuse to give communion to someone who is unrepentant and in the state of mortal sin, which would prevent further damage to that person. Maybe this is something to ask a priest by presenting a hypothetical scenario, in order to see what can be done and where the boundaries are.
 
TrueLight,
I too struggle with this. It has become much more of a problem for me recently as I find myself leaning more to the “traditional side” than most of my friends & family.

I have come to realize that sometimes my need for “correcting” someone else has to do more with “where I am at” than what the other person is doing. I have also found that simple questions to the person in question, such as *“I’m curious, why you did this?”, *get me a lot farther than saying *“You’re wrong!” *This opens the door to a dialogue and then, if someone is, in fact, ignorant to the facts, I can offer them. What they do with the information is ultimately up to them, I have done my part, now the rest is up to God.

Just my :twocents:
 
It would be useful to consider St John Chrysostom’s 23d homily on the Gospel of Matthew. I recommend reading the entire homily, but pay particular attention to this (for Matt 7:1):

But if to many of the less attentive, it seem yet rather obscure, I will endeavor to explain it from the beginning. In this place, then, as it seems at least to me, He does not simply command us not to judge any of men’s sins, neither does He simply forbid the doing of such a thing, but to them that are full of innumerable ills, and are trampling upon other men for trifles. And I think that certain Jews too are here hinted at, for that while they were bitter accusing their neighbors for small faults, and such as came to nothing, they were themselves insensibly committing deadly sins. Herewith towards the end also He was upbraiding them, when He said, You bind heavy burdens, and grievous to be borne, but you will not move them with your finger, and, ye pay tithe of mint and anise, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith.

Well then, I think that these are comprehended in His invective; that He is checking them beforehand as to those things, wherein they were hereafter to accuse His disciples. For although His disciples had been guilty of no such sin, yet in them were supposed to be offenses; as, for instance, not keeping the sabbath, eating with unwashen hands, sitting at meat with publicans; of which He says also in another place, You which strain at the gnat, and swallow the camel. But yet it is also a general law that He is laying down on these matters.

And the Corinthians too Paul did not absolutely command not to judge, but not to judge their own superiors, and upon grounds that are not acknowledged; not absolutely to refrain from correcting them that sin. Neither indeed was He then rebuking all without distinction, but disciples doing so to their teachers were the object of His reproof; and they who, being guilty of innumerable sins, bring an evil report upon the guiltless.

St Augustine, in writing about the Sermon on the Mount (Book II, ch 18-19), talks about rash judgment and avoidance of hypocrisy.

The point is that its not that we can’t make judgments about what is right or wrong, nor that we can’t make corrections, but that we should not be rash in pronouncing judgment on other people and we should recognize that we’ll be judged for the same things.

For example, if we are dealing with an person with homosexual tendencies, who actively acts on those tendencies and feels no remorse for those tendencies:
  • We shouldn’t be rash in our judgment; we should recognize that there may be factors involved that may mitigate the person’s responsibility;
  • If we declare that “God is going to throw you in the lake of fire if you don’t repent”, we’d better recognize that God is going to do the same to us if we have sexual sins that we haven’t repented of;
BUT WHAT IT DOES NOT MEAN is:
  • that we should not declare homosexual acts to be sins against both God and nature
The libertines would have us believe the latter. Pharisaical fundamentalists (of whatever denomination) would have us point out that anything they don’t approve of will instantly condemn a person, irrevocably, to the nether regions. The teachings of Christ and of His apostles teach us something else altogether.
 
What is the difference between brotherly correction and being judgmental?
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**Brotherly correction is a criticism based on facts spoken in charity. The only One who IMHO can judge is God Himself (speaking in spiritual terms).

I can criticize anyone based on what I know and see - however judging is left to God alone.**
 
Bookcat said:
Here:

This will be of interest:

blog.adw.org/2010/06/correcting-the-sinner-is-not-being-judgmental-it-is-an-essential-work-of-charity/

blog.adw.org/2009/11/fraternal-correction-the-forgotten-virtue/
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Thank you Bookcat. I would love to hear people’s opinions on this Biblical passage from the first link:
  1. It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment in the name of the Lord Jesus on the man who has done such a thing. When you are assembled, and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened….I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with immoral men; 10not at all meaning the immoral of this world, or the greedy and robbers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But rather I wrote to you not to associate with any one who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Drive out the wicked person from among you. (1 Cor 5:1-13)
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