Judging?

[jumpinjacq]

How do you live your life trying to stay true to the teachings of the Catholic Church without being accused of ‘judging’ others (particularly family and friends) who don’t?

Non-Practicing/Non-Catholic friends and family ‘jokingly’ call me a saint, and a good friend told me yesterday that she feels judged by me because we don’t parent the same. These things make me so sad, and I am heavy hearted about it.

Thank you for any thoughts or advice you may have.

 

[robwar]

they probably feel convicted by your life and to defend themselves they accuse you of judging which is a bogus argument. I am not sure why a “friend” is being bothered by how you parent as compared to her. Without knowing what the differences are or relationship is between the two of you, how you parent is none of her business and visa versa. I would avoid conversations on what you are doing as a parent or find a new friend. It’'s common for younger newer moms to blab to each other about what they are doing or not doing with their kids. It would be better to avoid those types of conversations because all it does is open you up to either others criticizing what you are doing or even go around to others and gossip about you.

 

[1ke]

How do you live your life trying to stay true to the teachings of the Catholic Church without being accused of ‘judging’ others (particularly family and friends) who don’t?

You don’t. You will likely be accused of just that when you, in charity, give fraternal correction to others. The bible does not say we cannot judge actions. “Judge not lest ye be judged” is the most misunderstood and misused verses.

Non-Practicing/Non-Catholic friends and family ‘jokingly’ call me a saint,

Say “thank you” and tell them we are all called to be saints.

and a good friend told me yesterday that she feels judged by me because we don’t parent the same.

Sounds like she is the one with the problem.

These things make me so sad, and I am heavy hearted about it.

Thank you for any thoughts or advice you may have.

Ask her why she thinks different parenting choices equates to “judging”.

 

[jumpinjacq]

Thank you, so much, those who responded to my post. I am truly grateful.

 

[Slaney]

Courts of law judge people everyday, Parents judge their children, people cast judgement on other people everyday, what we can’t do and is only up to God is judge souls ! I remember a priest from Belfast 30 years ago saying, that we can’t even be sure of Hitler’s judgement, crazy or what…

 

[robwar]

Courts of law judge people everyday, Parents judge their children, people cast judgement on other people everyday, what we can’t do and is only up to God is judge souls ! I remember a priest from Belfast 30 years ago saying, that we can’t even be sure of Hitler’s judgement, crazy or what…

judge not lest you be judged is probably the most misunderstand Bible verse and idea. Where that is said in the Bible is followed a few verses later about knowing someone’s character by their fruit and “ye shall know them by their fruit”. Well, that’s a “judgement”.
But people misuse judging to parallize others and to get out of consequences of their own bad behaviors. Yes, we don’t know the final of someone or what is deep in their heart but seriously Hitler, he killed himself which is self murder on top of all his other evil crimes.

 

[coachdennis]

How do you live your life trying to stay true to the teachings of the Catholic Church without being accused of ‘judging’ others (particularly family and friends) who don’t?

Non-Practicing/Non-Catholic friends and family ‘jokingly’ call me a saint, and a good friend told me yesterday that she feels judged by me because we don’t parent the same. These things make me so sad, and I am heavy hearted about it.

Thank you for any thoughts or advice you may have.

One of the things that happens as we get older in a healthy adult is that we become more self-confident in our convictions and become less influenced by what others think of us. It is a realization that we cannot control what others think of us, either positively or negatively. What we CAN do is try to minimize those times when someone can hurdle the cry “hypocrite!” at us, by trying to live authentically to our Catholic beliefs.

It is also important to realize that many people use the accusation of judging others as a defense mechanism, because somewhere down inside, even if they will never admit, know that their choices are at best suspect or just plain wrong. Also, I believe that many people are “suffering” with the choices they made in their lives and are “jealous” see a person who, in their eyes, seems to “have it together” or “a life built on a foundation of rock rather than sand.”. They can’t stand that, so the need to lash out it strong.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

These days everything goes as long as you are a relativist and have no strong beliefs. But if you happen to practice a faith that has high standards and requires a lot from people, and proclaims objective truth and morality, then you are immediately perceived as judgemental towards others. I’d say that people who accuse you so are probably insecure. The same goes for the friend who feels judged for her parenting style. That wouldn’t even cross her mind unless she was unsure about her parenting skills.

Shrug it off, be kind to them, don’t let it get to you. Simple

 

[Slaney]

judge not lest you be judged is probably the most misunderstand Bible verse and idea. Where that is said in the Bible is followed a few verses later about knowing someone’s character by their fruit and “ye shall know them by their fruit”. Well, that’s a “judgement”.
But people misuse judging to parallize others and to get out of consequences of their own bad behaviors. Yes, we don’t know the final of someone or what is deep in their heart but seriously Hitler, he killed himself which is self murder on top of all his other evil crimes.

Many feel that their sins are unforgivable but, Jesus said, “Were a soul like a decaying corpse, so that from a human standpoint, there would be no hope of restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores that soul in full. In the Tribunal of Mercy (the great sacrament of Confession) …the greatest miracles take place and are incessantly repeated." (1448) "Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy.” (1602) Every sin imaginable sin could be forgiven by Him! Saint Faustina’s Diary !

 

[Slaney]

judge not lest you be judged is probably the most misunderstand Bible verse and idea. Where that is said in the Bible is followed a few verses later about knowing someone’s character by their fruit and “ye shall know them by their fruit”. Well, that’s a “judgement”.
But people misuse judging to parallize others and to get out of consequences of their own bad behaviors. Yes, we don’t know the final of someone or what is deep in their heart but seriously Hitler, he killed himself which is self murder on top of all his other evil crimes.

Yes hard to swallow, but Jesus said in the Diary of Saint Faustina that they would disappear in the Great Ocean of His Mercy, plus the Diary doesn’t contradict the Bible, Jesus also said that even if your sins were as numerous as the sands of the earth, that they would all disappear in His Mercy !

Oh and don’t shoot me, i’m the messenger, only quoting what the young priest said, even though I didn’t believe what he said, then years later read the Diary…