Just a convert

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marthagreys

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My family joined the Catholic church over 6rs ago. Coming from a strong Southern Baptist background (my dad was a pastor and my family disowned me when we converted), I spent nearly 2yrs studying the Catholic faith indepth. I faithfully watched EWTN, bought every imaginable book, and talked with dozens of Catholic for 100’s of hours before I finally made the decision to join the Church. What I want to know, is when to converts cease to be “just a convert” and become full-blooded Catholics in the eyes of other members? It hurts so bad to go to church and be looked down on because I wasn’t born Cathoic. I don’t know if this is Church-wide or if it’s just my parish, but many converts have left this parish because of the unwelcome, and at times, cruel attitude toward converts. One Bible study had to be cancelled because it was boycotted by cradle-Catholics who wouldn’t participate in a study led by someone who was “just a convert” (not me). The ongoing logic is that converts can’t possibly know enough to lead anything in the parish, and don’t have the “right” to do so anyway, because they are after all, “just a convert” and are therefore inferior to someone who spent their whole life in the Catholic church. I just wish this would end.
 
I have been a member of more parishes than I can count (well, I could count them if I stopped to think about it, I suppose . . . ) all over the US since swimming the Tiber in the early '70s, and have to honestly state that I have NEVER run across what you are describing. Through the years, I have taught religious education, served on parish councils and other boards, been honored to be a reader and an EMHC, and have openly considered my conversion part of my faith journey.

Mostly, the line I hear from others is that “converts make the best Catholics.” (To which I would always respond, “well, at least, that’s the story we tell our in-laws.” 😉 )

So, I would say it is the parish to which you belong, or perhaps the town in which you live. I’m sure you are not alone – but I hope your situation is few and far between. My prayers are with you and your family – and your parish.
 
marthagreys said:
My family joined the Catholic church over 6rs ago. Coming from a strong Southern Baptist background (my dad was a pastor and my family disowned me when we converted), I spent nearly 2yrs studying the Catholic faith indepth. I faithfully watched EWTN, bought every imaginable book, and talked with dozens of Catholic for 100’s of hours before I finally made the decision to join the Church. What I want to know, is when to converts cease to be “just a convert” and become full-blooded Catholics in the eyes of other members? It hurts so bad to go to church and be looked down on because I wasn’t born Cathoic. I don’t know if this is Church-wide or if it’s just my parish, but many converts have left this parish because of the unwelcome, and at times, cruel attitude toward converts. One Bible study had to be cancelled because it was boycotted by cradle-Catholics who wouldn’t participate in a study led by someone who was “just a convert” (not me). The ongoing logic is that converts can’t possibly know enough to lead anything in the parish, and don’t have the “right” to do so anyway, because they are after all, “just a convert” and are therefore inferior to someone who spent their whole life in the Catholic church. I just wish this would end.
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Fools are not contained to a single church or faith, they abound. The day you became Catholic you were a full blooded Catholic.

This seems to be something that needs to be addressed with your priest. He should be the one responsible for containing and ridding your parish of this disgusting snobbery. If he will not listen, go past him and on up. Your parish priest needs to properly catechize his flock both cradle-Catholics and converts.
 
Wow I have never heard of the cradle/convert division before. If anything, I think most Catholics hold you guys in a really high esteem because of the hurdles you have crossed. The best apolotists are converts… Scott Hahn, Marcus Groid, Mark Shea, Jimmy Akin… oh, there are dozens really. I just cannot say enough about what converts do for the Church. If somebody at your Church has a chip on their shoulder about something, they should not be able to discriminate. My gosh. Have you talked to the priest about this? Do you guys have an RCIA program? Maybe you can talk to the director before any more converts get mistreated.
 
You’re just as much a member of the Church as the Pope himself!

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
 
Our priest is part of the problem. Many people have gone to him in tears over this issue, and his typical response is that when you start at the bottom you have to work your way up, and if converts are faithful and prove themselves, they’ll ultimately earn their place in the parish, and in the eyes of those born into the Church. I’m just so tired of being on the outside looking in. I want so much to belong. It gets hard to take.
 
marthagreys said:
Our priest is part of the problem. Many people have gone to him in tears over this issue, and his typical response is that when you start at the bottom you have to work your way up, and if converts are faithful and prove themselves, they’ll ultimately earn their place in the parish, and in the eyes of those born into the Church. I’m just so tired of being on the outside looking in. I want so much to belong. It gets hard to take.
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He’s wrong; where the parishioners are concerned, there’s no senority list. You are equal to the oldest cradle Catholic in world!
 
marthagreys said:
Our priest is part of the problem. Many people have gone to him in tears over this issue, and his typical response is that when you start at the bottom you have to work your way up, and if converts are faithful and prove themselves, they’ll ultimately earn their place in the parish, and in the eyes of those born into the Church. I’m just so tired of being on the outside looking in. I want so much to belong. It gets hard to take.
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Write a letter to him, get a written response, pass it onto your Bishop. You “earned” your place in the parish the day you become a member. This priest is failing his folk.
 
I’ve been a convert for nearly 20 years. I have never heard of such a thing occurring in a parish.

Believe me, you did not “start at the bottom”. On the day you came into the church, you were just as much a Catholic as any other member whether lay or clergy. Sounds like you can’t talk to your pastor either–and unfortunately I have seen a few cases of that problem in the past 20 years. Is another parish out of the question? If so, you may have to be brave and have a real “Come to Jesus” session with your parish priest, (former Southern Baptist too). Whatever you do, don’t let it discourage you. In bravely perservering, you are a witness to all the other converts, and cradle catholics too.
 
Perhaps,as others have done, you will need to leave this parish. That is sad
but if the attitude is also coming from the priest you may be too limited and too
frustrated to feel fully part of the parish. Can you visit some other parishes?
Can you perhaps talk with some other converts you know who have gone to
new parishes and see what their experience has been? God bless.
 
I’ve never heard of this type of problem. How do other parishioners know you’re a convert? Do you volunteer that when you meet someone? I can’t imagine why this would be an issue unless the parish is polarized in other ways as well (too conservative or too liberal). Otherwise, who cares if the person is a convert?
 
surritter said:
I’ve never heard of this type of problem. How do other parishioners know you’re a convert? Do you volunteer that when you meet someone? I can’t imagine why this would be an issue unless the parish is polarized in other ways as well (too conservative or too liberal). Otherwise, who cares if the person is a convert?
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I joined the Catholic Church at this parish, so it’s common knowledge that I’m a convert.
 
marthagreys said:
My family joined the Catholic church over 6rs ago. Coming from a strong Southern Baptist background (my dad was a pastor and my family disowned me when we converted), I spent nearly 2yrs studying the Catholic faith indepth. I faithfully watched EWTN, bought every imaginable book, and talked with dozens of Catholic for 100’s of hours before I finally made the decision to join the Church. What I want to know, is when to converts cease to be “just a convert” and become full-blooded Catholics in the eyes of other members? It hurts so bad to go to church and be looked down on because I wasn’t born Cathoic. I don’t know if this is Church-wide or if it’s just my parish, but many converts have left this parish because of the unwelcome, and at times, cruel attitude toward converts. One Bible study had to be cancelled because it was boycotted by cradle-Catholics who wouldn’t participate in a study led by someone who was “just a convert” (not me). The ongoing logic is that converts can’t possibly know enough to lead anything in the parish, and don’t have the “right” to do so anyway, because they are after all, “just a convert” and are therefore inferior to someone who spent their whole life in the Catholic church. I just wish this would end.
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You are no longer a convert but as much a Catholic as I am. You became a Catholic the instant you received communion. As a former convert, you do not have to prove yourself to anyone, and I assure you that you know more than the so-called Catholics in your parish, maybe even more than the priest. Please do not think all Catholics are like this. It’s just the narrow minded ones that are, and knowingly, or not, they are sinning, as is the priest for not taking steps to correct the situation.

I recommend you write a letter to the parish priest describing the situation and requesting he take steps to correct it, and send a copy to your diocesan ( local ) bishop. Follow it
up with a second letter if nothing is done. I am sure conditions will change. If not, all I can suggest then is for you to go to a different parish. I will pray for you. God Bless.

PAX DOMINI :signofcross:

Shalom Aleichem
 
I am one of the “cradle catholic” who truly appreciate converts. I have a lot of books
from Surprised by Truth (all three) to Journeys Home,and a few others. I love to read
them because it reminds of how we cc’s take our faith for granted and do little to
nurture and live it.
So welcome home and know that many of us are praying for you. You’ve been given
some good advice and I hope your priest comes around. He is wrong and if he doesn’t
realize it, do notify the bishop.
 
welcome to the Church! Its really nice to hear of stray lambs coming back home to where they belong!:D. What you are describing is bad. I mean, I’ve been to many parishes and not one treated anyone like an outsider. Most of the time, they are happy to see new members. If I were in the church, I’d welcome your family with open arms.
 
The great saint, bishop and doctor of the Church, Saint Augustine of Hippo was a convert. He turned out alright 😃
 
So sorry to hear of your experience. I converted in a very anti-catholic town a year ago and I have been very much welcomed at my parish. I pray that if you do not feel called to or have already found it is not possible to help change the culture at your current parish that you find a parish that welcomes you with open arms. You probably have so many gifts to share with the church because of your background and your dedication to Jesus.
-Liz
 
I can not speak for my parish or the Church, but it seems that we should honour that you chose to come to the Church, and reconize that. Yuu are, most likely, more knowledgeable and faithful than some members of the Church, most noteably the Chreasters
 
I am absolutely appalled at the way you have been treated at your parish. I’ve never heard of such a thing. I help out with RCIA in my parish, and I can tell you that we encourage all of them to become active in the parish. We love converts, they are so enthusiastic about the faith and are often more knowledgeable about the faith than cradle Catholics because they often have spent more time studying it before coming to a decision about converting.

I am not one to tell people to leave their parishes, but if you are being treated as a second class Catholic and can’t get the problem resolved, I’d recommend another parish. You are 100% as Catholic as anyone born into the faith, and never forget that. You don’t have to work your way up into anything and prove yourself to anyone. Most parishes would welcome you with open arms.
 
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