Just a little depressurizing

[Cricket2]

By now many of you know that I have spent years as a primary care giver to many family member, all of whom have been terminally ill. Currently I am the primary care giver for my sister, and soon I will provide assistance to my cousin who has a disabled daughter.

Anyway, I certainly feel that this is what God has called me to do, but I don’t always feel so wonderful doing this. As anyone who cares for loved ones may know, it is stressful and sometimes it can get depressing, annoying and all the other “bad” feeling can come into play.

Today has been a busy one and I am just feeling a little trapped by it all. Sometimes I just feel like my life is being used up for naught. I logically know this is not true, but the old emotions get in the way sometimes. When you are housebound because someone you love is housebound, you can feel pretty imprisoned with them. It is like sharing an aspect of their suffering when you would really would rather not.

Oh well, thanks for listening. Some days are just harder than others, and this is one of my blue days I guess. Peace.

 

[His_helpmeet]

Every caregiver needs a break. You may want to look into respite care options, either institutional or in the community, in order to give yourself a break periodically. Some hospitals and long-term care facilities offer respite care, and sometimes homecare or private caregivers can be helpful as well.

 

[hazcompat]

I will pray the Lord provide more moments of depressurization.

Your sanctification can be found in the duties of the present moment according to:

Abandonment to Divine Providence

Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

The order established by God and His divine will are the life of the soul no matter in what way they work, or are obeyed. Whatever connection the divine will has with the mind, it nourishes the soul, and continually enlarges it by giving it what is best for it at every moment. It is neither one thing nor another which produces these happy effects, but what God has willed for each moment. What was best for the moment that has passed is so no longer because it is no longer the will of God which, becoming apparent through other circumstances brings to light the duty of the present moment. It is this duty under whatever guise it presents itself which is precisely that which is the most sanctifying for the soul.
If, by the divine will, it is a present duty to read, then reading will produce the destined effect in the soul. If it is the divine will that reading be relinquished for contemplation, then this will perform the work of God in the soul and reading would become useless and prejudicial. Should the divine will withdraw the soul from contemplation for the hearing of confessions, etc., and that even for some considerable time, this duty becomes the means of uniting the soul with Jesus Christ and all the sweetness of contemplation would only serve to destroy this union.
Our moments are made fruitful by our fulfillment of the will of God. This is presented to us in countless different ways by the present duty which forms, increases, and consummates in us the new man until we attain the plenitude destined for us by the divine wisdom. This mysterious attainment of the age of Jesus Christ in our souls is the end ordained by God and the fruit of His grace and of His divine goodness.

May the Lord give you comfort and

Peace

 

[cheezey]

Every caregiver needs a break. You may want to look into respite care options, either institutional or in the community, in order to give yourself a break periodically. Some hospitals and long-term care facilities offer respite care, and sometimes homecare or private caregivers can be helpful as well.

^^^

God bless you for your work.
You also deserve a break.

:console:

 

[bcuster]

While my husband and I were taking care of his mother before her death, his brother-in-law made this comment to me: I notice how often you are praying throughout the day. I replied that many of my prayers were complaints. He responded that was an important part of prayer–to bring all of the good and bad before the Lord. I remembered that through all the trials of care-giving. It reminded me of a story about St. Teresa of Avila who in a difficult situation is reported to say to the Lord, “If this is the way You treat Your friends, no wonder you have so few.” Humor helps, too.

 

[ClearWater]

Cricket2, God bless you! Depressurize anytime you feel like it!

Your life is of enormous value! You’re amazing!

 

[tawny]

By now many of you know that I have spent years as a primary care giver to many family member, all of whom have been terminally ill. Currently I am the primary care giver for my sister, and soon I will provide assistance to my cousin who has a disabled daughter.

Anyway, I certainly feel that this is what God has called me to do, but I don’t always feel so wonderful doing this. As anyone who cares for loved ones may know, it is stressful and sometimes it can get depressing, annoying and all the other “bad” feeling can come into play.

Today has been a busy one and I am just feeling a little trapped by it all. Sometimes I just feel like my life is being used up for naught. I logically know this is not true, but the old emotions get in the way sometimes. When you are housebound because someone you love is housebound, you can feel pretty imprisoned with them. It is like sharing an aspect of their suffering when you would really would rather not.

Oh well, thanks for listening. Some days are just harder than others, and this is one of my blue days I guess. Peace.

God bless you on being a caregiver. I’m praying for you.

 

[Auntie_A]

I have been where you are at least four times in my family: with three elders and one child. At first I welcomed the change from 9 to 5 job and then, like any job, the day-to-day-ness became tedious at times, and there was little back-up. At one point there was a caregivers’ network who gave me money for a substitute caregiver and a vacation! That was a rare godsend.

The elderly relatives have died, the child ran back to her drug addict family and is sadly addicted and struggling with recovery. The reward, I see now, was in the helping, not in the outcomes…at least on an earthly level. God knows the true outcome.

The admonitions to “take care of yourself” seemed kind of hollow at the time. How do you take care of yourself when there is little back-up? “Pamper yourself”? when?

I worked later in a caregiving profession and it was wonderful to be able to leave my shift and realize that other staff would step in. Making my own home a place of rest, refuge, fun, hospitality, and creativity was challenging.

But I am alive seven years later to say that there is life after caregiving. There is life during caregiving, too, and what we need around us are people who understand the real challenges. Feel free to private message me here and do continue to check in with us on your thread.

 

[Pax2u]

You are a most loving person. Please contact your doctor and ask for some resources so you can get a bit of a break each week. What you are doing is very selfless, but God wants you to take care of yourself, too.

I’ll say a prayer for you!