Just a very small moral question

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Kathrin

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I have a friend who is a protestant.
He missed his church service today because we changed the clocks and something went wrong with his.
I went to mass.
I told him if he did want to go to a service today, he could go to a catholic one in the evening, I know of two.
He said he wasn0t going to a catholic church alone. He sometimes comes to mass with me.

Now I am having dinner with my family tonight.
I asked him if i should go with him. He knows I am scrupulous. He said not to feel obligated. It’s different with protestants. If it was thatimportant to him, we agreed, he would go by himself.

Is it ok for me to just have dinner with my family(parents and brother)?

Kathrin
 
There no reason that any non-Catholic shouldn’t attend Mass by himself.
Your doing a very good thing encouraging your friend. They shouldn’t
receive Holy Communion though until they come into the Church.
God Bless :signofcross:
 
We have talked about the communion issue and he understands my feelings about it.

I offered that if he dodn’t want to go alone because he was shy about it or something, then I’d go with him. But he said no, if he went tonight it would rather be todo something with me… So is it ok that I don’t feel obligated and let him mkae his own decision?

Or do I have to go just so that he goes, even if maybe not for the right reasons?
But I can’t take responsibility for everyone… and it is just kind of important for me too to be there for Sunday night dinner with family.
 
I don’t quite understand why you would feel obligated to go with him.
Is it cause he’s uncomfortable, or you need to be with him to convert him?
He is under no obligation to attend any sort of sunday service since he isn’t Catholic.
I don’t think not going with him one time would result in him rejecting the faith. So, I wouldn’t worry either way. You sound like a good friend to me. 👍
 
I think I was worried that somehow, even though he isn’t Catholic, it would be bad for hs soul if he didn’t go to SOME kind of service…
I think I was overthinking…
 
OK, so now he said he would go with me Wed and Thu night if I go to a mass; today on Wednesday I already went in the morning because that was a mass I wanted to go to, and I am thinking of going home a bit earlier today. I am not feeling totally well.
So I think that’s ok? He can go to a prayer group from his protestant church tonight,I think that’s good for him too, he is part of that community. Or should I try to make him go to mass as often as possible?

What comes into play too here is that I think he coems mostly because he wants to spend time with me. We have talked this over many times: I want friendship, he feels something more but accepts my decision, however he likes to spend a lot of time with me.

So that is another reason why I was thinking, maybe just tomorrow with him is ok. But then on the other hand, I am thinking, maybe it is more important that he goes to mass (and maybe becomes catholic, who knows? He is very strongly protestant right now though I’d say) than whatever is between us, and no matter the price, I have to try to make him go to mass… ah, complicated.

Kind of thinking it’s ok for me today to go home. But is it. I am struggling. If you have a word of wisdom please let me know.

Kathrin
 
Go home and take care of yourself. He sounds as if he’s trying to manipulate you. You do not have to make him go to Mass as often as possible, but because he wants to spend time with you, he will play along with that idea. If God calls him to the Catholic Church, he’ll want to go to Mass on his own, whether or not you go.

Just tell him, “I’ve already been to Mass today, but we could go tomorrow.” And to anticipate another problem, if something happens tomorrow that prevents you from going with him to Mass, you have not broken a solemn promise or committed a sin. I chose the word, “could,” very carefully so that it would not seem to you to be a promise. “Could” means “we might go, if everything falls into place.” Or even add a “maybe” to make it even safer for you. “Maybe we could go tomorrow.” No promise there - just a possiblity.

Betsy
 
I went home. 🙂

I have to defend my friend though. He is a very good friend and knows about my scrupulosity, and he told me himself to NOT think that way about going to mass with him. And he himself suggested that i go home but let’s go tomorrow, and he also understands about me not wanting to PRMOISE that.

So it’s not him manipulating me, it’s ME feeling obligated because of what I am thinking. I think I often feel responsible for other people when they don’t even want me to…:o

That being said, of course it IS difficult with a not-same-sex friendship when one person has more feelings than the other. Even though he is really good about it and has been wonderful about not taking advantage of my can’t-say-no personality (actually, in some things I CAN say no!!), he has admitted himself that it is sometimes difficult. And of course, yes, he wants to spend more time with me sometimes, and I guess going to church with me is one thing he knows I will let him do. 😉 On the other hand, he IS a very spiritual person, very interested in questions about Christianity, different faiths etc, so he also gets a lot out of the masses he goes to with me! 🙂

We both value the friendship (we can talk about a lot of things, help each other out that way).
 
Well since I am not feeling too good I am thinking I’d rather not go to church tonight. It is far, and also I don’t want to spread this cold I have… Ok I am probably also feeling run down because I got my period, but I also got a cold, and tomorrow I am working again. I just sent my friend an e-mail what he thinks… He is usually understanding. I don’t like to miss mass, and I am nto even sure if I will go /be able to go tomorrow and Saturday after work if it gets late 😦 But we’ll see. Sometimes I have to grant my body more rest too right?

Kathrin
 
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