Just an observation and no judgement

[Shae]

At mass today, there were two baptisms taking place and many people in attendance that are not regular parishioners.
I only want to mention that I observed two adults walking into mass with their takeway cappuccinos in foam cups and they refused to stand in any of the prayers. They sat and sipped the whole mass.
I prayed for them but I was in disbelief. I wished someone had privately told them not to sip coffee from foam cups in mass.

 

[Viki63]

That was certainly inappropriate of them, but they probably weren’t Catholic. Perhaps they were part of the families of the babies being baptized.
Praying for them is the best you could have done. Imagine if you hd never been to a mass in your life before, and the first time you went to one, someone rebuked you for your behavior. You might not ever go back.
Pray the Holy Spirit is working in their lives.

 

[robwar]

that is a shame. The family should have said something to their disrespectful family members. I also wonder if the ushers could have stepped in. Obviously, these people don’t go to Church and think whether they are Catholic or not, can do anything they want in Church.

 

[Seeker1961]

That was certainly inappropriate of them, but they probably weren’t Catholic. Perhaps they were part of the families of the babies being baptized.
Praying for them is the best you could have done. Imagine if you hd never been to a mass in your life before, and the first time you went to one, someone rebuked you for your behavior. You might not ever go back.
Pray the Holy Spirit is working in their lives.

There are protestant/non-denominational churches where that is perfectly normal. There are a couple of non-denominational places in my area that have coffee shops that serve specialty coffees and baked goods before and after services with all the profits going to feed the hungry in the area.

So, if that’s what they do at their church, why wouldn’t they think that was ok?

The most that should have happened is an usher might have quietly asked them to please dispose of their drinks before entering the sanctuary, just to alert them that things are different in a Catholic church.

Other than that, praying that they find something in the Baptism service that brings them back to the Catholic church again would probably be the best thing to do. Looking down our noses at their behavior or saying something to them with a disapproving tone certainly wouldn’t work very well.

 

[Phemie]

We run into that at weddings and, sadly, mostly from Catholics. I’ve walked in after some weddings and the place looked like there’d been a party: pews askew, empty bottles and coffee cups, stuff on the floor, etc. Not to mention the empty beer bottles in the parking lot.

 

[cmscms]

That is shocking. And of course my first though is they should have been asked to get rid of the coffee cups or leave. However, society in general has changed. When I was a kid, you never brought food or drinks into a store. Now a lot of groceries and book stores offer coffee while you shop as a marketing strategy to get you in the door.

To be honest, I have to wonder who is really at fault, the non-Catholic who is invited to a baptism, or the Catholics that don’t speak up. I do believe there is a way to politely speak up without being judgemental. However, if us people who consider ourselves devout don’t say a thing, how can we expect guests to behave?

CM

 

[Bill_7154]

that is a shame. The family should have said something to their disrespectful family members. I also wonder if the ushers could have stepped in. Obviously, these people don’t go to Church and think whether they are Catholic or not, can do anything they want in Church.

This is a great answer. They could have been athiests and had difficulty even entering the Church based on whatever their beliefs are. Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes…

 

[mommamaree]

Please don’t be too offended by their behavior. In the year prior to our conversion, my husband and I visited a Baptist church for a while. The atmosphere was totally different there, but it was normal for the Baptist members. Nursery was required to be used for the children, and we were given a pager after signing our children in. There was a coffee shop in the “lobby”, just outside of the “sanctuary” (Baptists use those words in ways Catholics do not about their church buildings). As we walked in to the “sanctuary”, it was built like a music hall or theater, with ramps and stadium seating. Every chair was cushioned and reclinable and had cup holders. It was darkened, with only stage lighting illuminating the room.
Going to a worship service felt more like going to an amateur Christian rock concert combined with a college lecture experience, complete with outlines and note-taking. It was quite bizarre actually. It didn’t take long for us to decide we needed the reverence and the mystery and the beauty of the Catholic mass. We were hooked on Catholicism after two masses. But for people who are used to this environment, bringing Starbucks to church is not only acceptable, but even expected. It is sad, yes, but it is not their fault.

 

[ringil]

Oh my, bringing beverages into Church. . . .

Even when I go into an empty church to pray if I have a cup with a straw (something that can’t be closed like a bottle) I leave it in the vestibule.

It’s quite tacky to bring a drink into a church. It is ridiculous behavior. I have never seen it personally. IMO

Then again, men and boys now don’t take their hats off indoors- when did this go away?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

At mass today, there were two baptisms taking place and many people in attendance that are not regular parishioners.
I only want to mention that I observed two adults walking into mass with their takeway cappuccinos in foam cups and they refused to stand in any of the prayers. They sat and sipped the whole mass.
I prayed for them but I was in disbelief. I wished someone had privately told them not to sip coffee from foam cups in mass.

I saw this in the front row on Christmas Eve 2 years ago. It is up to the parish to have signs up, to ask the ushers to stop people coming in with beverages, etc. The parish this occurred in is known as a “come as you are” parish. The other one we attend has signs and the ushers would never allow someone to sashay in with drinks.

Obviously those people are “unchurched” as the Protestants call them. They came as spectators and figured they could do as they pleased. Very rude, but probably atheists who did it as a favor to someone else. Anyone of any faith whatsoever would try to respect the service and participate to the extent possible.

:nope:

 

[EasterJoy]

Keep in mind that some family members attend baptisms against their will in order to appease other family members. The coffee may have been brought out of ignorance, but it might also have been brought out of passive aggression against family and, by extension, the Church. This may have been the only way this family member was ever going to “darken the door of a Catholic church”: that is, by making it unequivocally clear by their conduct that they were outsiders.

In either case, the right thing to do was to be welcoming and overlook the offending behavior. Either they meant to offend, in which case it is evangelism to turn the other cheek, or else they did not mean to offend, in which case it is compassionate to overlook the error. An usher might tell them that food and beverages aren’t allowed in church, but everyone else can just smile and overlook it.

 

[Pug]

There are “non-denominational” congregations out there where this is more than standard behavior; it is how their Sunday services are promoted, as a time to sit back and sip your coffee. I’ve received various mailings over the years from these places, presenting themselves and coffee in the same breath and inviting me to join them.

I would allow it to be quite possible that they were doing what they thought was correct for a Sunday service. Perhaps if it becomes a problem in your area on account of what local groups are doing, maybe posting informational signs on the doors would help.

 

[robwar]

Keep in mind that some family members attend baptisms against their will in order to appease other family members. The coffee may have been brought out of ignorance, but it might also have been brought out of passive aggression against family and, by extension, the Church. This may have been the only way this family member was ever going to “darken the door of a Catholic church”: that is, by making it unequivocally clear by their conduct that they were outsiders.

In either case, the right thing to do was to be welcoming and overlook the offending behavior. Either they meant to offend, in which case it is evangelism to turn the other cheek, or else they did not mean to offend, in which case it is compassionate to overlook the error. An usher might tell them that food and beverages aren’t allowed in church, but everyone else can just smile and overlook it.

that is a good response and insight

 

[sirach2v4]

Keep in mind that some family members attend baptisms against their will in order to appease other family members. The coffee may have been brought out of ignorance, but it might also have been brought out of passive aggression against family and, by extension, the Church. This may have been the only way this family member was ever going to “darken the door of a Catholic church”: that is, by making it unequivocally clear by their conduct that they were outsiders.

In either case, the right thing to do was to be welcoming and overlook the offending behavior. Either they meant to offend, in which case it is evangelism to turn the other cheek, or else they did not mean to offend, in which case it is compassionate to overlook the error. An usher might tell them that food and beverages aren’t allowed in church, but everyone else can just smile and overlook it.

There wa a controversy in my former parish because 1) the choir didn’t want to sing from the loft, they felt too far removed; 2) the choir was moved to the sanctuary, between the tabernacle and the altar, and 3) the choir members had water bottles which they used between songs, apparently to whet their whistles.

People didn’t like it.

I don’t like it.

I used to take a blind man to Wednesday evening meetings at his Baptist church. Then, and on sundays, he used to have a radio earphone plugged into his ear all the time. I challenged him and he said it was so that he could tell what time it was. I think he was listening to a lot of boring radio stuff in the meantime. There was no attempt to change his behavior, by the strict church itself.

 

[Tingo]

So let me get this straight: you believe that the creator of the universe and the saviour of all humanity is becoming physically present before you, and you are able to be distracted by people drinking coffee? How?

 

[Pug]

So let me get this straight: you believe that the creator of the universe and the saviour of all humanity is becoming physically present before you, and you are able to be distracted by people drinking coffee? How?

Our ability to be distracted in almost any situation is not such a bad thing. This way we can notice the needs of a small child even if the battle to end all battles for the end of the world rages about us. Also, distraction gives a Christian something to struggle to overcome. Don’t worry, in heaven we will not have the problem of having our attention getting diverted from where it belongs.

 

[LilyM]

So let me get this straight: you believe that the creator of the universe and the saviour of all humanity is becoming physically present before you, and you are able to be distracted by people drinking coffee? How?

I love God, therefore I care deeply how people behave in His house, just like you might love your mother and so care deeply how people behave in hers. I can’t imagine you would like to see guests leaving trash strewn around her house?

If you love someone you notice how others treat them and how others behave in their presence, and hopefully don’t take it kindly when disrespect is shown.

 

[Seeker1961]

I love God, therefore I care deeply how people behave in His house, just like you might love your mother and so care deeply how people behave in hers. I can’t imagine you would like to see guests leaving trash strewn around her house?

If you love someone you notice how others treat them and how others behave in their presence, and hopefully don’t take it kindly when disrespect is shown.

There may or may not have been intent to be disrespectful and I think that needs to be brought into the conversation. If it is something they do routinely in their own church, they would have thought it perfectly appropriate. Now, if they had been asked politely to leave the beverages outside and they had refused-that would be another story-but we have no record of that occurring. We don’t know if anything was said to them about it at all.

They may love God just as much as you do, and had no intent to disrespect. Since we don’t have any evidence to the contrary, maybe we should try applying the best intentions to others actions instead of assuming the worst.

 

[qui_est_ce]

1. the choir members had water bottles which they used between songs, apparently to whet their whistles.

People didn’t like it.

I don’t like it.

You have to have water to keep yourself from coughing, especially when cantoring. After singing for a while, your throat gets dry and scratchy. I try to hide behind the piano when I sip water.

 

[LilyM]

There may or may not have been intent to be disrespectful and I think that needs to be brought into the conversation. If it is something they do routinely in their own church, they would have thought it perfectly appropriate. Now, if they had been asked politely to leave the beverages outside and they had refused-that would be another story-but we have no record of that occurring. We don’t know if anything was said to them about it at all.

They may love God just as much as you do, and had no intent to disrespect. Since we don’t have any evidence to the contrary, maybe we should try applying the best intentions to others actions instead of assuming the worst.

I’m not assuming the worst - the people who leave trash lying around your mother’s house might not have intended to be disrespectful either, of course, and might just not know any better for many different reasons. All the same, it’s not something you like to see, and it’s definitely not something you just don’t notice at all.