Just Another Confession Thread - No Penance

[TrueLight]

I apologize for my part in adding to the confession thread basket.

So this morning I went to confession at a new place. I am going to be open and say I did have a grave sin to confess in addition to venial sins.

So I confessed everything and the priest gave me quick advice about the venial sin but he did not mention the other sin at all.

Then he said, “I don’t think you did too bad.”

I started to ask about the grave sin but he had already started the absolution. He did not ask me to say the Act of Contrition.

I am as a meek dove in the confessional and just quietly received the absolution. He told me to have a nice day and I said you too and kind of walked out in a daze.

It was only when I was outside that I realized that he had not given me a penance.

I can’t help but feel cheated out of a confession.

Am I blowing it out of proportion?

Charitable responses please.

Thanks.

 

[Bearontherun]

If this happened to me and I felt like something was missing I would probably try to think of a penance for myself to do and give it to the Lord as a gift in reparation for my sins.

We can do penance and sacrifice any time so you might consider adding on to any usual devotions, etc. and offering that as your self-perscribed penance.

 

[silicasandra]

I apologize for my part in adding to the confession thread basket.

So this morning I went to confession at a new place. I am going to be open and say I did have a grave sin to confess in addition to venial sins.

So I confessed everything and the priest gave me quick advice about the venial sin but he did not mention the other sin at all.

Then he said, “I don’t think you did too bad.”

I started to ask about the grave sin but he had already started the absolution. He did not ask me to say the Act of Contrition.

I am as a meek dove in the confessional and just quietly received the absolution. He told me to have a nice day and I said you too and kind of walked out in a daze.

It was only when I was outside that I realized that he had not given me a penance.

I can’t help but feel cheated out of a confession.

Am I blowing it out of proportion?

Charitable responses please.

Thanks.

Yes.

If you received absolution, then you are good to go. If you would like to do some kind of penance on your own to reflect on how to avoid the sin, I think that would be fine, but I would take it as a blessing that your confessor did not find it necessary.

(It could also be God’s way of telling you, possibly, to avoid scruples. It is so easy to get so worked up over every little thing instead of rejoicing in his love!)

 

[TrueLight]

Yes.

If you received absolution, then you are good to go. If you would like to do some kind of penance on your own to reflect on how to avoid the sin, I think that would be fine, but I would take it as a blessing that your confessor did not find it necessary.

(It could also be God’s way of telling you, possibly, to avoid scruples. It is so easy to get so worked up over every little thing instead of rejoicing in his love!)

Hi Silicasandra,

I know you are being helpful and I thank you. What I’m about to say is not only addressed to you, but in just in general.

“Scruples” or “scrupulous” seems to be a common word on CAF.

If I am saying there was a grave sin, trust me there was. I’m obviously not going to say what it was, but if I told you, I’m sure you would agree.

I am more likely to be the kind of person to say once a sin is confessed, I don’t need to confess it over again in a general confession for example. I am sorry for my sin without second-guessing whether I have been forgiven. I am more likely to believe that I can make a perfect contrition, easily.

In other words, in the flesh, I am more likely to be lax when it comes to things like that than scrupulous.

 

[TrueLight]

I know there doesn’t need to be penance for the absolution to be valid. But what of this?

Code of Canon Law, #981: The confessor is to impose salutary and suitable penances in accord with the quality and number of sins, taking into account the condition of the penitent. The penitent is obliged to fulfill these personally.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

I have received penance and no penance activities from the same priest for various reconciliation sessions. The sacrament itself is called Penance and Reconciliation. It’s possible he may have considered your situation and decided that no additional action on your part is required. The matter and form requires a confessor (priest), a penitent (you), contrition and attrition (sorrow for your sin and resolution not to sin) and confession (declaring the sins)

There may be indebtedness which is paid for in Purgatory or here in our world. To have this indebtedness removed, a penitent can be assigned by the confessor a penitential activity. Such penance can take the form prayers or other penitential works (e.g. alms giving). As a final note, a confessor plays a servile role and part of it is that he must pray and do penance for his penitent.

 

[TrueLight]

It looks like most agree that it is perfectly fine to not give a penance, even for grave sin. So then I must concede that I am blowing things out of proportion.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

I know there doesn’t need to be penance for the absolution to be valid. But what of this?

Code of Canon Law, #981: The confessor is to impose salutary and suitable penances in accord with the quality and number of sins, taking into account the condition of the penitent. The penitent is obliged to fulfill these personally.

Perhaps the priest thought that there was no need for a penance. May be the priest forgot to give you a penance. It’s impossible for us to second guess the priest. You should not reveal your sins on here (I know you haven’t) but even if you did we’re not qualified to suggest a suitable penance. As you say you’re not scrupulous so if you feel the need to do a penance choose one and offer it to God and then allow the matter to rest.

 

[TrueLight]

Perhaps the priest thought that there was no need for a penance. May be the priest forgot to give you a penance. It’s impossible for us to second guess the priest. You should not reveal your sins on here (I know you haven’t) but even if you did we’re not qualified to suggest a suitable penance. As you say you’re not scrupulous so if you feel the need to do a penance choose one and offer it to God and then allow the matter to rest.

I am trying to live a penitential life as much as I can, so it’s not that I feel the “need” to do penance outside the confessional, per se. I need to do penance for all my sins, as I sin every day.

It just never occurred to me that sometimes one does not get a penance in the confessional.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

It looks like most agree that it is perfectly fine to not give a penance, even for grave sin. So then I must concede that I am blowing things out of proportion.

Your’e not blowing it out of proportion, you’re just being cautious.

 

[silicasandra]

Hi Silicasandra,

I know you are being helpful and I thank you. What I’m about to say is not only addressed to you, but in just in general.

“Scruples” or “scrupulous” seems to be a common word on CAF.

If I am saying there was a grave sin, trust me there was. I’m obviously not going to say what it was, but if I told you, I’m sure you would agree.

I am more likely to be the kind of person to say once a sin is confessed, I don’t need to confess it over again in a general confession for example. I am sorry for my sin without second-guessing whether I have been forgiven. I am more likely to believe that I can make a perfect contrition, easily.

In other words, in the flesh, I am more likely to be lax when it comes to things like that than scrupulous.

I get where you’re coming from with this. No offense taken at all.

It could just be that the priest, hearing how forthcoming you were about everything, didn’t really think you needed to discuss anything further and trusts that you are walking the right path with God. If you had made sure to mention the grave sin prior (I wasn’t sure about this in your OP) and then just wanted to discuss it a little bit, then I don’t think there’s a problem (maybe he shouldn’t have interrupted, but he might not have heard you and like you said, you’re a “meek dove” in confession - I am too ).

I also think that since some Catholics tend to confess very rarely, a priest might hear confessions from many, many scrupulous people and that might explain his demeanor (especially if he hears that it’s been a short time since your last). I am with you on the scruples coming up all the time thing, but I think it comes up a lot because there are a lot of people with scruples who post here asking “is this a sin?” etc. A priest may hear your confession and think, “Well, she has some work to do, but she’s clearly going about it in the right way so I’m not going to add anything extra to trouble her or possibly lead her to an extreme that would be spiritually unhealthy.” (If that makes sense.)

 

[TrueLight]

A priest may hear your confession and think, “Well, she has some work to do, but she’s clearly going about it in the right way so I’m not going to add anything extra to trouble her or possibly lead her to an extreme that would be spiritually unhealthy.” (If that makes sense.)

I suppose that’s possible.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I think it’s best to trust the priest in the matter. He is, after all, acting in persona Christi, and Christ is speaking through him. We sometimes may have a tendency to not fully appreciate that–not saying that applies to you, but it is easy sometimes to only see the priest in Confession.

 

[TrueLight]

I think it’s best to trust the priest in the matter. He is, after all, acting in persona Christi, and Christ is speaking through him. We sometimes may have a tendency to not fully appreciate that–not saying that applies to you, but it is easy sometimes to only see the priest in Confession.

True.

I guess I see him somewhat as in Persona Christi. Otherwise why would I be a meek dove?

 

[Corki]

It looks like most agree that it is perfectly fine to not give a penance, even for grave sin. So then I must concede that I am blowing things out of proportion.

I wouldn’t say “it is perfectly fine” but it was a mistake on the part of the priest that does not affect the validity of the Sacrament. He *should *have given you a penance. For whatever reason, he didn’t. It was still a good Confession.

PS Not every priest asks the penitent to say the Act of Contrition in the confessional. It is perfectly fine to say it afterwards, especially if you have expressed contrition in some other way during your Confession.

 

[TrueLight]

So I went to confession today, and as someone suggested, explained to the priest about my last confession and since I didn’t receive penance would he mind giving me one for that.

So the priest goes, "You got no penance? I said no. He was like wow.

Then he gave me the most penance I have ever received.

 

[Pitcharan]

I stumbled upon a very useful meditative prayer in which one recalls all causes of pent up anger, bitterness or any kind of grudge and forgives the person who caused it. When I prayed this in meditation before the Blessed sacrament I experienced a joyful peace that was heavenly.

I strongly feel that the process of administering the ‘sacrament of penance’ must be enriched to comprise both repentance and forgiveness. This will also be perfectly in line with our Lord’s teaching.

 

[MartyrForJesus]

600 Hail Mary’s, 300 Our Father’s and 250 Glory Be’s should do it.

I’m only kidding. I would say just do a penance that you often get.

EDIT Sorry, didn’t see your newer post.

 

[Phemie]

I have to say that it depends on the priest. I’ve run into some who don’t seem to ever give a penance and some with whom it’s hit and miss and some who give the most amorphous penance that you wonder if it’s even a penance “Be nice to someone”? Aren’t we always supposed to be nice?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

So I went to confession today, and as someone suggested, explained to the priest about my last confession and since I didn’t receive penance would he mind giving me one for that.

So the priest goes, "You got no penance? I said no. He was like wow.

Then he gave me the most penance I have ever received.

I am guessing that you go to confession every week or 2 (wonderful!) as somone said previously, that may have caused the first priest to think you are scrupulous, or he may simply have forgotten. Also, you mentioned that it was not your usual parish or church to receive confession.

I highly recommend that you settle on one priest or at least one place to go for confession. Not necessarily as a spiritual advisor, but just so that you can feel “comfortable” that the priest is hearing you and you are receiving the fullness of the sacrament. Yes, you are absolved if he says the absolution, but even us non-scrupulous people can be unsettled by things like not receiving a penance or a different process in the confessional.

My children are very much creatures of habit and one tends to scrupulousness, so I always make sure that we get to our home parish for confession on a regular basis. While I often get wonderful advice or other blessings from different confessors, that is not the case for them.

Especially since you are a recent convert, there is no reason to cause yourself any anxiety in connection with your confessions.