Thanks for all the nice replies. To answer about hiring a lawyer to have guys spending the night. No I wouldn’t consider that. Although we don’t have a divorce only a mediated non-legally binding agreement and it would probably be possible with a battle. She is still my wife although not in her eyes. I’ve been over it in my head constantly the only thing to do is let go, any other route and the kids will suffer more still.
I think you should reconsider and think about hiring a lawyer. Let me give you some reasons why and what I have seen personally happen to my sister and a friend. In my sister’s case, the children were abused from the start by the girlfriend. She was mean and degrading to them. My sister’s lawyer petitioned the court for parenting class for my sister’s husband, but his lawyers were better and he got out of it. He married this woman just one week about his divorce papers were signed. Things got worse for the kids and my sister had to try to get guardian ad lidem for the kids, but again his lawyers were better. Nothing was done. The kids were beginning to show signs of the stress physically and emotionally, so my sister took them to a psychologist so that they can deal with the divorce and the immediate marriage of their dad and the abuse. The psychologist started to see things and called child services many times and again nothing was done, but only because the kids dad and the wife were both cops. CPS believed the cops versus the kids and the marks on the kids and there significant weight loss when with their dad for more than two weeks. In the end, the stepmom sexually abused the little boy, my nephew, but she pointed a gun to him and told him not to tell his dad or anyone else, so he kept quiet until after his dad divorced her. Both children are in counseling and will be needing counseling for a long time. Every book you reads tells people not to get the children involved with another person while they are separated or recently divorced, but some people don’t listen and are selfish. They put their desires and needs above their childrens. So yes, please get a lawyer and look out for your children’s best interest. Your children don’t need to know about it and should not know what you and your wife do in and out of court or mediation. That is what my sister’s ex use to do is report everything to the kids and this stressed them out so much and than he would tell the judge that my sister and our family were the one telling the kids adult issues. It was just evil what he did.
In another case of a friend, his wife told him that she was taking the kids to visit her mother in another state. When she got there she called him and said she will not be returning and she will keep the kids with her. We all told him to get a lawyer and he had very right to have his kids back to where he lived, but he thought if he just played into her wishes, she would not ask for a divorce. He ended up moving to the state where she was with the kids but she wiped out his bank account because he left it open for her to withdraw money after she left despite all his siblings and friends telling him to close the account and give her child support. She took thousands and now he is divorce, which he did not want and does not have much money. It is sad. His daughters don’t like him because their mother has poison their minds about their dads, but his sons love him so much. If he would have looked out for his interest and the kid’s interest in the beginning, maybe the whole mess he is in now could be better. In another words, you can’t be too nice hoping she will return to you.
Most of all pray for her. She is living in adultery and needs prayers and your children are seeing this bad example. You don’t know this man she is with and what kind of life he had before meeting your wife. Protect your kids!
:hug1::byzsoc: