Just Broke Up and Confused

  • Thread starter Thread starter lovely0lovely
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

lovely0lovely

Guest
I just recently broke up with my boyfriend, who I been dating for 6 months. So, here is the story; before we started dating, me and him were really good friends for about a year and half and at that time I was agnostic. Around last March, he asked me out and I agreed. Due to religion disagreements (me being agnostic and him being a Catholic) and other factors such as I wasn’t ready to meet his friends, and him watch porn, he broke up with him after 3 months into the relationship.

After the separation, I started to misbehave and went to a lot of parties getting drunk. Fast forward after two months of separation, I met a priest, and the priest inspired me to look into Catholicism, and I did. I stared to study the bible and going to the church regularly. I love Catholicism, and it is fascinating.

3 Months later, me and my ex boyfriend started to go to church together and then decided to get back together, which was in Oct. After we got back together, we went to adoration, and church together as often as we could and we shared numerous great memories together. Moreover, I tried to help him fight his pornography addiction as best as I could by supporting him such as block off his phone, and telling victory is a pursue and pray for him every night.

Everything was okay until two weeks ago. Me and him had argument about me not wanting to meet his friends. I told him, I sincerely want to meet his friends, but I just really nervous and hate how I have to impress people. He thought that answer was laughable and as a excuse for not wanting to meet his friends because I am super outgoing. I just don’t know how to explain that to him. Moreover, after the fight, I just don’t feel like I am important to him, and i just don’t want to accommodate to his needs all the time. I just feel tired of him always doubting the relationship thinking that relationship should have zero doubts. I told him, in any relationship there will be doubts, but at the end of the day, as long as you care about each other and that should be fine, but he doesn’t understand that. Also, I am tired of him not have confidences in himself that he will make me happy, and I deserve better when he can make me happy, and I am happy with him 80% of the time. However, there is something really off with our relationship, I just can’t pin point at it like sometime we connect really well like we are best friend, and other time we just sit silent in the car. Nevertheless, out of tiredness, when he said he is not happy with the relationship for the past two weeks, I told him I am done with this relationship. He agreed. Now I am confused and don’t know what to to. One minute I want to get back together and next moment I don’t. I am so confused. I care about him deeply and i don’t want to lose him, but I just don’t want me and him to be always on and off and on and off. Any advices???
 
Agree to be friends right now, and leave it at that.It sounds as though there is too much insecurity in this relationship, also a porn addiction is a major problem for a relationship.I don’t know how old you are, but there is plenty of time for relationships in the future.In the mean time embrace your faith and spend more time in developing a relationship w/ Jesus and the Blessed Mother.
 
Thank you for breaking it up. :rolleyes:

How long has it been? Two weeks isn’t very long. Believe me. It can take several months. 😦

From what you wrote, the relationship didn’t seem to have much of a future, honestly. I hate to say it. But it seems like you gave it your best shot but there was something there that just wasn’t clicking.

Eventually your heart will heal. But give it time. Don’t try to jump back to him right now because whatever was wrong before will still be wrong, if you know what I mean.

How old are you?
 
Pa_Newman said:
Agree to be friends right now, and leave it at that.It sounds as though there is too much insecurity in this relationship, also a porn addiction is a major problem for a relationship.I don’t know how old you are, but there is plenty of time for relationships in the future.In the mean time embrace your faith and spend more time in developing a relationship w/ Jesus and the Blessed Mother.
Click to expand...
I am 21 and he is 22. The way we ended was just too impulsive, and I told him we cannot be friends until we are certain that we don’t have feeling for each other, which would be hard because we go to the same school and have one class together for about 3 hours…
 
on_the_hill said:
Thank you for breaking it up. :rolleyes:

How long has it been? Two weeks isn’t very long. Believe me. It can take several months. 😦

From what you wrote, the relationship didn’t seem to have much of a future, honestly. I hate to say it. But it seems like you gave it your best shot but there was something there that just wasn’t clicking.

Eventually your heart will heal. But give it time. Don’t try to jump back to him right now because whatever was wrong before will still be wrong, if you know what I mean.

How old are you?
Click to expand...
I am 21, we just broke up today and a lot of my friends thought I was joking since me and him were so close. Moreover, my friends told me that I me and him really care about each and should try to have a serious talk instead of running away. I know, I will heal I did this before with the same guy haha I am fill sadness/regrets and worry for him on how he is doing.
 
lovely0lovely said:

“Everything was okay until two weeks ago. Me and him had argument about me not wanting to meet his friends. I told him, I sincerely want to meet his friends, but I just really nervous and hate how I have to impress people. He thought that answer was laughable and as a excuse for not wanting to meet his friends because I am super outgoing. I just don’t know how to explain that to him. Moreover, after the fight, I just don’t feel like I am important to him, and i just don’t want to accommodate to his needs all the time. I just feel tired of him always doubting the relationship thinking that relationship should have zero doubts. I told him, in any relationship there will be doubts, but at the end of the day, as long as you care about each other and that should be fine, but he doesn’t understand that. Also, I am tired of him not have confidences in himself that he will make me happy, and I deserve better when he can make me happy, and I am happy with him 80% of the time. However, there is something really off with our relationship, I just can’t pin point at it like sometime we connect really well like we are best friend, and other time we just sit silent in the car.”

The whole thing sounds exhausting. The two of you have known each other for a while–it shouldn’t be this hard at this stage in your relationship.
 
Xantippe said:
lovely0lovely said:

“Everything was okay until two weeks ago. Me and him had argument about me not wanting to meet his friends. I told him, I sincerely want to meet his friends, but I just really nervous and hate how I have to impress people. He thought that answer was laughable and as a excuse for not wanting to meet his friends because I am super outgoing. I just don’t know how to explain that to him. Moreover, after the fight, I just don’t feel like I am important to him, and i just don’t want to accommodate to his needs all the time. I just feel tired of him always doubting the relationship thinking that relationship should have zero doubts. I told him, in any relationship there will be doubts, but at the end of the day, as long as you care about each other and that should be fine, but he doesn’t understand that. Also, I am tired of him not have confidences in himself that he will make me happy, and I deserve better when he can make me happy, and I am happy with him 80% of the time. However, there is something really off with our relationship, I just can’t pin point at it like sometime we connect really well like we are best friend, and other time we just sit silent in the car.”

The whole thing sounds exhausting. The two of you have known each other for a while–it shouldn’t be this hard at this stage in your relationship.
Click to expand...
I know, it is just that me and him have too much going on and i feel whenever he sees me he is always stress about something. He is in military, have two jobs pretty much around 40 ish hours together, full time student. I am also a full time student, works part time, and chairman of a volunteering projects. It is hard… and like you said exhausting
 
Since you are a full time student, there must be a counseling center on your campus they usually provide services free to students (your registration fees help pay for campus services).I would suggest that you make an appointment to speak w/ a counselor.It is much more helpful to talk to someone face to face versus online.They are trained professionals and are used to dealing with relationship issues.They could help you get things sorted out.Not only is this an emotional issue it can become an academic one in that the stress etc. can easily affect your academic performance.I know it hard so don’t be afraid to seek some one on one assistance to get through this. Take care and God bless you!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top