Just Don't Know What to Do...

[juliasmith]

I’ve been gone from the forums (and the church) for almost a year now.

I have a history of occult involvement, and fell back into those practices while away from the church.

I have over twenty years in neo-paganism and with this return to those practices came a promise of income for teaching.

Yesterday, I was overwhelmed by a powerful sense of guilt for being involved with this teaching process. I won’t share what happened, as we are not supposed to share personal revelations, but it was powerful. I need prayer and advice. I do not know how to extricate myself from this completely.

My best friend is neo-pagan. I run a small group again. I am set to teach at an online,degree providing Wiccan school,this is so intertwined in my life I don’t think I can ever get away from it.

I will lose my entire social network and support system. But I know that I cannot continue with this. I am tired of the roller-coaster.I’ve waffled back and forth between the two worlds (christian and neo-pagan) for so long. I want free of this once and for and all. Last night I came across the alleged vision of Leo XIII(?) about Satan being given more power over people that would do his will in this century and it seemed that was what I was going through. The devil had been given more power over me because I allowed it to happen.

But every time I pray to Christ, it seems He is not there. That He has turned his back on me.Is that possible that it is too late and Christ will have nothing to do with me because I allowed myself to get confused and in doing so, sinned?

 

[SalomeBintullah]

I’ve been gone from the forums (and the church) for almost a year now.

I have a history of occult involvement, and fell back into those practices while away from the church.

I have over twenty years in neo-paganism and with this return to those practices came a promise of income for teaching.

Yesterday, I was overwhelmed by a powerful sense of guilt for being involved with this teaching process. I won’t share what happened, as we are not supposed to share personal revelations, but it was powerful. I need prayer and advice. I do not know how to extricate myself from this completely.

My best friend is neo-pagan. I run a small group again. I am set to teach at an online,degree providing Wiccan school,this is so intertwined in my life I don’t think I can ever get away from it.

I will lose my entire social network and support system. But I know that I cannot continue with this. I am tired of the roller-coaster.I’ve waffled back and forth between the two worlds (christian and neo-pagan) for so long. I want free of this once and for and all. Last night I came across the alleged vision of Leo XIII(?) about Satan being given more power over people that would do his will in this century and it seemed that was what I was going through. The devil had been given more power over me because I allowed it to happen.

But every time I pray to Christ, it seems He is not there. That He has turned his back on me.Is that possible that it is too late and Christ will have nothing to do with me because I allowed myself to get confused and in doing so, sinned?

I’ll repost my answer from the Evangelization forum because I started typing a response before you moved the topic to a different forum, and I’ve got some important things to say.

Don’t ever think that Christ has abandoned you. That’s just Satan working on you and trying to convince you to come back to him. Don’t forget about St. Paul; he persecuted and even killed Christians, but God caused him to turn away from that and work to spread Christianity. It must have been incredibly difficult for him to lose his entire “support network” by giving up persecution and becoming one of the persecuted. But it was worth it. I suggest rereading the Acts of the Apostles and St. Paul’s letters with this in mind. Maybe you could also watch this movie about Paul’s life.

In the past, I’ve also struggled with some sins that have been very difficult to give up. Satan is continually trying to convince me to return to them, and sometimes I do, but I always regret them afterward and go to confession. I’ve noticed that it’s easier for me to resist each time. Remember, there is no sin so great that God cannot forgive it.

And, of course, I would definitely recommend looking for a new job.

 

[Luke65]

Is that possible that it is too late and Christ will have nothing to do with me because I allowed myself to get confused and in doing so, sinned?

No, that is not possible. Our Lord is there, and when you’re ready, He will reveal Himself to you. In the meantime, pray for the grace of faith, so that you may believe that He is there and has not abandoned you; and pray for the grace of strength, so that you will be able to do what you already know you need to do.

You mentioned Pope Leo’s vision of our Lord allowing the devil to try and destroy His Church. But remember, shortly after that Jesus appeared to Sr. Faustina with the message of the Divine Mercy devotion. This is for you! And me! And many others. And you can learn about it here. God bless.

 

[Eucharisted]

Seek the intercession of Our Lady of Pompeii and of Blessed Bartolo Longo. You will obtain through their intercession all the graces and help you need against evil and for a God-centered life.

 

[beckycmarie]

Julia, God loves you and will never abandon you.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

You can get out of the occult involvement. Here’s what I recommend for you:

1. Pray for the grace to be able to renounce and walk away from your occult involvement.
2. Go to Confession and begin going to Mass regularly.
3. Get rid of occult paraphernalia (See Procedure to Destroy Occultic or Cursed Objects pdf file)
4. End friendships/association with those involved in the occult.
5. Begin following the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. With involvement in the occult, there is a possibility of a demonic attachment. Your difficulty with getting yourself out of the occult sounds like an area of bondage to me. Following these steps can help you find freedom.

You are in my prayers.

 

[Shin]

Do you know what an act of perfect contrition is? Strive to make it in regards to your involvement in the occult. Strive to hate, reject and utterly cast away any love or desire for anything to do with the occult, or the occasion of sin with it, and to love God for His own sake, no matter what.

Strive to make that act of love, so that if God willed you enter the fires of Hell to purify your sins you would happily go there.

Make this perfect act of contrition, pray the St. Michael prayer morning and evening, and perhaps also regularly the Chaplet of St. Michael.

There are some sermons on Spiritual Warfare in the links in my signature below, they are helpful.

The St. Benedict crucifix is a great sacramental to war for someone in spiritual battle. And a large jar of holy water to use regularly.

Also, to be happy, always think about all that God has given you, and be full of gratitude, and rejoice in how beautiful He is.

Be thankful for His mercy and love and trust Him no matter what happens. Be ready to carry the cross!

Ave Maria! Prayers here for your sake!

 

[pia]

Even in our darkest moments God is always with us even though it does not feel like it sometimes. I think this poem sums it up. Its called Footprints in the sand, i think it is beautiful.

Last night i had a dream, i dreamed i was walking alomg the beach with the lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene i noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, i looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so i asked the Lord about it. “lord you said once i decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But i noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times in my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when i needed you the most you would leave me.”

The Lord replied, my child, my precious child, I love you and i would never leave you. During your times of suffering when you could only see one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you.

satan never gives up trying to make us doubt and turn our backs on God, stay strong and pray pray pray.

 

[juliasmith]

Seek the intercession of Our Lady of Pompeii and of Blessed Bartolo Longo. You will obtain through their intercession all the graces and help you need against evil and for a God-centered life.

I did some research online about this. Wow. There is a (on his way to being) saint that has been through what I am going through!

Thank you so much for this. Thanks to all of you. Today, we had a horrific storm blow up. I found my brown scapular…blessed, never worn. After I put it on I felt better. And then I got my bible down and went to Psalm 140. Your prayers are helping. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

About the job, I think the promise of money from this won’t pan out. I believe it is a lie being dangled in front of me to keep me involved in the occult and out of the grace of God. Nothing will ever come of it, just as other things promised never panned out. I guess the real question is, ‘why do I keep falling for the same stuff over and over?’.