Just got married yesterday!

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I assume the notion of Valid/Invalid is a Catholic-specific qualification, and hence no need to qualify the 3rd fact with a reference to “in the eyes of the church”?

Yes.

Mirriam Webster

val·id adjective \ˈva-ləd
: fair or reasonable

: acceptable according to the law

1in·val·id
: not valid:
a : being without foundation or force in fact, truth, or law
b : logically inconsequent

So yes, we would be talking about the legality in the laws of the Church.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

My husband and I went to the courthouse yesterday morning and were married at 10 am. We plan on having the ceremony sometime next fall or spring depending on money. We are so excited for what the future holds. I never thought I would be married already, but we knew what we wanted and went for it. I’m just so thrilled I can’t contain my excitement

Congratulations however do note you can’t morally begin marital relations until your marriage has been convalidated by a Catholic priest.

 

[Captain_America]

MY advice to the OP is to move out of Illinois: the state’s in horrible shape and there’s every indication that it will get shabbier.

If you can, don’t settle here.

 

[Miss_Felicity]

Congrats

 

[MJJean]

I have been civilly married to a truck driver for 11 years. He is Catholic and I am not (yet). Since we married civilly, our marriage is not valid. We’re waiting on an annulment of my previous civil marriage and then we will convalidate and I will be able to be received fully into the Church.

I understand how difficult it is to fulfill the obligations of the Church when you never know if your man will be home. I also know how very difficult it is to be married to a truck driver, especially one who is working regional or over the road. There were months we didn’t see each other but 2-4 days! It’s hard on a relationship, especially if you have kids because then you feel like a single parent, and the divorce rate is high!

As a Catholic you should already be aware of the graces bestowed upon a marriage by God. Trust me, you will need those graces to make this union work. Please, do everything you can to get in touch with a priest and get your civil marriage convalidated. If your civil husband has a smart phone or a laptop, perhaps you could do your pre-cana via Skype or some type of Church approved online program. Then you could do the paperwork and schedule a small ceremony when your husband is scheduled to be home. Just you and your man, two witnesses, and the priest. If your husband ends up not making it home you could always reschedule. I am sure the witnesses and priest would understand considering the circumstances.

If you have trouble finding a priest, keep trying! Talk to the priest at every parish in the state if you have to.

 

[_Jenn]

And, since you brought it up, lets talk about “sacramental” marriage. The Church recognizes non sacramental marriages all the time! When a Catholic marries a non Catholic it is not sacramental. It is a valid marriage but not a sacramental one. So the Church distinguishes between valid, invalid and sacramental. Those are the three types. Invalid means it does not exist. Which is what the OP has. A non existent marriage.
If this were called State Law Answers Forum, I would need to qualify my statements. The OP attempted marriage but did not succeed. When you understand this, you can see what nullity really means.

Actually, your statement is not entirely true. My marriage to my non Catholic Christian husband is indeed sacramental. There is a difference between Catholics marrying non Catholic Christians who are baptized & marrying non Catholics who are not Christian or baptized.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Actually, your statement is not entirely true. My marriage to my non Catholic Christian husband is indeed sacramental. There is a difference between Catholics marrying non Catholic Christians who are baptized & marrying non Catholics who are not Christian or baptized.

Yes, and that was explained in a later post.

Baptism is necessary.

 

[glamourdollxoxo]

Thanks everyone for your responses we have the marriage license but it expires in so many days which doesn’t make it legally binding since we didn’t do a court house ceremony we only applied. We found a priest who is willing to marry us because the church we were going to get married in the priest is out sick and there are have a number of priests rotating each week to fill in. Another church we inquired about was asking for a fee of 100,000 which there is no way we would pay that. Thankfully a local church has stepped up to help us get the process going until the priest returns or they have a clear idea of what is going on. Thanks for your help!

 

[Rau]

Thanks everyone for your responses we have the marriage license but it expires in so many days which doesn’t make it legally binding since we didn’t do a court house ceremony we only applied. We found a priest who is willing to marry us because the church we were going to get married in the priest is out sick and there are have a number of priests rotating each week to fill in. Another church we inquired about was asking for a fee of 100,000 which there is no way we would pay that. Thankfully a local church has stepped up to help us get the process going until the priest returns or they have a clear idea of what is going on. Thanks for your help!

“100,000” what? I have not heard of a Catholic Church prescribing a fee to conduct a marriage ( or any other sacrament) and the idea is appalling.

 

[glamourdollxoxo]

“100,000” what? I have not heard of a Catholic Church prescribing a fee to conduct a marriage ( or any other sacrament) and the idea is appalling.

Typo I didn’t see the extra comma the church wanted 1k to do a wedding

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Thanks everyone for your responses we have the marriage license but it expires in so many days which doesn’t make it legally binding since we didn’t do a court house ceremony we only applied. We found a priest who is willing to marry us because the church we were going to get married in the priest is out sick and there are have a number of priests rotating each week to fill in. Another church we inquired about was asking for a fee of 100,000 which there is no way we would pay that. Thankfully a local church has stepped up to help us get the process going until the priest returns or they have a clear idea of what is going on. Thanks for your help!

What parish is that!?

Here is the fee breakdown for the CATHEDRAL in Chicago.

This would be probably THE most expensive parish in illinois. Not to mention that I am sure they would help if you could not afford it.

OFFERING AND FEES FOR WEDDINGS:
$1000 offering for the use of the Cathedral or the Chapel.
$110 – Fee for FOCCUS
$250 – Fee for One In Christ Seminar
$475 - Music Fee for Organist, Cantor and Consultation
TBD – Fee for additional musicians
Fees are scheduled to be paid as follows:
At first meeting with priest or deacon:
$500 non refundable deposit for use on the Cathedral
110 FOCCUS fee
$610 – Total
At the first session of the One In Christ Seminar
$250 - One In Christ Seminar fee
Minimum Six Weeks before the Wedding:
$500 - Balance of Cathedral offering
475 - Music fee for organist and cantor
Any additional Music fee for extra musicians.

Checks should be make out to Holy Name Cathedral and placed in the envelopes provided in this packet. Credit cards are not accepted for wedding fees.

Preparation only: A fee of $200 plus the $110 fee for FOCCUS is required for preparing a couple to be married at a setting other than the Cathedral. This fee is due at the first meeting with the priest or deacon.

Also, I am unaware of illinois law but a marriage license that has an expiration date?

Something does not add up. But you are demonstrating why everything we all posted is the case. Valid? I think not!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Typo I didn’t see the extra comma the church wanted 1k to do a wedding

Are you looking for a place to have your wedding at less than 1k? I think that could be no problem at all since you do not seem to be focused on an elaborate ceremony with the use of parish facilities. Most fees are for the extra expense of hosting a “wedding” And I know of no parish where the fees would not be waived or lessened for financial hardship with the situation you describe. The other issue is wedding prep which you obviously could benefit from. I would encourage you to follow the Church’s guidelines and take the steps necessary to make this a valid, sacramental, and successful marriage. Because honestly, you are going to need the graces doing this right will provide.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Thanks everyone for your responses we have the marriage license but it expires in so many days which doesn’t make it legally binding since we didn’t do a court house ceremony we only applied.

Let me get this strait. You are not even married (Civilly) legally in the state of illinois?

Why did you post that you “got married”?

What did you exactly do at 10 am?

On the up side there are many here who have argued that indeed you were married that now can see that you were not. That little piece of information could have saved a lot of typing on our parts.:banghead:

 

[oldgraymare2]

Yes, Hoosier Daddy,

I guess in some states, the marriage license is good for only a certain period of time, and then it expires if you don’t use it. Then, you have to reapply again.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Yes, Hoosier Daddy,

I guess in some states, the marriage license is good for only a certain period of time, and then it expires if you don’t use it. Then, you have to reapply again.

Which is exactly why the Church does not recognize a marriage with a expiration.

But what did they do to get married? No witness?

 

[oldgraymare2]

I don’t know, Hoosier Daddy.

There seems to be some kind of confusion going on here, in my opinion, by the OP. To have a civil marriage by the state, you have to actually go in front of a judge and exchange vows. Applying for a license does not make you married.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

OP:

Civilly you are not married. The state requires you to be married by someone the state has given the power to marry people. In your case, this person needs to be a priest.

And in your faith, You of course are not married. You need to go to confession, and live chastely until this is reconciled. If those two things are not accomplished you should not receive the Eucharist at Mass.

Please take the time to learn about marriage before you do this. Allow Holy Mother Church to walk you through this minefield of life. Take advantage of what the Church will require you to do. It is imperative that you do this not only for your marriage, but for your soul.

 

[bernadettefaith]

I’m confused as well. Did you just apply for the license or did you actually have a civil ceremony?

Or are you saying that you applied for a marriage license and married civilly to be sure to use it before it’s expiration?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I’ll repeat once again:

They are legally married. This is a fact.

They are not sacramentally married. This is a fact.

To say unequivocally that they are “not married” - without offering any qualifying statements (such as “in the eyes of the Church”), is simply not true.

We have to change these “facts” Turns out I was entitled to my “own” facts.

 

[Irishmom2]

Glamourdollxoxo has another thread asking about church fees begun today, and on that thread, says she did not get married yet. Hope this was not a big waste of time for everyone…