Hi, I can see from some other posts here that this may be a subject covered quite often on this forum but I finally decided just to post on here and just get some advice from people. I’ve been struggling with masturbation and pornography for years now. Lately it’s been getting a lot worse. I can’t seem to just control myself and each day is such a struggle to not do it that I eventually just give in. I try to pray and ask God for strength and the temptations may subside for a little bit but just come back even stronger. I’m not really sure how to handle this. I go to confession quite often but lately I’ve been so embarrassed with myself that I can’t even bring myself to go to confession because I feel like going so frequently makes it look like I’m not trying to rid myself of this sin. I actually told my priest that and he told me not to feel embarrassed and that you can never go to often. Still that hasn’t helped me go continually or often enough. I just need some advice on how to counter these temptations and eventually give myself more control.
Your priest is right… you can’t go to Confession “too often.” St. Joan of Arc used to go every day! and she said, "a soul can never be “too clean.”’
There are things you can do right away, like trash all porn and refuse to look at it.
And there are things, like changing habits, that can take time. But we are too weak to change by ourselves. It is Christ who wins the battle in us.
A priest one time said in a homily about today’s gospel, "In the original Greek, the conversation goes as follows (sorry for the paraphrasing):
Christ: Peter, do you Agape (unconditional, Godly love)
me?
Peter: (realizing his weakness and failures, knowing that he doesn’t not love God as God loves, in total humility answers,)
Yes Lord, I Filioque (a humanly love)
You.
Christ: Then feed my lambs (and again)
Peter, do you Agape me?
Peter: Yes Lord, I filioque You
Christ: Then tend my sheep
(but now the dialogue changes a bit)
Christ: Peter, do you filioque me?
(and Peter in distress answers):
Peter: Yes Lord, you know my heart, I filioque You
Christ: Then tend my sheep. For when you were a child, someone else dressed you and you went where you wanted. But soon, someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go signifying what sort of death he would glorify God
The priest’s take on it was, Christ first asked Him, showing His wounds in His hands, "Do you love me like this - Agape - enough to die for me?
Peter knows that he denied Christ, so he answers with humility, “I can only love you in my humanly way.”
It was a confession.
But Christ in the third question accepts the humanly, imperfect love and works with it! 'Now that you have acknowledged you human weakness… your lack of Agape, now I can work with it! I will take your filioque and turn it into Agape! You too will be crucified!
Christ loves us in our weakness, and even more when we give it to Him. He not only can redeem our weakness and brokeness, but makes us even better than before when we give our weaknesses to Him. Confession is this first step in giving our weaknesses to Him!
The devil will try everything in his power to discourage you and lead you into despair. Know that this is a temptation and God is not treating you like that. God can work with anything… even nothing and make it all new!
