Just one hang up

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leamar3

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I feel compelled to learn more about the Catholic faith. I’m currently reading Rome Sweet Rome, most of Catholicism for Dummies, and I’ve done a lot of reading online. I’m pretty certain that it would be the right decision for me to convert to Catholicism. It took me a while to bring the subject to my husband, who no longer attends church and doesn’t feel like he needs to have a relationship God, and surprisingly he was very supportive. We just have one hang up though-birth control. I completely understand and respect the reasoning behind not using birth control, but we absolutely would not be able to provide for anymore children. My husband and I already have three children who we love dearly. After reading about the subject from the Catholic view I now actually feel bad about taking the pill. My husband made me feel better by reminding me we got pregnant with our twins while I was taking the pill, so if God wants to bless us with more children that he won’t let birth control stop it from happening.I guess what I’m getting at is this- should I just stop thinking about conversion since my husband would never agree to not using some kind of birth control method? I’m not trying to blame my husband, but I’m already changing my mind about birth control, but I know he won’t change his thinking.
 
If you know the catholic church is Christs church…no … you should not let you or your husband or birth control get in the way.

I highly suggest getting the cd: “women , gods masterpiece” very very interesting. it’s by christopher west …search it online. I would insist that your husband listens…if not, I’d ask him why he wants you to take something that is a carcinogenic…and what is it about your body he feels need medication? Is it because it’s something he things is inherently wrong with a womans body or is it because it allows him to use you without consequences. Furthermore, why would you take chances on aborting a child.

Please get that cd…it’s amazing.

God bless.

Michael
 
Have you looked into learning about NFP? It’s Catholic Church approved, and when done correctly, can be just as or more effective than taking a birth control pill. There’s quite a bit to it, so you’d have to do some reading up on everything it offers. Not only that, but NFP can be used to avoid or conceive. You can’t get that with the pill.

Advertisement over… but seriously, you should look into NFP.
 
Thank you for the suggestion. I will check out the CD that you mention. My husband has an incredible respect for me and our marriage, so I’m sure he’ll listen to it. He would say that it’s ok for me to stop taking the pill, but he would still want to use other means to ensure that we don’t add to our family at this time. It’s not that our hearts aren’t open to more children. Our current financial state has placed some limitations on our spending. What do other people (who are Catholic) do in that situation?
 
You must refuse to participate in any form of birth control.
 
oh ok! well that’s all good news then friend.

The catholic church teaches Natural family planning. It’s not harmful to your body, it helps teach respect and responsibility, teaches how to learn eachothers bodies.

In a nut shell…you learn how to look for the signs of when you are ovulating and will simply not have sex during those times. Now, that still means that if God wants you to get pregnant…you are at least open to it.

and if you really think he’s willing…please please please get that cd! it could change your marriage.
 
Learn about NFP…talk to your priest about you and your husband taking a class.

There are a number of sites you can visit too for materials and general info. It’s the only method of child-spacing the Catholic Church approves of.

Here are some sites:

onemoresoul.com/
ccli.org/
nfp.marquette.edu/
tcoyf.com/

The last site is the only secular site…the rest are Catholic sites.
Still the last site does not advise using any kind of BC either…even condoms during the fertile period if you are trying to avoid a pregnancy because if the condom fails…you are most likely to get pregnant.

Check them out…call your diocese and ask for information of classes available for you and your husband to take. You can also do at home course from CCL and they provide all the books and online support. Marquette does too.

Good luck.
NFP does work.
Welcome home! 🙂
 
leamar3 said:
Our current financial state has placed some limitations on our spending. What do other people (who are Catholic) do in that situation?
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Very conservative use of NFP. While it might seem harsh, financial and health reasons are never acceptable reasons to cooperate with intrinsically evil practices. The pill, condoms, etc. all separate us from full giving of ourselves as God intended. If there is a serious need to avoid more children then abstaining until the last part of the cycle is the only moral choice (well that or complete abstinence :D)
 
The basic premise is that when you engage in intercourse, it must be both unitive and procreative. “Procreative” does not mean that the woman must get pregnant or must be able to get pregnant at any given moment (otherwise, sex during pregnancy or after menopause would be prohibited); rather, it means that the act is done in a way that could naturally result in pregnancy if the woman were fertile, with nothing done to hinder either the husband’s or the wife’s fertility.

Natural family planning is in line with Catholic teaching because it is knowledge that the couple can use to decide when to have sex. When they have sex, it must be a complete gift of self, including one’s fertility in whatever state it naturally is in at the moment. On the other hand, if the couple has serious reasons to avoid pregnancy at the moment, and if they are fertile, they refrain from having sex. This maintains the integrity of the act, which must always be a total gift of self.

To answer your question, Catholics in your situation have two options: NFP or complete abstinence. We are lucky to be living at a time when science is finally able to explain the fertility cycle to such a degree of accuracy that couples can confidently rely on NFP to help plan their families.

God bless, and welcome home!
 
leamar3 said:
It’s not that our hearts aren’t open to more children. Our current financial state has placed some limitations on our spending. What do other people (who are Catholic) do in that situation?
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My wife and I are in that situation. We would absolutely welcome another baby, but we are not in good enough shape financially to even consider it and most likely won’t be anytime soon, if ever. It’s not like we never have sex though, we just have to make sure it is during times when she is *naturally *infertile. Which, for us, is all the time because we are currently going by the LAM method. (infertility due to breastfeeding)

I promise you, with all my heart, that using NFP and changing your views on sexuality to match the teachings of the Catholic church have healed my marriage and make every single time we are able to reunite so much better than anytime before. It’s worth it.
 
This is a little unorthodox but here goes. You can’t use birth controll. If your husband insists on using it and he is not Catholic then you are not liable. As long as you have tried to talk him out of it. I know this because my wife is Protestant and insists on using birth control. So I looked up the churches position on this
 
Steveabrous said:
This is a little unorthodox but here goes. You can’t use birth controll. If your husband insists on using it and he is not Catholic then you are not liable. As long as you have tried to talk him out of it. I know this because my wife is Protestant and insists on using birth control. So I looked up the churches position on this
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For your situation, this is correct, but for her’s, she still cannot take a birth control pill. If her husband, as a non-Catholic, decided he wanted to use contraception, she is not liable, but not if he tries to make her take it.
 
Steveabrous said:
This is a little unorthodox but here goes. You can’t use birth controll. If your husband insists on using it and he is not Catholic then you are not liable. As long as you have tried to talk him out of it. I know this because my wife is Protestant and insists on using birth control. So I looked up the churches position on this
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She cannot take birth control even if her husband insists. She can (but is not required to) have sex with him even if he should use a condom, however she must disapprove of the condom use and must not remind him to use a condom.
 
That is very interesting. It also sounds like a sticky situation. I feel like I would be partaking in a sin. I guess that because he’s not really practicing any form of religion, let alone Catholicism, he is not under any “obligation” to follow this line of thinking. Wow, this is very enlightening. I suppose I assumed that because he and I are a union that his decisions in the matter would affect me, spiritually speaking.
 
:tiphat: Welcome to CAF. Come on in, the water’s fine! My fellow posters have given you some very good advice and I hope that you and your husband are able to be truly open to the Catholic Faith. I’m a convert and I love it. This year is my sweet sixteen as a Catholic and I’ve never regretted it. Some of the Church’s teachings can be difficult to accept, so I would strongly encourage you to pray a lot. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten, correct and guide you and your husband.
As for artificial contraception, I find it a bit strange that, after conceiving while on the pill, he would continue to insist that you use it.🤷 Even if he doesn’t want to become Catholic, NFP is so much better. There are a lot of Protestants who use NFP. :blessyou:
 
o.k. guyes read my post I said “YOU CAN NOT USE BIRTH CONTROL”. Her husband would have to be the one to use it. which would have to be condoms most likely. But I thought I made it clear that she could not use birth control. Maybe not.
 
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