Just so tired.. Venting

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GraceDK

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Could anyone help me? I don’t know if I am extraordinarily weak and sensitive but sometimes I just feel like I am going under by having to live here (Denmark, Europe).

One day in my life: I read the morning news paper. For the third time in one weak an Arabic man has raped a Danish woman in “my back yard” in the early morning or middle of the day outside. I get the feeling I wanna run out, find the guy and cut of his you-know-what. I am filled with anger.

Then I sit here (I live in a university house), at my writing desk doing my work when my young neighbour has intercourse with her boyfriend next door and has a loud orgasm… I feel nailed to the spot and start weeping. For a long moment I want to die.
I escape from my room and run to the city. I nearly step in some puke from last night’s party as I get off the bus in the city.
Two times I see couples touch each other inappropriately on the open street.

As I get home I get yet another letter back from a politician as a response to a protest letter I send to the government last week when they suddenly made a new rule giving green light for women to bathe without covering their breasts in the public swimming halls… I am now called a “puritan” and a “spinster” by politicians elected by the people. I feel alone in my protesting since the rest of the Christian community here does not seem to care one bit about anything… and now I am at the mercy of foolish politicians who dont want to respond in a professional way to my appeal because I am far outnumbered anyway…

I go to Mass and get relieved somewhat by the peace and strength of Christ… but the newly ordained priest does not preach … he has a sermon alright but he dares not say anything that may disturb the people. That people are immodestly dressed and dont keep their children quiet are the least of our problems… John the baptist and Jesus preached “repentance to the forgiveness of sins”… as its written in my Bible… but I have hardly ever heard a priest preach about repentance from sins, let alone mention any of them.

Then I come home… enter the kitchen and hear another neighbour singing drinking songs about sex… only… he is not drunk but thinks this is funny and apparently it is… coz two girls are giggling… And I get sad that I did not have the strength to befriend him and all the others here so that I might tell them about the beauty of pure love and chastity… but I got tired before I could begin.

Could anyone please, please… tell me where I can go and live in an environment that has at least some kind of Christian community that actually believes in their message? I am soooo tired of this place… I don’t want to live in a sectarian cave… but almost anything seems better than bringing up children here… Because of my passion I am afraid of getting a heart attack some day because I am often so upset by everything I see and hear.

Grace :nope:
 
I just have a minute to respond - just wanted to let you know I feel so sorry you have to live like this. I can get discouraged as well but I am not living in the conditions you are. It is really hard but press on! Pray for them is the best you can do. And change your living conditions if possible!
 
Reading your post makes me think whether you are not overreacting a bit? And if you think about it, first Christians, especially those in Rome, didn’t live in a very nice environment either. But I think that it would be good for you to find some prayer group or community - some people in my country (Poland) say lots of good things about Neocatechumenal Way for example - it might seem sectarian, but why not try something like that?

As for the place to run away, hey, I am in such a place right now (the Middle East) 😉
 
Danuska said:
Reading your post makes me think whether you are not overreacting a bit? And if you think about it, first Christians, especially those in Rome, didn’t live in a very nice environment either. But I think that it would be good for you to find some prayer group or community - some people in my country (Poland) say lots of good things about Neocatechumenal Way for example - it might seem sectarian, but why not try something like that?

As for the place to run away, hey, I am in such a place right now (the Middle East) 😉
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Hey Danuska.
Actually what I have written is true… The extremes of secularist society is just… something that leaves a person feelig helpless and broken and repulsed too often.
As I said I am an emotional and passionate person… I cant help it if I cry when I am forced to listen to unmarried peoples cries of pleasure while having sex in the next room.
I cant help but feeling desperate when I cant turn on the tv or walk down the streets without having to look at half way pronographic images …

If you have only ever lived in Poland and the Middle East I can honestly say you have no idea what it means to be living here in Denmark…

As for the Neocatechumnal… we dont have it here… or, yes, there is a small group far away in a forest. They live next to a convent out in the countryside and call themselves missionaries but I dont think there is any missionary activity going on though… and we could sure use it.
 
may I suggest you read and meditate on the Life of St. Benedict, who experienced what you describe in his day in Roman life, and reacted as you have. very instructive, then consider becoming an Oblate of St. Benedict and applying his Rule to your own daily life, it is how many of us cope.
 
Danuska said:
Reading your post makes me think whether you are not overreacting a bit? And if you think about it, first Christians, especially those in Rome, didn’t live in a very nice environment either. But I think that it would be good for you to find some prayer group or community - some people in my country (Poland) say lots of good things about Neocatechumenal Way for example - it might seem sectarian, but why not try something like that?

As for the place to run away, hey, I am in such a place right now (the Middle East) 😉
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I don’t think she is overreacting. I think some people, (maybe holier people, I don’t know) are more sensitive to sin and would feel this disgust at the godlessness of people, very deeply. Afterall, even little sins offend God. Certainly Our Blessed Mother would have felt this rejection of God in the depths of her soul.
Not that I presume to know the state of anyone’s soul.
To the OP, I would suggest moving if at all possible? Or maybe seek out an order of priests or nuns that may have a beautiful serene garden or chapel in which to pray.
Do they have Adoration anywhere near you? Going to visit Jesus is always peaceful and calming for the soul and you can pray for all these people as well. Sounds like you need a peaceful place to go.
 
It does sound as if you could use some Catholic fellowship!

Reach out, find a group where you can meet other Catholics.

Check with your Diocese for events or opportunities:

katolsk.dk/

Opus Dei is a worldwide group

opusdei.org/

We are not meant to go it alone - Catholics need other Catholics who are there, with skin on - the interent is not a substitute for a community of believers.
 
GraceDK said:
Could anyone help me? I don’t know if I am extraordinarily weak and sensitive but sometimes I just feel like I am going under by having to live here (Denmark, Europe).
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Hi Grace,

I’m a little to the South West, in London.

While at university in the past three years, I endured many things similar to those you encountered. In my case, the young woman having intercourse was paid to be the representative for our dorms. :rolleyes: :mad: That was the hardest night I have ever had to endure.

I spend the whole sermon waiting for the priest to urge the people to dress modestly, or go to Church during the week, or pray for more than 1 minute before a meal, and never hear it.

I heard people in my university classes talk about how they all got drunk the night before, and that in the club they were at a female stripper started (almost) masturbating in front of them. :banghead: :mad:

I saw another young lady in my dorms swear blind she would never drink again after vomiting for 24 hours, and then go out the next week again. 🤷

I had to listen to my colleagues talk about what drugs they were going to buy and possibly visit prostitutes for their coming trip to Amsterdam. 😦 :rolleyes:

On top of all of that, many of the professors at university were just the same, joking about getting drunk, and making lewd comments.

And I’m the kind of guy that gets emotional too. I have spent the last 3 months wondering whether or not, humanity has always been like this, and not coming up with an answer.

Why do I never see anyone else make the sign of the cross in public? Why have I almost never seen anyone pray or bless their food before they eat. Why did the studying priest at university dress in home clothes and seemingly not let on he was a priest? Why does my neighbour persist in his second marriage without an annulment and still come to Church every Sunday? Why didn’t my mother know the difference between the assumption and the ascension?

Why does my priest not say anything to the young women / girls who dress to Church like they are going to a nightclub? Why do the money collectors at Church chat through the consecration? Why did my bishop allow the young people to significantly change the mass on Youth Sunday? Why is my “leave it in God’s hands for now” response to “what will you do after university?” met with a cold stare, or a sarcastic smirk?

😦 Why is humanity so depraved?
 
Magicsilence said:
Hi Grace,

I’m a little to the South West, in London.

While at university in the past three years, I endured many things similar to those you encountered. In my case, the young woman having intercourse was paid to be the representative for our dorms. That was the hardest night I have ever had to endure.

I spend the whole sermon waiting for the priest to urge the people to dress modestly, or go to Church during the week, or pray for more than 1 minute before a meal, and never hear it.

I heard people in my university classes talk about how they all got drunk the night before, and that in the club they were at a female stripper started (almost) masturbating in front of them.

I saw another young lady in my dorms swear blind she would never drink again after vomiting for 24 hours, and then go out the next week again.

I had to listen to my colleagues talk about what drugs they were going to buy and possibly visit prostitutes for their coming trip to Amsterdam.

On top of all of that, many of the professors at university were just the same, joking about getting drunk, and making lewd comments.

And I’m the kind of guy that gets emotional too. I have spent the last 3 months wondering whether or not, humanity has always been like this, and not coming up with an answer.

Why do I never see anyone else make the sign of the cross in public? Why have I almost never seen anyone pray or bless their food before they eat. Why did the studying priest at university dress in home clothes and seemingly not let on he was a priest? Why does my neighbour persist in his second marriage without an annulment and still come to Church every Sunday? Why didn’t my mother know the difference between the assumption and the ascension?

Why does my priest not say anything to the young women / girls who dress to Church like they are going to a nightclub? Why do the money collectors at Church chat through the consecration? Why did my bishop allow the young people to significantly change the mass on Youth Sunday? Why is my “leave it in God’s hands for now” response to “what will you do after university?” met with a cold stare, or a sarcastic smirk?

😦 Why is humanity so depraved?
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Magic Silence…

Thanks brother! That was encouraging … sounds like you and I are in the same boat :hug1: Only the problems surrounding me are so big that I think a tangtop on a lady is a minimal problem… people in Denmark are somewhat like tribal people of the jungle… I dont think men, even Catholic ones here, have the same modesty sensitivity as other Christian men around the globe…

I know about the “worst night of my life feeling”… oh… yesterday when listening to my neighbour was far from the first time… Other times I was in my bed in the evening or on my knees praying when the sounds started :eek: I had to almost put my head between my legs and sing “The little Lamb of Jesus!” to keep out the sound… Another time I thought a woman was being raped and I ran to the door of that room - in another building even! - to check… but one of the neigbours came and said: “Nah… its Sam who lives in there… he’s a bit extreme… dont worry about it.” :eek:

… brother… I too talk about God at University as though they all should know Him. I mean why should I say “Excuse me but I believe in God” before saying “I will see where God takes me, I pray to Him for guidance”… and I have never had anyone tell me that I must be joking. They all just nod and dont show any expression … hehehe… 👍

But to the poster who said I need peace… and maybe I should go somewhere else… Yes, that is what I think too. How can I be a missionary in a pagan land if I am not first edified myself?
Unfortunately… there is not much fellowship in the Church in my city which is actually the biggest parish in Denmark. Even the priests and the parish counsel begged the laity to DO SOMETHING, anything!.. but the lethargy is a serious illness and nothing has happend… and in my view the people dont feel enflamed by God because no one actually preaches to them… Yes… the preaching is of infinite value! Words create… I have witnessed the truth of this in other churches…
Sunday after Sunday the laity sits there and listen to something they might as well listen to in the Parliament:( how we all should be nice to each other… but there are no demands… no direct questions… no talk of sins and repentance or renewed life in the power of the Holy Spirit… people dont even know there is MORE out there.

As for Adoration of the Sacrament… Its only exposed 1 hour in a whole month and in that hour there is also confession… 😦
I know I sound terrible for pointing out the poverty I experience… and a poverty and spiritual dryness I am becoming part off day by day too… I just really want to go somewhere where there is a LIVING CATHOLIC CHURCH …

Peace to you all…

Ps. I am not holy. Jesus is Holy. Jesus is in my heart and since He made Himself known to me a few years ago He has softened my heart so that I cant do, say, hear, or watch the things I used to back when I was a walking dead living in and off the world. Now it cuts my heart when I hear people blaspheme… when I see sins comitted against purity… and when I see sins comitted against the unity in the Body of Christ. That one I most seriously know comes the the Spirit of God in me… Praised be His Name…
Praised be Your Name Jesus…

Oh the wonderful name of J-E-S-U-S 🙂
 
GraceDK said:
Magic Silence…

Thanks brother! That was encouraging … sounds like you and I are in the same boat :hug1: Only the problems surrounding me are so big that I think a tangtop on a lady is a minimal problem… people in Denmark are somewhat like tribal people of the jungle… I dont think men, even Catholic ones here, have the same modesty sensitivity as other Christian men around the globe…

I know about the “worst night of my life feeling”… oh… yesterday when listening to my neighbour was far from the first time… Other times I was in my bed in the evening or on my knees praying when the sounds started :eek: I had to almost put my head between my legs and sing “The little Lamb of Jesus!” to keep out the sound… Another time I thought a woman was being raped and I ran to the door of that room - in another building even! - to check… but one of the neigbours came and said: “Nah… its Sam who lives in there… he’s a bit extreme… dont worry about it.” :eek:
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As if its normal, right? I suppose for them, it is. 🤷
But to the poster who said I need peace… and maybe I should go somewhere else… Yes, that is what I think too. How can I be a missionary in a pagan land if I am not first edified myself?
Unfortunately… there is not much fellowship in the Church in my city which is actually the biggest parish in Denmark. Even the priests and the parish counsel begged the laity to DO SOMETHING, anything!.. but the lethargy is a serious illness and nothing has happend… and in my view the people dont feel enflamed by God because no one actually preaches to them… Yes… the preaching is of infinite value! Words create… I have witnessed the truth of this in other churches…
Sunday after Sunday the laity sits there and listen to something they might as well listen to in the Parliament:( how we all should be nice to each other… but there are no demands… no direct questions… no talk of sins and repentance or renewed life in the power of the Holy Spirit… people dont even know there is MORE out there.
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This really gets me. It is the one point during the week when people are actually in the house of God, listening to a preacher, and everything is phrased to ‘not offend’. i.e

“It is a pity we don’t make more frequent use of the sacrament of confession, which is a channel through which God blesses our lives with grace”

When it should be more like

“God made man gave to the apostles the power to forgive sins, that we might be saved from hell, and being cut off from God forever. Use this sacrament, at least once a month, that you may live out your lives as Christians, with fear and trembling of the Lord, but learning to trust in His power of salvation.”
Ps. I am not holy. Jesus is Holy. Jesus is in my heart and since He made Himself known to me a few years ago He has softened my heart so that I cant do, say, hear, or watch the things I used to back when I was a walking dead living in and off the world. Now it cuts my heart when I hear people blaspheme… when I see sins comitted against purity… and when I see sins comitted against the unity in the Body of Christ.
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:yup: :amen:
 
Yeah MS…

But frequenting the Sacraments comes after you have understood what they are for and Who is in the “washing mashine” waiting for you. That is why preaching is absolutely a foundation to anything else that goes on in the parish and sacraments… yes, even the Eucharist… the Eucharist does not make a believer… the Eucharist was given to the apostles who had already seen Jesus and strove to follow Him. They listened to His Words first for three years and these words led to conviction, repentance and love for the Saviour … they had to realise their need of salvation before they could humble themselves and repent and accept Him…
But no one even teaches on the 10 commandments today… and if you ask a young Catholic today they may never have heard them nor lived by them but they still think they are going to heaven… Why wouldnt they go to heaven?.. did anyone preach to them with any urgency in their voice and message convincing them they might not make it to heaven ?
And the priests and pastors are the only ones who really have a great chance… the people are there… waiting and yawning and looking sleepy and thinking of Sunday lunch… Yet it takes only a half an hour for a man’s life to change… for his whole outlook on life to change. Words are that powerful! But it seems the Church has lost its vision… at least where I am…
… then it also takes only a moment for man to die…
 
GraceDK said:
Could anyone help me? I don’t know if I am extraordinarily weak and sensitive but sometimes I just feel like I am going under by having to live here (Denmark, Europe).

One day in my life: I read the morning news paper. For the third time in one weak an Arabic man has raped a Danish woman in “my back yard” in the early morning or middle of the day outside. I get the feeling I wanna run out, find the guy and cut of his you-know-what. I am filled with anger.

Then I sit here (I live in a university house), at my writing desk doing my work when my young neighbour has intercourse with her boyfriend next door and has a loud orgasm… I feel nailed to the spot and start weeping. For a long moment I want to die.
I escape from my room and run to the city. I nearly step in some puke from last night’s party as I get off the bus in the city.
Two times I see couples touch each other inappropriately on the open street.

As I get home I get yet another letter back from a politician as a response to a protest letter I send to the government last week when they suddenly made a new rule giving green light for women to bathe without covering their breasts in the public swimming halls… I am now called a “puritan” and a “spinster” by politicians elected by the people. I feel alone in my protesting since the rest of the Christian community here does not seem to care one bit about anything… and now I am at the mercy of foolish politicians who dont want to respond in a professional way to my appeal because I am far outnumbered anyway…

I go to Mass and get relieved somewhat by the peace and strength of Christ… but the newly ordained priest does not preach … he has a sermon alright but he dares not say anything that may disturb the people. That people are immodestly dressed and dont keep their children quiet are the least of our problems… John the baptist and Jesus preached “repentance to the forgiveness of sins”… as its written in my Bible… but I have hardly ever heard a priest preach about repentance from sins, let alone mention any of them.

Then I come home… enter the kitchen and hear another neighbour singing drinking songs about sex… only… he is not drunk but thinks this is funny and apparently it is… coz two girls are giggling… And I get sad that I did not have the strength to befriend him and all the others here so that I might tell them about the beauty of pure love and chastity… but I got tired before I could begin.

Could anyone please, please… tell me where I can go and live in an environment that has at least some kind of Christian community that actually believes in their message? I am soooo tired of this place… I don’t want to live in a sectarian cave… but almost anything seems better than bringing up children here… Because of my passion I am afraid of getting a heart attack some day because I am often so upset by everything I see and hear.

Grace :nope:
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I think you have a strong natural sense of what is right and what is wrong.

When people fling the words ‘prude’ and ‘puritan’ at you, it’s because they’re uncomfortable in their own sin. At least on some level.

Hang in there.
 
Grace,

I understand you… Maybe not fully, but I do. I live in Poland and suffice to say, the rest of Europe feels like a lost continent. You will find Christians there and some wonderful ones - also monuments of Christianity from mediaeval times or older, still maintained, but the secularisation is deep. People don’t get certain things. Some concepts are lost on them. The legacy of mediaeval Europe is there - just doesn’t seem to be in the people in any conscious way. The connection you’d expect from being scions of the same civilisation just doesn’t seem to be there. Unfortunately, the same is happening in Poland - although to a lesser extent and who knows, maybe the trend is reversing. Actually, things have improved. Officials in both the current and the previous government admit to Christianity and Christian values quite publicly. Christian initiatives are gaining more publicity. There’s less unfriendliness to be felt from opposing circles. So maybe things are improving…

It was hard to see where the rest of Europe is going (I’ve seen most of Europe over the time span from 1993 to 2007). I have little desire to leave Poland nowadays, actually. I was scared of the possibility of raising children in a Western European country. Omnipresent leftism and feminist (in the bad sense) agenda, pro-gay-rights agenda and contraception mentality everywhere. All freedom to Islam, Catholicism to the closet. Dare not say anything in public or you’ll be so thoroughly uncool (not like I care for myself, but my future children if I am to marry…). Not like everything’s good in Poland, but we don’t have that stuff here. You will be called prude for being Catholic, but people will stop once they see you actually care and it’s not just pretentious talk.

You probably don’t want to change your location, but I’m sure there are better places in Denmark than that and well, there are different countries too. You aren’t Danish, are you?
 
GraceDK:

Can you address the inappropriate behaviors with your neighbors?
Can you baffle your walls with foam or egg crates and cover them with sheets or blankets?
Can you move?
Why must you stay in Denmark at all?

People party around the world 24/7. They leave it to the rest of us to clean up after them on some level. I used to be the partier. Now I’m the clean-up woman. When this generation gets too old or sick to drink and carouse, there will be the next generation coming right up on its heels to experiment and adventure. It won’t ever stop.

Depravity may be outside of your soul, but you can control your interior life. Maybe you could set up a little altar or shrine in your home with a kneeler. Certainly they must have a botanical garden or river or some place there where you can meditate? (When I was in Denmark in 1977, the Little Mermaid had been removed from her perch for cleaning because of the vandalism. See? It never ends.)

When I see vomit in the gutter I see God reminding me to be grateful for 24 years of continuous sobriety. When I hear inappropriate sexual conduct next door, I’m incredibly grateful that I won’t be experiencing fear of pregnancy or some STD in another couple of weeks. It doesn’t matter if you feel outnumbered. There is no safety in numbers. This whole thing is about God and the individual. That’s a total of two. If you ask for knowledge of God’s will for you and the power to carry that out, the rest will fall into place. You’re not in the cesspool of Denmark by accident. It’s leading you somewhere. Somewhere up.

marietta
 
I’m with Marietta: it’s all about the right attitude, and Marietta makes a lot of very valid points!

And yes, WHY do you ‘have to’ live in Denmark, if it’s so bad? If you are 18 or over you CAN leave, you know…When life in my native Holland became too much, I left! It’s a free country, they won’t tie you down for trying to leave…

As for neighbours making love, married or not…it’s not really your ‘problem’, just turn the music up louder and don’t listen! My neighbours are co-habiting and we sometimes hear them, as I’m sure they sometimes hear US (we are married)…I make no judgement about them, and I expect them to make none about us: it’s none of their business what we get upto and vice versa! Sorry, but that’s how I feel about it!
 
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