...Just wondering

[ABC4E]

What do you do if you…seriously…do…not…like…a person? Like, everything they do upsets you? They upset you just by living in the same neighborhood? Just by being in the same room? Just by thinking about them? And they make you feel like you are always in the wrong, entirely in the wrong, even though you haven’t done anything on purpous, and they haven’t even said anything, and you don’t know what you’re supposed to have done? Somehow they just upset you for no reason? And you don’t understand it at all?

Well, I know normally you would avoid that person completely, or deal with them with politeness and courtesy and leave it there. But if your conscience is somehow telling you that you should be doing more for this person. What should you do? Forget them or pray to become a helpful part of their life?

Yes I do not like this. But I go to work every day and to sleep every night, and about my daily activities, always thinking of that one person who I have been irresponsible and unchristian towards. I do not like this at all. And it leaves me totally bewildered, because I know I did nothing deliberately and idk what I should do now. And something like this wouldn’t normally bother me anywhere near as much. I actually do not like the person, as described above, and it’s not like it’s bothering THEM. So do I forget them, pray them into my life, pray for guidance or what? Thanks

 

[CatofAlexandria]

It might help you to read “Story of a Soul” by St. Therese of Lisieux. She had frequent encounters with someone she just didn’t get along with, and dealt with it in her own “little way.” There’s also a film about her called “Therese.” It’s a great one to rent and watch for Lent.

 

[kage_ar]

You do what Jesus said to do - love your enemies, pray for those who are cruel to you, do good to them, sacrifice for them.

 

[EmeraldWings]

Prayer is always the first step…and should really be an every day thing anyways, pray for this person and for yourself for charity and patience,

love for others can be obtained simply on loving God, of course it’s a process that takes alot of prayer and meditation, but what you have to realize and contemplate on is how God loves these people, no matter how horrible they seem to us, God loves them and is in them, and Jesus died for all of us, especially those who sin very much, and i already know that you do not want to dislike or hurt this person, but when you are tempted to hatred or anger, recall your own offenses against God, and remember how you have hurt Him, and how God has always been patient with you and always forgave you when you came to Him in sorrow…
and then think of hell…how terrible hell is, i know you do not want this person to go to hell, and if it moves you to sorrow, then think of that often, and let it help you to love this person,

also take into consideration that everything happens for a reason, and each person, especially the difficult ones, God has brought us to for a reason, which could be simply to pray for them, or to speak with them, or to just be a good example for them,
of course God will also test you with people like them, He may test your patience, your kindness, your charity, your humility, or whatever else,

although i can’t promise you that the irritations will go away, but i can promise you, if you devout yourself, that you can turn those sufferings into joys,
simply by offering them up, when we accept our sufferings and do penances, we can save so many souls, and make reparation for our sins and the sins of others,
life here on earth is a trial, and a time of learning and choosing between God and creation, we will suffer no matter what, we can’t avoid our crosses, if we try to we just seem to get heavier ones, but when you embrace your cross and accept it, then your cross will become lighter because then Jesus will help you to carry it, but when we reject our cross and try to push it away, then it becomes heavy and more of a burden, because how can Jesus help us carry what we push away? there is nothing to support in that case…

the answer to your question is basically this,
pray for them, do not forget them because God is allowing them to be in your life this way, try to fight the feelings of hate or anger with them,
of course you don’t have to develop a relationship with them, but as long as they are in your life this way, you should take the opportunity to pray for them and be an example for them, and also use them(not to sound selfish) as an opportunity to practice your virtues and do penance…

also, this is something good to bring up with your priest or confessor, it’s good even in confession to bring up your venial sins and even those things you are only tempted to do, because by that God gives you the grace to better fight and overcome those things,
and it is important to practice and pray for your virtues, because just getting rid of your vices doesn’t really work…they need to be replaced with virtues…otherwise you leave an empty space their where your vice was, and then without something good to fill it up, something else bad can easily take it’s place…

i would suggest reading this -
tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/709/keywords/hoy+suffering/

alright, hope this helps, i will pray for you, tc.

 

[armalanon]

What do you do if you…seriously…do…not…like…a person?
I know what you mean
The problem is not with you there is nothing wrong with you ,you can’t feel guilty in the evening because you think you failed in your actions because you didn’t live the Gospel to the full.
If you go and take a look at the Gospel there you meet a God ,Man who met these people every day they wanted to wipe out the very existence of him go and look Mark 6 1:6 He ends up by saying he could’nt do miracles he had to leave because they didn’t except him in their lives he felt without respect even with his own kin .I used to be like you feeling guilty but I LEARNED I cant feel guilty because I BREATH or because am alive with a specail heart around people who won’t leave you alone.God want us to be healthy and for xure you are doing no good for your health by going through the day to find your fault God undrestands you because even him when he felt unwelcomed he gave them a word or too as they deserved
I wish you health and peace of mind and yes why not when we go to confesion yes we confess these SO THAT WE CAN ALWAYS KEEP A LOVING HEART but we have to stop feeling guilty because we are HUMAN and we react only when we are pushed

 

[Kathrin]

Just the fact that you want to pray for this person shows that you have a kind and loving and willing heart .
I am also somebody who tries to like everybody.
Why do you think you have to especially help this one particular person? Just curious. Out of a feeling of guilt, because you are not sure you love them right?

Pray; prayer is always good. pray for that person and for yourself to deal with them lovingly.

When you pray for them you already HAVE become a helpful part of their lives.

Kathrin