Kama Sutra???

[Inwe86]

Okay, I need some sound Catholic advice here. I just found out that my current boyfriend studied Kama Sutra in the past.

He hasn’t had sex in 6 months because he finally made a commitment to saving himself for the right girl and getting married, which is great.

He says he wants to use Kama Sutra in his future marriage though. Is this something I need to be concerned about? He does understand that sex is about giving yourself to another person, not about personal pleasure, which is very good. His wording was basically, “I want to make my wife as happy as possible.”

I should also add that he has just started practicing his Faith again in the past 6 months after a long absense, so I don’t think he’s as on top of his game regarding what the Church teaches, but he is trying and learning.

Thoughts?

 

[Joe_5859]

I don’t think you need to dump him immediately or anything, but I would recommend being very cautious moving forward. It is wonderful that he has made the decision to save himself and has rededicated himself to the faith. But six months is not that long of a time. Depending upon how entrenched he was in that lifestyle, it may take him a good deal more time to free himself from that baggage entirely. On the other hand, he may have had a St. Paul kind of moment where (through the grace of God) he was instantly and completely freed from those past trappings.

The fact that he studied that in the past may indicate he has issues to work through (if he hasn’t already). If he was currently studying it, that would probably be your sign to turn and run away!

In any event, perhaps he might benefit from reading some Catholic books, such as “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West, or John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body.” Such works are helpful antidotes to the type of views on sexuality that are so prevalent in our society.

 

[Inwe86]

Thanks for your reply, Joe. Yeah, I was thinking about recommending some good Catholic books on sex to him. I’m certainly not going to rush into anything with him, so I’ll have enough time to see whether he really is committing himself to his faith or not.

 

[allenirvan]

To me this falls in the same line as practicing yoga and meditation. Yoga is great for the body, meditation is the basis of many Catholic devotions. Sex is supposed to be a spiritual experience which is something the Kama Sutra certainly recognizes. Many aspects of the Kama Sutra are about getting rid of selfishness and greed and instead taking on a mindset of giving to your spouse. The only issue I can see with it is that if someone were interested in enhancing their marital acts by practicing the Kama Sutra, they would first and foremost need to keep a Christian mindset about the act and be sure to fall within the Church’s rules about properly finishing the act or consummating the marriage. I understand Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” is a an excellent Christian resource for anyone wishing to more fully understand the relationships that exist between their body, sex, their soul, the Holy Spirit, the Sacrament of Marriage, and their spouse.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

To me this falls in the same line as practicing yoga and meditation. Yoga is great for the body, meditation is the basis of many Catholic devotions. Sex is supposed to be a spiritual experience which is something the Kama Sutra certainly recognizes. Many aspects of the Kama Sutra are about getting rid of selfishness and greed and instead taking on a mindset of giving to your spouse. The only issue I can see with it is that if someone were interested in enhancing their marital acts by practicing the Kama Sutra, they would first and foremost need to keep a Christian mindset about the act and be sure to fall within the Church’s rules about properly finishing the act or consummating the marriage. I understand Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” is a an excellent Christian resource for anyone wishing to more fully understand the relationships that exist between their body, sex, their soul, the Holy Spirit, the Sacrament of Marriage, and their spouse.

I completely agree with this. As a married person I will admit that hubby and I got a kama sutra book that focused on positions about a year after we were married. To be perfectly blunt, we were virgins when we got married. After a year, we had no idea about how to explore or enhance anything, and to be honest, sex wasn’t the most pleasurable for me. So we picked up a very PG book on Kama Sutra that shows positions in the form of colored silhouettes with no anatomy showing. It has been helpful for us to understand the…ah…mechanics and given us the language to explain why certain things don’t feel the greatest, and find things that work for us.

Kama Sutra in and of itself isn’t wrong. Using it for pagan practices (using sex to reach for the higher power, or experience a spiritual awakening with the divine) or outside of the marital act is inappropriate. I will also voice a warning about learning it yourself. It’s pretty rare to find a book that has appropriate images or diagrams. We got ours based on the reccomendation of christian friends who were equally committed to chastity.

It sounds like this guy is honestly trying to live for God. This is awesome. Encourage him in his walk to Christ, and use your discernment. Remember: we are all working out our own salvation with fear and trembling!