Keep secret from boyfriend?

[Black_Jaque]

i’ve known both men and women who were involved in abusive situation. in all of them, the precursor to the abuse was controlling behavior and verbal abuse.

This is a fallacy in inductive reasoning. To judge a larger group based on a characteristic of a smaller group. That’s like saying since all rapists are men, then all men are rapists.

So yes it may indeed be true that every physical abuser starts out verbally abusing. But that does not mean that every verbal abuser will end up physically abusing.

I would say the boyfriend’s behavior in and of itself is sufficient to break off the relationship, properly weighed against any redeeming qualities he may have. There’s no need to extrapolate this into a fear of physical abuse.

 

[chevalier]

Promises are meant to be kept. Unless the secret is harmful or the person asking has some right to know, it needs to remain hidden.

If a girlfriend insisted on my breaking for her a promise of secrecy to another person, I would break up with her. More likely, she wouldn’t have become my girlfriend in the first place.

I also believe that even marriage doesn’t give the right to demand to know other people’s secrets. Especially for one’s own satisfaction of gaining the knowledge or the morbid satisfaction of having the power to extract such confessions from the loved one.

The boyfriend has something to think about.