Keeping calm when discussing

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Montie_Claunch

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I have noticed in religious discussions (at least ones I have taken part in) there is a lot of accusation throwing going on. “Catholics don’t follow the bible.” Catholics Worship Mary" “Catholics beleive God is dead (actually acusation I have heard)” ect. I was wondering, I think that it is an attempt to get under our skin and make us mad to where we loose our temper so they can point and show how violent and evil Catholicism really is, How could I best keep my calm under such a situation? Thanks and God bless.
 
The best I can say is relax, resist the urge to respond right away, and go have a nice, cool drink or a walk.

Nowadays practically nothing gets to me, save for out and out rudeness. Which I usually laugh off .
 
Montie, I can only speak for my self, but for some reason when in a discussion about religion, I have so much emotional restraint that it amazes me. I have sworn for years that it is the work of the Holy Spirit, somehow protecting me from losing my cool and letting the person absorb some truth. I still always walk away saying I wish I would have said this or that. Actually my worst outbursts have been on these forums.

May God bless and protect us,
JLC
 
You are absolutely right M.C.

The titles on some of these threads hasten my pulse. It deeply affects me to read some of them.

Thank you for your words of wisdom.

Jesus meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like unto Thine.👍
 
Great point, MC! 👍 I used to get all worked up over people baiting us or being offensive, but I try to see it as an opportunity to show Christian charity. So, I answer the question anyway for the sake of lurkers and seekers, many of whom care more about the tone of our responses than the actual content. 😉
 
My problem is that I can’t come up with something fast enough. (I’m terrible at debates and discussions)
 
Montie,

Recognizing it as an attempt to rile you because they don’t have any logical responses is half the battle right there.
  • Liberian
 
Liberian said:
Montie,

Recognizing it as an attempt to rile you because they don’t have any logical responses is half the battle right there.
  • Liberian
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Thats just it, many protestants dont even realize it but once they start to lose a debate or dont know what to say they play the anti-C cards as an escape hatch.

And I agree with Montie that they count on us losing our cool so they can change the issue to a personal attack and not address the debate/discussion topic.
 
I have to just bypass some threads, the titles are usually dead give-aways. It seems that some nights I am more discerning than others!😉

I have seen some clever posters recently who start out trying to appear genuine and loving (like gentle little doves 😛 ) and wanting real answers to real questions concerning the Catholic faith, and halfway through the thread the daggers come out :bigyikes: and they show their true colors.

This is a real form of deception, and lying doesn’t come from the Spirit of God. These people need to think about what their “mission” is really all about and who it’s coming from.
 
Della said:
Great point, MC! 👍 I used to get all worked up over people baiting us or being offensive, but I try to see it as an opportunity to show Christian charity. So, I answer the question anyway for the sake of lurkers and seekers, many of whom care more about the tone of our responses than the actual content. 😉
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That is so true! We never know who is “watching,” and if we present ourselves in a Christlike way onlookers/listeners will be much more likely to pay attention to *what *we’re saying. I’m reminded of a quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln, “A drop of honey will attract more flies than a gallon of gall”
 
It’s true that this is most often a tactic used to rattle your cage & confidence. One good way to handle it is to tell them straight off that if they depart from the topic they begin with the discussion will end and you will walk away. This makes it plain that you will not allow the “scattergun” stunt of throwing rapid-fire assertions out without waiting to finish the discussion of the first one.

In online forums, it’s easy to do because you simply point out that it is off-topic and that they are welcome to create a thread for it and you’ll discuss it but refuse to undertake it in the current thread. Fortunately, the Mods on most good forums will also intervene to reinforce that. If not, it’s not a very good forum. Be somewhere else.

In person, just breathe slowly and maintain a prayerful attitude like “Give me the right words and wisdom O Lord.” (Luke 21:15)

Understand that this is most often the person(s) idea of “witnessing” to you, to argue you down, not allow you to properly respond, offer offensive and inflammatory remarks, and unless you fall on your knees and “accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior”, they don’t really give a rip about Christian charity or common civility. The harsh truth is that it’s an ego-feed for the carnal Christian nad it makes them feel like hotshots to tell themselves you couldn’t answer. (I’ve had it happen to me several times.)

My favorite response is often to just remain silent until I have their attention and simply say. “I have answers for every one of these things, but you don’t seem to be interested in discussing anything so when you decide you are, come find me and I’ll deal with anything you have one topic at a time. Until then…goodbye.” And just calmly turn on your heel and walk away (ignoring anything said that you might overhear). Do not return to the discussion because you want to make it very plain that they have blown their “witness” with you, and lost their chance for now.

Then pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet for them and wait for your next chance to share your faith. One thing you have to remember is that we are under no compulsion to accept rude and uncharitable behavior, (any more than that excuses us to respond in kind…).
Pax tecum,
 
As the rule goes: the first person to lose their cool is the one who looses the argument.

Many times discussion about faith and morals brings out the worst in each of us. This is because our passions are disordered and these emotions take over for our reason. I think that this is for two reasons. First, I believe that our faith is so tied into the very nature of our being and the persons who we are that an assault against our faith is equated to an assault against us as an individual. Secondly, I think that the less informed about our faith we are the greater amount of fear we have about expressing our faith in a clear and accurate way and so this fear turns causes a sort of “fight or flight” reaction in us.

From this our solutions are clear. First, we must learn the virtue of disinterestedness so that we can always present the faith in a way that is without emotional vigor. Second, we must learn the virtue of studiousness in learning the faith. Understanding the faith in all its beautiful nuance is not out of the grasp of any who make the effort. However, we must make the effort to read and pray and absorb the beauty that is the faith as rationally presented. Third we must have courage. Fear is the root of many evil things and an efficient tool of the Devil. With this in mind we must trust the promise of Jesus that He will speak through us if we allow Him when we make a defense in favor of the faith.

I do not think that people of other faiths deliberately try to arouse our passions in these types of discussions in order to cause internal confusion and doubt. Rather, I think that it is more a result of their own frustration in having to justify their own position of not being Catholic - even if it be on a subconscious level. This tugging of guilt and conscious in their own heart causes malice and disorder in themselves in order to protect their own decision to be anything but a catholic.

Instead of fighting an apologetic battle with a person of another faith it is always the better course to take the role of the teacher - the midwife and use the opportunity to explain the whys of the faith. So for instance if a person makes the claim “Catholics worship Mary” instead of saying in response “No we don’t and here is why …” it is better to take it on the cheek and respond with kind humility in saying “Why do you think that?” and from there make the moment an opportunity for education. So, in time the questions from the other will cease to be accusatory question but rather they will come to you with a question. This Socratic method gives a person a bit of the truth little by little until their own heart cannot avoid the truth of the faith and by the grace of God another soul is won for the kingdom of God not by our bombarding them with facts and disputations but by the kind hand of a teacher to his student.
 
Yes I agree as well. There are some threads I stay away from. Isnt sad though that a thread can start out as an innocent question and other posters turn it into an argument:mad: I have had that happen to my threads. I politely remind them of the topic or forwarn I do not want a debate just my question answered.

I pray for God to keep my fingers from typing. Those of you who know me know that I do not like to argue,fight or be mean. That is not being Christ-like. Sometimes I even tell God “KEEP ME FROM WRITING THAT IT IS NOT NICE” It works every time:D I have even typed a post and then reread it and challenged my motives and then deleted it because it was far less then charitable.😦
Anyway, just my :twocents:

Peace
 
Good Morning All…

I agree. It happens on both sides too. I have seen some pretty rough stuff said on a lot of forums from catholics to protestants too. Even seen it here. Sometimes it does get frustrating and sometimes I say a silent prayer for that person or an open one on the thread itself. Also remember that when a person brings up something that seems totally off and untrue regarding your faith they may not be doing it to rattle your cage but this is something THEY TRULY BELIEVE. Pray for love and understanding and even if it’s for the 100th time you’ve stated it and it’s the 100th time they’ve heard it God just may use that time to soften their hearts and speak to them. I try to remember that this response I give this person could be the make or break of whether they believe what they have heard about my Faith or they turn their back because of the hatred in my post or words. Seek to speak to those who apose your Faith with love and with words from Christ Himself. It’s the only way that catholics and protestants can end this silly and ridiculous ‘war’ that has been going on for WAY too long!

P.S. Could you imagine how this world would be if protestants and catholics would stop their bickering and join forces to bring people into Christ’s arms? AMAZING. Let people choose which path to take but just bring them Christ’s Love… To only hope…
 
Montie_Claunch said:
I have noticed in religious discussions (at least ones I have taken part in) there is a lot of accusation throwing going on. “Catholics don’t follow the bible.” Catholics Worship Mary" “Catholics beleive God is dead (actually acusation I have heard)” ect. I was wondering, I think that it is an attempt to get under our skin and make us mad to where we loose our temper so they can point and show how violent and evil Catholicism really is, How could I best keep my calm under such a situation? Thanks and God bless.
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I would say that until you are able to step back and restrain this in yourself, you should not engage in discussions with these people. Write yourself a brief script: “Catholics hear that a lot. I don’t know where people get such crazy ideas.” Then walk away.
 
Montie_Claunch said:
I have noticed in religious discussions (at least ones I have taken part in) there is a lot of accusation throwing going on. “Catholics don’t follow the bible.” Catholics Worship Mary" “Catholics beleive God is dead (actually acusation I have heard)” ect. I was wondering, I think that it is an attempt to get under our skin and make us mad to where we loose our temper so they can point and show how violent and evil Catholicism really is, How could I best keep my calm under such a situation? Thanks and God bless.
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I think that non-Catholics engage in these discussions for various reasons and have various motives. Sometimes, it is an honest attempt to understand, if not accept, the Catholic position on an issue. Sometimes it is a question by someone who is seeking, who is truly considering the Catholic faith, and there is something that bothers them or that they don’t understand. Sometimes it is an attempt to convince Catholics that they are wrong on a particular issue. Sometimes it is a challenge to engage in an interesting and enjoyable debate. Sometimes, as you suggest, it is malicious and is aimed at annoying Catholic posters. So, as mentioned, you just need to keep your cool and try to discern which of these, or other, motivations is at work. The proper response would be dictated by the particular facts.

Also though, remember that this is a two way street. At times, what you complain of in your OP comes from the Catholic side as well. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander you know.
 
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