Keeping Maiden Name

[leptir]

i’ve read the numerous posts about keeping ones maiden name…i’m in the same situation…i wanted to keep my maiden name, but my fiance really didn’t like the idea…he feels as though it creates a separation between us or we’re not united as one…but i’d like to keep it for professional reasons (i’m an attorney). so our agreement was that i’d make my maiden name (i.e. smith) my middle name since i don’t have a maiden name and take his last name (i.e. jones) so then i’d become Jane Smith Jones or Jane S. Jones. I wouldn’t really write out smith too often or only when asked. Now, for those that have made their maiden names their middle names, how do you sign your name? what consequences does this pose or anything else you can offer as advice? I presented this compromise to my family and they went through the roof!!! they were not pleased at all…i know i’m creating a life w/ my fiance and we should do what is best for the two of us, but its difficult when your family plays such an important role in your life. They feel as though since I was a Smith while going through law school, I should keep smith jones in the professional world, but how many people sign their names using their middle name??? (i.e jane smith jones)

any advice/(name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

[Timidity]

leptir:

i wanted to keep my maiden name, but my fiance really didn’t like the idea…he feels as though it creates a separation between us or we’re not united as one…but i’d like to keep it for professional reasons (i’m an attorney)…
any advice/(name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated!!!

Another possibility is for him to change his last name to yours. Then you get what you want (to keep your name for professional reasons), he gets what he wants (no name separation), and your family is happy too!

It’s rare, but not unheard of.

 

[puzzleannie]

Meghan:

I was wondering if anyone might know if the tradition of a bride changing her name is just tradition or if there is something in the scriptures or Catechism that addresses this issue specifically??

this is a cultural thing, not a religious thing. The baptismal certificates I see from Mexico combine the last names of both father and mother, so when they are enrolled in school or CCD here I have to ask which name they go by (95% of the time it is the father’s name).

the practice in my own family (English and German heritage) is for the wife to use her maiden name as her middle name after marriage. also the firstborn son has his mother’s maiden name as either a first name or middle name. John Smith marries Susan Brown and she is legally known as Susan Brown Smith, their son is named John Brown Smith. (no hyphens)

sorry did not realize this was an old thread which I have already answered, did not mean to be redundant

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

Grayton:

The tradition in many Western countries has been for the wife to adopt her husband’s surname, but it is only a tradition. As I understand it, in Mexico, a man is known by two last names, the latter of which is his mother’s. (If anyone has better information, please feel free to correct me.)

People should do whatever they are comfortable doing.

I can think of at least two good reasons for one spouse or the other to adopt a common surname, at least socially: (1) it expresses unity; and (2) hyphenation of surnames only postpones the decision making to the next generation. If Miss Alice Jones-Smith marries Mr. Harry Johnson-Cleaver, they have quite a choice to make.

In many hispanic countries children carry both parents last names. Eg, John Smith and Jane Doe marry and have little Bobby, he is Bobby Smith Doe. It helps distinguish him from another Bobby Smith whose mother’s maiden name was Brown (Bobby Smith Brown).
Anyways, I took my husbands last name, because to me it was like telling him I’m all his. I have heard people say they want to keep their maiden name in case of a divorce or for “feminist/ I don’t want to submit to my husband” reasons. But each case is different I believe. I just wanted to make clear that I do want to submit to my husband, so I changed mine (btw, I am not saying that those who do not change aren’t, in my case I felt that way).

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

leptir:

i’ve read the numerous posts about keeping ones maiden name…i’m in the same situation…i wanted to keep my maiden name, but my fiance really didn’t like the idea…he feels as though it creates a separation between us or we’re not united as one…but i’d like to keep it for professional reasons (i’m an attorney). so our agreement was that i’d make my maiden name (i.e. smith) my middle name since i don’t have a maiden name and take his last name (i.e. jones) so then i’d become Jane Smith Jones or Jane S. Jones. I wouldn’t really write out smith too often or only when asked. Now, for those that have made their maiden names their middle names, how do you sign your name? what consequences does this pose or anything else you can offer as advice? I presented this compromise to my family and they went through the roof!!! they were not pleased at all…i know i’m creating a life w/ my fiance and we should do what is best for the two of us, but its difficult when your family plays such an important role in your life. They feel as though since I was a Smith while going through law school, I should keep smith jones in the professional world, but how many people sign their names using their middle name??? (i.e jane smith jones)

any advice/(name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated!!!

I have two middle names, my original and my maiden name. No problems so far.

 

[Michelle_in_KC]

OhioBob:

When my wife and I were married, she had her “legal” middle name changed to her maiden name. Now she has both names without being hyphenated. I thought that was an interesting approach. Neither right nor wrong. Just thought I would share another opinion.

Blessings.

That is also what I did. So legally my middle name is now my maiden name and I took my husband’s name.

 

[Michelle_in_KC]

leptir:

i’ve read the numerous posts about keeping ones maiden name…i’m in the same situation…i wanted to keep my maiden name, but my fiance really didn’t like the idea…he feels as though it creates a separation between us or we’re not united as one…but i’d like to keep it for professional reasons (i’m an attorney). so our agreement was that i’d make my maiden name (i.e. smith) my middle name since i don’t have a maiden name and take his last name (i.e. jones) so then i’d become Jane Smith Jones or Jane S. Jones. I wouldn’t really write out smith too often or only when asked. Now, for those that have made their maiden names their middle names, how do you sign your name? what consequences does this pose or anything else you can offer as advice? I presented this compromise to my family and they went through the roof!!! they were not pleased at all…i know i’m creating a life w/ my fiance and we should do what is best for the two of us, but its difficult when your family plays such an important role in your life. They feel as though since I was a Smith while going through law school, I should keep smith jones in the professional world, but how many people sign their names using their middle name??? (i.e jane smith jones)

any advice/(name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated!!!

I just sign my first and last name with no initial or anything. So, I sign my name usually “Jane Jones” instead of “Jane S. Jones” or “Jane Smith Jones.”

Only on my mortgage papers did I sign with the middle initial since they used it in drawing up the papers.