Keeping secrets from spouse

[Youngcop2234]

I have Chewed tobacco off and on for many years before I met my wife. It has been something that I have a hard time quitting and become very irritable and short due to cravings. My wife is not a fan of it and she would rather me not do it. There are things in our relationship as there are every relationship that we would rather our partner not do. As long as it is something isn’t affecting our relationship or our fidelity or finances I don’t see where it would be my place to tell her what to do. My question is if I were to continue chewing tobacco and keep it as a secret from her to not upset her would that be a sin? If she were to ask me a pointed question about it I obviously would not lie and admit to it and deal with the consequences then.

 

[1ke]

As long as it is something isn’t affecting our relationship or our fidelity or finances I don’t see where it would be my place to tell her what to do. My question is if I were to continue chewing tobacco and keep it as a secret from her to not upset her would that be a sin?

But this IS something that impacts the family, potentially in deadly ways. Chewing tobacco can and does cause cancer. That could emotionally, physically, and financially devastate your household.

It most certainly affects your relationship.

She is concerned for your well being, and also chewing tobacco is a major turn-off to women as far as intimacy goes. From experience: YUCK.

I would encourage you to speak to your doctor about finding a way to quit this addictive and dangerous habit.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

First of all, your wife may be able to tell you’ve been doing this behind her back by various physical signs.

Second, you’re putting yourself at risk for some pretty gross cancers. Do you really want to put your wife through the hell of seeing you suffer that way, and risk leaving her alone, for an illness that you could have prevented?

Third, if this were something you were doing once a year when you got together with your old buddy to go fishing and your wife wasn’t around, I might write it off as being a small health risk but hey it’s once a year and doesn’t affect your fidelity or finances, etc. But it sounds like you actually have an addiction to it. In that case it is affecting your finances on a daily basis (that money you’re spending on your habit could be spent on something else) and you are also having to hide your “habit” from your wife on a daily basis, and the risk to your health is much greater.

Your wife has your best interests at heart. Find a way to break this habit. If you did it “off and on” then obviously you have managed to stay “off” at some point in the past, and you won’t die if you go “off” it again. Good luck. I am right now working on my sugar addiction (again, still) so I am in the same boat with you.

 

[anikins]

As long as it is something isn’t affecting our relationship or our fidelity or finances I don’t see where it would be my place to tell her what to do.

But apparently you’re allowed to get away with it and not her? Chewing tobacco does affect your relationship and fidelity. You’re lying to your wife. You’re breaking trust. Tobacco also dips into your finances. What will happen to your wife when you die of mouth cancer? It’s clear you are only thinking of yourself and not your relationship.

Yes this is a sin.

Get help. Good luck.

 

[pianistclare]

She knows, trust me.
Quit See your physician for help, and pray for strength.
If you love your family, quit this deadly addiction.