I am thinking maybe he forgot to include the word “not” (as in “you’d not be deliberately intending to forget something”).
No, I actually meant it as I wrote it, although it probably takes some explaining.
The idea in confession is to admit one’s wrongdoings in order to make amends with the help of God’s grace, so you can remedy those sins and the misery that accompanies them. It’s important to note with the help of God’s grace, since we can’t leave God out. The sacrament essentially confers God’s grace; then the penances work in tandem with the grace to mend the relationships severed by the sinful act.
Suppose, then, I had an argument with my Sister, and I called her “raqa”. Then - before I get a chance to go to confession - I make up with her, and we’re all good.
Well, I may be okay with my Sister, and she may be okay with me… and maybe it was by God’s grace we made amends before I got to go to confession… but there’s still the matter of actually telling God I did something wrong… The point I was trying to make is, I would still confess it, but I wouldn’t necessarily go overboard by scrupulously micromanaging every last little point in the confessional…
Still, one might ask, “Why not? Wouldn’t it be a great time to talk about it?”
I say it’s probably better to let it go.
Rehashing bad stuff in order to make it better is a “technique” that became popularized by Freud’s psychology. But it is not the purpose of the confessional, nor how the confessional works.
It’s through placing faith in God’s grace one can amend relations with God and man. If God’s grace is before us, and we proactively use it to make amends ourselves, then one need not take it apart “so much” in order to fix it again. Actually, if one is proactively acting upon simple graces to make amends, then that grace is already the solution right there. There is then no need to question it. No need to redesign the wheel. The solution is simple: place faith in God’s grace. So it almost becomes as if there is less and less to confess. That is looking positively at living the virtues; not negatively at the wasted spiritual trash of sin.
At that point, a simple acknowledgment with an apology would seem to be more in order, so people can continue to move forward. It let’s people, including the Priest, advance in charity without getting drug down and stuck in past guilt and misery, which in confession ultimately one hopes to be forgiven one way or another anyway.
