Keeping your kids Catholic

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I know it is impossible to “keep” kids Catholic once they are grown up. We can only control ourselves, not our grown children. But my question is, what are some ways we as parents can increase the chances that our kids will remain in the Catholic faith once they have left our nest?

My husband and I are giving a talk on this topic, and while we have it mostly prepared, I’d like to get (name removed by moderator)ut from the good people here. Please share your ideas with me! And thanks in advance. 👍
 
This is what we do, so far it is working. 😛

We say morning prayers together every week day–we use The Magnificat which has modified daily prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours. During the summer when we have more time we say the rosary together. During the school year we say it as often as we can as a family, but it isn’t daily.

We say evening prayers together every night. Often I read from a Saint’s life or a reading from the Holy Bible, usually we have a novena going or specific prayer intentions, then we say the same set night prayers.

We have been praying this way for years, since the kids were very little. They particularly love evening prayers because we discuss our day then too and form prayer intentions for their friends, events in the world, things happening at our jobs, etc. This then ties into our prayers and makes their faith more ‘real’ to them.

We talk about our faith all the time and tie in life lessons to what the Church teaches also. We also like to go on ‘pilgramages’ and will visit other churches for special Masses or events. Since we live close to Washington DC, we regularly go to the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception which is a beautiful church!

Of course, we attend Mass as a family and ds is also an altar boy.
 
This is what we do, so far it is working. 😛

We say morning prayers together every week day–we use The Magnificat which has modified daily prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours. During the summer when we have more time we say the rosary together. During the school year we say it as often as we can as a family, but it isn’t daily.

We say evening prayers together every night. Often I read from a Saint’s life or a reading from the Holy Bible, usually we have a novena going or specific prayer intentions, then we say the same set night prayers.

We have been praying this way for years, since the kids were very little. They particularly love evening prayers because we discuss our day then too and form prayer intentions for their friends, events in the world, things happening at our jobs, etc. This then ties into our prayers and makes their faith more ‘real’ to them.

We talk about our faith all the time and tie in life lessons to what the Church teaches also. We also like to go on ‘pilgramages’ and will visit other churches for special Masses or events. Since we live close to Washington DC, we regularly go to the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception which is a beautiful church!

Of course, we attend Mass as a family and ds is also an altar boy.
Excellent advice! Family prayer is so important, and was a part of daily life from the time our girls were little. We also sent them to a good Catholic school, talked about the faith and how it pertains to everyday life (moral issues), made sure that they knew good priests, and simply made the Catholic faith central to our lives. When we would travel, we always made sure to find a church for Mass.

Living your own faith is the best teacher.
 
This is what we do, so far it is working. 😛

We say morning prayers together every week day–we use The Magnificat which has modified daily prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours. During the summer when we have more time we say the rosary together. During the school year we say it as often as we can as a family, but it isn’t daily.

We say evening prayers together every night. Often I read from a Saint’s life or a reading from the Holy Bible, usually we have a novena going or specific prayer intentions, then we say the same set night prayers.

We have been praying this way for years, since the kids were very little. They particularly love evening prayers because we discuss our day then too and form prayer intentions for their friends, events in the world, things happening at our jobs, etc. This then ties into our prayers and makes their faith more ‘real’ to them.

We talk about our faith all the time and tie in life lessons to what the Church teaches also. We also like to go on ‘pilgramages’ and will visit other churches for special Masses or events. Since we live close to Washington DC, we regularly go to the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception which is a beautiful church!

Of course, we attend Mass as a family and ds is also an altar boy.
This was my parents game plan. Most family trips included trips to a local shrine. Did not always like it growing up. But we’re all still with the church. So, it worked.

PEACE
 
It is my sincere desire that my children know the love of Jesus in their lives always…it is also my desire that they know his Catholic Church. One thing I am doing, especailly with older ds who is 15 is be sure and talk to him about Church history…for example ; how we can trace the beginings of our Church back to Christ and our first Bishop of Rome-Our first" Pope"-Peter. We also talk about how there are others who beleive that we Catholics are not Christians and explain why they are misguided. It is no secret that many of our youth lose their faith in College as others may try to sway them and challenge their faith, by arming him if you will to be prepared for these attacks on his faith and be able to defend it. I am hopeful he won’t go looking elsewhere for the truth…as he already will have it and know it.
 
I’m 29. Cradle Catholic. Catholc schools, never missed mass, altar boy, you name it.

When I was in my early 20’s, I became almost obsessed with learning about other Christian faiths. I wanted to make sure that the Catholic church was the “true” one. I wanted to make an independant choice on my own.

Tell you the truth, I still struggle with it all the time. Some Protestant books (not Anti-Catholic, just books that pro sola scriptura) make alot of sense.

My big thing was moving closer and closer to what Christ was calling me.

The one thing NOT TO DO is to shriek, yell, scream, and throw prayer cards at them. Nothing tuned me off more then my mom doing that (aside from the throwing prayer card thing) She nagged me in emails, said that I didn’t have a “deep faith” (and that really bothered me, still does. You can have a deep faith and not be Catholic)

The best thing to do is listen and ask them questions. Never lose your cool. You decided that they would be raised Catholic. Now, they must decide for themself.
 
Well, there are things you can do like include them into family prayers, encourage them to go to Mass without being told. I think religious camps and youth groups help a lot as far as breaking down their walls, because they are surrounded by other teens and youth for one reason, the Catholic faith. Being a teen is tough today. You’re constantly worried about you’re personal image and your stereo type and too many, being Catholic isn’t part of that image. So that religious camps help with that. In the end though, the choice is thier’s. Whatever you do, don’t force it; you can’t fulfill their Sunday obligations, confessions, or personal choices, only they can do that.
 
It is my sincere desire that my children know the love of Jesus in their lives always…it is also my desire that they know his Catholic Church. One thing I am doing, especailly with older ds who is 15 is be sure and talk to him about Church history…for example ; how we can trace the beginings of our Church back to Christ and our first Bishop of Rome-Our first" Pope"-Peter. We also talk about how there are others who beleive that we Catholics are not Christians and explain why they are misguided. It is no secret that many of our youth lose their faith in College as others may try to sway them and challenge their faith, by arming him if you will to be prepared for these attacks on his faith and be able to defend it. I am hopeful he won’t go looking elsewhere for the truth…as he already will have it and know it.
Yes, it is important that we explain the ‘why’ to our kids and not just the ‘what’. As you say many protestant denominations spend lots of time and attention teaching their children to ‘evangalize’ which unfortunately often means bringing a Christian from another denomination to theirs. And certainly the indolence of the atheistic/unchurched they will met can be very tempting. Why get up to go to Mass or miss and Saturday evening event to go to Mass, when you aren’t really sure why you are there. Sloth is a very, very old sin and takes strength of will to combat it.

I will also add that it is very important that we pray for our children and that they know we do. Pray every day that they will stay inside God’s grace and perfect will for them.
 
Living your faith is very important.

I’d also suggest a book (out of print, you can find it used at Amazon or other on line used book sources) “Converting the Baptized”.

From the work I’ve done with teens, they also need to have learned from a young age Scripture, Scriptural Apologetics, Church History. We are in a very protestant area, these kids are surrounded by evangelical protestant kids who KNOW the Bible, who can confuse a Catholic teen into doubting the Faith because of this knowledge.

If Catholic kids know why they believe what they believe and what the Church actually teaches, when they know where to go to find the official resources and how the Bible works (believe me, I have seen high school kids who cannot find the book of Matthew :eek:), they will be better prepared and better rooted. Our son has had his own copy of the Catechism since Jr High. He uses it as a resource in discussions with his peers.
 
I’m 29. Cradle Catholic. Catholc schools, never missed mass, altar boy, you name it.

When I was in my early 20’s, I became almost obsessed with learning about other Christian faiths. I wanted to make sure that the Catholic church was the “true” one. I wanted to make an independant choice on my own.

Tell you the truth, I still struggle with it all the time. Some Protestant books (not Anti-Catholic, just books that pro sola scriptura) make alot of sense.

My big thing was moving closer and closer to what Christ was calling me.

The one thing NOT TO DO is to shriek, yell, scream, and throw prayer cards at them. Nothing tuned me off more then my mom doing that (aside from the throwing prayer card thing) She nagged me in emails, said that I didn’t have a “deep faith” (and that really bothered me, still does. You can have a deep faith and not be Catholic)

The best thing to do is listen and ask them questions. Never lose your cool. You decided that they would be raised Catholic. Now, they must decide for themself.
Very interesting…
I’m also a Cradle Catholic, now 30… and while I’ve never been satisfied with, or even interested in, *anything *but the Catholic Faith, I do sympathize with the “over parenting” aspect.
When I was young I was given many “talks” by my mother that were nothing less than guilt-ridden, overbearing, emotional tirades. In many ways I’ve had to work through a lot of the twisted spirituality that was always drilled into my head.
Faith needs to be LIVED, not DRILLED or JUDGED. Daily family prayer is very important and completely necessary, but there IS a very fine line between genuine and show. Mass should be a way of life, not a battle or an extravagance… it truly is a balancing act that may be difficult to achieve. Genuine faith is visible, yet not overt.
Extremes tend to scare children, so staying very BALANCED, yet *unwavering *in faith is my best advice. 👍
 
A wonderful Catholic theologian, Dr. Marcellino D’Ambrosio, offers a great audio CD on his website (the Crossroads Initiative) called Keeping Your Kids Catholic. You can find the CD here: crossroadsinitiative.com/resource_info/80.html I have been fortunate to get to know Dr. D’Ambrosio and his family, including his five wonderful, faithful kids. I hope this is a helpful resource for you!
 
I agree, living your own faith is the best teacher. I am the youngest of five and my parents did an excellent job of “keeping us Catholic.” It wasn’t so much with religious ed classes or stuff like that but more just their own love for God and their own love for the faith.
 
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