Kept on very short leash with respect to impure thoughts -- kinda frustrated

[SurrenderAT20]

Hello

TL;DR - smallest of impure thoughts give physical sensation of discomfort in my chest which only disappears after confession.

A little background, I’m fairly orthodox but not a radtrad, I try to go to daily mass 2-3 times a week. I don’t masturbate (8 years clean) or watch porn and keep the commandments for the most part. I have moments of weakness and watch porn maybe 2-3 times a year close to holidays when drunk and lonely but for the most part I have no interest in that stuff.

However, I have a very peculiar spiritual condition. Whenever I commit a sin (i think mortal??) I suddenly get this slight discomfort in my chest. It’s not painful but it’s very uncomfortable and it ONLY goes away when I go to confession. It is extremely uncanny and almost like an exact science. Right at the MOMENT of absolution the discomfort disappears and I feel normal. Also, I’ve tried ignoring it thinking it’s just my imagination and receiving the Eucharist but then that discomfort only gets WORSE.

Now, you might think "oh cool spiritual ‘gift’ " but the problem is that for the last 1-2 years I’ve been on an extremely short leash when it comes to impure thoughts. If I so much as slightly imagine a naked woman or view a racy image that discomfort in my chest comes back and I can only get rid of it by going to confession. This causes problems because I end up going to confession 4-5 times a week and have to abstain from the Eucharist quite often. It’s almost not fair because just browsing the net or walking around and seeing a cute chick can catch me off guard. It’s so incredibly hard to keep control of my thoughts and keep impure thoughts out and I’ve kinda given up and just go to confession 1-2 a week now and have pretty much stopped going to daily mass.

I’m sure there is some sort of spiritual insight to be gathered here but if any of you have any tips on what I should do or where God might be going with this then I would greatly appreciate it. I’ve tried talking to one or two priests about it but they just give me some generic advice and don’t take me too seriously. Thanks.

 

[Trident_H]

Hey man. Wow. Ok so here’s what I’m thinking about this. I’m thinking you’re dealing with anxiety. That can trigger real tension. A real feeling of pain. I know what I’m talking about. My heart aches daily. This is a real thing. So of course confession gets rid of the anxiety. And the tension fades out. Good deal.

Now. I don’t think for a minute that God’s giving you this sensitivity and then expecting as His reward that you’ll just skip daily Mass. I mean I know the problems here. You’re trying to be good. You’re trying your best. But those girls. Man. Those girls just get into a guy’s head. And if he doesn’t shake them out fast enough he’s into full mental affair mode. Ok. But you do know that if you don’t dwell on those thoughts they don’t count as mortal right? I mean impure thoughts are a given for a guy. But the mortal stuff’s reserved for the full 5 minute fantasy. The conjuring up of the image at a time and place agreed. Not the short flick that takes a guy by surprise. Even if it’s a full show. If you didn’t bring it to mind on purpose. And if you don’t pin it there for a full examination. Well then you’re in the clear. There’s nothing on you in that. So you can just let those times slide.

Whenever I get a thought like that I usually just change the scenery. Then I focus on something in the background. I mean I’ve found that trying not to think of something’s impossible. So instead I just look past the thing in my head. I look for some other detail in there. And replace the foreground with a bit of a telephoto zoom. Right past them. I don’t know if that helps. But take care man. God’s got to be pretty happy with you anyway. You’re a good sort for sure.

Peace.

-Trident

 

[AttendeDomine]

This is another reason why it’s a bad idea to permit feelings and emotions to dictate our spiritual lives.

These things need to be kept on an **objective **level, and the gravity of sins needs to be analyzed with **reason **, not with emotions, not with physical sensations, not with the way a particular action or thought makes us feel. Our bodies and how they react to things are not the rule of faith: they can easily be manipulated by natural and supernatural means. The rule of faith is something outside of ourselves, and we must conform to it, rather than forcing it to conform to us and our subjective passions (i.e., emotions).

Let’s be frank. God probably hasn’t provided you with a physical mechanism in your chest through which you determine whether or not sin is mortal. Instead, God gave you an intellect, which exists both in your soul and in your brain. That is what God intends each of us to use to analyze these things, you included.

If you are having physical sensations that lead to scrupulosity, and if your spiritual life is gravely suffering as a result of these sensations, and if you’re having obsessive thoughts about a particular form of sin, it is far, far more likely that any *supernatural *explanation for these things would be a form of demonic obsession, rather than some sort of external assistance, some odd form of infallibility, coming directly from God. Confession is a highly effective form of exorcism, after all, and if these feelings go away for a bit after Confession, then that actually should tell you something.

If you’ve consulted with priests who are trustworthy, then your obligation is to obey them, and to put aside your emotions. I don’t know what “generic” advice entails, but, with all due respect, perhaps this is far more a generic situation than you might think, and perhaps the answer lies more in setting aside feelings to pursue something difficult, rather than in permitting yourself to be dragged all around by your nose because you’ve experienced temptations.

 

[ynotzap]

surrender AT20: Feelings do not constitute sin, if we give into them and enjoy them if they are impure, then they are sins, even mortal. It is natural to respond to female attraction, God designed it that way. But because we suffer from sin and it effects, that is we have a strong leaning towards sensual pleasure (one of the effects of original sin) we have to be on our guard. the leaning towards immoral sensual pleasure is not a sin in itself. We can expect this reaction and not to stress, as advised by others. But you must make strong efforts to avoid the occasions of sin, and you know what they are. You need wholesome involvment, and you need all the grace you can get. You know your weaknesses, and you also must account for the spiritual fact, that Satan is real and wants to destroy you, consciously confront him, and tell him to go where he was assigned in the Name of Jesus, practice your faith. When I realize what he has done to so many, me inclluded, I get real angry, and even great hatred for him, but I know I am not to hate anyone, no even Satan, so I make him sick, by saying I love him, because he is drawing me closer to God Maybe he will learn to lay off bugging me Jesus loves you, and He just wants you go to Him for His love, and comfort. Don’t give up the good fight, every time he knocks you down, turn to Christ, He is in your corner. A good fighter never stays down. Satan when he recognizes that you are becoming strong, he will back off. He will lay in wait for you to experience a weak moment, so keep spiritually toned for the fight, make good use of all the Sacraments. Praying for you.

 

[Myst]

Hey Friend,

I had a similar problem stemming from an overactive (as freud would say) superego, a.k.a. a guilt complex. Me, I appreciate it because I’m really good at talking myself into believing something isn’t really a mortal sin, but my subconscious gets me every time. However, I’d suggest learning a bit more about it and discovering what actually constitutes mortal. Otherwise you’ll end up like me curled up on the living room floor in pure agony if you kiss your girlfriend. Not fun… I’d suggest going to a spiritual director and/or a counselor. Also realize that God made you a man for a reason, and he hardwired you that way for the same reason. It’s not evil to have desires - just to act on them/dwell on them.

God Bless and Good Luck!