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Maybe learn that when a Mass is about to begin in 5 minutes, there should be a serene peace which engulfs one rather than terror.The question then becomes, what am I to learn? Should I take this as a message to pray even harder for the sanctification of clergy and for an increase in vocations? Or to mortify myself with the intention of making reparations for all the neglect and sin shown to Christ and his Sacred Heart in tabernacles throughout the world? Should I try even harder to return Love for Love, so that my love can make up for all the love that is not shown to him? . . . Should I take this as a reminder of the blessing of having holy and orthodox priests in my parish? Or is that taking something bad and making it about me and my feelings instead of about God and His feelings? What does God want me to do, what is His divine will? What can be done that will conform to His wish for me, and for that parish?
Maybe I should simply learn to keep these sorrows in my heart as a cross to bear for love of my Lord and my God.