Kicked out of my pew!

[PatriceA]

So if someone starts raping you in the pew would you not scream for help? Or would you let yourself be raped rather than than disturb the silence?

That is really offensive, and ignorant to compare this situation to a rape.

 

[catharina]

Am I the only one that doesn’t think being in your “60’s” is old? No matter what kind of day she had or what she has been through, there is no excuse for that kind of behavior…unless she is in the early stages of Alzheimers. Personality change, along with memory loss, are some of the early signs. Perhaps you this could be brought up with the priest…maybe he knows she has some early dementia.

Of course! Speak to the priest about her.

 

[catharina]

Look at it in terms of harassing someone in prayer instead.

No.
You look at it in terms of suggesting a rape in a church.

Bye.

 

[catharina]

You were as polite as you could be, that is admirable. Her behavior is a little out of the ordinary and, of course, rude. I wonder if she is having a hard time right now, or maybe has a little dementia starting early? She just doesn’t sound 100% normal. That said, we all have our days when we’re “off”.

Pray for her, and that will help any anger towards her subside.

Of course.

 

[cecilia97]

Amen!

And neither is the** “you don’t know what her life has been like/what she’s been through” excuse**. I lost a husband to suicide, a fiance to a heart attack, have battled depression, and dealt with my children’s grief and emotional issues as well, all as a financially struggling young widow and sole support of my family in an unstable economic time. And I don’t go round kicking people out of their seats at Mass.

Miz

It’s not necessarily an excuse…it could be a reason. Everyone has different levels of self-control. Everyone has different brain chemistry, too. Rather mild, garden-variety depression can play havoc with some peoples’ manners.

I think she was rude. I also think she may have had extenuating circumstances. Thirdly, and above all, I think she needs prayer.

 

[Imryl]

I would have simply said no, and invited her to take a seat next to me.

 

[mtnmikeblue]

Anyway, I just do see a trend - not just in this thread, but in general - that any confrontation is considered unChristian. That is far from the truth and only enables wrong behavior. Please also remember that Christ did in fact turn over tables in the Temple.

AMEN! Confrontation is part of life. We just need to keep our hearts in check while doing so. Nevertheless, it sometimes can not and should not be avoided.

 

[Norseman82]

That is really offensive, and ignorant to compare this situation to a rape.

No.
You look at it in terms of suggesting a rape in a church.

Bye.

I think I made my point.

For those who say that the OP should wait until after Mass and speak to her outside, please keep in mind that the confrontation may get even uglier outside, and to me that is more serious than simply raising my voice in front of the Blessed Sacrament to tell her “Will you leave me alone? I’m trying to pray here.”

And if it is said loud enough and in those terms, it may get the attention of an usher or sacristan or priest who could come to aid at that moment.

 

[PatriceA]

I think I made my point.

For those who say that the OP should wait until after Mass and speak to her outside, please keep in mind that the confrontation may get even uglier outside, and to me that is more serious than simply raising my voice in front of the Blessed Sacrament to tell her “Will you leave me alone? I’m trying to pray here.”

And if it is said loud enough and in those terms, it may get the attention of an usher or sacristan or priest who could come to aid at that moment.

Do you make all your points in such a disgusting and vile manner, or was this exception?

 

[catharina]

I think I made my point.

For those who say that the OP should wait until after Mass and speak to her outside, please keep in mind that the confrontation may get even uglier outside, and to me that is more serious than simply raising my voice in front of the Blessed Sacrament to tell her “Will you leave me alone? I’m trying to pray here.”

And if it is said loud enough and in those terms, it may get the attention of an usher or sacristan or priest who could come to aid at that moment.

Your “point” being crude, rude and lewd?
You have a mother, a sister, an aunt, a wife??? Guess not.

Acc to the OP, *"A few of us go to Church **40minutes before Mass starts **in order to say the rosary before Mass. There are about 5 of us, and we sit near each other but not exactly right next to each other. Anyway, we were halfway through to rosary, I was kneeling down in the usual place in the same pew I have been sitting in for some months. All of a sudden, I get a tap on my shoulder. “Move up”, says a lady in her sixties that I did recognize but I hadn’t seen her at Mass in a while. **So I thought to myself oh she obviously wants to get in - and even though this Church sits about 250 people and there are currently 5 people in it now … . ***

Yet YOUR solution is: get LOUD. Hope for an usher to spring into action.
Better yet, yell so that the priest comes flying out of the sacristy -
if the priest is even in the church yet. That’s the opposite of brilliant.

It is defiant and irreverent behavior.
I can see that it is your way though.

 

[dixieagle]

well I don’t own the church or any pew in it, so if I were asked by word or look to move, I would move. Who were you angry with, her or yourself? if you can answer that, you know what you have to work on. Personally I wish the ushers could be issued cattle prods to make people at the ends of the pews move in when they can clearly see people are waiting. I especially hate that feigned attitude of profound devotion that prevents people from either moving or making room when someone is standing right next to them.

This would be valid if most of the rest of the church hadn’t been EMPTY, as the OP mentioned.

 

[catharina]

Do you make all your points in such a disgusting and vile manner, or was this exception?

Again, thank you, Patrice.
Thank you too for calling him on the “rape in church” comment.
Honest to goodness, who’d have guessed … ?

 

[dixieagle]

But she is in her 60th, we should give excuse to her seniority, then if it’s “eye for an eye” concept, then what is the difference between a Christian and the others…

Honey, as someone fast approaching my 60th birthday, please realize that reaching 60 does not signal decrepitude, and is no excuse for being crabby and territorial in church - or anywhere!

 

[Norseman82]

Your “point” being crude, rude and lewd?
You have a mother, a sister, an aunt, a wife??? Guess not.

Acc to the OP, *"A few of us go to Church **40minutes before Mass starts ***in order to say the rosary before Mass. There are about 5 of us, and we sit near each other but not exactly right next to each other. Anyway, we were halfway through to rosary, I was kneeling down in the usual place in the same pew I have been sitting in for some months. All of a sudden, I get a tap on my shoulder. “Move up”, says a lady in her sixties that I did recognize but I hadn’t seen her at Mass in a while. **So I thought to myself oh she obviously wants to get in - and even though this Church sits about 250 people and there are currently 5 people in it now … . **

Yet YOUR solution is: get LOUD. Hope for an usher to spring into action.
Better yet, yell so that the priest comes flying out of the sacristy -
if the priest is even in the church yet. That’s the opposite of brilliant.

It is defiant and irreverent behavior.
I can see that it is your way though.

You did not address my point that it could get uglier outside.

 

[Stylites]

You did not address my point that it could get uglier outside.

Your point seems rife with a sense of hopelessness. Even so, catharina is right in that outside in private in the vestibule would be the best place to address this problem. And if she refuses to civilly discuss then the priest ought to be informed.

.

 

[JadeStarr]

Please do not make this about a “mom” knowing best and choosing the way Miz would have handled the situation. THIS mom would have chosen much differently.

Miz was saying that as a mother she was willing to take charge of the situation. If you would choose not to, that’s fine too.
However I prefer the manner in which Miz would handle a situation.
At some point, someone has got to step up to the plate and do something, otherwise there’s chaos.

 

[JadeStarr]

Do you make all your points in such a disgusting and vile manner, or was this exception?

OMGosh! Patrice, that wasn’t very nice at all!

 

[catharina]

You did not address my point that it could get uglier outside.

Outside, after Mass, there would be ‘cloud of witnesses.’
Ordinarily there would also be the priest, maybe a deacon too.
No possibility it could get “uglier.”
So far, you win the prize for “ugly.”

Your “point” is pointless.

Your comment about a rape in church is vile and without merit.

 

[JadeStarr]

Again, thank you, Patrice.
Thank you too for calling him on the “rape in church” comment.
Honest to goodness, who’d have guessed … ?

All I can is WOW…just WOW…between you and Patrice I’m shocked!
Can we all try to be a little kinder?

 

[catharina]

Miz was saying that as a mother she was willing to take charge of the situation. If you would choose not to, that’s fine too.
However I prefer the manner in which Miz would handle a situation.
At some point, someone has got to step up to the plate and do something, otherwise there’s chaos.

That’s a role for the priest.
Otherwise, just move over.