Kids are bored at Church. Advice requested

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crypiehef

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We recently started going back to church after an 8 year hiatus. Reasons which are personal but yes, we made a huge mistake in that.

Our kids (3 of them) were all baptized. Their ages range from 9 to 14. Our oldest son remembers going to church when he was younger and doesn’t have a problem going back. My youngest, daughter, seems to be very into going as well, however, our middle son has no interest what-so-ever.

We asked him what he thought of mass last Sunday and just replied “boring”.

This last Sunday was, in fact, their first day going back to mass and I understand why he is bored. (Our fault of course).

Any suggestions on helping maybe motivate or help him feel more comfortable? Without putting a complete fear of God into his head?

Thank you for any suggestions. God bless.
 
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We shouldn’t rush. I was fortunate to go back to church by myself without my fam at first I thought it was boring but as time progressed my feeling change from boredom to interest.

And congrats on going back!
 
Welcome home.

Yes, Mass can seem boring. That’s part of being human. One thing that I have heard greatly helps in this scenario (for younger children, at least) is explaining the parts of the Mass. If you didn’t know, every single thing done at Mass has a significance, and everything that is done is done a specific way. Explaining what is going on, why those things are done, and why they’re done the way they are, will probably greatly enhance the experience for your son. You may even learn something yourself, enhancing your own experience as well.
 
It’s going to be difficult at this age of their lives.

I guess the best advice I can give is, don’t push hard.

Jim
 
crypiehef said:
Any suggestions on helping maybe motivate or help him feel more comfortable? Without putting a complete fear of God into his head?
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Get some materials that explain the mass at his level so he understand what is going on.

Also, begin to instill awe for God and worship as our response to God’s love.

Have these discussions at home and incorporate prayer rituals such as meal time, short rosary before bed (maybe 1 decade a night to start), or other formal prayers.

Talk about God and why we worship. Talk about the mass prayers and what they mean.

Talk about relationship with God the Father, with Jesus, with the Holy Spirit. Cultivate it. It takes time.
 
Im not speaking of your kids in particular because I dont know your situation.

We live in a world with fun stuff at the tips of our fingertips 24/7. Electronics can be similar to drugs where we get pleasure 24/7. Its not wonder why kids cant sit through mass.

I love the game of baseball but most kids, including my own, in these times of our find it boring. Its not fast enough like the electronic and TV screen, constant stimulation.

My best advice is to talk to them about the Real Presence of Jesus Christ. Once its realized that Jesus Christ is truly present on Earth, everything about him, his eyes, his divinity, his miracles, everything, where else would you rather be? And to receive him! Our Churchs should be packed to the gills, Adoration packed, Tabernacles adored, Masses filled. Jesus is therem truly present there, waiting to work miracles in peoples lives, but we are too wrapped up in the electronics, TV, and the world to see this.
 
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Even adults find mass boring sometimes, but I think that is because they don’t really get what is going on.
Sit near the front, (but not the front couple of rows) so he can see what’s going on. But before mass, you really need to have a good discussion about mass and why it is important. Somewhere there is probably a teaching mass on YouTube that you could watch to explain things if that would be easier, but I would suggest you watch it, and teach in your own words.


If your children have not received communion or been confirmed, please get them signed up for classes.
Welcome back.
 
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Try making the Mass to be part of bigger “event”. Combine the Mass with another activity such as going out for a meal or to a park. If it is something that can be done with regularity, the “boring” Mass will only be part of a fun family day. I have a 17 year old son. Sonic is always his choice after Mass.
 
The advice about teaching what the mass is all about is good. I would add that my kids have gone to mass every sunday their entire lives and they probably still would say its boring at times. The most important thing to do, is just keep going. Every week. Its what you do on Sunday morning. Never miss. Even at their age, they will come to understand within a short period of time, this is us. And you can do the teaching about the mass at a decent pace, not trying to rush it thinking you can fix the problem quickly. The problem is not that they are bored, the problem is that your family hasn’t been going to mass. Its great you are changing that, just be persistent and give it time.
 
crypiehef said:
This last Sunday was, in fact, their first day going back to mass and I understand why he is bored. (Our fault of course).

Any suggestions on helping maybe motivate or help him feel more comfortable?
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You can point out that if your family was pentecostal or something, they’d have to spend several hours in church every week. The Catholic Mass is mercifully a lot shorter, and they should thank Almighty God for that. An episode of Bernie Mac several years ago made that critical point.
 
Liturgical services are not something easy to explain to the uninitiated period. It is also based on a fairly set formula…which makes it very vulnerable to becoming formulaic. My spouse is a Lutheran Pastor who is no real fan of the traditional Lutheran Liturgy, which is nearly indistinguishable from the Catholic Mass to the untrained eye. We tell kids to be quiet and stay put, it’s a wonder they are bored. I know it’s tempting to blame our fast paced culture and there is something to that. However this has been an issue long before smartphones, social media, and video games.

Changing the translation of liturgical responses if not church renewal. Churches that thriving are directly involving the kids. Children’s sermons that are both engaging; but more importantly not pandering, kids smell that quickly. Bringing the kids up to the alter; even for consecration. The one Priest I really remember from growing up did just that. Let the kids run one of the Masses, let them read, let them run the music. All of these and more are things my spouse on a regular basis and has a following of kids for it.

If I am, I don’t mean to be preachy, but I see Church from behind the scenes all the time. I watch the parents of baby boomers complain how their are no kids in church. They complain about kids not being nailed to their seats, yet a good number of these people come and go from the sanctuary on a regular basis during the service. The miss that in the case of this particular church about one third of the people there are below the age of about 12. They miss that their idea of church over the last 50 plus years is why most of their children don’t attend church. Now they’ve managed to destroy their church since these attitudes have stymied attempts to change the culture of this church and now about 2/3rds of the church are looking for a new home.

We need to not lose track of liturgical heritage, but there are many ways to pull it into the present. I’m now off my soap box.
 
Thank you 1ke. Wise words indeed. We have started to before meals and doing the Chaplet of Divine Mercy (Rosary) in the afternoon. We have also started to re-teach the kids Catechism but we will take it slow.

All of your other suggestions sound great! Thank you so much for the support!
 
Are they also attending parish education classes? preparing for other sacraments?
I think it can be really hard for kiddos NOT to be bored in mass. You might look into some homeschooling like materials to get them caught up on what they’ve missed by not attending mass.

Ask your priest or PSR coordinator for some ideas to engage your middle son. My parish has a very active school, and youth ministry program, but not all parishes have this resource. Something else to ask your parish office about.

Good Luck!
 
Are the kids all close? Maybe the other two who like mass, can motivate him to go with them?
 
JanetF said:
I think it can be really hard for kiddos NOT to be bored in mass.
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That’s fair enough. But I think kids have to understand that being bored is part of life, but they still have to do it.

Meetings and training sessions, dental treatments, MRI tests, classes in school- there is a lot of stuff out there that isn’t that terribly interesting to kids and sometimes not to adults either. But you still have to do it, too bad.
 
Nelka said:
Really?

Why is that?
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I think you should ask our Pentecostal friends about that.

There used to be a pentecostal church right below Washington Trade School on 40th St. here in Pittsburgh, not far from my house. Their parishioners were there for a lot time on Sunday, most of the day.
 
I have children similar ages. We attend Saturday 4:00pm Mass so on Friday I give them a “sneak preview” and we read the gospel passage for Mass. We talk about words they don’t know, what the scene is, what Jesus is saying, and how we can apply it to our lives. It gives them something to listen for. Sometimes at Mass they will look over at me and smile if father’s homily addresses an aspect that we talked about.

I also agree with the recommendations above to teach them the parts of the Mass and that we go to Mass because it pleases God, not because it necessarily pleases us. I also remember having to explain to my son that there are 168 hours in a week and that God allows us to do as we please the other 167 hours and that at 1 hour a week God is actually asking very little of us. It helped him to see it that way, that God is quite reasonable.
 
crypiehef said:
Any suggestions on helping maybe motivate or help him feel more comfortable?
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Work on his spiritual formation at home. Pray the rosary together with the family, or at least part of it. Say the creed at home, and talk about what the words mean.

Study the Sunday readings on Saturday or another day before Mass and talk about what God is saying to us in them. Then when he goes to Mass it will sound more familiar.

To be meaningful, it must connect to “real life”.

After Mass, talk about who remembers what from the homily.

Play Relevant Radio in the house.
 
Perhaps you could get a good book with illustrations showing what REALLY goes on at mass (the representation of the Sacrifice of Jesus on Calvary.) I can’t think of any off the top of my head, but I could look around.
 
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